All He Needed
by The Lori C
Summary: WWE Superstar Paul London is raising two young daughters alone after the unexpected death of his wife years earlier. He then meets executive secretary Montana Hayes and both of their lives change.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Montana Hayes was bored out of her skull; one would have thought Creative would live up to their name. As she sat taking her usual copious notes at yet another meeting, Montana could only shake her head in bemusement as she listened to yet more recycled or duplicate gimmick and story line ideas.

_God, _she thought as she wrote down meeting minutes, _I've seen kids posting on wrestling boards or even **chimpanzees** that could come up with better ideas than these._

"Monty, could you read back the minutes of what we have so far, please?" one of the staff asked her.

"The name's _Montana_," she corrected, before reading back her notes while concentrating on not rolling her eyes.

_And while you're at it, _she thought, _HBK, Diesel, Chavo and Bam called. They want their gimmicks back._

She was finally snapped back to attention when one of the staff women had brought up that the 450 was being used again at a few house shows.

"Wait," Montana spoke up while scribbling on her pad furiously. "Didn't they ban that move some time back?"

The woman nodded. "Yeah, looks like the big boss is now letting talent use the 450 splash again without getting in trouble. Evan Bourne's been using it since his debut in ECW brand Paul London used it during his match at a house show in Lexington."

"Isn't that the kid that got in trouble for using it last year or the year before?" Montana was still a bit confused.

"That's him. At one point the boss had said that if he used the maneuver again that he would fire the kid on the spot. Considering all the things that boy had done and run his mouth off a few times, he's really well thought of by management."

Montana shrugged. "I only know the guy to just see him around. Obviously I don't get to mix with the talent much."

"He's really a nice guy," the woman replied. "He can get kind of mouthy and put in his opinion where it isn't needed at times and has some anger problems now and again, but other than that, he's a class act. Of course, any man raising two little girls by himself scores high in my book."

"Wait…what? He's a single parent? How does he manage that and where is their mother?"

"No one knows; he doesn't talk about it. Paul did bring the girls with him a lot before the older one started school. She's about five or six, I think. Then he'd leave them with his parents a good deal. I suppose he'd figured they needed some kind of home life, and to be honest, road life isn't really suited for small kids like that. They're good little girls, though."

"Those poor kids," Montana said sympathetically. "No mother in sight and a dad that's away at least 300 days a year."

"Even so, they seem quite well adjusted. The older one is a little mature for her age, though; she looks after her sister very well. The little one is about three, but one would hardly know she was around, she's so quiet. Did I mention they are also beautiful girls?"

"No, but something told me to guess that anyway," Montana smiled. "Then again, I think all kids are beautiful. So tell me more about this guy, outside of the fact he's got two daughters, is a classy person, and hardly shown on TV."

"Well, Montana, here is the story……"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Hey, quit jumping on the bed, both of you," Paul scolded. "Come on, you two know better than that, especially _you_, Mac."

Six year old Mackenzie pouted. "_Papi_, we're bored," she whined.

"I put Nickelodeon on," he said. "Go take Kira in the other room and watch that for awhile. I got some stuff to check and my travel things to book and need you two to settle down. Besides, the last thing I need right now is an emergency room bill because one of you fell off the bed from jumping on it."

Mac sighed and took three year old Kira's hand. "Come on, Sissy; _Papi's_ busy and we can't make noise or he'll get mad again."

"Guys, I'm not mad, I just need you two to settle down. I know you're bored, but then again so am I. Just go watch TV and be quiet for a bit until I'm done and then we can go do something. Okay?"

Mac perked up at the thought of them going out. "Okay!"

Paul sighed as he watched his two little girls go into the next room, reflecting on how rough it had been for all of them the last three years since Reggie had died unexpectedly in her sleep. Mac had been barely three and Kira only eight months old when it happened.

Actually, he hadn't even thought about ending up with someone like Reggie; she'd started out being a random fling each time they'd hooked up when he had come to town for a show. Most would have thought she was a 'step down' from the types of girls he _had _dated; though Reggie Sargent was pretty with short dark hair and glasses, she was far from model thin, but at about 160 pounds, she hadn't been exactly enormous either. The joke going around had to be that the woman must have been a hellcat in the sack to get a guy like Paul at the time.

But when she'd gotten pregnant with Mackenzie and it was confirmed he was the child's father, adding in to the fact he'd developed feelings for Reggie at the same time, they had gotten married six months before Mac was born.

It hadn't mattered that they were still relatively young or he was still working his way up in the independents, he felt it was important that at least Mac knew who her dad was.

Reggie had barely potty trained Mac when she discovered she was pregnant again a little over two years later. Kira had been born at home, obviously in a tearing hurry to make her debut into the world, though neither of her parents could figure out why.

On what would be the last night of her life, Reggie and Paul had gone out, leaving the girls with a sitter overnight. She had been perfectly fine and in high spirits; it wasn't very often they had the opportunity to be alone to go out anywhere, between his schedule and of course having the girls around most of the time.

They had come home and made love before going to sleep, but sometime during the night, Reggie had taken her final breath.

When Paul discovered she was dead the following morning, he'd been beside himself. Reggie had been a strong, healthy woman, what would have made her die so suddenly?

He'd requested an autopsy on Reggie's body, which revealed she had had suffered a fatal cardiac arrhythmia, along with sleep apnea.

_Strange, _Paul had thought. Reg had never mentioned having any type of heart problem, nor had he remembered her saying anything about sleep apnea. Sure, she had snored like a bear at times; both of them made jokes about who snored the loudest, but was there a chance she'd had the apnea and it hadn't been diagnosed? By then, it had been too late to find out.

_At least she didn't have time to suffer_, he thought. _At least her death was peaceful._

After her funeral, the pressing question had been how Paul was going to manage an active three year old and her baby sister by himself. He had no idea on how to raise little girls; he barely learned how to change diapers when Mac was born and then again when Kira came along.

It had been Reggie that had seen to their care for the most part up to this point, and now that she was gone, he had some lessons to learn. Over the next few years, it had been basically trial and error, but then he'd grown somewhat more proficient, even styling Mac's hair for her first day of kindergarten.

When Mac had started first grade and Kira preschool, Paul began leaving the girls with one or the other of his parents while on the road. They had objected at first, but despite their circumstances of his career and them without a mother the last few years, he felt it was important that they had some kind of stability in their lives–even if it was via their grandparents–and that they went ot school to be around other kids their own ages.

During the summer, he took them with him as often as he could. Mac seemed like a miniature old lady for being six, always looking after Kira, and outside of things that drove him nuts like them jumping on the bed or whining, they were good kids that gave him, and everyone else, little to no trouble.

Back in the present as he heard the girls giggling at something on TV in the next room, Paul slapped the cover of the laptop shut, figuring he could finish what he had to do later while they were asleep.

"Who's up for McDonald's?" he called to them.

Unison cries of "Me!" responded excitedly.

"Okay, guys, get your shoes so we can put them on, then we can go."

"Are you done already, _Papi?" _Mac wondered, handing him Kira's shoes before putting on her own.

"Nothing that can't wait till later," he grinned, putting the shoes on his younger daughter's feet and tying them. "Especially when I have a chance to go out with two beautiful young ladies."

"_Papi_ silly," Kira giggled.

"Oh yeah? You'll see how silly your _papi _really is when I stuff both of you with junk food until you can't take any more," Paul laughed, grabbing Kira and picking her up. "Okay, let's go have that outing."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"_Papi, _I can't find Sissy!" Mackenzie cried when she burst into the locker room the next day.

"Mac, how many times have I told you not to barge in here without knocking? You're lucky there isn't anyone else in here that isn't dressed. And what do you mean you can't find your sister? She was supposed to be with you and I told both of you not to wander off unless I knew where you were," Paul said.

"We were just outside and I turned around and Sissy was gone."

"Oh God, Mac, you know how fast Kira is when she takes off. Where did you see her last?"

"Just right outside. We found some sand and were playing in it. Sissy said she had to pee and when I got up to turn around to take her to the bathroom, she was gone."

_Great, _Paul thought. It wasn't bad enough he would probably be jobbing again in yet another dark match that night, now one of his young daughters was missing.

Thoughts raced through his mind; though Kira was a bit shy, she was also a sweet and trusting little girl who could easily be persuaded by anyone she thought was even being remotely nice to her.

What if some psychotic predator had been observing her and Mac while the girls had been outside, snatching Kira once Mac's back was turned?

Mac would have been old enough to fight and scream had someone tried to take _her_, but Kira would have gone along willingly despite Paul warning her several times not to go with strangers.

Trying to stay calm, he told Mac to stay right where she was with a couple of the other guys while he went to look for Kira, reassuring his older daughter that her sister couldn't have wandered too far.

"Maybe she's in the bathroom, _Papi," _Mac offered. "Try there first, okay?"

"Okay," he nodded, though not exactly thrilled about the prospect of going into the ladies' room, even if it was to hunt for Kira.

_Meanwhile:_

Montana had just come out of one of the break rooms where she was actually able to do some paperwork in total quiet, taking the work to its respective departments before heading back for some much-needed coffee.

It had been about a few feet away from the coffee service that she had spotted a child that looked to be no more than three or four years old. Montana figured the girl had to belong to one of the talent, but what was this child doing wandering around alone backstage?

As she approached the little girl cautiously, Montana noticed that the child appeared to had been crying.

_She must be lost, _Montana pondered. _Poor kid._

Sqautting down to the child's level, Montana could see that the dark girl was pretty, if a little frightened.

"Hi," she said softly. "Are you lost?"

"Can't find my _papi_ or my sissy," the girl replied, about ready to cry again. "They left me!"

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sure no one left you. What's your dad's name?"

"Paul."

_Fantastic, that will sure narrow it down, _Montana thought. _There were **how many **guys in the company with that name? _This was going to be a challenge.

"And my sissy is Mac," the girl added, her hazel eyes widening.

"Well, what about you? Do you have a name?"

"Kira." She held up three fingers. "I'm this old."

Montana nodded, giving Kira a reassuring smile and getting an idea.

"Well, Kira, I'm Montana. Could you tell me what your dad looks like? Maybe that will help us find him."

Kira nodded, describing her father as best as any three year old could. Still, Montana nodded in recognition, knowing now it was the young widowed cruiserweight that fathered two little girls.

_I should have known to begin with, _she smiled to herself. _This child is a perfect image of him._

"Kira," she said confidently. "I think I may have seen your dad just a little bit ago." She scooped Kira in her arms. "Come on, sweetie, let's go find him. He's probably worried silly about you."

As Montana walked a short distance down the hall while carrying Kira, they spotted Paul headed their way.

"_Papi!" _Kira cried happily.

"Kira Buena! _Oquela_. Where have you been?" Both relief and annoyance were in his voice as he came up to them, immediately taking Kira.

"I had to pee," Kira explained. "I come out, nobody come get me."

Paul gently scolded her in Spanish before adding, "I was worried somebody bad may have come along and taken you, baby."

"Nobody take me. This lady found me," Kira nodded, her arms tight around Paul's neck.

"And you should be lucky that happened, _joven hija. _Don't ever take off like that again unless either I am or Mac is with you. Okay? _No more."_

"Okay, _Papi_," Kira nodded again.

Paul then turned his attention to Montana, hazel eyes meeting her green ones. "Thanks for finding her before God knows what would have happened."

Montana smiled. "I think she was more concerned about losing you and her sister than anything else. By the way, I'm Montana Hayes, one of the executive secretaries. I sit in on a lot of Creative meetings, mostly to take notes. I've seen you around, though I haven't had the opportunity to formally meet you until now."

"_Montana?" _he asked. "That's your real name? Sorry if I sound like a dick, but that's pretty….unusual."

"My father was an amateur boxer and won his first big championship in Helena, Montana the day I was born," she explained, smiling wider.

Paul smiled back. "Be thankful your dad didn't win his first big one in Saskatchewan," he joked.

Montana had to laugh; this guy certainly had a sense of humor considering the circumstances he'd endured the last few years.

"Or some other place with a crazy name, for that matter," she added. "Look, if you need anyone to look after your girls while you have a match tonight, I'll be happy to help."

He brightened. "Yeah? You sure it won't be a problem? Mac can get a little inquisitive at times and drive people nuts, and Kira here….well, I think she needs a leash…."

She stopped him, nodding. "It would be my pleasure."

"Thanks." He then turned back to Kira. "All right, missy, let's get back to your sister before she wonders if we abandoned her. At least now _Papi _here has problem about who's going to watch you guys if and when I have a match solved, thanks to this pretty lady." He smiled back at Montana. "Thanks again."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

When she finished up her work for the day, Montana headed over to stay with the girls as she had promised; Paul had told her to come to their hotel room, thinking they would all be more comfortable there.

"What kind of girl do you think I am?" she had teased him.

He had blushed a little before replying, "Um….actually, I was thinking you and the girls would be more comfortable there."

"I know that. I was just kidding."

"Oh…..okay."

_My goodness, _she thought, _Paul is so shy. From the way he carries on in the ring, though, one wouldn't think differently. It's just so sweet, kind of like how little Kira is._

By the time Montana had arrived at the hotel where Paul was staying with his daughters, Mackenzie and Kira had already had their baths and were in pajamas.

"I thought I would get them ready for bed before you came over to save you the struggle, especially Kira," Paul explained. "The girl is not a bath fan unless I'm giving it to her."

"Only _Papi_ give me baths," Kira nodded.

"Right," he agreed. "Now don't you and Mac give Montana any problems tonight while I'm gone. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah," Mac said. "You tell us that all the time, yet people say to you how good we are."

"Well, I'm telling you two again. I should be back before midnight, depending how the fan crush is after the show."

"Take your time," Montana encouraged. "I don't have anything to do tomorrow anyway."

"Thanks, but I want to be back as soon as possible before they drive you insane. Be warned, too, that Mac likes to play twenty questions with new people in my life, especially women."

Mac puffed her chest a little. "_Nobody_ takes advantage of _Papi_ when me and Sissy are around!"

"Yeah, and my love life suffers," Paul replied.

Montana had to chuckle a little, taking the list of instructions and contact numbers he'd given her, assuring him everything would be fine before he finally left.

They had played some games and Montana had read to them for awhile and then the girls wanted to watch TV. She scanned the list of things Paul had left behind for TV programs the girls were allowed to watch, before she turned on a family-friendly program they could all enjoy.

"Are you guys hungry?" she finally asked them, feeling a little ravenous herself. "Your dad said we can order something if you got hungry before you went to bed."

"Me!" Kira piped up.

"Sissy likes to eat," Mac giggled. "Like _Papi."_

"I think Kira is like her daddy in many ways," Montana smiled, picking up a room service menu. "Would you like something too, Mackenzie?"

"Yeah. Not too much, 'cause I don't want to get fat."

"Honey, you're only six. Why would you worry about being fat? You're like a little bird!"

"One of the boys at school said our _mami_ went to heaven because she was fat."

"Oh, Mac, I don't really think that is what happened to your mother at all. And besides, she couldn't have been too bad if your daddy loved her."

"_Papi_ loved her a lot. He was really sad for a long time. He didn't take off his ring till like a few weeks ago."

"He wore it that whole time?" Montana asked, feeling a little sad.

Mac nodded. "Uh huh, except when he wrestled, then he put it back on afterward. I think maybe he thought if he did, _Mami_ might come back after all. Then he didn't wear it no more."

_That poor man, _Montana thought, _losing his wife so young and then still wearing his wedding ring all that time after her passing._

She figured from what Mac had just told her, perhaps no longer wearing his wedding band was a sign that perhaps Paul had finally come to terms and accepted his wife's death. Still, it had to be difficult for him managing such a demanding career and raising two children under ten years old, daughters at that. Montana couldn't help but feel sympathy toward this young family.

Montana sighed, picking up the phone to order food for both of the girls and herself before settling back with them again while waiting on their order.

When the food arrived, they all ate together, Kira letting go a little burp as Montana held back a giggle.

"Sissy!" Mac scolded. "Excuse yourself."

"Sorry," Kira replied. "'Scuse me. _Papi _does it too."

"And it's gross." Mac rolled her eyes. "Sissy should have been a boy. She acts like it sometimes."

Montana couldn't help but chuckle. _That little one was her father's daughter all right._

"Maybe because she spends so much time with Dad," she suggested.

"So do I, but it don't mean I have to _act_ like him," Mac shook her head "Grandma Alice says we should be _ladies. _Like one day, _Papi_ had just drank down a whole can of Pepsi in like two minutes and then let out a big one that shook the room and then Sissy did it too. Grandma Alice yelled at _Papi _and said he should raise us to act like _girls_, not monkeys!"

"Well, I'm sure she is right," Montana nodded. "You should learn to be ladies, though it's okay to let loose now and again when you play or something like that."

"Yeah. I don't think _Papi_ likes her much anyway; she isn't his real _mami _or nothing."

Montana raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Did you lose your real grandma too?"

Mac shook her head. "Uh uh. She's in New Mexico. She and Grandpa are divorced. She's really nice and worries about _Papi_ a lot. She's afraid he'll get hurt or go to heaven like _Mami_ did and then we'll have no parents at all."

"Well, considering your dad's line of work, I can't say I blame your grandma for worrying."

"Yeah, but he tells her don't worry so much; he knows what he's doing. We get to see her sometimes when _Papi _is off. I'll be at Grandpa's when I go back to school, though. _Papi _won't take me and Sissy with him when there's school."

"He wants you to have a normal childhood and a good education," Montana nodded.

"Yeah, he says that too," Mac agreed. "But can I ask you something?"

"Sure, sweetheart, what is it?"

"You think _Papi's_ cute?"

Montana smiled. "I think he's a very attractive man. What brought that up?"

Mac smiled back at her. "Want to know a secret? I heard he tell another guy before he brought me and Sissy back here that he thinks you're pretty."

"Oh, I see," Montana nodded, knowing now exactly where this was headed.

But no way would she find it feasible; Montana always had a personal policy of no matter where she worked, she never dated co-workers. She certainly wasn't going to start now on dating the talent, even one with two beautiful, motherless little girls.

"So you going to baby-sit us again?" Kira asked.

"That's up to your daddy," Montana answered, "but I certainly wouldn't mind if I were asked again."

_As for going out with **him**, _she thought, _definitely out of the question. _Montana was sure she wasn't his type anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

By the time Paul was able to get back to the room a little before midnight, both Mackenzie and Kira had been long asleep.

Kira had fallen asleep in Montana's lap while they had been watching a movie; she had tucked the little girl into one of the beds. It hadn't been long after that Mac had joined her sister, cuddled against Kira.

Now Paul looked over at the sleeping figures before glancing back at Montana.

"Wait a minute; they always act up before going to bed. How did you get them to…." he began.

"They had a snack and Kira fell asleep during the movie," she replied. "Mackenzie started to doze off on the floor before I told her to go to bed. They weren't a problem all night. Actually, your older one is quite a conversationalist."

"Oh God. I don't think I want to ask what the hell she told you."

"Frankly, let's just say both of those little girls think the world of you."

"Mac said that?" Paul looked shocked.

"She didn't have to," Montana answered. "I picked up on it right away. You know, that child gets concerned about you sometimes."

"Sometimes I think Little Miss Mackenzie gets more concerned about me than she should."

"You really should look at it from her side, Paul. She lost her mother at a young age and in a way, had to grow up quick. She's almost like a little mother to Kira."

"Yeah, I haven't exactly been father of the year since Reggie died. If I'm not dragging them with me and leaving them with sitters all summer when I have matches, they're dumped with my pops and step mom the rest of the year while Mac's in school and Kira has preschool."

"I haven't really known you long, but I think from what I've seen and the girls told me so far, I think you've done quite well under your circumstances. But haven't you dated anyone that's at least taken _some_ interest in them?"

"Does such a woman even _exist?" _Paul asked solemnly.

"I'm sure at least one would love to have someone like you and those two beautiful children," Montana encouraged.

He snorted. "Right. The younger girls at my feet are only good for sucking and fucking, and I've been past that shit since I married Reg and the girls came along. The older ones, well, they're either married with their own kids or more interested in fucking the guys further up the totem pole, so to speak, and they see _me_ more as a buddy."

"Have you even tried looking outside of the business?"

"Shit. That option is pretty much shot in the ass. Who wants a guy that only sees them fifty days a year, if that? Then there is the factor of girls who fuck other guys while you're on the road. It never seems to work out. In either case, no one seems to want to raise other women's kids these days. So outside family, I'm pretty much on my own being _mami_ and _papi_ to Mac and Kira."

"Well, I'm sure whatever the case may be, they will grow up to be young ladies that make you proud."

"I'm working on it," Paul nodded. "One thing about Spanky being with the other brand, he isn't around as often to try and corrupt the girls, especially Mac. Next to me, she thinks Brian is the second coming of the Messiah. One day with him means taking a whole week for me to settle her down afterwards. Then again, if he grew the right 'equipment' and wasn't already engaged, I'd propose."

Montana laughed heartily. "Would that even be possible?"

"May as well be. That's another thing, Montana; every chick I had been with, the girls didn't like them for some reason. Kira never said much, but Mac would make it clear each time to whatever woman I was with that they didn't measure up one way or another, if she didn't embarrass the shit out of me. Needless to say, my current relationships didn't last very long. The most recent one lasted about a month, I think."

"What about the one woman I see you with once in awhile?" Montana wondered. "She seems very nice."

"Shaun? Oh, she and I have been friends for about nine years; we just hang out once in awhile when she gets time off her own job. She's great to talk to, though. There was another friend I had awhile back, Anna, but we kind of fell out because of bullshit on my part and she hasn't spoken to me since. Kind of sucks, because I really cared about her and she and the girls really liked each other too. Like I said, I'm better off just being in my present situation. No drama, no bullshit. Just me and the two munchkins over there, at least till the end of summer."

Montana nodded, not knowing what to say. She gathered up her things to leave, thanking him for letting her spend time with his daughters.

"No, _thank you. _If you hadn't volunteered, I'd been screwed for the night and would had to take them to the arena, which we both know that backstage is no place for little girls."

"You aren't kidding," she agreed. "But if you need me another time, just let me know, all right? If I'm not too busy, I'll be happy to stay with them."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

A few weeks later, when Shaun had taken the girls to Chuck E Cheese and Montana had been working, Paul had gone to lunch with another longtime friend, Mariah Alan. She had been one of very few women on the ring crew, being as strong as the men and unaffected by the crude behavior of both them and the wrestlers.

She and Paul also shared a mutual close friend in Shaun, the film producer/screenwriter that was working on a film documentary about Paul.

She had met Paul back shortly before his debut and they had become friends almost immediately. Mariah liked his sweet, shy demeanor and that he seemed to have better manners than most of the guys.

What had really endeared Mariah was that even for a ring crew girl, he'd treated her like a lady and affectionately dubbing her "Mimi".

She had met Reggie a couple of times and found her to be a good mother to Mackenzie, who had been a toddler then, and baby Kira.

Mariah had been shocked at Reggie's sudden death; both she and Shaun made a point of attending Reggie's memorial service and offering comfort to the widower and the two tiny girls.

Then there had been the fallout with his close friend Anna, who had been considerably older than Paul, who still refused to speak to him. Mariah had no idea what had happened between the two, but with the usually patient and tolerant Anna suddenly cutting him out of her life, Mariah wondered what could have been so bad.

But now taking into consideration that Mac and Kira were growing up and the prospect of Anna being a surrogate mom to them now thrown out the window, both Mariah and Shaun made no bones about the girls needing a mother figure at every opportunity, though Mariah was a bit more aggressive and vocal about it.

Today was no exception.

"So what's this about you being chummy with Montana Hayes?" she asked casually.

Paul choked a little on his coffee. "Where did you hear this?"

"Honey, did you forget I'm on the ring crew? I hear it all from the boys, and unless you've lived in a cave the last several weeks, Donny was kind of sweet on Montana for awhile. Problem is, she doesn't date people she works with. And Spanky kind of filled us in too when they had that supershow last week."

"I should have known fucking Brian was in on this. Look, Mimi, Montana and I have gotten to be good friends, and she's been staying with Mac and Kira when I have matches. That's it. And for some reason, the girls are nuts about her."

"That's certainly unusual. Outside of me and Shaun, they all but practically chase women away from you."

"Yeah, imagine that. Thing is, they seem to be getting attached to Montana more than they'd done with you and Shaun. Mac was a bit disappointed that Montana wasn't taking them out this afternoon, though she didn't say it out loud. But she and Kira seemed all right when I told them Montana had to work and was coming to sit with them tonight when we have the show."

"If they're getting attached, it's a good sign. Maybe Daddy should get to know her better too, perhaps _without_ the girls."

"Mimi," Paul warned, "don't start again."

"Why not? You know I'm not letting up on your behind until you get a nice girl to be a mother to those sweet babies."

"You think I haven't tried? Just about all the chicks I've been around either want to get laid, use me as a springboard for their own careers, or for bragging rights that they dated or screwed me. Not exactly the material I had in mind for my daughters, thanks very much."

"Perhaps you need to look elsewhere besides divas and young girls," Mariah suggested. "One Ms. Hayes might be a good place to begin."

"You already said she doesn't date guys she works with, Mimi. If she won't even go out with some decent guy from the ring crew, what in the hell makes you think she'll bother with _me?"_

"There's part of your problem. You underestimate yourself, sunshine. Look, a blind man can see you're fond of Montana. What do you have to lose by asking her out to coffee? It's not like Shaun or I can't look after the girls while you take her out. Come on, you're talking to a person that baby-sat Spanky's _cat _for a week and lived to tell about it, not to mention stayed with those kids before. Honestly, will you die from asking her out? I'm not suggesting you propose to her, for Pete's sake!"

"Well, I have making an ass of myself and being a total dick down to a science," Paul joked.

"Knock it off; that isn't even funny," Mariah scolded. "You need a good woman in your life that loves those girls as much as you do. They need a mom figure, especially Kira. She never even knew Reggie. At least with some woman in their lives, they'll have a bit more stability. And no offense, but you aren't getting any younger either."

"Jesus, you sound like my _mami_ now," Paul sighed.

"And your _mami_ has some good sense. Honestly, if Spanky or even some of these big ugly dudes around here can find women, there's no reason why you can't."

"I can name two. Mackenzie and Kira. Not only do they hate everyone I've been out with, I haven't met a chick yet that even expressed a tiny bit of interest in helping me raise them."

"If you don't ask Montana out, you may miss an opportunity. The girls like her; you said so yourself."

He sighed. "All right, I'll ask her out for coffee. Happy now?"

"Thrilled," Mariah grinned. "And I have a feeling you won't regret it."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"I don't think your sitter is going to have much to do tonight," Shaun explained later. "Kira's sacked out on the bed and Mac's pretty close to it herself."

"Jesus, what did you do to those kids?" Paul asked laughingly.

"More like what they did to _me," _Shaun laughed back. "I think they had me all over that place, especially Mac. And how can a three year old practically down a whole pizza? Mac barely ate, but Kira had one hell of an appetite. Must take after Daddy!"

"So many have told me. I just hope they don't sleep too long, because they'll be up half the night otherwise."

"If they know Montana's coming, I seriously doubt it," Shaun nodded. "Of course, I don't think they'll be rowdy enough to drive her nuts anyway, even if they do wake up. But I got to say I think you may have gotten yourself a girl they actually _like_."

"Never mind," Paul said. "I just got that speech from Mimi over lunch today. Don't you even _think_ about starting on that too."

"I didn't have to. Mariah already told me you're planning to ask Montana out anyway."

"Jesus tap dancing Christ, is nothing sacred among you women?"

"Not as far as you're concerned, love," Shaun winked. "So when do you plan to ask for this big date?"

Paul raised an eyebrow. "For me to know and you two chicks to find out. My love life shouldn't be up as your favorite subject for discussion. _Oquela."_

"Be thankful it isn't your _sex life_," Shaun laughed. "Oh wait…."

"If you seriously value your life, Shaun, you wouldn't even think about going there. I get enough shit about that from Brian as it is."

"Anyway, I'm siding with Mariah on the fact those girls need a mom, or at least a woman closest to it. Someone who doesn't give a damn who or what you are, your status, your paycheck, or any of that. Look, Super Jock, you came close to having someone like that and you ended up blowing it. You got a second chance, this time being Montana; don't mess this one up too. She's a good lady."

"Thank you, Cupid Shaun. I will keep that in mind."

"Throw all the sarcasm you want, but I know I'm right. Mariah and I wouldn't ride your butt so much if we didn't love you, you know."

"Like you two have the corner market on love lives. Neither of you has ever been married, for one."

"No, but I've seen a lot of people with broken hearts. Think about it, Paul; you're looking in the wrong places for a mom figure for those baby girls. I'm with Mariah saying that you should give Montana a chance. The girls like her, and she isn't some stupid piece of trash out after who you are and what you have. Outside of a stiff kick in the butt, she's exactly what you need."

"Well, if you must know, I'm planning on asking Montana tonight if she'd like to go out for coffee sometime."

"Wow, _tonight? _You're working pretty quick there, big boy."

"It's just coffee, Shaun; I'm not proposing marriage or trying to get laid. Jesus."

She patted his shoulder. "In any case, keep us women informed on that, will you? For some strange reason, I think this one may actually work out for you."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Guys, come on; quit goofing off finish your dinner. I have to leave in about an hour and you two need baths yet," Paul said.

"You give me bath, _Papi," _Kira nodded.

"Kira, who else would be here to give you and Mac a bath?"

"Is Miss Montana coming to stay tonight?" Mac asked hopefully.

"Of course, since you practically wore Shaun out at Chuck E Cheese today," Paul laughed.

"**YES!" **the girls cried in unison.

"I never thought I'd see the day when you two would look forward to seeing the sitter as much as you do me coming back. What's the deal here? You don't even make this much fuss with Mimi and Shaun."

"They're okay," Mac shrugged, "but Miss Montana is a lot more fun. Kind of like a _mami."_

"Yeah," Kira nodded in agreement.

"And Miss Mariah said you're gonna ask Miss Montana out," Mac said with a huge grin.

_Holy hell, _Paul thought, _Mimi blabbed it even to the kids? Who **doesn't** know about this by now?_

"Uh…..yeah. Listen, Mac, don't get all excited about that, okay? First, it's not going to be a big hot date or anything, and second, Montana could say no."

"Who would say no to **you**, _Papi?" _Mac wondered.

"Contrary to the belief of certain little girls, many people," Paul answered.

Kira cleaned her plate, and then let out a loud belch.

Mac made a face at her sister. "Sissy, you're gross! Excuse yourself."

"Scuse me," Kira replied. "Sorry. But why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it?"

"Young lady, where did you get _that?" _Paul asked, raising an eyebrow. "I _know _it wasn't from any of the ladies."

"Uncle Spanky," Kira confessed.

"_Oquela. Sabes que, _I should have known better than to ask."

"Be thankful she didn't do it from the other end," Mac rolled her eyes. "Of course, he might have taught Sissy _that_ too."

"I think the next time we have a tri branded show, Uncle Spanky and I are going to have a long talk about his attempted corruption of my daughters," Paul said. "But right now, both of you need to get into the bathtub. _Consiga mover," _he added, pointing to the bathroom.

_About an hour later:_

Montana knocked gently on the door of Room 202, checking her watch to make sure she wasn't late and relieved to find she'd been right on time after all. Traffic had been horrible with both the show tonight and a county fair event both happening at the same time.

Mac had answered the door, and both she and Kira had gone on the attack upon spying Montana.

"Well! Talk about a warm welcome," she chuckled. "Where's your dad?"

"Peeing," Kira answered.

"Sissy!" Mac exclaimed. "Quit saying _Papi's _business."

"But she asked," Kira protested.

"You could've said he was in the bathroom, silly girl."

"Anyway," Montana interjected, "what would you girls like to do tonight?"

"Can we play Twister again?" Mac asked.

"If you like. Are you sure you girls aren't too tired from your outing this afternoon?"

"We had naps," Kira announced.

"Aha," Montana nodded before she spied Paul emerging from the bathroom.

"Oh good, you're here," he grinned. "As you can see, they're bathed and in pajamas, and they've been fed. The list of stuff is on the desk over there. The usual stuff, really."

"All right," she nodded. "I'm surprised I made it on time, considering the traffic. Between the demolition derby happening at that fair and your show tonight, it's murder out there. Be glad you don't have to go far."

"Which is why I'm leaving right now. I don't want my head on a platter for being late. Anyway, I hope you can stick around for a bit when I get back here, because I want to talk to you about something. I'll have a bit more time then."

"Sure, it isn't a problem," Montana replied.

"And don't let these two wear you out the way they did Shaun," he laughed.

"Right. Most likely, they'll be in dream land by the time you come back, just like the last few times. Don't worry, the girls will be fine. Just concentrate on doing a great match tonight."

As she saw the door close in front of her, Montana couldn't help but wonder what he wanted to discuss with her. For now, however, it was time to set up another round of Twister with two adorable little girls to whom she'd grown attached in spite of herself.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

The evening had gone without incident; the girls had gotten tired earlier than normal, which Montana had expected. They had had a long day, first with Shaun, and then with her while Paul had done his match and spent time with friends and fans afterwards.

It was funny; he had struck Montana as a fun loving person, but hardly appeared as a glib party guy most others on the roster were.

He never really stood out late, preferring to be with his daughters. He didn't partake in the smoking, drinking and never-ending cache of drugs that could be available. She couldn't think of a better father for Mackenzie and Kira. They were indeed lucky little girls to have him.

Kira had woken up crying a few hours later from a bad dream. Usually when this would happen, she would crawl into bed with Paul and cuddle before going back to sleep, but he wasn't here now, and besides, unbeknown to him, Montana had been working with Kira not to do such a thing anymore; she was getting too big to crawl into bed with her daddy.

Montana held the child and rocked Kira back to sleep before gently placing her back into bed beside Mac, who hadn't woken up the entire time, before she went back to reading the new book she had bought a few days before but never really got around to reading much.

Paul had finally arrived back at the room around midnight, and they had discussed how things had gone. Montana had filled him in on Kira waking up, but she was able to get the youngster back to bed not long after.

"She had _another_ one?" he asked.

"Yes, but she didn't tell me what it was about. Maybe she doesn't even know."

"I think I may have an idea. As you may know by now, Kira doesn't remember her _mami; _she was still a baby when Reggie died."

"Of course," Montana nodded. "But what does that have to do with her dreams?"

"Well, it's kind of a guess on my part, but I wonder sometimes if she thinks she and Mac are going to lose me too. Neither of them never really said it out loud, but the thought has crossed my mind, especially after Kira wakes up from those dreams and then comes and jumps in bed with me. I'll wake up the next day with her all but hanging on to me for dear life."

"I really needed to talk to you about that. You know, by allowing Kira to sleep on her own from a young age, even after she's had one of her bad dream, you'll teach her something that is essential for growth, and that she's an individual and she can do something without a parent."

"Okay, what do I do when she fusses after waking up from those dreams?" Paul wondered.

"Just what I did tonight. Show Kira love with hugs, kisses and warmth. Hold her close and allow her to cuddle up in your arms as you put her back to sleep, and once she does go back to sleep, put her back in her bed."

"You sure you never had kids? You certainly know a lot about them."

"I have lots of practice with my nephew. Logan is Mackenzie's age."

"Aha, I see. One would think being a dad for six years, I would have some kind of clue, but hell, sometimes I'm _still_ lost."

"Well, I'm sure raising girls can be hard on a dad by himself."

"Maybe. But they're good kids most of the time, so it isn't too much of a headache yet. Now when they're teenagers, I may run into some serious trouble."

"That's a good seven to ten years yet," Montana pointed out. "But anyway, what did you want to discuss with me?"

"_Huh?"_

"Is your memory that short?" she laughed. "Before you left for your match tonight, you said you wanted to talk to me about something when you got back."

"Oh yeah," Paul replied, suddenly remembering. "The whole thing with Kira got me off track, sorry. Anyway, there is something I want to ask. I know you don't date guys in the company, but uh, well….I kind of had in mind just a coffee thing and—"

"Yes," Montana cut him off.

"_What?"_

"Did I stutter? I said _yes_. Just name the day and time. I figure since you were kind enough to let my stay with the girls, one coffee outing with their father wasn't going to kill me."

"But I thought you—"

"Normally, I don't," she replied, "but for you, I'm willing to make an exception."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"Wait a minute," Mariah said the next morning, "are we talking about the same Montana Hayes here? The one I know has _never_ accepted a date from any man in this company–granted, she isn't any competition for the divas, but that is beside the point, and all of the sudden, she is going with _you_ for coffee?"

"Charm of the Londonator gets them every time," Paul grinned.

"Okay, either you gave her puppy eyes or fed her a line of bullshit. Which was it?"

"Uhhh…neither?"

"Yeah, and the Pope is Presbyterian too. Try again, PL."

"No, honest, Mimi; I just asked straight out. I said I knew she didn't ordinarily date co workers and shit like that, that it was only coffee, and she cut me off by saying yes before I could finish."

"Geez, that is a first."

"Yeah. Something about returning the favor for letting her stay with the girls."

"You know, word has it around these parts that she's really loving those kids. Then there is also the factor that though you can be eccentric at times, you don't fall into the categories of being completely insane, gay, married, involved, engaged, hung up on your mother or you're so fucked up, women in nursing homes or a one-legged blind chick wouldn't even take you."

"I may beg to differ on the completely insane part," Paul joked.

"Yeah, but I would like to think of that in a _good_ way," Mariah countered. "So when's the big coffee date?"

"Probably Friday. She's got a light schedule that day and said she could sneak some time in. Shaun said she could stay with the girls since it's her day off."

"Let's hope they don't wear her out like they did yesterday afternoon."

"Mimi, Mon and I are only planning to be gone for an hour or two. Jesus. How can the girls wear Shaun out in a short period of time?"

"We're discussing a six year old and a three year old. Do the math, Paul. Kids that age would wear Satan out in half an hour."

"Actually, that would be _Brian, _and he'd wear Satan out in fifteen minutes or less. Seriously, it should be a short date between Mon and me."

And it's _**Mon**_ now?"

He shrugged. "_Sabes que_; we've gotten friendly."

"In other words, you're crushing. Yep, I knew it. And don't deny it either, big boy; Ray Charles could see how you look at Montana, and he's not only blind, he's _dead."_

"Jesus, Mimi, you're acting like this is some big romance or something. She's been good to and with the girls, she actually took the time to get to know me, and it's pretty refreshing to have an _intellectual_ conversation with someone besides a bunch of bimbos who don't say much outside of "Do you have a rubber?" or chatter with a six and three year old that probably have no idea what I'm talking about."

"Oh, you're definitely far gone on this lady," Mariah nodded and grinned.

"Will you knock it off? _Oquela."_

Mariah squeezed his hand. "Honey, it's perfectly all right. As a lot of us have said before, those girls need a mother. They're going to be going back to school soon; at least send them home with some hope of that coming true after all this time. Reggie would have wanted it that way."

"Sure," Paul nodded, "but also remember it's going to take one hell of a woman to put up with the _three_ of us at once. Right now, let me get past this coffee date and I'll get back with you, provided I don't get a bunch of shit from Spanky first."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Friday afternoon, Montana gave herself the once over before Paul had come down to her room to pick her up once Shaun had arrived to stay with the girls.

She had pulled on jeans with a green cotton, short sleeved sweater that almost matched her eyes, wearing matching, lacy green bra and panties underneath. Montana felt a little naughty wearing them, but the bra was the only one that looked decent under her top.

Paul had been right on time eying her up briefly before they had headed off to Starbucks about four blocks from the hotel. There was plenty of time to chat; it was still early in the day and Montana wasn't needed for anything the rest of the afternoon. The girls were safe with Shaun, and the desk staff also had his contact information for an emergency.

In the period she had known him, however, Montana had been developing feelings for him that she had never felt for any other man. She had held them inside; first off, she was six years older than he was, and two, hardly the gorgeous diva type at five feet three and now about 160 pounds, her dark brown hair slightly shorter than his own shoulder length hair.

Still, she found Paul fun to be around and though he could be a pain in the ass at times, Montana loved his goofiness. Most of all, she admired his ability to be a wonderful father to Mackenzie and Kira in spite of his circumstances. She'd seen two-parent families fall down on the job a lot worse.

He had opened up to her about Reggie, how it hadn't really been serious until she'd gotten pregnant with Mac. They had gotten deeper feelings for one enough during her early pregnancy and had been married only months before Mac was born.

"Not exactly how I envisioned getting married, especially at a young age, but what can I do? Besides, Reg and I really loved each other at that point," he added.

Paul then talked about Reggie's unexpected death and the cause. Montana felt terrible; how could an apparently healthy young woman die so unexpectedly and something showing up _after_ her death?

"I guess Reggie either never knew something was wrong, did know and didn't want to tell me, or it just wasn't diagnosed at all," he shrugged.

He had taken Mac with him on the road, leaving baby Kira with his parents until she was toilet trained and old enough to travel. Once Mac had started school, both girls were left with his parents during the school year, and spent summers with him.

_Well that explains why Kira is so clingy at times, _Montana thought.

"But enough of my depressing bullshit," he said. "In the time we've known each other, I have yet to hear much about you."

Montana nodded, discussing how her parents had met at the Dairy Queen where her mother had worked at the time. Her mother had been eighteen, her father twenty four at the time. He had worked at a nearby mill while training to be a boxer. A year later, Naomi Solomon had married Jack Hayes, and Montana's brother, Sylvester (known later as Sly), had been born shortly after her mother had turned twenty. Jack was twenty-six and had just begun to box full time on the amateur circuit, making a name for himself and being tapped for the Olympics.

Five years later, at a match in Helena, Montana, Jack Hayes had gotten his first big championship. Naomi had gone into labor earlier that day and Jack had been informed after his match that his wife had given birth to a healthy baby daughter. In celebration of his championship and his little girl's birth, Jack had christened her Montana Naomi.

When Montana was three and Sly eight, Jack was about to turn professional when he and Naomi were heading back from Las Vegas, where Jack had fought his last amateur show. The kids had been staying with their grandparents at the time, and Jack was eager to see them.

A group of kids returning from an after-prom party had come around the turn at a high rate of speed, colliding head on with Jack and Naomi's car before Jack had had a chance to react. Naomi had died of her injuries in the emergency room­–as had one of the occupants of the other car only minutes before–and though he would survive, Jack suffered devastating injuries that would end the promise of a professional boxing career.

Though he would win both a wrongful death suit for Naomi dying from the injuries she'd sustained in the accident as well as a considerable settlement for his own permanent injuries, Jack Hayes refused to be bitter, eventually forgiving the driver of the other car. He had also saved most of the proceeds from both lawsuits to send Sly and Montana to college.

Though he could no longer box, and not having many options for employment that would accommodate his limitations, he tried for a job with the US Postal Service and secured a position sorting mail. Soon, though he would never carry mail because of his disabilities, Jack was promoted to being a window clerk, and within fifteen years with the branch, had moved up the ranks to being the top person–the Postmaster himself–all before the age of fifty.

When Jack was made postmaster, Montana had been eighteen and a senior in high school, while Sly was twenty three, a college graduate and gotten a good job as an investment banker. He had studies finance and economics in college, where he also played football. Sly had the promise of an NFL career, but an injury during his senior year had blown out Sly's knee. Like his father, Sly had turned a negative into a positive; in addition to his job, he volunteered as a coach for a youth football team.

Sly met his wife, Tasha Drew, at the firm where he had worked. Tasha had been one of the receptionists, and the petite, ebullient blond immediately drew his attention. They had married eighteen months later, and after several years of being childless, Tasha gave birth to their son, Logan.

Sly had also moved Jack in with him, Tasha, and Logan once Montana had moved out and gotten her own job with WWE; in additon to the close relationship they had had over the years, Sly knew his father couldn't keep up the large house where he and Montana had grown up, and he also knew Jack wasn't getting any younger. The thought of his dad being alone made Sly desolate, and he helped Jack sell the house, with Jack wisely investing the proceeds on Sly's good advice.

Jack and Montana had both doted on Logan; though she hadn't had any children of her own, she loved kids and Sly had also encouraged Logan to spend as much time with both his aunt and grandfather as he could, stressing that at any day, they could be gone.

Jack had recently turned sixty five, and though his health had not been as good recently, he was still cheerful and never let up nagging on Montana about when she was going to find a husband and give him another grandchild. She would only laugh and say that would only happen when she'd found a man worthy enough of both her and the men she already had in her life—her father, big brother, and her nephew.

Paul had sat back and pondered all of this. "Now I really know why you clicked with the girls almost right away," he nodded. "You've been down that route."

Montana nodded. "I was the age Kira is now when I lost my mom. Daddy did date some a few years later, but he never got married again. No one measured up to Mama as far as he was concerned. Of course," she giggled, " Daddy does have a lady friend now, someone he worked with at the post office before he retired. Sly and I tease him about it all the time, but truth be told, Dotty is good to him."

"Wow," he said, "taking that into consideration, there's hope for _me_ yet."

She laughed. "You're barely twenty-eight; you have practically the rest of your life, not to mention those beautiful little girls."

"Yeah, well, those 'beautiful little girls' have put a kink in my love life more times than I can count."

"They just want you happy, Paul," she replied. "I think most kids tend to have an idea that _no one _is good enough for their parents. Add to that those girls are crazy about their daddy."

"I kind of got that part," he nodded. "Now if I could get Mac to keep her mouth closed at the opportune times, I may be set yet."

"That and you need to quit being so picky."

"What?"

"Look, not to butt in or anything, but I'm saying this because I care. Outside of Shaun and Mariah, and they're good friends of yours, let's be honest here. I can see why the girls don't like some of the women you'd gone out with. To be honest, a lot of them give off the impression to me of being opportunists that either used you for career advancement, kind of a note in their day planners to brag to their friends about sleeping with you, your name and status, or anything else they could siphon out of you. They don't see you as a _person, _which is what you really need, and more importantly, they don't realize Mackenzie and Kira play a large role in your life too."

He nodded in agreement. "You're right on the money, Mon, because I've been thinking the same thing. And no matter what woman comes in my life, the rule stands that if they're going to love me, they have to love my daughters. Mac and Kira will always be first in my life."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

It wasn't supposed to happen, but it did. As it would turn out, the rest of the day wasn't supposed to happen like it did.

It had begun with a kiss on the cheek from Paul when they'd gotten to Montana's room. A simple cheek kiss had become a few more quick kisses, then one passionate kiss. And the next thing Montana had known, they were in bed.

"You know, I'm not exactly the type of peson who usually has sex on the first date," she said once they had finished.

"Uh….yeah, I guess that kind of just happened," he replied, blushing a little. "But…I've been kind of attracted to you for awhile, and well….."

"So I get coffee and sex as a result." Montana giggled a little.

"What? Was it _that_ bad?"

"No! Of course not. Actually…." she paused, "….it was some of the best I ever had."

"No shit?" Paul asked. "I'm really not that good; I usually mess something up. It's a joke around the locker room."

"No shit. And the jokers probably secretly _wish_ they were you. What juveniles." Montana had to chuckle again.

"Shit," Paul said, realizing something. "Speaking of juveniles, I better get back upstairs to the girls before Shaun calls security and forms a search party. I told her I'd be back in a couple of hours, and it's past that already. Not that I'm usually the fuck and leave type, but you know…."

"Of course; it's perfectly all right. Do you want me to go with you?" she asked, watching him get dressed.

"No, just stay here and relax for awhile. You might need to recover before you stay with the girls tonight." He gave her a sly wink and a quick kiss.

"Okay," Montana nodded. "I'll be up about six thirty."

_Several minutes later:_

Paul arrived at the room he shared with Mac and Kira, sliding the key card through the slot and the door opened.

He was both shocked and annoyed what he saw next; the room had been a total disaster, toys, games, drinking cups, junk food wrappers, and what appeared to be soda cans everywhere. He wondered where the hell Shaun was, as this wasn't like her at all to let the girls just go nuts and make a mess like this. Moreover, Shaun _knew_ not to let the girls have soda and junk so close to dinner time.

He finally spotted his older daughter coming from the bathroom.

"Mac, what's with this mess? And where's Shaun?"

"Miss Shaun got called to work and had to leave, _Papi," _Mac explained.

"And she left you guys here _alone? _Do you have any idea how much trouble _I_ can get into for that?"

"Uh uh. Uncle Spanky's here."

_Well, that certainly explained the room looking like an atom bomb dropped in it, _Paul thought.

Paul let out a groan. "Fucking hell. She couldn't have asked Mimi or called me to say she had to leave?"

"Miss Mariah is up at the arena working," Mac shook her head. "And Miss Shaun didn't want to interrupt you with Miss Montana."

"So instead she took the more of the two evils and called Spanky. Nice."

Kira praddled in holding a can. "Hi, _Papi!" _she said cheerfully."You're back!"

"Yes, I'm back. And what have I told you girls about having no soda before dinner?"

"Ain't soda," Kira shook her head. "It's beer." She let out a small belch.

"_WHAT? _Give me that!" Paul took the can from her. "This is definitely something little girls should _not _be drinking at all."

"Why not? It's good. Uncle Spanky drank some."

"**BRIAN DAVID, GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!" **Paul bellowed.

"Hey, Papa, didn't see you roll in," Brian grinned. "So how was the hot date?"

"It was perfectly fine before I came in here and saw the room looked like it had a bomb dropped in it and my three year old drinking beer." He held up the offensive can with a scowl.

Brian took the can. "I wondered where that thing was. I went out for a smoke, came in when you started yelling, and saw my beer gone."

"Okay, dude? It's bad enough Shaun had to get you of all people up here to stay with these two, but from now on, I'm laying down the law when you _do_ stay with them. One, don't bring fucking beer or any other booze of your liking in here. You if anyone knows how I feel about people drinking around kids. Second, the girls are _never_ to get junk food or soda before dinner. No exceptions. Third, if you're going to smoke, either take Kira out with you or wait till both of them are taking a nap. And lastly," Paul added sternly, "I shouldn't have to come back to my own room looking like an accident that just happened. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah. Jesus, you're boring."

"And you're almost thirty years old and about to get married. Grow the hell up already. If you want your kids to load up on junk and beer and smoke till their lungs are black, that's your prerogative. But you're not pulling that shit with _my _daughters."

"All right, PL, I got you. No junk and Pepsi before dinner, and no booze in the room. I'll even try not to have a smoke as often."

"And when you do smoke, cigarettes better be all you're doing around these two."

"Jesus, dude, come on; I may have my wild side, but do you honestly think I'm going to do a fatty around _kids? _Cut me a break."

"What's a fatty?" Mac asked.

"Never mind," Paul replied. "We'll discuss that another time. Right now, you and your sister are going to clean up this mess. And I better not see anything like this again, young lady. _Comprenda?"_

Mac nodded. "We understand, _Papi."_

"As for you," he turned back to Brian. "I'll see you later. And you better be sobered up by the show tonight because I'm not about to cover your ass again."

"Not drunk in the first place, dude. Just a little buzz, but it will be worn off by then."

"Good. And remember the rules the next time you stay with these two."

"Sure, I shall keep them in mind the next time you go on a hot date. But remember, you owe me details later."

"The only thing I owe you is kicking your ass in the ring tonight," Paul replied. "And this gave me more motivation."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"Can I tell you a secret?" Kira whispered to her sister.

"Sissy!" Mac scolded, "we have to go to sleep. You know _Papi_ will get mad when he comes back and sees we are still up."

"I still got a secret," Kira grinned.

Mac rolled her eyes, figuring it some silly thing only little kids like Kira came up with. "What is it?"

"I saw 'Tana and _Papi_ kissing!"

Mac sat up, now interested. "When was this?"

"Before he left," Kira nodded. "And it was a _big_ kiss!"

"Oh wow," Mac said dreamily. "I hoped _Papi_ would love her!"

"Me too!" Kira cheered. "You think she could be our new _mami, _Mac?"

"I don't know, Sissy. But it sure would be cool is Miss Montana was."

"Girls?" Montana called from the other room. "Time to sleep. No more talking."

They huddled under the covers, giggling.

"You think she'll kiss him when he gets back?" Kira whispered.

"Maybe," Mac whispered back, "but we might be sleeping by then."

"Girls, sleepy time," Montana reminded them again.

"See?" Mac said. "We gotta go to sleep now before _Papi_ gets back or he'll be mad and Miss Montana in trouble."

"Okay," Kira nodded, "but I wish we could see them kiss again!"

_Later that night:_

The girls had been long asleep by the time Paul returned to the room, looking exhausted.

"My God," Montana said sympathetically, "you look like death warmed over."

"Thanks, baby; if you had to battle seven other guys, six of them way bigger than you, you'd look like this too."

"I didn't say it to be mean," she responded, rubbing his shoulders. "I take it you didn't win this one either."

"Shit. I was the fifth dude tossed out. And I do this again _why?"_

"Because you are living the dream you had since you were eleven," Montana reminded him.

"Oh, right. So how were the girls tonight after today's fiasco with Spanky? By the way, the little fucker got tossed out first tonight, so in a way, I _did _kick his ass."

"Eliminated first? Ouch. Anyway, Mac and Kira were fine. I had to nag them a few times to go to sleep, but other than that, just another girls' night in."

"You know, you guys don't have to stay in the room all the time. You can take them out once in awhile if you want."

"Oh we did go out for dinner earlier, but I'm not usually comfortable taking other people's children too many places in a strange city."

He patted her thigh. "Don't be so overprotective, Mon. They're used to 'strange cities' by now, trust me."

"All right, but I don't want to feel responsible if God forbid, something should happen to one or both of them. And don't worry, Kira won't be drinking any beer either."

"Well thank God she didn't have any sick effects from that shit or I'd kicked Spanky's ass to hell and back for sure."

"I'm sure she didn't drink that much where it really mattered. She was fine all evening, ate like a little piggy and even wrestled on the floor with Mac before they got too rough and I had to break it up."

"Hmmmm, and to think you didn't to have any fun," Paul said, rubbing her leg gently. "How about since the short ones are asleep, we have a little match of our own on the bed over there?"

"Oh right, so I can have every bone in my body broken by a man eight inches taller than I am and outweighs me by at least thirty pounds? No thanks."

He came up and kissed her. "I promise I'll be gentle this time."

_About a half hour later:_

Kira woke up, hearing strange noises before nudging her sister awake.

"Sissy, what is it now?" Mac groaned.

"I hear noise," Kira replied. "I'm scared."

Mac sat up. "Yeah, now that you said it, so do I. Maybe _Papi_ can take care of it and beat up whoever is making the noise. Stay here; I'll go get him."

"Okay," Kira said before hiding back under the covers.

Mac had been gone for several minutes before she returned to the room, giggling.

"Did _Papi_ get who was making the noise?" Kira asked, still nervous.

"Silly girl," Mac replied, still giggling, "that was just him and Miss Montana wrestling under the blankets!"


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"Oh no," Montana said lowly once they had finished making love.

"What?" Paul asked.

"I thought I heard the girls."

"Oh God," he groaned. "You don't think they heard _us, _did you?"

"I don't know; you were grunting pretty loud there for awhile."

"Yeah, like _you_ were ever quiet during sex."

"Hey, you're loud enough to wake the dead," Montana countered laughingly.

"Anyway," Paul cleared his throat, "I think there _are_ some little ears awake."

He grabbed his boxers from the floor beside the bed and slid them on and then tossed her one of his shirts. "On the off chance Kira comes in here, we better be at least half decent."

"Uh…yes. Not a bad idea, now that you mentioned it." She put on the shirt and her panties.

Right on time, a small tap came to the door before Kira peeked in. _"Papi?"_

"Yeah, short stuff?" he responded, taking a gulp of water from a bottle by the bed.

"Who won the match?" Kira asked.

Paul and Montana looked at each other, slightly confused.

"What match?" he asked.

"Mac says you and 'Tana were rasslin' under the blankets."

Paul nearly choked on the water he'd been drinking and Montana broke out laughing.

"It was a draw, sweetheart," Montana chuckled. "Nobody won."

Paul could barely contain himself. "And I nearly pinned her too. She's slick."

Kira pointed to the shirt Montana was wearing. "That's _Papi's."_

"Yes, and tonight they're _her_ pajamas," Paul said.

Kira lit up. "She's staying?"

"Of course, since she's already been here awhile anyway."

"Why she sleep with _you?"_

"Because the couch isn't comfortable for sleeping and nosy little girls don't need to know anyway. Now go back to bed; we have an early flight tomorrow."

"You put me to bed?" Kira asked.

He sighed and got up. "Okay, kiddo, but this time you have to stay there. Got it?"

"Okay."

Paul was gone for several minutes; Montana heard giggling coming from the girls' room and figured he was probably making some joke, goofy face at them or something along those lines.

"All right, now go to sleep, both of you," she finally heard him say. "I don't need two crabby girls on the plane tomorrow. _Dormirse. Comprende?"_

"_Sí, Papi," _they said in unison. _"Buenas noches."_

"_Buenas noches, mis hermosas chicas."_

"I didn't know they really knew Spanish," Montana said when he came back.

"Not very much yet," he replied. "I've been teaching them. Better to start them young. It would be beneficial for them to grow up bilingual like I did. Besides," he grinned, "some women think it's sexy."

"Women think teaching your daughters Spanish is sexy?"

He laid back and laughed. "No, they think it's hot when _I_ speak it."

"Aha," Montana nodded, not even about to go there. She'd gotten plenty of what she presumed as dirty Spanish words growled in her ear during sex. It _was_ hot, but even if she hadn't understood what was said, Montana wasn't about to show what a turn on it had been. No use feeding the male ego more than she had to.

"Did I ever tell you about the time I got a call from Mac's teacher when she was in kindergarten?"

"No, what?" Montana wondered.

"Well, apparently Mac had been talking to a few kids and threw in some Spanish, and the teacher got her panties in a bunch. Next thing I knew, I was getting a phone call from Austin about the 'inappropriate languge' my older daughter was using. I had to explain to the chick that was Mac had been saying were Spanish words. Jesus, you'd think she'd known better considering how many Mexican kids go to school there."

"Maybe she was new," Montana shrugged.

"Who the hell knows? Frankly, I'm thinking about home schooling them after Mac finishes out the coming school year. I mean, they teach kids all kinds of shit they aren't going to use in real life anyway. For example, who the fuck is going to use information about what the Indians did? I've been out of school ten years and have yet to use it."

"Or algebra," Montana added. "I have yet to use mine and I almost flunked it."

"Ahh, see? Somebody who finally gets what I am saying. That's just it, though. They teach kids all kinds of bullshit they never use in life. Sure it's good to learn things like basic math and how to spell and read, but who gives a shit about the ancient ruins unless you do it for a career? What these kids need taught are real world skills, which is why I want to home school the girls."

"Paul, you're gone almost 300 days a year. How are you going to home school two little girls?"

"I'll find a way. At least if they get home schooled, they'll not only learn something decent and useful, but I also don't have to worry about them being shot over their shoes. It's fucking ridiculous worrying about whether or not Mac makes it through a school day. Christ, this past year was pure hell."

"Then why did you re-enroll Mac for second grade and put Kira in preschool?"

"_Mami_ offered to pay for Catholic educations. Though I hear Catholic schools are much better, I'm still not sure if Mac will be taught right. I want these girls to have some decent skills for college, you know?"

"Speaking of college, _you_ never finished," Montana pointed out.

"Okay, go ahead and rub my nose in the fact that you got your degree and I didn't. Jesus."

"I wasn't rubbing it in. You have thirty credits left. If Mickie can take online classes, why can't you consider that? Wasn't one of your majors elementary education?"

"Yeah, and theater. Keep in mind Mickie doesn't have kids either. And if you really want to rag on someone, remember Spanky _barely_ finished high school. I think they gave him his diploma because they felt sorry for him."

"Paul, that's terrible. He's not all that stupid."

"Wait, you're telling me it's all an _act?"_

"Rest assured he had no problems comprehending his contract when he signed the thing. Brian may act like he has a few loose screws, but between you and me, I think there's a mastermind hiding under there."

"Not to mention he's the weirdest dude anyone's ever encountered."

He then took her in his arms. "Right now, though, I think it's time for us to get lessons in getting some sleep. Keep in mind, though, it's going to take some getting use to having a warm body beside me again that isn't under five years old."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

"Want to go to the match tonight?" Paul asked the next morning. "You already said you're off the next couple of days."

"Well, yes I am, but who's going to watch the girls?" Montana wondered.

"Shaun started her vacation today and she volunteered."

"That's not a very good way to start one's vacation."

"Actually, it was _she_ that suggested you and I spend some alone time together tonight. And I had to agree, being I want to show off my new love."

"And you'll probably get a lot of crap for it, being you've stepped down from a few hot divas and models to an average secretary."

"Average secretary, my ass. Besides, half of those assclowns think skinny-ass girls who have no curve to them are the norm and perfect standard. They need to see what a _real_ woman looks like."

"Maybe their idea of 'real women' aren't exactly the same as yours."

"Obviously. You should see some of the skanks they pick up. Jesus. Then again, I guess anything looks good when a person's had a few too many."

"Beer goggles," Montana nodded.

"Huh?"

"When anything looks good when a person's drunk. It's called beer goggles."

"For someone that doesn't go out much, you sure know a hell of a lot."

"Just a few things left over from college days. Of course, _I_ was the one that looked good when people had the beer goggles. When I did go along, it was to make my pretty friends look even hotter."

"What a crock of shit. And you went along with that?"

"Well….I was eighteen, raised without a mother from the time I was three, and away from home for the first time. I didn't know any better. I didn't even have sex until…..until I was twenty, and that was even with a drunk guy from a club. May I add that it was lousy and I didn't sleep with anyone else for a long time after that."

"Until….yesterday and last night?" Paul wondered.

"Something like that," Montana blushed. "But about five years before that."

"Not to sound like a dick, but how does a woman go without getting laid for _five years?"_

"Because we aren't men that think about it twenty four hours a day," she joked, playfully grabbing his ass.

"Hey!"

"Wow, Brian was right; you _do_ have a nice ass. Tight and round. Beautiful."

"Great, now my woman gets into discussions with my best friend about my ass." Paul rolled his eyes.

"Among other things," Montana grinned.

"I don't _even_ want to know. So anyway, you want to go tonight?"

"Why not, since Shaun has the girls covered, and to be honest, I don't get many opportunities to see the shows themselves."

"Exactly my point, baby; if you're going to be with the Londonator, you have to see what I do."

"Hmm," she teased, "and what if I don't want to be with him?"

He playfully grabbed her waist. "You're stuck with me anyway."

_Later:_

"Okay, I don't think I have to run down everything with you again, right?" Paul asked Shaun.

"Gee, I don't know," Shaun replied, laughing. "You've told me about one hundred times no junk food or soda before dinner, bedtime is at nine thirty, no drinking around the kids, have them keep the noise down, and if I need to leave, call Mariah, unless your match is already over, then call you. Gotcha."

"And for the love of Christ, if you can't get Mariah, do **NOT** call Spanky this time. I know this is a tri-branded show and he'll probably be done before I am, but—"

"I'll call _Kayleigh," _Shaun interjected. "Will you quit worrying, _Guapo?"_

"It's my job to worry. They're my daughters, remember?"

"How can one forget? You just concentrate on your match and giving Montana a good time afterwards. I have everything covered here."

"Thanks, Shaun, I knew I could count on you."

_At the arena:_

"Oh no," Montana shook her head when she spied Paul coming out of the locker room.

"What?" he asked.

"You're _still_ wearing those baggy shorts and goofy Nike shoes?"

"Yeah, so?"

"That look is hideous. I can't believe you're in those relics from when you and Brian were a tag team. They redid his look, why not yours?"

"You sit in on meetings once in awhile, why not ask _them?"_

"Because I usually just take the minutes. Seriously, you look like a jobber. No offense."

"Uhhh…maybe because I have been lately? And none taken."

"You need some new shorts, preferably ones that show off your ass. Kind of like the light green ones you wore a few years ago in a picture that I saw."

"Jesus, you could see my balls in those things. And you do know that I need something to move in while I'm out there, right?"

"Of course. But _anything_ is better that that atrocity you have on now. I think the next time I sit in on something, I'm bringing up getting you a makeover."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"Sorry you had to see me job yet again," Paul sighed later that night after the show was over. "I've been doing a lot of that since the split."

"But you got in some good offense," Montana replied. "It wasn't like you laid there and took it."

"Yeah, the one thing you'll never see me do is that. Did you by any chance check in with Shaun?"

Montana nodded. "The girls are fine and long asleep. And last I saw Brian, he was headed to some hole in the wall diner."

"Thank God."

"Come on, Paul, you worry way too much."

He gestured at his street clothes. "So how about _this _look? Is it hideous too?"

"Actually," she smiled, "that's totally _you_. Not too boring, but not too goofy either."

"Ahh, finally the seal of approval from my Montana. Were you really serious about bringing up me getting a new look?"

"Absolutely, but I wouldn't guarantee anything. I seriously doubt anyone would take imput of secretaries into consideration, especially concerning the talent."

"But it's worth a shot, right?"

"When it especially comes to _you? _Yes. Anyone else I may have wavered on it."

"Wow, I feel special."

"You should," Montana said with a grin, "especially since Daddy wants to meet you."

"_Huh?!" _Paul was in total shock.

"I just talked to Daddy a couple of nights ago to catch up. I told him about you and the girls and he wants to meet you."

"O-kay then…." He raked a hand through his hair.

"I presume you don't want to meet my father," she said, her expression changing.

"Of course I do, Mon; it's just that….I usually don't have good experiencs with meeting parents."

"Trust me, Daddy doesn't bite. He knows what you do and is perfectly fine with it. He says any man that can mix it up in a ring­–whether it would be boxing or wrestling–with guys that are almost twice their size are certainly right up his alley."

Paul perked up. "No kidding?"

"To quote Daddy verbatim, 'Now that sounds like my kind of fellow.' I think he likes you already and you two haven't even met yet."

"Wow. A girl's dad actually liking me before we meet. That's a new one."

"Daddy likes a lot of people. I would like to think that was the main reason he was so loved and respected when he was postmaster and people hated to see him retire."

"So what about your brother?" Paul wondered.

"What about him?" Montana asked back.

"What's he think about all of this?"

"To be honest? I don't think Sly cares one way or another unless you were beating on women. Then he would have serious issues with you."

"Sounds like you have one interesting family."

"So does this mean you'll go with me to meet Daddy?" Montana asked hopefully.

"_Sabes que, _why not? I've been through worse and survived. Yeah, let's find a good day to go before I have to send the girls home for school."

_Meanwhile:_

"Mackenzie, what are you doing up?" Shaun asked. "You know Daddy won't be happy to come back here and find you girls still awake."

"Kira had one of her dreams," Mac explained. "And she peed our bed. I took her to the bathroom to clean her up and put her on _Papi's _bed."

"Oh dear," Shaun sighed. "I'll call the desk to get some dry sheets. Is Kira all right now?"

"Uh huh. I think sometimes she dreams about _Papi _getting hurt and going to heaven with _Mami."_

"Poor child. She need not worry, though; your dad knows what he's doing and in all these years, he's never been hurt too seriously."

"Yeah," Mac nodded. "I think she's too little to know that, though."

"I would guess so, sweetie. Let me call for those sheets."

Shaun dialed the front desk, explaining the situation, before nodding and hanging up. "They should be up in a few minutes, then I'll change your bed. Okay?"

"Thanks," Mac smiled. "Miss Shaun?"

"Yes, Mackenzie?"

"Do you think _Papi _would marry Miss Montana?"

Shaun chuckled. "Honey, your daddy and Montana have only been together a very short time. Hardly enough time to think about getting married."

"I think he should!"

"Well, to be honest, little one, I think that would be a decision your daddy should make. Getting married is a big step, and they really should be together a little longer first before thinking about such a thing."

"_Papi's _been by himself too long," Mac said, "and he went out with a lot of stupid girls before Miss Montana. Me and Kira like her and we think _Papi_ likes her too. _A lot."_

"Perhaps he does," Shaun nodded and smiled. "But you must remember people that like each other 'a lot' don't always get married."

A knock at the door interrupted them. "Those must be your dry sheets," Shaun told her. "Now let's change your bed and get you little ones back in it before your daddy comes back. It's way past your bedtime anyway."

"Yeah," Mac nodded, "but I still think _Papi_ should marry Miss Montana."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"_Papi."_

"Geez, it's five thirty; what are you girls doing up already?" Paul asked groggily the next morning. "We don't have to be out of here until after twelve."

"I had to pee," Kira announced.

"You're old enough to use the bathroom by yourself, little bit. Have Mac take you in and help you onto the potty."

"I already go!"

"And we're bored," Mac added.

"Go back to sleep then. Damn, it isn't even daylight yet and I'm still tired."

It was true; Paul _was_ tired; not only from the match the night before, but also the two hours of intense marathon sex that had followed once they had gotten back to Montana's room. Of all the times he'd slept with women, she had to be the wildest and hottest lover he'd ever had and couldn't get enough of her. Hell, Montana had been basically the first woman to wear _him_ out in bed.

"Can we sleep with you?" Kira finally asked.

"Girls, come on, you're getting too big for that," he protested.

"Miss Montana sleeps with you when she stays and she's bigger than us," Mac said.

"Montana isn't one of my kids," Paul replied.

"And you rassle with her under the blankets," Kira added.

He put a pillow over his head and groaned. "_Oquela. _You girls are just too damn nosy."

"_Por favor, Papi?" _they begged.

Paul sighed and figured a few hours wouldn't hurt. Good thing he had his boxers on.

He pulled back the covers and nodded. "_Sí, mis niñas_. But you need to go back to sleep."

"_Papi?" _Mac asked quietly.

"What now, Mac?"

"Can Miss Montana go home with us?"

"Actually, she is going with us, but we aren't going home. It's a special trip."

"Where we going?" Kira asked.

"If I told you guys, it wouldn't be very special."

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?" they both cried.

"No. Seriously, go back to sleep. You'll find out this afternoon."

_Later that morning:_

"House looks great," Jack Hayes said approvingly.

"Thanks, Jack," Tasha replied, giving her father in law his breakfast. "So I'm presuming you're excited about Montana coming today?"

"Not just my little girl," he glowed. "She's bringing a new fellow in her life with her too."

Tasha perked up. "Moni finally has a boyfriend?"

"Yep. One of those wrestling fellows. Sounds pretty decent. He's got two little ones of his own."

"Oh, is he divorced?" Tasha asked.

"No, he lost his missus too. The younger one was just a baby, according to Montana. Anyway, seems this fellow of hers has been raising those little girls by himself since."

"How does a man raise two little girls without a mom?"

"The same way I raised Montana and her brother," Jack nodded. "It isn't an easy job, but we men always manage. Lucky for me, she and Sly weren't much of a handful."

"Well, I have to give respect to single parents," Tasha agreed. "I rather get a taste of it sometimes with Logan when Sly is away on business. I couldn't imagine doing that all of the time. To be honest, I'll be glad when school starts. And how old are these man's children anyway? Did Moni tell you?"

Jack nodded. "The older girl is six and the little one three."

"My goodness, that poor man."

"Actually, Montana says they're good girls, and that the older one is pretty smart and grown up for her age. I was thinking she'd make a good playmate for Logan while they were here."

"So what's the story behind Moni and this guy?"

"Evidently they knew each other in passing for a bit, then got to talking one day. He was in a bind to get someone to sit with the kids while he did a show. Well, you know the generous soul my Montana is, always wanting to help, so she volunteered to stay with them. It seemed she hit it off with those little ones and been helping to look after them since."

"Sounds like she eventually hit it off with their daddy too."

"Absolutely," Jack nodded. "Who knows, she might be an instant mama one of these days."

"Jack, you are determined to marry that girl off and for her to be a mother, aren't you? Keep in mind she's probably known this guy only a short while."

"She ain't getting any younger and neither am I. I'd like more grandchildren than just Logan, you know."

"Moni's only thirty four. She has the rest of her life."

"That's another thing I forgot to mention. Her fellow is only twenty eight."

"Moni snagged herself a _younger man? _And you're all for this?"

"Age is only a number, sweetheart. Remember, I got ten years on Dotty. Hell, if neither she nor this fellow got a problem with age things, why should I care?"

"I just hope Sly is as understanding when his sister and her new boy toy show up today."

"He'll just have to deal with it. The important thing is that this fellow is good to my daughter. Otherwise, there _will_ be a problem. He won't have to worry as much about this old man here as he would about Sylvester."

"And I'm sure Sly will have no problem putting him in his place. But I'm sure being a father himself, he'll more than likely treat Moni like a princess, if he isn't already. And if she's happy, then that's what really counts."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Paul paced nervously around the airport as Montana and the girls sat and watched him. They had been waiting for Tasha to pick them up once they arrived from Youngstown.

"Will you sit down?" she finally asked him while cuddling Kira in her lap. "You're making _me_ nervous."

"Sorry. I'm just…you know…kind of worried about how I'm going to come off to your dad and brother. And why didn't you say something about them only living two hours from me?"

"You'll be fine, trust me. Daddy's excited about meeting you. As for them living so short a time from you, I didn't think it was that important."

"O-kay then." He gave a deep sigh.

"Paul, really, just calm down. My family won't bite; be assured of that much. If anything, I think Logan's more excited about meeting you than Daddy is."

"Who's Logan?" Mac asked, eyebrows knitting.

"My nephew," Montana answered. "He's seven."

"A _boy?" _Mac wrinkled her nose.

"Last time I checked," Montana chuckled.

"Ewwwwwww!"

"Mac, geez, that's kind of rude," Paul said.

"It's quite all right," Montana smiled and nodded. "Most six year old girls have the same reaction to boys and vice versa. They aren't all like _you_, checking the opposite sex out at a young age. You were probably one of those naughty boys trying to get peeks up a girl's dress at the playground."

"Ewwwwwwww, _Papi!" _Mac cried. "That's gross!"

"I will have both of you know that I was a perfect gentleman that didn't even get with a girl for anything naughty till I was _sixteen."_

"Mmmm hmmm. And I'm sure if I talk to either of your parents one of these days, they will beg to differ," Montana teased.

"_Papi_ was bad," Mac giggled. "He crouched on top of the refrigerator once and scared Grandpa."

"Paul!" Montana cried. "What a terrible thing to do to your father."

"What the hell is this, Gang Up On and Torture Paul Day? Jesus, I was a little kid. Honestly, do you think I could pull _that_ off these days?"

"Come to think of it, the vision of a 190 pound man crouched on top of a refrigerator would be kind of funny. God, though, you boys must have been real hellions."

"We had our moments," Paul said, failing to hide a grin.

"You and your brothers probably made Sly look like a choir boy."

"Probably. Speaking of which, where is he anyway?"

"At work. My sister in law is picking us up, provided if Tasha ever gets here."

"Good. Let me take the girls to the bathroom in the meantime. Think you can stay here for a few?"

Montana nodded. "Sure."

Suddenly, a voice shrilled in the air. "_Aunt Moni! _Mom, I found her!"

"There you are!" Tasha said happily, before embracing Montana. "My God, Logan and I have been all over the place."

"Sly's right about one thing," Montana nodded, "you would get lost in the _bathroom."_

"Oh, phooey on him too!"

Montana turned her attention to her nephew, giving him a hug. "Are you done with camp already?"

Logan nodded. "Uh huh. I came home last weekend."

"Wow, this summer is going fast."

"No complaints here," Tasha laughed. "That means more days closer to school starting." She then looked around. "So where is this man your dad and I have been hearing so much about?"

"He took the girls to use the bathroom." Montana then spied Paul heading their way with Kira and Mac. "As a matter of fact, here they come now."

"My God," Tasha breathed at the sight of him, "he is a fine specimen of a man."

"Down, girl," Montana warned playfilly. "I saw him first and besides, you have your own man. My brother, to be exact."

"Is that…." Logan began, not believing his eyes. "Oh man! Aunt Moni, you didn't say nothing about —" He was cut off by Paul and the girls arriving back, and the boy looked up at him with large brown eyes.

"Wow. You're even cooler than on TV," he finally said.

"Thanks," Paul laughed. "And you must be the famous Logan your aunt goes on about."

"My _Papi," _Kira said, hugging her father's leg. "_Mine."_

"Ewwwwwwwwwwww, a boy!" Mac cried, pointing at Logan.

"Mackenzie!" Paul cried, a little embarrassed.

Logan, quick witted as the dark girl in front of him, responded, "Ewwwww, girls!"

"Logan Sylvester Hayes!" Tasha scolded.

Montana cleared her throat. "Well, I see we are getting off to a running start. Shall we head to the house before Daddy thinks we were all kidnapped?"

_Later:_

"So you're the fellow that happens to fancy my little girl," Jack grinned widely at Paul, extending a large hand. "Jack Hayes."

Paul shook the silver-haired man's hand. "Good to meet you, sir."

"Been in the company a good while, have you? Montana tells me you won some championships of your own."

"I was tag champion twice. First time with Kidman in 2004 for a few months, and of course almost a year the second time with my best friend. We were just split up in the draft. And I had the old Crusierweight title for a bit back in 2005."

"Quite a few accomplishments you have there," Jack nodded. "So what have you been doing these days."

"Not much, Mr. Hayes. Mostly jobbing."

"Ehhh, everyone hits their slow times. Kind of like me when I started boxing when I was around your age. And what's with this 'Mr. Hayes' and 'sir' bullshit? Makes me feel damn ancient, and I ain't ready for the nursing home yet. Call me Jack." He flexed his muscles. "I still got some left in me. I bet on a good day, I could take _you _down.."

"Daddy!" Montana said, walking into the room, "are you still on trying to challenge younger guys? One would think you'd learned your lesson from the post office incident."

"I beat that smart ass mail carrier kid fair and square," Jack reminded her.

"And you had a compound fracture to your wrist for your trouble," Montana reminded him. "Now cut it out. Besides, Paul _trained_ for many years for what he does."

"Well, one thing about it, little girl, you got yourself a fellow that could kick the shit out of somebody that tried anything fresh with you. And I have to admit, he's doing a better job of it than I did boxing."

"I wouldn't dismiss getting a bronze medal in the Olympics as not doing very well," Montana said.

"Wait….you boxed in the Olympics?" Paul asked.

"He got the bronze for the US," Montana said proudly.

"Who got the gold?" Paul wondered.

"Mexico," Jack nodded. "He was pretty good too. Knocked some Russian fellow out. And some kid from Canada got the silver. That's who ended up beating _me."_

The girls had bounced into the room, wondering what was going on. "_Papi's_ Mexico," Kira spoke up.

"You don't say?" Jack grinned.

"Actually, I'm Mexican on my mother's side," Paul clarified.

"Nothing wrong with that," Jack nodded, then smiled at Mac and Kira. "And you have yourself some pretty little ladies here. What's your names?"

"Mackenzie," Mac said, extending her hand, "but people call me Mac. And this is my sissy Kira. She's three."

"And they have good manners," Jack grinned wider, shaking Mac's hand. "I'm Jack. I hear you met my grandson?"

"Um… Mac?" Paul began before she cut him off.

"Yeah, and I thought he was going to be some dumb boy at first, but then we climbed the big tree outside and he showed me the swing you guys made and his video games! Logan is the coolest boy I ever met!"

Paul leaned back in his chair, letting out a sigh of relief. Maybe this visit wouldn't be so bad after all.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

"This is weird," Paul said that night.

"What? It isn't like we haven't slept in the same bed before," Montana pointed out.

"Yeah, good point, but I don't think I've ever been in the same bed with a girl when her brother and sister in law are right next door and her father's down the hall. Not to mention I had to _get dressed _for bed. Jesus."

"Don't forget Logan and the girls are across the hall from us," she giggled.

"You are really enjoying my agony, aren't you?"

"Hey, I had to put on a nightgown, you know. And it could be worse. You could have been my first boyfriend who went camping with us. He and I were in separate tents, only he got the opportunity to hear Sly and Tasha make love in the tent right next to his."

"Oh God," he groaned. "Does this mean I get to hear those two fuck tonight?"

"I doubt it, unless Sly developed a talent for snoring and having sex at the same time. And it's a little difficult to make whoopee with a nosy seven year old around."

Jack tapped on the door and peeked in, a huge mug in his hand. "Looks like you two are comfy. Air conditioner isn't too high, is it?"

"No, Daddy, we're fine. Just talking. Are the kids okay?" Montana wondered.

"Fast asleep. Little girls are cuddled together on the roll away and Logan's in dream land himself. I guess they wore themselves out playing today."

"They were outside for a long time," Montana nodded. "And the girls had a long day with traveling too. They could all use the sleep."

"So could you kids," Jack winked. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"And don't you drink too much coffee unless it's decaf," she laughed back. "Goodnight, Daddy."

"_How_ many days are we having this torture?" Paul asked when they were alone again.

"Just until tomorrow night. Surely you can survive until then."

She rubbed the inside of his thigh. "Come on, big boy, you can survive one night."

"Um….Mon? I don't think it's a good idea to rub there unless you want um….._trouble."_

"Oh really?" She then tickled him behind his ear.

"Montana, I'm warning you…."

"Just trying to loosen you up a bit," she purred, nibbling his ear.

"I don't think this is the time or place for _that. _Now maybe if we'd gotten a hotel, I may have taken you up on it."

Montana lay on her stomach. "Then you can make yourself useful and give me one of your magic massages."

"You're a damn tease, you know that?"

"Paul, if it bothers you so much, just go lock the door. That's what Sly and Tash do."

"Yeah, but they're _married_. Jesus."

"Fine, _I'll _lock the door. But you still owe me a massage."


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

"_Papi, _we're hungry," Mac announced when she and Kira tapped on the door the next morning.

"What the…." Paul began groggily, the knocks waking him and Montana. He looked at the clock. Seven thirty.

"Guys, come on; you could wake the dead with that noise. Is anyone else even up yet?"

"Daddy probably is," Montana yawned. "He always did get up with the chickens."

"Huh?"

"Our saying for people that are early risers."

"Oh." Paul pulled back the covers and saw himself totally nude. "_Christ! _Good thing the door was locked."

Montana couldn't help but grin as she got up and threw on some clothes of her own. "Yeah, you ended up enjoying yourself last night after all."

"Because _you_ had to be a fucking tease," he countered, getting dressed. "I told you you were asking for trouble."

"And trouble I indeed got," she said, giving him a deep kiss and grabbing his ass.

"_Papi," _Kira said outside the door.

"We're coming, baby girl," Paul said, breaking the embrace from Montana.

He opened the door, finding both girls fully dressed. "You guys have your clothes on _already?"_

"Uh huh," Mac nodded. "Mrs. Hayes helped us. Logan's already downstairs. They told us to come get you"

"I rather figured Tasha was awake," Montana replied, sniffing the air. "That doesn't smell like the type of breakfast Daddy would cook."

"I would have been happy with a breakfast burrito. No one had to go all out."

"This is the norm around here, Paul," Montana nodded. "Even Daddy made me and Sly breakfast when we were kids before he'd go to the post office, though it wasn't the caliber of what Tasha does now."

"Well, there are the sleeping beauties," Jack greeted them. "You're just on time; Tasha has everything about ready."

Sly looked over his paper with a knowing grin and winking. "I guess I don't have to ask if you two settled in and slept well last night."

_Oh God, _Paul thought. _Mon's brother **did** hear us fucking, even when we were making the effort to be quiet…_

"Um…..yeah," he finally answered, feeling himself turn red.

"It's certainly quieter and more comfortable here than the usual rounds of hotels," Montana added.

Tasha came in with several plates, plopping them in front of the kids and Paul.

"Holy hell," he said, eying the plate of pancakes, eggs, bacon and toast. "This is a normal breakfast for y'all?"

Tasha poked his ribs. "Yes. Dig in, big boy; you could use some fattening up."

"This coming from a woman who's barely a hundred pounds," Sly spoke up.

"And you need to get your own bony ass in the kitchen to help me carry in the rest of the stuff," Tasha retorted.

"I can help, Tash," Montana volunteered.

"No guests help in my house and your brother needs to get off his lazy ass anyway."

"Lazy ass," Sly groaned, getting up. "Never mind I bust it sixty hours the rest of the week to keep her and the boy in style."

"Don't mind them," Jack grinned, noting the look on Paul's face. "They go back and forth like that all the time. All in fun."

"One thing you'll find out about those two is they have a strange sense of humor," Montana added.

The couple returned, carrying more breakfast goodies. "And in case anyone was wondering, yes, Tasha did leave something in the kitchen to make for dinner," Sly joked.

"You're funny, Dad," Logan snickered.

"Yeah," Mac agreed, giggling.

Sly studied his wife's plate, containing only toast. "You cooked all this shit and that's the only thing you're eating?"

"Toast and coffee is usually my norm, Sly," Tasha answered.

"Jesus, no wonder you have no ass," he responded.

"Won't argue there," Jack spoke up. "That's the problem with women nowadays, all up in those crazy diets. Always nice to see a lady with some meat, kind of like my Montana over there."

"I could stand to lose a few myself," Montana replied.

"Bullshit," Paul said. "One thing I can't stand are skinny ass girls who have no curve to them. You even _think_ about it, I will tie you to a chair, poke you with forks and force feed you junk food."

"You're definitely my kind of fellow," Jack smiled and nodded. "I've been telling Tasha Lynn over there for years she could put on a few pounds. Why, when she was pregnant with Logan, she looked real good, didn't she, Sylvester?"

"Right with you on that one, Dad," Sly nodded.

"As my pops once said, 'would you rather sleep with a pillow or a pole?' I think the pillow is a better option," Paul grinned.

"Amen to that," Jack grinned back, raising his coffee mug.

"I looked like a whale when I was pregnant," Tasha protested. "And it took me forever to get back to my present size after Logan was born."

"What's 'pregnant'?" Kira wondered.

"Um….Kira?" Paul began. "Little girls shouldn't–"

"When a girl is having a baby," Logan explained before Paul could finish.

"How do we have a baby?" Kira pressed.

"Sissy, remember _Papi _said he'd talk to us about that when we got bigger?" Mac asked.

"Which is exactly the right time," Paul added. "When you two are bigger."

"Me and Mac can ask Uncle Spanky," Kira said.

"You will do no such thing, little lady," Paul replied, raising an eyebrow and staring at his younger daughter.

"Excuse me for asking, but who is Uncle Spanky?" Sly wondered.

"Paul's best friend and former tag partner before they were split in the last draft," Montana explained. "His actual name is Brian, and trust me, it will take me the rest of the day to fill you in on _that_ character."

"And 'character' doesn't even _begin_ to describe him," Paul added.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

"So how was the visit with Montana's family?" Mariah asked a few days later.

"Come to think of it, much better than I anticipated," Paul replied. "Her dad is a great guy. I thought he'd be this cranky old goat, but Jack's pretty easygoing."

"_Jack?" _Mariah raised her eyebrows.

"He insisted on being called that. I tried 'Mr. Hayes' the way I was brought up to address older adults, but he was having none of it. Did you know he got the bronze in the Olympics for boxing?"

"Wait! _The_ Jack Hayes is Montana's dad? The one that got hurt bad in a car accident that killed his wife? Kids were driving too fast and hit his car head on or something?"

Paul nodded. "That's him. How did you know anyway?"

"My father was a big fan of Olympic boxing, Lord rest his soul. So what else is this guy like?"

"For sixty five, Jack's a really cool, modern dude. He didn't even seem to mind me and Mon sharing the same room."

"Hey, that's a first. Most fathers would be bringing the shotgun out. I know mine would have."

"And he loves women with curves. I knew I liked this guy for some reason."

"Wow, sounds like a good catch," Mariah nodded.

"He's already taken," Paul laughed. "And Mon's got a brother that is an investment banker. He tried giving me stock tips. I told him he had me confused with JBL."

Mariah chuckled. "No offense, but it would be difficult to confuse you with Bradshaw."

"Gee, thanks."

"So anyway, any plans for her to meet _your_ family?"

"I've been thinking about it."

"Yeah, think about it; if they like her as much as your girls do, you're in luck."

Paul nodded. "You have a good point there."

"And speaking of those kids, who's watching them while Montana's at work, you're with me, and Shaun's at Disney World with her family for the weekend?"

"Brian. Don't worry; I laid down the law again before I left."

"Now let's hope he doesn't go near anything that involves heat or fire in the meantime."

"I have that covered as well. Room is both kid and Spanky proof."

Paul's phone buzzed in his pocket, causing him to jump a little. He flipped it open, checking the Caller ID and recognizing the room phone.

_Probably Mac wanting some silly thing, _he thought.

"Yes, kiddo, what is it?" he answered, taking a swig out of his water bottle.

"Aww, dude, I didn't think you cared," Brian replied.

"Spanky, what the hell are you doing using the room phone?"

"I forgot mine down in my room and too lazy to go get it."

"So you run up the bill in my room. Nice."

"Anyway, wanted to give you a heads up about something."

"If I have to pay for another broken bed because you let the girls jump on it when I told them not to or you fucked up the broadband internet connection again—"

"Jesus, PL, take a breath, will you? It isn't that."

"Then do excite me."

"Kira just asked the burning question of where babies come from."

Paul spit out the last gulp of water he took. "_What?! _Jesus Christ!"

"That isn't exactly what I was told in sex ed, dude."

"Spanky, surely you did not tell those two what I think you did."

"What the hell was I supposed to say, that they were shit on a stump and the sun hatched them out? Come on, PL; you know they were bound to ask sooner or later."

"I swear to Christ I am going to kill you. I was going to sit Mac down when she was ten. What were you thinking? Did I not remind you that they are _my_ kids?"

"You'll thank me when Mac's not knocked up when she's sixteen. Will you chill? They're telling this shit to kids in first grade now, trust me."

"_First grade?"_

"Welcome to the United States, _señor."_

"Smart ass."

"Glad to be of service. You're welcome. I'll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitress."

Paul sighed, snapped the phone shut before putting it in his pocket and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Fucking hell," he groaned.

"Should I even ask what that was about?" Mariah wondered.

"Let's just say a six year old and a three year old just got the World of Sex According to Spanky lecture and leave it at that."

"Oh God," Mariah said. "You cannot be serious. Those girls aren't old enough to know about _that."_

"According to him, they're teaching it to first graders now. I should have known something like this was bound to happen when Kira asked about babies the other day when we were visiting Montana's family."

"Well, they can be curious at that age, but even I find this a little over the top."

"You aren't kidding, Mimi. He's lucky I'm letting him live."


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Montana had been in a makeshift office in the backstage area engrossed in the work in front of her, not hearing Paul come in. He had come from a hair appointment after his day with Mariah and was now dressed for that evening's show.

He stood there silently for a few moments with his signature lopsided, goofy grin before she looked up, pushing her reading glasses on top of her head.

"May I help you….." she began before it hit her. _"Paul?"_

"And hi to you too, baby. What's happening?"

"What did you do to your hair? It's….._gone."_

He pouted. "You don't like it?"

"I didn't say that. I didn't even recognize you at first. Wow…you went pretty short, didn't you?"

"It got kind of old having guys practically dragging me across the ring by it. That and it took a hundred years to dry when I got out of the shower. This is easier."

"And I guess you took my suggestion of change to heart, huh?"

"Maybe," Paul replied with a sly smile. "So, it's okay? Brian teased me and said I looked like a cancer kid."

"That's a terrible thing to say. You do _not."_

She came over and lightly flicked his bangs. "You know, this shorter thing really shows off your nice features and your eyes. I think I can get used to it. You have some really good cheekbones. I'm jealous!"

Paul glowed. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Now if they can get you out of those baggy pants and into something decent, you'd be the complete package."

She tugged on his shorts, pulling the material forward and looking behind him. "Oh, yes, definitely something to show off that ass. I need to get in touch with some attire designers to get you something really hot."

"Fucking hell," he sighed. "Have you been trading notes with Brian or something?"

"No, but if he's thinking along the same lines, I'm certainly not going to argue with him."

"What is it with you women and guys' asses?" Paul wondered.

"The same thing that is with you men and women's boobs," she answered, chuckling. "So have the girls seen your new hairdo?"

"Not yet. Mariah's staying with them tonight. Spanky was with them all day while she and I hung out and then I got my hair cut. They'll probably be asleep when I get back later."

"Perhaps, unless Brian loaded them down with soda and sugar before he left."

"If he did, I swear I will kill him for sure. He's already been in deep shit with me today as it is."

"Why?" Montana asked. "What happened?"

Paul gave her the entire story of Brian telling the girls about the birds and the bees.

"Dear God," she groaned when he finished. "Of all people to tell the girls about _that."_

"You aren't kidding. Say, uh, not to be nosy or crude or anything like that, but how old were you when….you know….you were told?"

"About sex? When I was twelve and I'd gone on a trip with my aunt and two of my cousins. Georgia and Debby got into a discussion about one of their neighbors that was pregnant–the girl was about sixteen at the time, I think–and Debby said, 'Well, she can't help that God put a baby in her stomach.' Well, Aunt Tina always shot from the hip, to say the least, and came off with, 'God had nothing to do with it. Didn't you girls learn this stuff at school? The man sticks his penis in the woman's hole and wiggles up and down.' And then she went into all this stuff about sex in general. Daddy was about ready to kill her when I told him."

"Holy shit. Well, at least you all weren't three and six."

"Yeah, you're right there. It was difficult enough trying to digest it all at _twelve_, and I'd just had my first period to boot. Rest assured, though, there's a good chance Kira won't process any of it, so you may be safe with her. On the other hand, Mac's a pretty smart girl for her age."

"That's what I'm afraid of. I just hope to Christ I don't get any calls from school about her teaching sex ed to other second graders, courtesy of Brian. Then I will have to chop him into bite size pieces and feed him to his cat."

"When does Mac start school?" Montana asked.

"About three weeks. I'll be sending her and Kira to my pops' about a week before that so they can be settled down before school starts. And just think," he said, putting his arms around Montana to pick her up, "that's more alone time for _us."_

"Oh my God, Paul, put me down! I'm too heavy for that silliness!"

"What? I bench 280 and slammed down guys twice my size; you're _nothing _in comparison to that." He put her over his shoulder, her butt hanging in the air.

"Put me down, you're going to get a hernia and you have a match tonight. I'm serious."

He laughed, giving her a healthy whack on the ass.

"Ouch! Damn you, Paul, I'm going to get you for this! Put me down right now!"

"Okay, okay, geez. And I thought you yelled loud in bed. I think you just blew out my eardrum."

"Serves you right." She returned a loud slap on _his_ ass.

"Jesus!" Paul rubbed his left butt cheek.

"Consider it retaliation," Montana grinned.

"I'd hate to see how you'd retaliate if I ever pissed you off. God, woman, you are feisty."

"And from both what I have heard and personal experience, you _like_ that."

Montana then glanced at the clock on the jerry-built desk. "It's almost six. You have exactly thirty minutes until showtime. You better get moving before you're in the doghouse again."


	23. Chapter 23

-**Chapter 23**

"_Papi!" _Mac cried. "Where's your hair?"

"It's all gone," Kira added, disappointed.

"It's not the end of the world, guys," Paul chuckled. "It's the reinvention of the Londonator!"

"Get it back," Kira frowned.

"I can't exactly glue it all back on my head, baby girl."

"Get it back," Kira repeated. "Don't like it."

"Great, shot down by a three year old. My own child at that."

"By the way," Mariah spoke up. "Brian called. He says he's going to 'fucking kill you' and already has a spot chosen to hide the body."

"Lovely," Paul said. "Now my best friend has a contract on my life over a haircut after he said I looked like a cancer kid. Even my own _mami _isn't happy. 'You had such gorgeous hair _mijo!' Oquela. _Anyone else want to take a shot?"

"I think it's rather nice," Mariah nodded. "Gives you a more mature, cleaner, more serious appearance."

"Yeah, _Papi," _Mac agreed. "You are kind of cute, now that I looked at it better."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Mac grinned.

"She's right about that," Mariah chuckled.

"Ah, the seal of approval at last. Thank you, lovely Mimi and my sweet little Mackenzie. And it's still summer and it makes my neck hot as hell. Plus it always fun getting dragged across the ring by your hair, especially when it comes off in their hands and it looks all brutal."

Mac made a face. "Eww."

"So what did Montana think?" Mariah asked.

"After I scared the hell out of her? She kind of liked it. She's still on my ass to get new attire, though. Thing is, Mimi, I knew they'd want to keep me kind of the same, not change my style, outside of taking away the knee pads. Like how you notice Bri's doing more ground work now? They want me to stay a high flyer, so I'm hoping they'll at least give me a different look. I like the shorts, they're comfortable, some say 'ridiculous', but I like wrestling in them. Now if they'd give them a new design, it'd be cool."

"Hmm," Mariah pondered. "That makes sense."

"And Mon's probably going to shit herself when she sees I am now a two-tattooed man. I figured since I'd fucked up my entire promise to Dani, I'd get it redone, so I doubled up."

"Oh, Paul, the ankle ones? That's sweet, honey. I'm sure she'd be happy to hear that."

"Well, she about opened a vein about the haircut until I told her the remains went to Locks of Love. Then I became her hero."

Mariah beamed. "You donated it to Locks of Love?"

Paul nodded, grinning. "All eight inches of it."

"Such a stroke of generosity. Of course, I can't say I'm surprised. You always were a big hearted soul for as long as I've known you."

"What's Locks of Love?" Mac asked.

"Well, sweetheart," Paul began, "it's a place that makes hair for kids who lose their own from being really sick for a long time."

"And they'll use _your_ hair?"

"Mine and a lot of other people's, baby."

"Wow. See, Sissy? It's not so bad. Some little kid that's sick will have _Papi's _old hair. It isn't gone after all."

It took awhile for Kira to digest it, but she only nodded.

"And don't worry, baby girl," Paul added. "What I have here will grow back."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Okay," Kira said. "Then I won't be mad no more. But 'Tana really like it?"

"Of course she does."

"If she does and you gave the rest for some sick kids to use," Mac smiled, "then we will be happy with it too!"

"Phew," Paul said. "For awhile there, I thought you two would join Spanky in the murder plot. Then again, he'll just have to deal. I have been a little more comfortable today."

"And you could be taken a little more seriously now too," Mariah replied.

"Yeah, I was just thinking that, Mimi. That and I'm getting a little old for the long hair deal. Sure, the chicks are into that shit, but since being with Montana, to be honest, she and these two little angels here are the only opinions that matter. And of course, I don't think everyone's into looking at all the fur of one hairy Mexican, contrary to popular belief."

"Well, as long as you don't go too insane," Mariah smiled, "reinventing yourself could be a _good_ thing in the long run."


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

Paul was about flipping through channels later that evening, yawning, scratching himself, and trying to find something decent to watch on TV. He could relax a bit for the time being; Mariah had already bathed and dressed the girls for bed earlier (surprisingly, Kira hadn't put up a battle), so that had been one less thing he had to get done.

He wanted to spend as much time with the girls as he could the next couple of weeks; soon, he would be sending them home for the school year. Kira would begin preschool while Mac would go into second grade. Mac would also need a hair trim and both girls school clothes. He made a note in his PDA to schedule everything as soon as possible.

Mac peeked in. _"Papi?"_

"Okay if I come in?"

"Of course, baby, just making some arrangements to get stuff done for you girls before school."

"Yeah, I wanted to talk about that."

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Yeah. You know how you take me to trim my hair right before school?"

"Sure, baby; you get done every couple of months, in fact. Why?"

"I was thinking about something."

"Do entertain me, because there isn't anything worthwhile on TV so far."

"You know how you gave all your hair away to those sick little kids you talked about?"

"Mmmm hmmm."

"Do you think I can do that too before I start school?"

Paul stared at his older daughter. "You know that's a big step, don't you, Mac? Once it's gone, it takes a long time to grow back to where you have it now?"

Mac nodded. "Uh huh. But I want to help some sick kids have some hair like you did, _Papi."_

"You really thought about this, didn't you?"

"I did. That and I want something that doesn't make me look like a baby anymore."

"Mac, you're only going into second grade, not high school."

"I know! So can I give my hair? Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaase?"

"Well, I guess since you're hell bent on it and it's a good cause, why not? And it will be easier to fix for school at that. Yeah, why not live a little?"

"Yay!"

"But once it's done, young lady, I better not hear any whining."

Mac rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to whine."

"All righty; I'm holding you to that. Now you need to go to bed. We have to head out early again tomorrow and I already promised Montana I'd make sure she was awake too."

"Is she going with us?" Mac asked brightly.

"I hope so. We met her family, it's only right she meets ours."


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

After Paul, Montana, and the girls had a brief stop at his father's for a few days, they had moved on to see his mother in New Mexico. Like his father, she had taken to Montana almost right away, noting how much her grandchildren had adored her son's latest lady friend.

But just as she had been shocked to see Paul's short hair, the little Mexican woman had been equally upset when she saw Mac with an almost similar style that the girl happily showed off to anyone that would look.

"_Hijo_, what did you do to Mackenzie's hair?" she wondered.

Paul sighed. "Now, _Mami_, before you get too upset, I will have you know the whole thing was Mac's idea. She wanted to get it done because she liked what I did."

The older woman shook her head. "You both had gorgeous hair. You both gone _loco!" _

"The remains went to a good cause," he protested.

"_Papi _and I both gave our hair to the place so sick kids that lose theirs can have some, _Abuelita_," Mac nodded, putting her arms around her grandmother.

"But you look like a _chico pequeño," _her grandmother replied.

"_Mami, _I don't think anyone's going to be mistaking Mac for a boy anytime soon with the school clothes Montana helped me pick out."

"Well, at least little Kira here has been spared." his mother said.

"Don't like haircuts," Kira wrinkled her nose.

"Isn't that the truth. She screams bloody murder when she gets trimmed. _Oquela."_

"Mind the language, _hijo_. There are _niñas_ and a _señorita_ present."

"Oh, it's quite all right, ma'am," Montana nodded. "I'm rather immune to it. There's people he works with that have said far worse than _that, _trust me."

The older woman shook her head. "Such dangerous work. I wish he do something not so risky. Who's to say this isn't the last time I will see him?"

"_Mami, _come on, don't start this again," Paul said with a sigh. "We go through this every time. I'm telling you again, it's okay; I know what I'm doing."

"But I worry. I already lost one _hijo. _I can't lose another."

"You won't. Don't worry. I promise to be careful."

"And I promise to keep him in line with everything else," Montana added with a reassuring wink. She then offered to take the girls out for awhile. "You need to spend time with your mom anyway; you don't see enough of her as it is."

"We just took them for school clothes two hours ago," he replied.

"Yes, and now they should have a little fun. There isn't much summer left before they go back to your dad's to start school. At least let me take them to a park or for ice cream."

"Ice cream!" Kira said cheerfully.

"Can we go, _Papi? _Pleeeeeeeeeease?" Mac begged.

"All right, but stay with Montana and don't go too nuts. Maybe you both can blow off some steam and actually sleep tonight," Paul replied.

"This coming from a man that has pulled some all nighters himself," Montana shook her head.

"You've been staying up again?" his mother asked.

Paul looked at Montana. "You have the biggest mouth, you know that?"

"Serves you right. You need to go to bed at a decent hour, just like you tell these girls."

"She's right," her mother agreed.

"Weren't you going to take these kids out?" Paul asked Montana. "_Vaya."_

"_Adiós," _Montana responded. "We should be back before dark."

"_Oquela," _he muttered under his breath. "_Mujeres."_


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

"She's a lovely woman," his mother said when Montana and the girls were gone.

"Huh?"

"Montana. She's lovely, and it's clear _sus hijas _love her."

"Well, yeah, and for once, there's a girl I care about that actually likes having them around too."

"You know they need a woman in their lives on a steady basis. I think it's time for you to find those girls a _mami_. They've been without one too long, and before you know it, you'll be close to thirty."

"Oh God, here we go again," Paul groaned, rolling his eyes. "Is there anything else you'd like to add to the list while I'm here?"

"I'm only say things for your own good," she replied. "You're my _hijo de bebé; _you know that."

"Yeah, but _sabes que, _it's every damn visit. This time around it's my hair along with once again, my job and finding another wife. Anything else?"

"I should tell Montana to work on that mouth of yours. You're getting sassy."

"_Oquela. _Why don't you get on Jon about shit like this? I don't see him with a wife and kids and he _is_ going to be thirty."

"Mind your language, _hijo_, and this isn't about Jonathan."

Paul could only sigh and shake his head.

"I've been thinking since all of you got here that Montana would be a perfect _mami_ for the girls."

"_What?"_

"You heard me, Paul Michael. It's very clear that that _señorita _loves you very much, not like some of those other _prostitutas_ you went around with that were only after a thing or two from you and could have cared less about those little ones. But Montana! She looks and acts like a _lady_ should, considering she was brought up without a _mami _herself. You've even told me how much she loves spending time with Mackenzie and Kira, and that is just what those _niñas _need. And frankly, in some ways, she reminds me of how Regina was in many ways."

"So what are you getting at, _Mami? _Spit it out, since it's clear you're on a roll anyway."

"I think you should marry Montana."

"I don't think she's interested in settling down with _anyone_, much less me."

"How do you know? Did she say that?"

"Not really, but she's never brought up the subject period. Most chicks are into getting a ring, but Mon's never much as uttered a word about it at all. And _Mami, _keep in mind I've only been with her a little over a couple of months, okay?"

"I still say I'm right about this."

"Jesus Christ…." Paul groaned, his head in his hands.

"He has nothing to do with this," his mother continued, "but I can say He likely sent you Montana for a reason. And if Regina was here right now, I'm sure she would agree with me too."

_Meanwhile:_

Montana watched closely as Mac pushed Kira on the swings, chiding her to be careful and keeping an eye on the time in between. She had taken them to an ice cream stand earlier before finding the park they were now enjoying.

She hadn't been in New Mexico for many years; she had still been under three years old when her father had had one of his final boxing matches in Albuquerque and then had been in New Mexico again when barely out of high school and visiting Sly at college.

But she loved where they were now; the little park was quiet and seemed the perfect place for kids to play.

Soon the girls had gotten bored with the swings and gone over to a sandbox, digging holes and trying to build a little castle before sliding on the sliding board, climbing the monkey bars, and then wrestling and tickling each other on the grass, giggling.

"Guys," Montana warned. "Take it easy, especially you, Mac."

"We will," Mac replied. "We don't copy stuff on TV or nothing. _Papi _says not to, because people train to do that kind of stuff and we could get hurt bad if we do it."

"And he's right," Montana agreed, "but still, Kira's little, so don't get too rough."

She let them play awhile longer before dusk arrived, rounding the girls up to go back to their grandmother's before dark.

"Miss Montana," Mac asked on the way back. "Can me and Kira ask you something?"

"Sure, honey, whatever you like."

"Do you like _Papi?"_

Montana had to smile. "Very much so."

"We thought so. He likes you too. We can tell," Kira nodded.

"Your daddy's quite a guy, I can say that much."

"So when you gonna marry him?"Mac inquired, cutting to the chase.

"Uh, to be honest, Mac, he's never even mentioned it. And I don't think that with your daddy's schedule, he's really ready to get married."

"I think you should," Mac continued. "I bet if I asked _mi abuelita, _she would think so too. She likes you. She said so to me and Kira that _Papi_ picked a nice lady this time."

"Uh huh…." Montana was at a loss for words.

"So would you marry _Papi_ and be our new _mami?" _Mac wondered hopefully.

"Mac, I really think that would be something for your daddy to decide. And as flattered as I am to know you girls want that to happen, he may be happy with things just the way they are."

_A short time later:_

"I think your mom may be on to something," Mariah said cheerfully during a phone call with Paul.

"Jesus, Mimi, don't you start," he groaned.

"Look, sunshine, I see how you are around that woman, and it isn't like how you had been around anyone else in the past since I've known you. You light up like a kid at Christmas anytime Montana comes around. She's wonderful with the girls, and hell, you're already been having sex with her, so why not make it official?"

"Mimi, if I'd married every chick I'd fucked, I'd had a harem of at least 20 wives by now."

"You know what I mean. Paul, really; it's been almost four years since Reggie died and those girls need a mother."

"Did _mi mami _by chance put any of you up to this? First I get an email sermon from Shaun, then I get off the phone from this same damn conversation with Brian, and now you."

"Can't speak for anyone else, honey, but I've been thinking this ever since you and the lovely Miss Hayes got together."

"Christ. I'm surprised my pops hasn't started on me yet."

"Give him time," Mariah said.

"Say one word to him, Mimi, and I will kill you."

"No you won't. That's one less person around that would keep you sane, sunshine."

"What's the big deal with everyone wanting to marry me off all of the sudden?"

"I don't think it's 'all of the sudden.' People have been talking about it for awhile, from the offices to the locker room all the way down to the janitors."

"Nice to know my personal life is an interesting topic of convesation. _Oquela."_

"Did you ever stop to think that there are people in the world that actually are concerned about you and your little girls?" Mariah asked. "It's for your own good, Paul."

"Jesus, you sound like _mi mami _now."

"Your _mami _may be on to something the rest of us may know nothing about. And if I were you, big boy, I'd start listening to her."


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

The following Tuesday, Paul had been visiting Smackdown; it would be the last full week he would have with the girls before school started. Shaun's friend Marylin was watching Mac and Kira (as she did occasionally when no one else was available), being Montana was helping piece together details with Creative with some last minute script changes before the show, Mariah was called to be on the Smackdown ring crew that night, and Shaun was working security. And it was very likely Brian would be working a match.

"Wow, must be nice for some of us to sit around on their asses backstage while the rest of us are busting ours," Shaun teased Paul before giving him a hug.

"And hello to you too," he laughed. "How was Disney World? I haven't see you since you came back from vacation, even if I did get your emails."

"Well, let's just say I got a taste of parenthood in one weekend and may put off having children for awhile. I do not know how you do it, _Guapo. _Whew. My cousin's kids wore me out."

"It isn't easy, especially with me raising girls. Some days I want to pull my hair out, especially now Kira's at the age where she's asking questions about shit."

Shaun rubbed his head. "Doesn't look like you have much hair to pull out these days."

"Ha ha. Cute. But, _sabes que_, I know I'm going to miss the little sprouts when they go home for school next week."

"And I am sure they will miss their _papi_ too. But maybe one of these days—"

"Don't start, Shaun," Paul warned. "I've already gotten shit about Mon from practically everyone I know all week."

"Speaking of which, how are things with you and Montana? Mariah told me you took Montana and the girls to see your parents. I guess that's why it took so long to email me back."

He nodded. "_Mi mami _was on my ass about everything imaginable the whole time we visited her. But at least she and my pops like Mon. That's a good start, I guess."

"Wow, right off? They didn't usually take to just about any of your women from the start."

"Yeah, go figure."

"But I can't blame them; you and Montana make a really good—"

"Again, Shaun, don't go there."

"Couple," she finished.

"Oh. Well, thanks for that one."

"And would have a beautiful child."

He smacked his forehead. "_OQUELA_. I knew something like that would follow."

"Come on_, Guapo_, a blind man can see you're crazy about that girl and she feels the same about you. And two little girls also—"

"Love her too," Paul cut in. "I got this same sermon from _mi mami."_

"So any hot date after the taping tonight?"

"More than likely I'll be hanging out with Spanky since I came down to see him anyway," Paul replied. "Montana's been working since eight this morning so she'll probably be exhausted and want to go back to the hotel."

"Well, maybe you two can do something nice tomorrow when she's a little more rested. Frankly, tonight, I think we're all going to need some rest after this show."

"Spanky rest? Shit, dude doesn't know the meaning of the word."

"Someone beckon His Greatness?" Brian stuck his head in, sporting a cheesy grin.

"Yeah, but they didn't show up and we got you instead," Paul replied, laughing. "So whose ass are you kicking tonight?"

"They haven't told me yet. Something about the last minute bullshit going on. So where's your better looking half?"

"Getting her ass worked off by Creative. I think by the time the taping starts, the poor woman won't be seeing straight."

"Guess you getting laid tonight is out of the question, huh?"

"Is sex all you think about?" Shaun asked, a strange look on her face.

"This is _Brian, _Shaun; his brains are located in his dick. Didn't you know that?"

"And fuck you too, PL."

"I know you do," Paul said. "I thought the hair would turn you off, but you still wants to jump my bones!" He began to laugh. "Too bad you aren't my type."

Shaun shook her head. "You guys and your sex jokes."

"Hey, come on, Shaun, it's common knowledge that I've seen more ass than Paul anyway."

"Yeah, mostly _men's_ asses," Paul joked. "And the ones you gawk at in the locker room don't count. I'm surprised you haven't tried to hit on Ezekiel yet."

"Gee thanks, dude, why not try and get me killed by my own bodyguard?"

"Now that is one scary mofo," Shaun nodded.

"You aren't kidding," Paul agreed. "He never smiles and looks like he could eat you. I met the dude once and nearly pissed myself. He's like HUGE, fucking hell. I was with Brian when they were introduced, he was like 'Oh you're not scary at all.' I think dumb ass here hit his own head one time too many."

"He isn't scary. He _is_ the biggest, baddest brother around."

"You're nuts," Shaun said. "That man would scare Satan."

"He's a big scary dude," Paul agreed.

"No, you're just a pussy," Brian laughed. "And speaking of pussies, since you will likely not be getting any from Montana tonight, let's go get shitfaced and tease some bitches."

"Are you forgetting something? I happen to still have my kids with me, whom I will be happily going back to once this show is done. And you're the one that has the corner market on getting shitfaced. I already messed up once on my promise to Dani; I'm not doing it again. So unless you have something better in mind, I'll pass."

"Jesus, Maria was right; you are acting like an old man."

"Actually, I'm acting like a responsible father, which reminds me, I need to check in with Marylin and then I'm going to see if my lady is available for a well-deserved break."


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

"I got my girls!" Paul laughed, going on the attack the next morning, lunging on Mac and Kira's bed, tickling them and rubbing his face against each of them.

He hadn't shaved yet, and the scruff made them struggle to get away, laughing.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! _Papi! _Stop! Someone hellllllllllllllllllllp!" they cried.

"No one to help you! You are at the mercy of the big hairy man!" he growled before attacking them again.

The phone had rung shortly after, with Montana calling from her room next door.

"My God, Paul, what on earth are you doing to those kids? It sounds like you're killing them."

"My morning ritual wouldn't be complete without tickle torture," he replied.

"It sounded like torture period. Those poor babies."

"How about I come torture _you_ instead?"

"No thanks, not until after breakfast. Are we still on?"

"As always, _mi amor_. I hear McDonald's is having—"

"You are not giving those kids that God awful greasy food," Montana said. "Do you have any idea what is in that stuff?"

"All I know is it tastes pretty good when we're hungry. And they have a drive thru. All I got to do is throw on a shirt and shorts."

"Good grief, are you lazy. And that stuff does rotten things to your insides. It's all grease and fat that kids don't need. They are getting a good breakfast from a nice place."

"You mean we have to get dressed decent and go out? It's fucking raining."

"Room service has a good menu," Montana offered.

"They have such fancy shit on hotel menus. We're in America, I eat like an American . Jesus."

"Don't be difficult. This is the last week you'll have with the girls on a regular basis until the holidays, at least give them a memorable send off."

"All right, let me clean my ass up and dress these lovely angels and you can pick the place."

"That's much better," Montana said.

"_Te amo, mi Montana."_

"Same to you. I'll see you over there in about half an hour."

Paul hung up the phone and turned to the girls. "Think you two can watch TV for a bit while I get a quick shower? We're going out to breakfast with Montana."

"Yay!" they cried, jumping.

"Hey, again, no jumping on the beds. I'm going to have to get you guys a trampoline when we get home. Now, sit here, watch TV, and don't answer my phone. Let the voice mail get it. Okay?"

"Even if Miss Montana calls back?" Mac wondered.

"She'll probably come to the door next time. In any case, don't touch the phone. The last time one of you did, I had some weird city in New Jersey I never heard of on my bill."

"Okay, _Papi_. But if anyone comes, we'll say you're in the bathroom and have no clothes on," Kira replied.

_Later that morning:_

"Denny's, huh?"

"I thought that was what all you simple guys liked," Montana smiled. "Plus they have _real_ food, not that horse meat that tries to pass for it."

"I have to pee," Kira announced.

"Already? You guys just went to the bathroom before we left the hotel," Paul replied.

"I have to pee again."

"I can take her," Montana offered. "Get us a table, would you? Non-smoking."

"All right."

Montana carried the younger girl back to the ladies room, letting Kira do her business while keeping a close eye. She always did feel a little nervous in public rest rooms and often heard what happened to children in them when they weren't supervised. Kira may have been a bit shy, but she was a pretty little girl and an easy target for a predator. Montana couldn't wait to get the child out of there quickly enough.

They had been on their way back to rejoin Paul and Mac when an older woman had smiled at them.

"I'm so sorry," she began, "but I just couldn't help what a beautiful little girl your daughter is. She almost looks like you."

Montana had to chuckle. "Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am, but–"

"She isn't my _mami_!" Kira spoke up. "She's my _papi's_ friend. _Papi's_ over there with my sister."

The woman seemed a little embarrassed. "Oh my….I am terribly sorry."

"Don't be," Montana smiled graciously. "For some odd reason, I've been getting that a lot lately."


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

"Your wallet or your life," the man growled, covering Paul's eyes.

"Uncle Spanky!" Mac cheered.

"Sorry, dude, you wouldn't make a very good robber," Paul said. "At least with the kids around."

"I only see one. Where's Kira?"

"On her way back from the restroom with Montana," Paul nodded, spotting the pair. "And what are you doing up so early anyway? I thought you were going to crash until checkout time."

"I got the munchies. And what better place to come to both satisfy that and get hit on by some hot waitresses?"

"More like get hit on by the hot busboys," Paul teased.

"Shit. You're just jealous because chicks are digging the new gimmick."

"I will have you know chicks are digging _my_ new haircut."

"Uh huh. And does one Miss Montana know that?"

"Knows and doesn't care. I come back to her at the end of the day, don't I?"

"Wish my fiancee had that stand when she has a bitchfit about all the chicks hanging around me at shows. I mean, come on, do you see 7,000 dollar rocks on _their_ fingers? Which reminds me—"

"Don't start, Spanky."

"Don't start what?" Montana asked, seating Kira in the booth with Mac across from Paul before pecking Brian on the cheek. "Hello, stranger."

"See there? Even your own chick digs me, PL."

"In your fantasies maybe."

"So did anyone come over to take orders yet?" Montana wondered, scanning a menu.

"Not yet," Paul shook his head.

"Pancakes," Kira said.

"Is that what you would like, honey?" Montana asked.

"Yeah."

"Me too," Mac nodded.

"You know what? I think I will too. Certainly beats your daddy getting breakfast burritos from the drive thru, doesn't it?" Montana raised an eyebrow at Paul.

"You're a nag, you know that?" he asked.

"And you love every minute of it, dude," Brian piped up. "You getting the special?"

"Works for me."

"And we got ourselves a hot ass waitress. This might be a good morning after all."

A pretty, red-haired waitress with clear blue eyes came over to take their orders, smiling at both men the entire time, both of them returning her friendly banter. Montana felt a little jealous, but made the effort not to show it as she ordered for herself and the girls.

"What?" Paul asked, noticing Montana's cold stare once the waitress had left.

"Nothing." Montana's tone was slightly icy. "I can deal with it later."

"We talked about this before, Mon. You're doing it again, so you know."

She nodded silently, not wanting to get into a scene, especially in front of the girls.

"Anyway," Brian spoke up in an attempt to break the tension, "Mac, when do you go back to school? And when are you getting a boyfriend?"

"Dude!" Paul said, smacking his head. "She's not even seven yet. Jesus."

"Ewwww!" Mac said. "Boys are gross."

Montana couldn't help but laugh. "And a pain in the butt sometimes. Besides, you're young enough to enjoy your life first. Same with your sister over there."

Soon their respective breakfasts had arrived, all of them smiling wide as the plates of food were being set in front of them. Both guys dug in with gusto while Montana shook her head and smiled. One thing about it, either of them were anything but dainty.

"Oh God, I think I'm going to explode," Paul leaned back and groaned. "I think we more than got our money's worth out of that special."

Brian let out a loud belch. The girls began to laugh while Montana gave him a quizzical look.

"What?" he asked, oblivious to the stares around him.

"Jesus, Brian. Was that really necessary?"

"Better out than in, love."

"Count your blessings that it didn't come from the _other_ end," Paul replied. "They would have had to call in HAZMAT otherwise."

"Yeah, PL, like yours smell like a bed of roses."

"You never complained before," Paul retorted. "Especially when anything that had me with little clothing on was involved."

"Better yet, _no_ clothing."

"Brian, really. There's kids here. Pipe down, will you?" Montana said.

"What can I say? PL's a sexy beast that would make even the straightest man gay for a night. By the way, dude, that bus boy three tables over was checking you out."

"_Oquela," _Paul groaned. "Why do I always attract the weirdos?"

"Want me to give him your phone number?"

"Brian!" Montana cried.

"You do want to live long enough for your wedding, right?" Paul asked, glaring.

"I was dragging your chain." He then jerked a thumb at Montana. "Besides, why get hamburger when you got filet mignon right here?"

Montana couldn't help but smile. "Thank you, that was sweet."

Paul checked the time. "You know, if we're going to get that flight on time, we need to get back to the hotel to pack our shit and check out." He motioned for the check.

"I'm already packed," Montana nodded. "I just have to grab my bag."

"God, you are so fucking efficient."

"I have to be; it's part of my job," she smiled.

Brian gave a loud yawn. "And I got two hours till check out time to get some more snooze time in. I shall take advantage."

"Yeah, miss your flight again and this time you won't have me covering your ass for you," Paul said. "Just make sure you get a wake up call."

The waitress collected the money, returning with their change before Montana got the girls together and they were ready to leave. Paul then spied the bill under his best friend's plate.

"Dude, a ten dollar tip for a five dollar breakfast?"

"What can I say?" Brian shrugged. "She had a great ass."


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

Montana remembered she had to make a phone call on a work related issue when they got to the next city for a tri-branded show and her phone battery was dead. Mariah was already at the arena to set up with the ring crew, Shaun had taken the girls to lunch and Paul had an appointment. Brian happily loaned her his.

"Just slide it under the door when you're done," he said, yawning. "I'm going to crash."

"Thanks."

Montana made the brief call and then when she had gone to shut the phone off, had pressed a button and gotten a video instead, causing her to laugh out loud.

There on the tiny screen, both Brian and Paul were dancing in the nude to "Touch My Body."

_Just when you think you know someone, _she thought with amusement. _The loving, caring father dancing in the full monty to a Mariah Carey song with his best friend…._

Montana had no idea of when the video had been taken, but she guessed it had been sometime before the draft, being Paul and Brian often shared rooms for a long time up until then.

Getting an idea, she figured out how to send a copy to her laptop and hit the SEND button, still giggling. Shortly after, Paul had come into the room.

"What's going on?" he asked. "And what are you doing with Spanky's phone?"

"Mine was dead and I had to make a call for work," she replied. "I borrowed his. But when I went to turn it off, I hit a button by accident and got _this." _She showed him the screen.

Paul went white. "Fucking hell!" he cried. "Give me that. I'm going to kill his ass."

"Why? You guys look like you were having fun. But I guess you're right; some things should be left to the imagination."

"What the hell is left to your imagination? You just saw a video of my and Brian's dicks! Not that he'd probably care; he has no fucking shame, but—"

"For the love of God, Paul, it isn't like I haven't seen _yours_ before. And just think, there's a lot of girls out there that would probably die to see this, like that girl who waited on us at breakfast before we left this morning."

"Oh yeah, the waitress you were all but giving the death stare," Paul nodded.

"And your eyes were all but falling out of your head staring at her chest," Montana replied.

"I'm a tit guy, what can I say? And they were _right there."_

"Still, you didn't have to ogle and flirt with her in front of the girls. What's that telling them? And if you ever have a boy, are you going to use that example around him too?"

"Gee, maybe I should put blinders on then. Come on, Montana, haven't we been through this shit? Just because I'm being nice to women doesn't mean I'm going to whisk them off somewhere and fuck their brains out. I've been past that since I married Reggie and the girls were born. Hell, before you came along, my hand was my only consistent date for a long time."

Montana couldn't help it; she began to laugh again. "And evidently, so was dancing with Brian in your birthday suits."

"You are not going to let me live this down, are you?"

She cuddled up to him. "Maybe….maybe not…"

"Hmmmm. You know what I love about you, baby? You got a good sense of humor. You get my sorry ass. You listen to all my bullshit, the girls love you, you love them, my best friend's probably the weirdest guy and perhaps the biggest pervert anyone can meet, yet you two dig each other, my parents even think you're something special, you and I just blend so damn well, and I've been thinking about stuff, and—"

Montana bolted upward, having some idea where this could be going. "Paul, are you asking me to marry you?"

"Uh….."

"If you are, the answer is yes!"

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

"Wow. I wasn't really expecting something like this. I've felt that way for a while, but given my past with expressing my feelings to girls, I've never been one to word it properly."

"Well, I think you did it just perfect. I don't need fancy words from a guy to tell me how he feels or some gooey proposal."

"Good, because I don't even know the _meaning _of 'fancy words' But I was going to get to the good part before you figured it out."

"Now the fun part is going to be telling two little girls," Montana smiled up at him. "And I think they are going to be very happy."

"Oh yeah," Paul agreed. "And I think quite a few other people are going to be happy too. Meanwhile, let me call Shaun and see if she can entertain my little sprouts a bit longer. We need to go find their soon to be new _mami_ a ring."


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

"That's it?" Brian asked, examing the contents of the small box.

"What do you mean 'that's it'?"

"Dude, I know you're cheap, but one would need tweezers and a magnifying glass to find the rock in that thing. You can't skimp on shit like this."

"It's a fucking half carat!"

"Again, she'd would need tweezers and a magnifying glass to find it. Kind of like your dick."

"Well, excuse me for not pulling seven grand out of my ass like some people I know."

Mariah gave Brian's head a healthy smack. "Assface. You know Montana isn't into all that fancy stuff. I think it's lovely. Simple yet elegant." She gave Paul a kiss on the cheek. "You did good, big boy."

"Why thanks, Mimi, I feel better with that coming from a woman."

Shaun took the box and examined the ring. "I rather like it too. So when is the big occasion to pop the question, _Guapo?"_

"I kind of already did last night."

"And I take it she said yes," Mariah smiled.

"Oh yeah."

"She sees that skimpy rock, she might change her mind," Brian laughed.

"What's your problem, Spank?" Mariah asked. "Didn't you get laid lately or something?"

"I'm just saying you can't be cheap on this kind of shit."

"This coming from a dumb ass that has done nothing but bitch about blowing his life savings on his own wedding," Paul said.

"Hey, a royal wedding was _her_ idea, dude, not mine. If it had been up to me, I'd been wearing jeans and my Larry's Hot Dogs T-Shirt and it would have been over in ten minutes."

"Kind of like you having sex?"

"Very fucking funny, PL."

"Montana's going to love this," Shaun nodded, still admiring the ring. "What made you pick white gold?"

"I remember her dad saying something about her mom's ring looking like this. Yeah, I kind of asked him for suggestions."

"You called her father?" Mariah asked, elated.

"Actually, we both did, after we told the girls. I was going to have Shaun here keep them out later while Montana and I both went to look at rings, but then I decided to surprise her after I got some suggestions from Jack."

"Ahhh, already in a conspiracy with your future father in law. I love it."

"Jack's kind of a pro at this. He did the same thing for Sylvester when he was picking a ring for his wife. To be honest, I think the guy should have been a jeweler instead of a postmaster."

"Judging by this, I think you're right," Shaun nodded. "Almost any girl would be thrilled to have something like this." She gave Brian a look. "Not all women need seven thousand dollar pet rocks to be happy."

"Oh sure, let's all gang up on the short blond guy," Brian snorted.

"That needs to get laid," Mariah laughed.

"You offering, Mimi?"

"Why don't you two just go in the broom closet over there and have a quickie?" Paul asked. "You've been wanting to screw each other's brains out for over a year anyway.""

"You are a sick, sick man, _Guapo," _Shaun shook her head.

"And you happen to forgot I'm engaged, dude," Brian added.

"Never stopped you before, Spanky. Which reminds me, I have to get out of here and get ready for a match." He picked the ring box. "Not to mention have a sweet lady to see and give _this_ to."

Mariah sighed dreamily as they watched him leave. "What I wouldn't give to be paint on the wall when that happens."

_Later:_

"It is absolutely beautiful," Montana sighed, admiring the ring as she and Paul sat together in the empty locker room alone.

"According to Spanky, you needed a magnifying glass to see the diamond."

"Oh phooey on him. It's just perfect."

"It _is?"_

"I love it," she said, her eyes shining. "I love you. And I think while we're still alone, I'll show you how much."

_Several minutes later:_

Shaun and Mariah had been chatting backstage when Shaun caught Montana in the corner of her eye emerging from the locker room, a slight, mischievous smile on her face and slightly flushed.

"Oh girl," Shaun shook her head as Montana checked herself in a mirror. "I don't even want to know what _that_ was all about."

"I think I already do just from what I'm seeing," Mariah said. "Let's just say Montana got her ring and was very, _very _happy with it. Add to that, Paul's going to be more than _very _warmed up and relaxed for his match tonight."


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

"A mint-tinged dress?" Tasha wrinkled her nose at her sister in law when they went shopping for dresses the following weekend. Tasha would be Montana's matron of honor.

"Come on, Tash, surely you don't expect me to go all out in full white regalia, do you? We're not having a fancy wedding like you and Sly did."

"No, but surely we can find something better than that for you. And shouldn't we have gone to a bridal place? You'll need dresses for the girls too, won't you?"

"His mother's taking care of that," Montana nodded, going through another rack of dresses. "Which reminds me, the girls went home today, so he's probably a little down in the dumps. I should call him tonight after the show."

She then pulled out an ankle length ivory lace dress with an off the shoulder line. "So what do you think of this one, Miss Expert?"

"Kind of hard to tell on the hanger," Tasha pondered. "Go try it on."

"Good idea," Montana nodded. "Meanwhile, try to find yourself something in a decent green."

"_Green?" _Tasha made another face.

"_Sabes que_, it's the groom's favorite color. _Vaya." _Montana was now picking up some of her husband to be's Spanish.

"Okay, okay, whatever that means."

Tasha sighed, going through several racks before finally finding a dress in a pale green, a halter with tasteful pearl accents and a long skirt.

"All right, Tash," Montana called from the fitting room. "Are you ready for this?"

"Sure."

Montana emerged from the changing room wearing the dress she had chosen. "What do you think?" she asked.

"I think Paul's going to totally forget his own name when sees you," Tasha nodded approvingly.

"My ass isn't totally huge in this?"

"You look gorgeous," Tasha reassured her. "And if there was a problem with your ass, I'm sure your fiance would have complained by now."

"Come to think of it, he's a boob man," Montana giggled. "So what do you have there?"

Tasha held up the dress for Montana's approval.

"Oh now that is what I call good taste," she nodded. "Good going, Tash. See? Green isn't so bad, is it?"

_Meanwhile, in another state:_

"Dude, do you realize we've dragged Sly to three different places in two different states the last seventy two hours?" Brian asked.

"Huh?" Paul asked.

"Earth to PL. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I'm sorry, guys. It's just the kids went home today, there's this wedding stuff, and you know…

"And we still haven't found shit," Brian finished. "Jesus, this is worse than finding something for my own wedding."

"I think we have, boys," Sly said cheerfully, bringing over three suits. "And they're all on sale. Alterations included in case they're needed. They'll do them the same day."

Brian perked up. "No shit? They must have known we were coming."

"Well, let's try them on." He tapped Paul's shoulder. "Come on, Mr.Excitement, that means you too."

"Should we look for something for your dad too?" Paul asked.

Sly nodded. "Dotty's taking care of that. She's probably got Dad run ragged back in Texas as we speak. And of course, we already know Tasha and Montana are working on dresses."

"Oh God. Dresses. Those things probably cost what I make in one match."

"Not always. Knowing my sister, she'll find something reasonable."

"Hey, PL, you never did say what the big hurry was to get this thing together," Brian spoke up loudly from his stall. "You knock her up or something?"

"For the love of Christ, Spanky, do you have to tell the world my business? And no, she isn't pregnant. We've been careful about that. As for 'the big hurry,' I don't see a fall wedding as such a hurry."

"Fall isn't that far off, dude."

"Right when the leaves turn," Sly cut in. "Couldn't have better timing. And it will be right before you boys head overseas."

"Which in a way will suck," Paul said. "Not much time for a honeymoon."

"I'm sure my sister understands."

Sly stepped out of his fitting room stall. "Well, if this isn't sheer luck. I won't need this thing altered at all. This never happens to me."

"I need the sleeves fixed on this jacket," Paul complained, tugging at one. "They're a bit short."

"That should take about ten minutes," Sly nodded. "The rest of it looks fine on you."

"I knew for some reason we should have brought an investment banker that wore a lot of suits with us," Paul grinned. "Hey, Spanky, how's it hanging in there?"

"This sucks," Brian called out.

"Oh come on, dude, it can't be _that_ bad."

Brian stepped out, a scowl on his face. Several inches of material went past his hands and feet. Paul broke out laughing at the sight.

"One word about my height from either of you and I'm sending Ezekiel to eat you _both _alive."

"Dude, you look like a kid dressed in your dad's clothes!" Paul howled.

"Oh, things aren't that bad," Sly reassured Brian. "Nothing taken up a few inches won't solve."

"A few inches? They'll need to take a whole bolt of cloth off for that thing to fit Spanky."

Brian went for his phone, still scowling.

"Who you calling?"

"Montana," Brian replied. "Just to warn her the wedding might be off. Depending on whether or not Ezekiel likes Mexican food, her groom to be might end up being my bodyguard's dinner tonight."

Sly chuckled and shook his head. "Montana was right about one thing; traveling with you two is never dull. Come on, let's get these things over to alterations and grab some lunch."


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

Montana had joined Paul on Sunday; he had sounded so lonely the night before. Even with his colleagues and buddies around, he still seemed so empty without his little girls. As she would find out, he went through this at the beginning of each school year since Mac started kindergarten.

He had been shocked yet happy to see her.

"I thought you were shopping for wedding shit with your sister in law all weekend," Paul said.

"I got my dress and so did Tash," Montana nodded.

"Do I get a sneak peek of it or what's going underneath?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Paul, you know it's bad luck to see that before the wedding. Come on, this is your second time."

"Yeah, only this time we won't have the bride barfing up a lung in the rose bushes. So you two really got stuff together? Shoes and all that shit?"

"Yes. And once we got done with all that, we picked out flowers for our bouquets, and you boys' bouttouniers. All done."

"Already? Jesus. I had to drag your brother and Spanky to three stores to find a decent suit. I think it took less time to get Spanky's altered."

"You guys have them bought and altered? Wow, I'm impressed."

"Yeah, thanks to your brother. I knew Sly should have come with me for some reason."

"Well, if it's anything Sly knows besides wise investing, it's suits. He owns enough of them to open his own store."

"By the way,_ Mami _says the girls' dresses should be ready in about a week or two."

"That's fine. There's really no hurry for anything now; we're pretty much ahead of schedule by the looks of things. Dotty called earlier and said Daddy and Logan got their things too."

Montana then looked over at Paul, noticing the solemn look on his face. She didn't even have to ask what was actually wrong.

"You know, it's still early enough you could call those little girls of yours and tuck them in," she suggested, handing him her phone.

"It isn't the same," he pouted.

"I know, but you really can't expect them to get a decent education while in a different city practically every night either."

"Which is why they get sent home during the school year. They need to be around other kids and have _some_ kind of stability. Still, it's lonely as hell without them. Even as a pain in the ass Spanky can be at times with his pissing and moaning and other weird shit, I miss the hell out of him too."

"Of course you do. You guys had been joined at the hip for how long."

"Yeah." Paul sighed again.

Montana nudged him. "Call your daughters. I'm sure hearing from their _papi_ will be the highlight of their night before they go to bed."

_The next town:_

"So Sly, listen up," Brian said over the phone as he sat alone in his hotel room. "I was thinking cash bar for the bachelor party because the last thing PL needs is a bunch of fucking drunks weaving all over the place and trying to drive home. Doesn't need that bullshit on his conscience, you know?"

"Sounds good to me," Sly agreed. "And I found a caterer that actually serves 'man food' Got the place from a guy at work."

"You are so the man, Sly. Now for the rest of the festivities, I managed to look into this rent a stripper place that has a two for one special—"

"Brian, what the hell are you trying to do, get Paul's nuts cut off, or worse, him killed? Jesus Christ, Tasha was about ready to chop me into ten thousand pieces when my best man hired _one_ stripper, and you've seen what an itty bitty thing _she_ is. I can almost imagine the damage my sister would do when and if she got wind there were two strippers at this party."

"What, and you don't think Tasha's going to hire a guy one for Montana's bachelorette party? Come on, Sly, get with the program."

"All right, but remember, if your best friend gets murdered by my sister, _you're_ hiding the body or paying for the funeral."

"Nah, it will be cool. What the chicks won't know won't hurt them. Besides, it's going to be PL's last night as a free man; he may as well as enjoy himself? I've even invited Ezekiel."

"_What? _Oh God. Paul will shit razor blades for sure."

"Hey, he isn't as scary as he looks. Besides, Ezekiel only eats people on Tuesdays and that's only when they piss him off. Or they piss me off. Take your pick."

"Something tells me this is going to be one bachelor party that is out of the ordinary. Two strippers and Ezekiel."

"You got that right, Sly. It's going to be a fun night for all; I'll make sure of that. Especially for PL."

_Back in Austin:_

"This is a big hairy monster," the voice said on the phone. "And I'm coming to eat two little girls."

"_Papi!" _Mac and Kira cried excitedly.

"That's right. Are you two behaving yourselves?"

"Uh huh," Mac replied. "_Abuelito _took us out to eat tonight."

"I guess that explains why you two are still up."

"We got pajamas on and we're in our bed," Kira said.

"And we're glad you called," Mac added. "We miss you already."

"Well, I miss you guys too, but you can thank some nice lady for nagging me to call you guys so soon."

"Miss Montana! She's back with you! Yay!"

"_Mami," _Kira piped in.

"Pipe down, little one; she isn't going to be your _mami_ for another month yet."

"Are you guys going to stay together since we aren't there?" Mac asked.

"Looks that way. It gets lonely without you little sprouts otherwise. Are you ready for school next week?"

"Yeah, I guess so. It hasn't even started and we got to do an essay already!"

"About what?" Paul wondered, thinking it was odd Mac would have something to do before the school year even began.

"What I did over the summer."

"They're still doing those things? I wrote that when I was a kid. Of course, yours might be a bit more interesting."

"Yeah, especially the part about how you and Miss Montana got together and now you're going to get married!"


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

"What's all this shit?" Paul asked several weeks later, scanning all the boxes around the room.

"About the last fifteen years of my life," Montana called out as she unpacked.

"Jesus, it's like…._boxed hell _in here."

"Look, hon, I know you can be a bit anal retentive about the whole neat and clean thing, but remember, it was _your_ idea for me to move in with you and the girls before the wedding. And before you get cold feet on me, keep in mind I sold the furniture from my place with the exception of a few pieces that were my mother's."

"Is this going to take long?" he asked.

"I certainly hope not. The majority is either unpacked or I threw it out before I moved up here. Make yourself useful and hand me a couple of boxes, will you?"

Paul nodded, picking up the first box he spied. "Well, at least it's boxes you want. I usually get stuck doing that when someone moves, their senile little asses come over to my door, 'Could you help me move _some_ furniture?' Then I get stuck doing the whole bedroom/living room/dining room set or some shit like that."

Montana took the box and smiled. "Well, what can one say? You're a strong, healthy man." She gave him a wink.

He snorted. "Then I hate it when they're like 'Well, this can go to the dumpster.' I'm like 'Yeah, YOUR ass can walk it a an eighth of a mile down there.' What am I, the neighborhood slave? _Oquela."_

"No you aren't a slave. So when are the girls coming from your dad's?"

"Sometime tonight. Are you sure you aren't pissed at me for suggesting you quit your job?"

Montana looked at him. "Honestly? At first I kind of resented it, but then I figured if it made you happy–plus I know you want someone at home with the girls on a regular basis–I wasn't so upset anymore. It was right after that when I gave my notice. It's going to be odd for awhile not having my own paycheck, but I'll get used to it. I think a break from that zoo will do me good anyway."

"Well, you're not exactly going to go broke; I'll see to that. I may be a cheap ass hick, but I just want to make sure you know that when you've got me, you don't got to worry about anything anymore, because there's someone to protect you, take care of you, love you and do all those things the best he can, but sometimes comes off with a different way of doing those things."

"I think I had some very strong indication of that from the way you interact with Mac and Kira," she nodded.

"And it isn't bothering you?"

"Would I be here if it _did? _By the way, speaking of being here, Brian was. He finished the Doritos and ordered two On Demand movies. He'll pay you back."

"Yeah, right. The little fucker still owes me five hundred bucks for all the porn he ordered six months ago. And he ate the Doritos? I'm going to kill his ass."

"Hey, be thankful he said something instead of you discovering the extra charges on the cable bill and your Doritos missing."

"I don't think it would be difficult to figure out who the guilty parties would be unless you developed a Dorito fetish and TV viewing habit I know nothing about."

"Not quite." Montana shook her head and chuckled.

"I'd prefer if the guys would just be honest and say 'I got movies On Demand and ate all your food; don't expect any money back!' Because basically, that's usually what happens. And with this wedding shit, I can't be throwing cash around anyway."

"Paul, I said before, I don't expect anyone to blow a king's ransom on this thing. We only invited fifty people; it will just be Brian, Tasha, Logan and the girls standing for us. Daddy and Sly are giving me away. Dotty and her bridge club are doing all the cooking for the reception, and it's a cash bar, so no need to worry about booze. That's it. I can't see the purpose of a gala wedding; the only real expenses will be the reception hall and the cake. Which reminds me, we have a cake tasting on Thursday."

"Jesus. Can't we just go to Fred Meyer and drop fifteen bucks for one?"

Montana gave him a look, quirking an eyebrow. "Is sixty five dollars _really_ going to kill you?"

"Is that all it is? Wow. Spanky said it was going to be a hundred and fifty bucks for his. I think I can deal with sixty five. But is it going to be a nice one? You get what you pay for, you know."

"This coming from a man who just suggested buying one from Fred Meyer's not even thirty seconds ago. But yes, they have a great selection. And the way you like to eat, I would think cake tasting will be right up your alley."

"Ha, ha, you're just a barrel of laughs, aren't you?"

"Oh come on; it's supposed to be the bride that is worried about everything being perfect. Could you hand me that garment bag, please?"

"You're not going to stuff all my shit in the hall closet, are you?" he asked.

"Of course not; why would I? There's plenty of room in here for both of our things."

"Wow. And to think I was convinced women like you didn't exist anymore."

"So are we going to dinner tonight since the girls will be back?" Montana asked, unpacking a few more boxes once she finished in the closet.

"Considering you're about finished with boxed hell and the sprouts will be back with me, I say it's cause for celebration. Why not?"

The phone rang, interrupting them. Montana answered on the third ring. "It's probably Daddy wondering if I made it down all right," she explained.

Montana attended to the call for a moment. "Oh hey, Bri. Sure, he's right here; he just came back a little bit ago and helping me unpack. I'll put him on."

She grinned and handed Paul the phone. "It's your _other _wife," she joked.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

The gang had been hanging out; Mariah had been poring through a copy of the latest _Playgirl._

"What is the attraction of you chicks reading that shit?" Paul asked, quirking an eyebrow once he'd seen his friend's choice of reading material.

"The same thing you men get out of reading magazines with naked _women_ in them," Mariah quipped. "Minus the boobs, of course."

"I will have you know I only read the articles and the cartoons," Paul replied.

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Whatever you say, PL," Brian spoke up, flipping the remote to the TV.

"Like you never looked at the pictures, Spanky."

"I don't."

"Bullshit. And did you just order another On Demand movie again?"

"Hey, I was going to order up some porn, but since Montana is bunking here, that wouldn't be too wise. Plus there are also other ladies present, though I'm not so sure about Mimi over there."

"Stuff a sock in it, Brian," Mariah replied, then looked up from her magazine. "Hey, Paul, they have some nice layouts in here. You should think about doing one."

"Oh, right," Paul responded, shooting her a look. "Just what I always wanted to do, be remembered as the wrestler who stripped and had his dick hanging out for the world. Please also bear in mind that I have kids and am about to get married."

"And no one wants to see your teeny weenie anyway," Brian added. "I'm surprised Montana can find it without a map."

"Sure, and _you_ are just Mr. Blessed, aren't you, short stuff?" Mariah asked.

"I got a lot more than PL, that's for sure."

"Mmmmhmm, and how much of that consists of gym sock?"

"I am an all natural man, baby. Want to go into the back bedroom and look for yourself?"

"Jesus!" Paul spoke up. "Will you two just go screw each other's brains out and get it over with already?"

"Hey guys," Montana came in the door, interrupting the banter and setting some groceries in the kitchen. "Are the girls in from school yet?"

"Kira's out with Shaun," Paul replied, giving her a quick kiss. "Mac should be home pretty soon."

"Why are you limping?" Montana asked.

Brian began to snicker.

"I swear to Christ, one word out of you, Spanky, and I will cut off your dick and feed it to your cat."

"Phil played a dirty trick on him," Mariah replied.

"What?" Montana asked.

"He promised me there was a Buster's at the bottom of this big ass hill, " Paul explained. "There wasn't. We walked up, me constantly turning around, seeing I'd taken like five steps and yelling, **'I'VE ONLY DONE THAT MUCH? I'M GOING TO DIE!' **Then when we got to the top, he got all smug and said 'By the way, I knew there wasn't a Buster's down there.' He got lunged at and a few people had to break us up."

"Good God," Montana sighed. "Do you guys really get that bored? You all need hobbies."

"WELL, YOU DON'T TELL A MAN FROM THE SOUTH THERE'S BARBEQUE WHERE THERE AIN'T!" Paul cried.

"Paul, you were born in Hartford," Montana pointed out.

"And you were born in Pittsburgh while your father was winning 'the big one' in Helena, Montana. What the hell is the difference? The point is that you don't tell a man—"

"There's a barbeque where there isn't," she finished. "Which reminds me, I got hot dogs and some steaks. You can go fire up the grill since that is your domain."

"Aha, now you are talking, _mi amor," _he grinned.

"Good, I was hoping to have things all ready by the time the girls come home. They'll probably be hungry."

"Unless Shaun stuffed Kira to the gills at McDonald's," Paul said, "but as late as it is, that might not be likely. She's usually pretty good about not giving the kids stuff so close to dinner, unlike dumb ass here when he watched them."

"Hey, they didn't mind, so why should I?" Brian replied. "And look at it this way, you won't even need to have the sex talk with them. All taken care of."

"I think you just need to stick to having a cat," Paul said. "The idea of your DNA spread around might be a bit too scary for the world to handle."

"Gee thanks, PL, I still love you too."

"Paul, just go get the grill ready," Montana sighed, getting everything together.

"Want some help, Mon?" Mariah offered.

"Yeah, I have some stuff that can be taken out to the patio; plastic ware, soda, and things like that."

"Meanwhile, I'll recruit Chef Boy Are You Short here," Paul added. "Being he's ordered movies and killed more than his share of my food, it's time Spanky earned his keep."

"Wow, the highlight of my night," Brian joked. "Barbequing with the half bald Mexican."

"Just get the barbequing crap." Paul responded. "And stay away from the grill. It's pretty much common knowledge that you shouldn't be allowed near anything that involves fire anyway."

"Then why did you ask me in the first place?"

"I need a slave for scut work and you were the only one available."

"Gee thanks."

"Come on, help me carry this shit out."

"You sure you're up to this, Gimpy? You aggravate that leg, you might not be able to get laid tonight."

"Keep it up and I'll give you the same thing Phil got. Only I may not let _you _live."

"Just checking, dude."

"Hey, Mon?" Paul called in. "Will you let me know when the girls come in? I want to make sure things are at least close to ready when they do."

"Sure, no problem. Just don't burn the place down while you're at it."

_This is going to be one interesting evening, _Montana thought. _I can almost imagine when all these people get together at our wedding in a few weeks……_


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

A few days after the barbeque, Montana and Paul had gone to the cake tasting. She was stuck between two she particularly liked, going back and forth between samples.

"Oh God, I think I'm going to be sick," Paul announced, sitting back on the chair with his hand on his stomach.

"Serves your right for being a pig," Montana replied.

"What? They put all this shit in front of us."

"It's cake _tasting, _not wolf down the whole samples. Come one, which one of these should we get?"

Paul nibbled at the two samples, then let out a loud belch.

"For God's sake, Paul!" Montana made a face at him.

"Sorry." He then pointed to a plate. "This one." It was the carrot cake.

"If I didn't already know your parents, I'd think you were brought up in a cave. And you have the audacity to make fun of Brian. Sometimes I think _he_ has better sense than you do."

"Work with Spanky about fifty days a year when his ass isn't plopped at our place and you could change your mind. Never mind the dumb jokes about wanting to jump my bones."

"Can't say I blame him. The man has good taste."

"No he doesn't. Don't encourage him. Is there a bathroom around this place?"

"Down the hall to the right. We passed them when we came in."

"Oh, right. Be back in a few. You can go ahead and wrap stuff up if you like. Whatever you dig is fine with me."

Montana nodded, going to place the order as Paul made his way to the men's room. Finding a stall, he managed to retch up what remained.

"You too, huh?" a man's voice in the next stall asked.

"Uh…yeah, I guess," Paul replied, finally composing himself.

"I don't know why women put us through this stuff," the man said. "I mean, cake is cake, right? Just pick one. Why drag us along and torture us?"

"I think this is my biggest torture yet. Thank Christ we're only having a small wedding."

"Lucky you," the man laughed. "We're having six hundred at ours. Her idea for this big event, not mine. I'd been happy getting it done in front of a judge."

"First for both of you?" Paul asked.

"Yeah."

"Aha, I should have guessed. My first one was a big event, but we only had two fifty."

"First?" The man raised an eyebrow. "This should be awkward with an ex in the background, shouldn't it?"

"Actually, my first wife died a few years ago," Paul corrected.

"Jesus, I'm sorry."

"It's cool. It was kind of rocky for the first year or so, then I got used to it. Then I met my fiancee and knew she was the one. Plus my kids are nuts about her and she loves them to pieces."

"Kids, huh?" the man asked with a chuckle. "She must be something special. How many?"

"Two girls, six and three."

"Wow, you must have had your first marriage awful young. You don't even look like you're thirty yet."

"Um…..something like that, yeah." Paul wasn't about to get into gory details about the unexpected conception of Mac and the resulting marriage to Reggie before the girl was born. "Anyway, I got to get back before the lady thinks I fell in."

"Good luck on your wedding," the man nodded.

"You too, man."

Paul walked back down to where Montana had just finished paying for the cake selection.

"There you are," she smiled. "I thought you got cold feet and ran out on me."

"Yeah, like that would ever happen. I was just talking to this dude in the bathroom."

She chuckled. "Typical you. No matter where people are, you are always chatting them up. That is one thing I just love about you. You're good with people, but I guess one has to be with the business you're in."

"Yeah, it isn't exactly endearing when one comes across as being an asshole in public. Kind of like those promos of Spanky's. I don't like what they got him doing; it's tearing that kid apart because he hates having to say hurtful things to people he _does_ care about."

"Well, it's just a role. We all know better than that," Montana nodded. "He's really a sweet guy with a big heart."

"Yeah, but there's still people out there that actually fall for it and will end up hating his ass for real because of it. Mon, they don't realize how upset it's got Bri. I would hate it too; I love my fans and I know Brian loves his. It's fucked up to have him go so far over the line, that he has to sit there and tell them all with a serious look, that he doesn't care about them and he only teamed up with me 'just to get his foot in the door.' It's bullshit."

"It has to be terribly difficult," Montana agreed as they got in the car and headed home.

"You're telling me. And I know what it's like to get booed and then have people give you dirty looks in public. It throws your game off so bad, it's hard to focus. And honestly, I don't know if I could do the heel thing."

"They're planning on doing the same to _you?"_

Paul nodded. "They're apparently in talks on doing it for me, but I don't know if I'd make a good heel. When they wanted me to complain and make people hate me, I could do that, but I couldn't act like a jerk seriously. I think I'd rather stick to jobbing."

Montana gave him a reassuring hug. "Maybe because you aren't a jerk in the first place," she smiled up at him.

"I should keep you around more often. You're good for the ego. But you know, I really shouldn't be bitching about work when we have a wedding coming up."

"I really don't mind. It's good to vent. Don't forget, we have to pick up Kira on the way home too."

"Jesus, I forgot about that. Good thing you said something. The last thing I need right now is to be one of those guys on the news that forgot his own kid. You read about that couple that forgot their kid at the airport?"

"I heard about that. How can someone forget their own child? I worry when Mac is five minutes late coming in from school. Which reminds me, there's a letter at home for you from there."

"Oh God," Paul groaned. "Should I ask what that is about? What did she do, piss off one of the nuns or something?"

"I don't know. Being it's addressed to _you, _I didn't exactly open it."

"_Oquela." _He rolled his eyes.

"Aren't you overreacting a bit? It's probably nothing at all."

"Uh, if it wasn't 'nothing' love, they wouldn't have sent a letter."

"You know what I mean."

"You're talking to a guy who got sent to the principal's office at least once a week."

Montana's eyebrows shot up. _"You?"_

"Yeah, I had my moments." He began to laugh.

"Well, then I guess Mac is her father's daughter in more ways than one. Still, when we get home, you better have a look at that letter from school in any case."


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

Mac came in from school not long after her father and Montana had returned home themselves. She had just been about to head for her room to change into house clothes when Paul called out to her.

"Mackenzie Regina Sanchez-Garcia London, get in here! I need to talk to you."

_Uh oh, _she thought. _Papi doesn't call me Mackenzie unless something's up._

Gingerly, Mac walked into the dining room where he sat, holding a letter.

"Yes, _Papi?"_

"What is this about you fighting at school? I got a letter from your teacher."

"Just some stupid girls at recess," Mac replied.

"Mac, you and I have talked about this. When I called your teacher, she said you did a wrestling move on one of those girls on the playground. Didn't I tell you and Kira about _not _doing that kind of stuff? You and other people could get hurt bad."

"Well, they were making fun of the new kid and I got mad. It's rude to make fun of people."

"Baby, while it's good you wanted to stick up for that other kid, this isn't the way to solve it. You know, if that other girl had gotten hurt really bad, do you know I could get into some serious trouble too? How many times have I told you that the stuff I do in the ring I trained for a long time to learn how to do? And one wrong move, Mac, you could get hurt or even die. That could happen to someone else too. Do you really want that?"

"No," Mac responded. "But what was I supposed to do, just stand there and let them pick on Morgan because she doesn't walk as good as the rest of the kids? Uh uh. I'm having none of it."

"You could have gone to your teacher, Mac," Paul said.

"And be called a tattletale? That's for babies like Sissy. Besides, Uncle Spanky says if people give you crap, kick their butt."

"Uncle Spanky is also not your _papi_. Nor is he your grandmother that's paying for you to get a good education at this school. You know, things can be solved without violence, Mac. Now I have to spend one of the rare days I have off going down to school to have a conference with your teacher and the principal tomorrow. You better hope you don't get expelled for this, young lady; otherwise, your grandmother is not going to be very happy."

"I'm sorry, _Papi_. I won't do it any more."

"All right, this better be the last time I hear about stuff like this. Meanwhile, I want you to write a letter to that girl and apologize."

"Aww, _Papi, _do I have to?" Mac whined.

"Yes you do. I've already told your teacher I was going to have you do it as punishment. In addition to that, you're also going to do an essay for the class on why kids shouldn't imitate wrestling moves they see on TV. And you're grounded for the rest of the week. I want you to think about this stuff, Mac, and that there are better ways to solve problems. You know if you have one, you can go to the teacher or come to me or even Montana. Okay?"

"Okay," Mac nodded.

"Good girl. Now go change into your play stuff. Uniforms cost money and I don't want to get a sermon from your grandmother about them being a mess."

Once Mac was gone, Montana had come into the room.

"So how did that go?" she asked, handing him a soda.

"Better than expected, I guess," he replied. "I just can't understand after I've told these girls about fighting that Mac would go and do something like that."

"Maybe having her _papi's_ temper plays a role in it."

"Thanks a lot, Mon; you're not helping much here."

"Well, she's a little spitfire, I can tell you that much."

Paul flipped open his phone, dialing a number.

"Now who are you calling?" Montana wondered.

"A certain blond midget to rip him another one."

"What does _Brian_ have to do with all of this?"

"I don't know; perhaps telling _my_ daughter that if people give her any shit, to kick their asses?"

"Oh no he didn't!"

"He did, and I'm about to give him hell for it. Jesus Christ, if the sex talk thing wasn't bad enough, he's telling these girls the _exact opposite _of what I'm trying to teach them not to do. And the last thing we need is some kid getting hurt and me losing my life savings along with my balls in a lawsuit. And you know once some of these blood suckers find out who I am, the dollar signs will be popping up."

He then paused for a moment, then sighed. "Great, the voicemail came on. Fucking hell."

"Leave a message, I guess," Montana shrugged.

Paul did just that. "Yo, Spanky, PL here. Whenever you decide to put your dick back in your pants or get done taking a shit or whatever the hell you're doing, give me a call. It's important."

"Wow, that should be a sure fire way to get a call back," Montana said.

"Trust me, he will. But until he does, at least we have this whole thing with Mac out of the way. Any other wedding stuff we need to get to in the meantime? You have me all night, baby."


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

"I despise you," Paul said when Brian called him back.

"Okay, either I did something or didn't do something. Which is it?"

"For one thing, when I am trying to teach my girls that fighting is _not_ the answer to resolving conflict, not to mention they shouldn't be doing stuff they see on TV, don't be telling them to kick people's asses when they get shit. I let you slide on the sex talk thing, but this is crossing the line, dude. Mac got in trouble at school for fighting with another girl."

"That's my baby," Brian said cheerfully.

"No she isn't. Dude, you're lucky no one was seriously hurt, because if they were, I'd ripped your head off and had Phil use the hole left behind for a Pepsi can recycle bin. What the hell are you trying to do, turn my daughters into savages? Again, these are _my _kids. Not yours."

"Hey, no skin off my ass if you turn Mac into a wuss and she gets stuffed into a locker for hours."

"It wasn't Mac that was being picked on. She was standing up for another kid."

"Wow, so much the better."

"You are not helping here, Spanky. Thanks to your warped sense of values being instilled into my kid, I have to spend tomorrow with her teacher and principal, most likely to convince them I am not raising buffoons and to keep her from being expelled. And if she gets expelled, you're going to be the one dealing with _mi mami."_

"That bad?"

"Yeah, that bad. Have you forgotten she's in a Catholic school this year?"

"_Catholic school? _What did that poor kid do to deserve going to a place where she'll have her knuckles rapped by nuns?"

"Nuns don't do that shit anymore. And second, _Mami_ offered to pay to send Mac there so she'd get a decent education rather than a half assed one in the public system. Needless to say, once Kira finishes kindergarten, they're both getting home schooled. But since that won't be for another year or so, I'd like to see Mac _not_ get a reputation as a female beast that got thrown out of every school known to man in the meantime."

"Okay, no more telling her to kick anyone's ass."

"Good boy. You can spend time with them, but no more of this bullshit. Leave their raising to me and Montana. When you have your own kids, teach _them _the ways of the jungle. Leave my two out of that."

_Later:_

"So how did everything go? Did you let your best man live?" Montana asked.

"Yeah, _this_ time," Paul replied. "I think we finally came to an understanding that I am the father and the kids are to be raised by _me_."

Montana raised an eyebrow.

"Until the wedding of course," he hastily added. "Then it will be you and me."

"Nice save there, padre," she grinned. "Can you believe it's only two weeks away?"

"Yeah, and it's going to be a challenge to get the two sprouts settled down the night before, being the rehearsal dinner and all."

"More like getting _you_ settled down after all the night before festivities," she smiled.

"You mean you know about….." Paul began.

"The bachelor party and the two strippers Brian hired," Montana laughed. "And it's perfectly fine."

"Wow, does this mean you won't be chopping off my balls?"

"Why would I do that? It's just a bachelor party. My friends and I are having a little thing; why can't you let loose with your buddies?"

He cleared his throat. "I was kind of worried there for a moment, being I heard that Tasha was all but ready to emasculate Sly for having one at his."

"Well, I'm not Tasha. Enjoy yourself. But if you run off with one of those strippers, we _will _have a serious issue."

"You won't have to worry about that. Hell, if anyone ends up in trouble, it will most likely be Spanky. Or at your get together, I'm betting on Mimi."

"For some reason, I agree with you on the Mariah part. She's a party animal; no lie there."

"Did I mention that I am madly in love with you?"

"I hope so; you're the one that proposed, remember?"

"Yeah, too bad it was kind of half assed. But I was never a guy to–"

"Come here, you," Montana said, pulling him into a hug. "If I wanted a Mr. Fancy Pants, I'd gone out and found one. But I got _you_ and I wouldn't have it any other way. Besides, it's the thought that counted. And how could I look into those eyes and say no?"


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

"Good lord, you got quite a gash from that house show, didn't you?" Montana asked a week later, inspecting the gash on Paul's chin.

"Yeah, just my luck, so close to the fucking wedding. Oh well, it could have been worse; Lance has a broken nose."

"Oh my God! Is he going to be all right?"

"He'll live. Of course, everyone's blaming _my _ass for it. It was one of those damn things; neither one of us was at fault for the other. But he did compliment my hard head after the match."

"I'll agree with the hard head part," Montana replied.

"_Oquela_. Shaddap. I just hope the scar isn't too bad on this thing."

"If you didn't pick at it, you won't have to worry about one."

"It's one of my ADD issues," he protested.

"Still, it won't heal up or go away any faster. Besides, men can grow beards and cover things like that."

"You wouldn't mind if I grew one?" Paul asked, amazed. Montana had never brought up facial hair before.

"Mmmhmmm. I think a little facial hair would make you look darker and sexier. Kind of a lot less pretty boy."

"Gee, if I knew you would dig the fur, I'd started on that a long time ago."

"Well, now wouldn't be a good time, obviously." She got some peroxide. "Let's have another look at this thing."

Montana gently dabbed peroxide on the gash, causing Paul to howl.

"_OQUELA!_ WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, KILL ME? Fucking hell, peroxide will be the death of me; that shit bubbles in the infected areas."

"That's the general idea, Paul. It kills the germs."

"Shit, kill the germs, not the owner of them! MAYBE I LIKE THEM THERE!"

"Well, no skin off my teeth if half your face falls off from some raging infection. Good lord, it's like having a 194 pound child with you. Sometimes you're worse than the girls."

"Wow, we're not even married yet and already you're torturing me."

"By the way, Mac's teacher called this morning."

"Oh hell," Paul groaned. "Now what? Do I have to put on the Londonator charm _again_ to keep her from being kicked out?"

"On the contrary," Montana replied, putting a fresh bandage on the cut. "Remember when you told Mac to write that essay for her class as part of her punishment for fighting?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, her teacher was very impressed with it. She not only gave Mac an A on it, she also wants to enter it in the essay contest they are having for the whole school."

He perked up a little. "No shit?"

Montana nodded. "Evidently from what Sister Roseanna told me, they're doing this big campaign against school violence. One of them is an essay contest, and she thought Mac's paper would be perfect for it. It was the only one Sister Roseanna picked out of the whole class."

"Wow, who would have thought something that started out as punishment would end up giving my kid such a good outcome? Must get it from her future stepmother." He gave Montana a gentle pat on the ass.

"Oh I don't know; I think her _papi _talking some sense into her might have played a part too. Don't underestimate yourself, mister."

"Whatver the case, it's good to know that this is both getting through to Mac and giving her sort of a little reward in the process. You know, for getting that A, I might take her and Kira to the house show next weekend."

"They would like that. With school going on, they don't see you much these days."

"Yeah, and it sucks ass. Then the following week is the PPV, and of course, the wedding after that. We'll all be busy for awhile. So some family time would be good right now."


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

The following weekend, Paul kept his promise and took the girls to the house show. Montana accompanying all of them. It was yet another tri-branded show, and Montana was excited about seeing the old gang again. She really hadn't talked to anyone since leaving her job several weeks before, and there was no better time to catch up.

Paul had to go to a meeting with creative and the girls were with Mariah on an outing. Montana was alone in the room for awhile, using the opportunity to catch up with friends by phone and instant messenger. With the girls, she really had little time to herself anymore, and what time she _did_ get, Montana took advantage of the opportunities.

Montana had spent the next few hours in solace between calls from both Paul and Shaun, asking if Brian had contacted her.

"No," she replied to Shaun at one point, confused. "Should he have?"

"He was supposed to be here about two hours ago for a run through," Shaun replied. "This isn't like him either to be late or not show at all. Could you give me or Paul a buzz if he happens to show up there?"

"Of course."

_What the hell was going on? _she thought.

Montana went back to what she was doing, only to have the phone ring fifteen minutes later. Annoyed by now, she vowed whoever was on the other end this time was about to ripped a new one.

"Look, I haven't heard from anyone, I don't know where he is—" she began before being cut off. "Oh, hi. What? You're **WHERE? **How did that happen? Sure, sure, I'll tell him. Just hang in there; he should be back in about ten minutes anyway."

Montana hung up and sighed. "Why me?" she asked herself, looking at the ceiling.

If this wasn't enough, Mariah was supposed to be back with the girls a half hour earlier and Montana wasn't able to contact her on the phone. By the time Paul finally did return, Montana's nerves were stretched to the limit.

"Anything exciting happen?" he asked.

"Normally, I would say no, but your blond midget finally called about forty five minutes ago."

"Jesus! I've been covering for his ass all afternoon. Why didn't you call me?"

"Try turning on your phone. I've been dialing for the past half hour. Anyway, he needs bail money."

"**WHAT?! **_Oquela. _What the hell happened?"

"Something about a bonfire up at his hotel. I'll let him explain it. And Mariah still isn't back with the girls."

"What do you mean _she isn't back?"_

"Just what I said. It's been quite a day and I really don't need any more bullshit. Will you please get hold of the jail and figure out what to do about Brian before he shits himself down there?"

"Christ, of all days for him to get in trouble and Mimi to disappear with my kids. We got a show in four hours!"

Well, you're not going to get anything accomplished standing here bitching like an old woman."

"Fine, I guess it's up to me to go bail out Spanky. Meanwhile, will you please call me when and if Mimi shows up with the girls? Maybe get them ready too before I get back."

"Turn on your phone," Montana nodded. "Anything else, Your Highness?"

Just then, a knock came on the door.

"Yes?" Montana asked before opening it.

"Montana, it's Marylin. I have the kids."

"Oh thank God!" she replied, opening the door. "Are you girls okay? Where's Mariah?"

"Some policemen came and took her and Uncle Spanky away," Mac explained, wide eyed. "Miss Marylin had to get us."

"Okay," Paul cut in. "What _is_ going on here?"

"From what Mariah told me, your buddy thought it would be funny to teach the girls about 'the fine art' of lighting farts," Marylin said sternly. "From there, both she and Brian got this idea to have a bonfire in the parking lot."

"Oh God," he groaned. "Not again."

"_Again?" _Montana was confused.

"Yeah, he did this bonfire shit once before. He just went out to the parking lot of _that _hotel, no shirt on, cigarette in his god damn mouth, a can of lighter fluid, got a bunch of tree limbs, and started a bonfire. He burned his hand so fucking bad and singed his arm hair off."

"What was he trying to do, get himself killed?"

"You never know about that weirdo. Anyway, the staff told him to put it out, so his way of doing that was hitting it with one of the _hotel's towels _a bunch of times."

"And apparently this time, the staff of the present hotel called the police," Marylin explained. "I got a call from Mariah not long after to get the kids, that she and Brian were going downtown to be booked."

"Both of them?" Paul asked. "Brian I can see, but _Mimi?"_

"She held the lighter fluid can. Not to mention she and your buddy were a little…..intoxicated."

"Oh God. I told both of them about doing that drinking shit around the girls. Doesn't _anyone _listen to me?"

"Look, maybe Marylin can go with you down there to straighten this all out," Montana told Paul.

"Oh it will get straightened out all right, provided they don't book _my_ ass on two counts of murder. They're lucky the girls didn't get hurt."

"We were in the room when the big fire happened, _Papi," _Kira said.

"Well, at least they did something right. I'll be having a talk with you two later about this fart lighting thing."

"Are you mad at us?" Mac asked.

"No, baby, I'm not mad at you guys, just the two idiots who thought starting fires in a parking lot was fun and entertaining. Look, you stay here with Montana for a bit. I got two people to drag out of lockup before show time."


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

Mariah had been released on her own recognizance, being she had no prior record and the charges of public intoxication and disorderly conduct had been minor. Luckily, Brian had a relatively low bail and was asked to leave the hotel.

Of course, both of them had gotten the railing of a lifetime from Paul on the way back. Brian had taken it well and checked into his room at the new location, used to his longtime friend's rant and ravings.

But Mariah yelled at him to fuck off and slurred racial epithets before slamming the door to her room.

"_Guapo," _Shaun had warned him quietly, "let it go. She's upset and probably still drunk and means nothing by it all."

"She's being an irresponsible bitch, Shaun," Paul complained. "Just like she was when I met her and she was doing drugs. I just hope to Christ Mimi isn't using again."

"If it helps, I can talk to her when she calms down. Just give Mariah her space right now and maybe she'll sober up by then too."

"Thanks, Shaun, that might be a good idea, come to think of it. _Oquela. _I've had enough drama for one day and we have a show in a few hours."

"I know. And that is what you should be concentrating on right now. The last thing we all need is _you_ getting in hot water again with management."

Paul then looked over and saw Montana engaged in conversation with a couple of men he had never seen before.

"And who the hell are _they?" _he asked Shaun in an annoyed tone.

Shaun shook her head; her long time friend could be so jealous. "Oh, probably a couple of fans or maybe some visitors she's showing around. You know how friendly Montana can be with people. I guess some things _didn't _change when she left her job."

"Well, one of them is getting a little _too _friendly with _her_ and if he doesn't get that hand off of Montana's ass, I'm breaking it the fuck off of him and shoving it down his throat."

With that, he stomped over before Shaun had a chance to say anything further.

"Oh God," she moaned to herself, "as if this day couldn't get any worse."

_Later:_

"I cannot believe you had the _temerity_ to make a scene and embarrass me like that," Montana snapped.

"What was I supposed to do?" Paul asked. "That guy was practically pawing you!"

"Eric was not 'pawing' me, as you eloquently put it. The man barely touched me and it wasn't on my ass; it was slightly below my waist. Come on, you know me better than that; if it _had_ been my ass, I'd snapped his arm in two myself."

"Still, I'm not going to stand by and do nothing while some dude is trying to grope my fiancee."

"God, you're impossible." She rolled her eyes. "Kind of funny that it's perfectly fine for **you** to be around all those bimbos and teenyboppers, but God forbid a guy shows me a little attention, you have a holy fit. Just so you know, just because we're getting married doesn't mean you own me. In addition, there are some of us out there that don't either have to be totally made of plastic or be under 21 to be worthwhile people."

"What the hell…Christ, are you starting this shit again? Didn't we talk about this before?"

"Sure. But present company has a way of saying one thing and doing another. Not exactly a good thing to be teaching your children, by the way"

"Apparently you _still_ think I'm some fucking pedophile, as if I flirt with these girls or talk to them dirty. Christ. I happen to have been married before and raised two kids practically myself the last three and a half years. Montana, I've been past my immature days for a very long time, so I don't appreciate being targeted like I am some kind of sick pervert. _I love you. _What the hell will it take to convince you of that?"

Montana glared at him, raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms.

"Seriously, Mon, we need to get past this shit; there's a wedding coming up soon. So if you seriously have a problem with me, let's talk about it. Don't be holding it in, going to bitch to your girlfriends or your sister in law, or this thing of throwing it in my face later when I'm upset with you about something. Got it?"

"Maybe." She still wasn't fully convinced.

Paul sighed and dropped his head. "All right, I'm sorry for being an ass earlier."

She brightened a little, touched by the apology. "And I'm sorry for going off on you. You're right; we should discuss things before I jump to conclusions, especially since we will be married soon. I've had some trust issues in the past and—"

"I know," he nodded. "Me too."

"Obviously. I thought you were going to break poor Eric in two!" Montana began to laugh.

"Yeah, I did get kind of rough at first, didn't I?"

"You really need to keep the Mexican temper checked and stop going on the warpath, though you are getting better at improving on both. But really, he and Gary were just old college friends of mine. Gary has a family of his own and Eric always was affectionate. I thought nothing of it. You shouldn't either."

"You're right. And again, I'm sorry. It's been a shitty day and I guess I went off when I shouldn't have."

"Well, don't worry about it now, what's done is done. And besides, we will need to check on a couple of possibly hung over creatures later anyway."

"Provided Mimi doesn't rip my balls off and shove them up my ass while we're at it. I wasn't very nice to her earlier either. _Oquela, _I have a lot of making up to do for being an asshole."

Montana raised an eyebrow again, but this time sporting a mischievous smile on her face. "Well, you know, I have a certain man to make something up to myself. And you have a show to get ready for. I think you may need some help with that."

Paul got the message right away. "Oh ho!" he grinned back, "Come to think of it, baby, there might be _one _thing I could use some help on….."

_Further down the corridor:_

Shaun glanced over after seeing movement out of the corner of her eye, seeing Paul and Montana heading into the locker room.

"I don't even want to _know _what is about to happen there," she said to herself, heading to her security post.


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

"Did I ever mention make up sex is the best?" Paul asked with a cheesy grin later that night. "I think it even helped out on my match performance tonight."

"Did I even want to know _that?" _Shaun stared at him wide eyed. "And where's Montana and the kids?"

"Upstairs in the room. I think I wore her out earlier." He began to laugh.

Shaun shook her head and chuckled. "If anything, you are never dull, _Guapo."_

"So are you coming to the wedding?"

"Of course. I arranged for that week off. And so is Mariah; I talked to her earlier and she apologized for causing so much trouble and yelling at you."

"Wow, me too. Yeah, she came backstage for a bit to find me after the show. She's going to rehab for a couple of weeks. Spanky even apologized for being an asshole, and wait for this one. The dumb fuck actually paid me back for the bail money. I think the roof is going to fall in."

"I guess miracles never cease to happen," Shaun laughed.

"You're telling me, lady."

"Where did Brian go anyway? He sure left in a hurry."

"Back to his room," Paul replied. "Something about having to call Sly before leaving early tomorrow to go wrap up some stuff on the bachelor party. Do I even want to _know_ what they're planning?"

"I think that is the general idea, _Guapo_. You aren't supposed to know."

"I don't get the concept really. Of course, I didn't have one before I married Reggie. So if I'm stuck on the dumb about some stuff, bear with me. Of course, the good part is as a condition of his bail, he can't be doing any recreational drugs or drinking in the meantime."

"He wouldn't pull that around Sylvester anyway, would he?"

"Not if he wants to live," Paul replied. "Then there is the factor of us having drug testing pretty soon."

"Didn't you guys just have that?" Shaun asked.

"Yeah, but they're getting closer and closer with it now. Kind of a pain in the ass to have to whip out my dick and piss on demand with some strange chick watching me the whole time. And before you make a smart comment about me not having a problem getting out my dick for strange chicks before, I'm long past that shit."

"I never thought such a thing. And speaking of women, I think you should be getting back to your lovely fiancee and little girls before they think you ran away on them."

"You're right," Paul smiled and nodded. "I really should. Thanks for being my sounding board today, Shaun. I think I would have lost my sanity otherwise."

_Meanwhile:_

"Listen, Sly, check this out," Brian said cheerfully on the phone. "I got everything all ready, even right down to the two for one stripper thing."

"Let me ask you something," Sly responded. "Do you really want Paul neutered that bad?"

"Nah, Montana knows what's happening and she's cool with it. His balls will remain intact, trust me, even though one of your sister's old friends nearly had _their _nuts ripped off and stuffed up their ass by Paul. Long story. But getting back to the stripper thing, here's a curve ball for you."

"This should be good. Excite me."

Brian went into further details, trying to restrain himself from laughing.

"You did _not _just tell me that," Sly said.

"It's a done deal, man," Brian said, howling. "It's going to be a party no one will forget."

"Well, the man was right about one thing; you have no shame, although I have to wonder at the same time if you have a secret death wish."

"Come on, Sly, what did you expect to happen? We were all going to have poker night or something? Damn, it's PL's last night before he's balled and chained again!"

"Hey, that 'ball and chain' happens to be my sister, numb nuts. But I guess you'll also be sober."

"I can stay sober because I'm out on bail for the bonfire thing. Mimi's going to rehab, but she'll be out in time for the wedding, and the court shit should be done by then too. According to the lawyer, we'll both probably end up paying restitution and fines or some shit like that. Of course, with Mimi checking into the dry house, she might even get a bigger break."

"Well, just don't do anything else stupid the next couple of weeks, all right? This bachelor party is going to be eventful enough as it is with what you're about to pull."

"Aww, come on, man, we got to have some fun. And based on past personal experience, PL's such an easy target when you want to make fun of someone. This will probably be my best stunt yet. He won't even see it coming."


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43**

About a week later, things seemed to calm down even though the wedding date was drawing closer.

Montana had picked up Kira from preschool and taken her to the pediatrician for an annual checkup and then to a play date with one of her little friends. Montana had arrived home just in time to see Mac getting off the bus.

"Hey, sweetie," she said cheerfully. "Go on in; your dad should be there by now. I'll be right in."

"Thanks," Mac grinned before skipping into the house and spotting Paul at the computer and sipping coffee.

"Hi _Papi!" _she cried, giving him a hug from behind.

"Hey, sprout. How was school?"

"It was good. Sister Roseanna had someone come talk to the class today."

"Oh?" Montana asked, putting things in the closet. "Anything good? I always liked when teachers brought in speakers."

"Yeah. His name was Sgt. Lestanko from the police. He's something called a narcotics officer."

Paul spit out the last swallow of coffee, barely missing the screen in front of him. _"What?"_

"He talked to us about drugs," Mac continued.

"Oh God. It's official; the system has gone to hell."

"Come on now, Paul, kids should really know the dangers of using drugs," Montana pointed out.

"Yeah, true, but _second graders?"_

"Trust me, there's kids out there that started out as dope _dealers _in second grade. The earlier kids know about this stuff, the better. Even you've gone in schools to talk to kids about this, so I can't understand why you're having a fit about it."

"Uh….the last time I checked, I wasn't a narc, either."

"Oh for the love of cookies, what's the difference if it's you or someone in law enforcement?"

"Sgt. Lestanko talked about weed," Mac spoke up. "He says it's dangerous and can give people brain damage."

"Uh huh," Paul replied. "Then explain why marijuana is used to treat some illnesses like cancer and glaucoma."

"You're not going on that 'legalize marijuana' tear again, are you?" Montana asked.

"No, just making a point."

"There are a few exceptions," Montana agreed. "Medical use has its limits, but as a whole, the officer is right; it is as dangerous as any other drug."

"So is crack," Mac added.

"That narc dude discussed crack too? Jesus, is _nothing _sacred in school anymore?" Paul asked.

"Yep," Mac nodded. "Sgt. Lestanko talked about all kinds of stuff. Crack, weed, metha…"

"Methamphetamine?" Montana filled.

"Yeah, that's it," Mac replied. "And he talked about how some pain killers you get from the doctor can be dangerous too if they aren't used right."

"Sounds like your class got a very good lecture," Montana said.

"I thought so. Sister Roseanna said she brought him in because we needed to know about drugs even though we were too young to have any dealings with them. And Sgt. Lestanko says only dopes use dope."

"Well, I can agree with that part," Paul responded, still stunned such a thing went down at his daughter's school.

"Things have changed since we were in school," Montana said, "even from the time _Papi _over there was, and that's been over ten years ago."

"Gee, _Papi, _you guys are getting old," Mac chimed in, wide eyed.

Montana could only laugh in response. _Ah, the things kids say, _she thought.

"Thanks a lot, Mac," Paul answered. "Now go change out of your uniform and get that homework done."


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

"I guess by now you've heard about all the releases," Shaun said a few days later.

Montana nodded. "I may not work there anymore, but I've been keeping up with things online. It's really sad when they let guys go, you know?"

"Girl, I so agree. I'm kind of worried Paul's going to be next."

"Well, no one's immune really. But now that you've mentioned it, he and I did have a discussion about that last night."

Shaun perked up a little. "Oh?"

"Yeah. First he wondered if I'd still marry him if he was released."

"You cannot be serious!"

"I wish I wasn't. But one would think he'd already known the answer to that. I wouldn't have cared if he had been a mail carrier."

"I know! I realize there's unscrupulous people out there that use these guys for a thing or two, but I can definitely say you aren't one of them. Even those little girls can see that."

"Yeah. Speaking of the kids, he nearly had a stroke the other day when Mac said someone came to her school to talk about drugs."

"You have to be kidding. Why would he have a fit about _that?" _

"The presentation was by a narcotics officer. The way Paul acted, you'd think the guy was passing out joints to second graders or something."

"So much the better that someone from law enforcement did the talk. Kids look up to those kind of people and it's never too early for them to learn about this stuff, especially from the police. Better for kids to be properly educated on it now than finding out on their own later in life."

"That or hearing it from _Brian," _Montana said. "And that's what I finally got through to Paul's thick skull."

"So you ready to be married to that thick skull?" Shaun asked teasingly.

"It's only a matter of days now. If I'm not ready for it by now, I never will be. Actually, I'm a little more concerned about the poor man's bachelor party."

Shaun perked up. "You heard about that?"

"I certainly hope so; my own brother happens to be in on it. Sly gave me a warning just in case I have a dead brother and Paul has a dead best man by the end of the evening. But for the most part, it's going to be Brian's 'little project,' so to say."

"Do either of us want to be around for that?"

"I think that's why it is called a _bachelor_ party. No women. I think we're safe. Question is if Paul does kill someone, who is going to pick up the bodies?"

A loud bellow interrupted them.

"I know those two fuck-o's are up to something!" Paul yelled before coming in the room.

"Who is up to what?" Montana asked.

"Brian and your brother. Both of them are hell bent on giving me a bachelor party. Is that _really_ necessary?"

"And why wouldn't it be?" Shaun wondered.

"Tasha's having one for me but you don't see me running around screaming like a banshee," Montana added.

He sighed, calming a little and getting out some ice cream, eating right from the carton. "Tasha probably doesn't have something sneaky going on either."

Montana shook her head and gave Paul a look of disgust.

He gave her a look back. "What?"

"Were you raised by a pack of wolves or something? Jesus, Paul, there's bowls in the cupboard for a reason. Use one. Just the other day you about opened a vein when Mac was drinking out of the milk carton. Now look what _you're_ doing."

"So? Nobody else eats this kind but me."

"That's beside the point. You're saying one thing to those girls and there you are doing another. What is that going to tell them?"

"Do as I say, not as I do?"

"Get a bowl," Montana repeated, then looked over at Shaun. "It's like having a third child in this house."

"A third child you happen to be marrying in a few days," Shaun nodded. "And there isn't about to be a dull moment after that. Better get used to it now while you can."


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45**

"Look, dude, I'm getting married Saturday," Paul pointed out. "You've stood sober this long, and you even passed the drug test, a couple more days isn't going to kill you. And with that whole bonfire shit, be lucky the judge just let you off with a fine and hotel management permanently banned you and Mimi."

"Yeah, you're right, dude. And with the fun we're going to have at your bachelor party, I want to be sober to remember it all anyway," Brian laughed. "By the way, no one told you? Mimi got out of rehab yesterday. She's coming back to work next week."

"No shit? Well, that's some great news. I know they dismissed her charges since she took the initiative to go to rehab, but damn, that time went fast."

"Yep, we went on a caffeine high this afternoon after court."

"That better be the _only_ thing you've been doing, Spanky."

"Jesus, will you quit being so paranoid, PL?"

"I mean it. There's the chance each day I might end up getting a phone call that I'm being released; meanwhile, you're getting the push of a lifetime, man. Don't do anything stupid to fuck it up. You saw what happened to Jeff a few months back when he got his push and messed up. Now he's got to practically start over."

"You're shitting razor blades about the prospect of being released, yet you're _still_ getting married?"

"Montana and I discussed that. She pretty much said it didn't matter if I was living in a cardboard box; she loved me, she still wants to marry me and adopt the girls, the end."

"Wow, that's love. Most of the time, it seems we've just drawn gold digger morons who only want bragging rights or part of our wallets."

"Yeah, I kind of got lucky finding Montana. Weird thing is, she'd been around for awhile and it started out we'd barely known one another only by sight. Now look at us."

"Yeah."

"Now….what is this shit you and Sly have up your sleeves that you want to do this bachelor party thing so damn bad?"

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you now, would it, PL?"

"If you're getting a stripper and worried about Montana finding out, just so you know, she's perfectly fine with it."

"_She is? _That's a first. Usually most women are ready to cut our dicks off about that thing. But no, this is something else."

"Good, remind me not to show up."

"Oh come on, PL, be a sport."

"So help me God, Spanky, if this turns out to be one of those things where you embarrass the shit out of me, I will slit your throat in your sleep the next time we have a tri-branded show."

_Meanwhile:_

"Come onnnnnnnn, Sylvester," Mariah coaxed, "just one _little_ hint? It's not like Shaun and I are going to be there anyway."

"Promise, not a word to Paul?" Sly asked. "I've already been sworn to secrecy by Brian; if one peep of this gets out and it especially gets back to Paul, I'm as much as a dead man."

"Lips are zipped," Shaun answered. "So what's the big secret?"

Sly looked around, making sure no one was in earshot, and then beckoned the two women over, whispering in the ear of each.

"Oh no he didn't!" Mariah cried, beginning to laugh.

"He certainly did. And yours truly will be filming the great event with his camera phone."

"That is so _classic_ Brian," Shaun giggled.

"I still think the guy has a secret death wish," Sly nodded. "I also think he wants to take down extra bodies with him."

"Well, if he isn't hanging from a noose late Friday night," Mariah said, "I will seriously be shocked."

"Got to admit Paul _can _be an easy target, though," Shaun replied, giggling again.

"Certainly," Sly agreed. "Now let's just hope this 'easy target' doesn't decide to draw blood after his own bachelor party."


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46**

"Let's go, Mr. Excitement," Montana said the next morning, giving Paul a loud whack on the ass.

"Fucking hell!" he cried. "Talk about a rude awakening."

"It's your last day as a free man and we have a lot to do before the rehearsal dinner tonight. Time to get up."

"Oh I'm up all right," he leered. "How about a little quickie to jump start the day?"

Montana shook her head. "The girls are awake and dressed and there will be plenty of time for _that_ after the wedding. Come on, start shoving ass."

"Jesus, you're no fun at all."

"Go get cleaned up," she said, handing him some clothes. "We're having breakfast with your mother after the girls get dropped off at school. Then there is your luncheon at twelve thirty with Brian and Sly. And of course, the big bachelor party tonight. And you still have to pick up your suit in between. I'm getting Kira from preschool later and Mac has early dismissal at one thirty today so I can pick up their dresses."

"All that shit is getting done _today?"_

"Yes. And the rehearsal is at five, dinner at your father's at six thirty, and your party is at nine."

"I thought you stopped doing scheduling when you quit your job," Paul managed to joke, taking the clothes.

"A prospective mother and wife's work is never done," she grinned, slapping his behind again. "Now get moving, lazy bones."

_Meanwhile:_

"Once again," Brian said in the phone while spread out in his room, "they're to be there in the order I requested. The first one is to start at ten, not nine fifty five or five after ten. Ten o'clock. Then the second I want to start at ten fifteen. _Comprende?"_

Sly walked in just as he hung up the phone. "Jesus H. Christ," Brian groaned.

"What's going on, future world champion?" Sly asked cheerfully.

"Trying to explain to a cast of idiots the order of the two strippers tonight. What part of one to start at ten and the other at ten fifteen do some of these ass wipes _not_ understand?"

"You know you're asking to be killed, right?" Sly chuckled.

"Yeah, but capturing the look on PL's face when the blindfold comes off will be worth it."

"You are the epitome of evil. What made you think of this stunt to begin with, if you don't mind me asking?"

Brian shrugged and grinned. "He's just an easy target. And hey, this is mild compared to some of the shit he's pulled on _me_ over the years. And speaking of the intended victim, have you talked to him today?"

Sly shook his head. "I was about to ask you, but I guess my dear sister is probably lighting a fire under Paul just to get him out of bed. I know they're supposed to have breakfast with his mom after the kids go off to school."

The phone rang and Brian checked the Caller ID. "Aha, speak of the devil. Either it's him or your sister. I can take this." He then answered it. "Hell, Satan speaking."

"And good morning to you too," Montana laughed.

"Hey, Mon. I was just talking to your brother here. Where's the Grumpy Groom to Be?"

"Showering. Listen, Bri, could you do me a quick favor if you have some time?"

"I got all morning until the groomsmen lunch, love; make a wish and your genie will grant it."

"Paul and I are going to be pretty backed up the better part of the day and I have to get Mac from school around one thirty after I get Kira from preschool. Is there any possibility you and Sly could stop in and get the girls' things for the wedding? Everything's paid for and in my name; it just needs picked up."

"No problemo. I can take care of that in about half an hour as soon as I get my shit together. I have to go pick my suit anyway, so it works."

"Thanks. And Mariah is going to need a ride to the rehearsal tonight."

"Consider that done too. I can call Mimi and let her know, in fact."

"Thanks again. That's two things off my mind anyway. Now let me go shove dynamite up my husband to be's ass before we're late to meet his mother."

"Good luck with that, then again, maybe you'll have better luck than I ever did."

"What was all that about?" Sly asked when Brian hung up.

"Your sister wanting a couple of things. Something about picking up the kids' wedding stuff and giving Mimi a lift to the rehearsal."

"My God, you mean she's willing to put Mariah's life in _your_ hands?" Sly laughed.

"Oh, you're just a barrel of laughs, aren't you, Sylvester? To be honest, between me and PL, I'm the lesser of two evils."

"Yes, I've heard Montana laughing about his driving now and then. Something about if a person didn't know any better, they would think it was a ninety year old woman at the wheel instead of a twenty eight year old _man."_

"She isn't kidding. Takes dude half an hour just to go two blocks. And he has the balls to say whoever gave _me_ a license must have been smoking crack? Shit. I got to wonder sometimes who he blew to get his."

"From what Montana's told me, thank goodness he isn't driving tomorrow."

"No, that would be yours truly. Only he doesn't know it yet."

"You're really hell bent on torturing this guy, aren't you?"

"As I said, easy target."

"Anyway, did Montana tell you where to go to get the girls' stuff?"

"Yeah, and something about it already being paid for and shit. We just have to give her name."

"No offense, Bri, but you and my sister look nothing alike."

"Very fucking funny, Sly. Come on, we got to get moving if I'm going to get that done for your sister and other stuff before the lunch thing."


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47**

"Ugh," Shaun groaned as she and Mariah began another batch of tissue flowers.

Mariah gave her a look. "What?"

"Of all days to start my period, right before the damn wedding. My weekend is ruined."

"Yeah, talk about bad timing. Hey, do you remember when Montana's party is supposed to start tonight?"

"Around nine; I think that's when Paul's is too. Why?"

"I'm supposed to ride with Brian to the rehearsal thing and he's dropping me off afterwards. I wanted to make sure I knew what time to be at the party. Wonder what Tasha has in store?"

"Not what Brian has for Paul, that's for sure," Shaun replied, beginning to laugh.

"Lord, I hope not, if Tasha values her life."

"Well, you know what a clown our future champion is. Our party will be dull in comparision, probably the usual girl stuff."

"I know one thing. I'm sick of making Kleenex flowers already."

"You and I both, girl. I think I'll see these things in my sleep for the next year. How many are we up to?"

"A hundred and fifty at last count."

"Defintiely time for a break then. I'm ravenous anyway; what about you?"

"I think we earned ourselves a large pizza with the works," Mariah nodded. "My treat."

"Now there is an offer I can't refuse. I'll go get the menus out of the drawer."

_Across town:_

"Oh, aren't you adorable in your little dresses," Sly teased as Brian came out of the shop, toting Mac and Kira's dresses.

"You know for the right amount of money, I can bribe either Zeke or PL to slit your throat, right?"

"According to Paul, it's _you_ that usually does, eats or says just about anything for money."

"You're also lucky I like both you and your sister. If I knew this is what Montana meant when she wanted me to pick up the kids' things, I'd taken a pass and had Mimi do it. Now I have to ride all over town with two dresses hanging in the back of my fucking car. Jesus Christ. Like people don't think I'm gay already? I swear, I think PL put your sister up to this."

"Maybe he did, but be thankful she didn't ask Zeke. Speaking of the big man, is he still coming to the party tonight?"

"Oh hell yeah. Dude is looking forward to it. If I didn't know better, I'd think he enjoys scaring the piss out of PL."

"I take it that Paul doesn't…." Sly began.

"Nope. Can't have a bachelor party without the groom showing up, can we?"

"Good point. You know, he may look scary, but he's actually a pretty nice guy. Even Dad got a kick out of him."

"Try telling PL that. He's convinced Zeke's going to eat him or something. I keep telling dude Zeke isn't really into Mexican food. He's more into Asian."

"In that case, someone better hide Jimmy tonight," Sly joked.

"Nah, it will be cool. I think if anyone scares anyone else, it will probably be more Shannon than Zeke."

"Wait, he's still coming even though he was released?"

"Oh yeah. He just rolled into town last night, in fact. He's got a couple of dudes that run the tattoo joint anyway. He and PL have been buddies for awhile and Shan said wild buffaloes wouldn't keep him from coming."

"This should be one interesting party. Wonder how Paul's breakfast date went?"

"Oh, we'll probably hear all about it at the luncheon, Sly. PL will give us the whole monologue about how his _mami _thinks this will be the last time she'll see him alive, how he should chuck it all and finish his education, how Montana is such a nice _senorita_ and he shouldn't put her and the girls through so much worry, all that happy shit. This thing will basically be a groom's bitchfest."

"And we get a nice present," Sly laughed.

"Yeah, knowing PL, they'll probably be gift cards to Taco Bell or something. That's okay; he's getting his tonight, especially if I find out he was behind Mon asking me to pick up these dresses."

"Which reminds me," Sly looked at his watch. "We have exactly twenty minutes to get there. We better shift ass."

_Meanwhile:_

"Well, at least the lunch will be easier to endure than the hell I went through this morning," Paul said on the phone, heading toward the restaurant.

"Did you get your suit?" Montana asked.

"Yes, dear. While on the subject, it's going to be a hoot to see Spanky with two dresses in his car."

"Paul, really, don't heckle him. He was nice enough to do that favor for me. And he's picking Mariah up for the rehearsal tonight."

"My God, woman, why not just put Mimi's life in danger? Have you ever _been_ in a car with Spanky? I'm surprised your brother is still breathing as many times he's ridden around with him. Spanky drives like the hounds from hell are after him."

"Well, at least it's good to know he doesn't create a four-car traffic jam behind him going up a hill," Montana giggled.

"You're a real comedian, sweetheart. I will let you know that I do the speed limit. Not below or not above. The _actual_ speed limit. And my driving record is spotless."

"Not bad for a guy twenty eight going on ninety. Look, I have to get the girls in about an hour and I have a few things I need to check on first. Have fun at your lunch. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"I can't," he laughed. "I got a heavy date to get married tomorrow, remember?"


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48**

"And now the moment before tomorrow's main event has arrived," Brian announced cheerfully. "So far, we survived the bitchfest–err, groom's luncheon; yeah, that's right–the rehearsal to make sure said groom doesn't make an ass of himself tomorrow, and the lovely dinner that followed. Now we can all cut loose and get stupid just as the ladies across town are doing."

"Speak for yourself about getting stupid," Paul said. "Are you done bagging on me now? Not make an ass of myself indeed. More like that rehearsal was for _you_ to make sure you don't forget the damn ring."

"It isn't all bad, PL; just think, this time tomorrow night, you're going to be a married man again and on your way to getting laid. You _do_ remember what getting laid is, right?"

Paul rewarded him with a whack on the head as the others howled with laughter. "Of course, dipshit; I've been practicing for months. Not that it's any of your business anyway."

"Oh yeah, I think he and Shaun told me about the locker room incident that last time you and Montana argued," Sly nodded.

"Fucking hell, is _nothing_ sacred with you, Spanky?"

"Hey, I didn't know about you and her getting it on until I got it from Shaun and Mimi. I was even surprised, because you aren't exactly known for whipping your buddy down there out just anywhere. And speaking of suprises, you're really going to enjoy the one we have for you in about another fifteen minutes," Brian replied.

"_Oquela. _This should be good."

"Even better, you'll be blindfolded," Sly grinned.

"You all just enjoy torturing me, don't you?"

"Hey, you're the one that's a kinky freak anyway," Brian said.

"Like you've never done anything kinky in your life, dude."

"Besides, see it as retaliation for putting Montana up to having me pick up the kids' dresses, dopefuck."

"You are a vindictive, evil little man," Paul shook his head.

"No, I just play one on TV."

Sly produced a black piece of cloth. "Now, let the real fun begin."

_Meanwhile:_

Montana giggled with embarrassment as the young male stripper performed a seductive dance for her while the women around her whistled and hooted. She may not have minded the idea of Paul having one at _his_ party, but she hoped he wouldn't open a vein over this.

Sure, this guy was young and fairly attractive, but there was only one man for Montana, and _that _man she would be marrying in less than twenty four hours and become a mother figure to his two young daughters.

But right now, it seemed she was the target of private dance by a total stranger.

She breathed a sigh of relief when it was finally over, sharing drinks with some of the other women and doing the usual corny games.

"My God, making veils out of toilet paper?" Mariah turned up her nose and laughed. "Where did Tasha get these goofy ideas? Like Shaun and I haven't seen enough paper making those damn flowers the last couple of days."

"I bet the guys aren't doing this," Shaun added, nodding. "This stuff looks familiar; did Tash by any chance steal this from the restroom back there?"

"Probably," Montana chuckled. "Tasha has this saying, 'If it's free, it's for me.' I guess that meant five fingering the restroom toilet paper supply."

"I hope she left some back there," Shaun replied. "I think the cosmopolitans I just drank are about to make a reappearance. I'll be right back."

"TMI." Mariah made another face. "So how did you like the 'floor show', Mon?"

"It was….interesting," Montana replied, blushing.

"Yeah, he was hot. I'd do him in a minute."

"Given the opportunity, you'd do _Brian_ too," Marylin laughed.

"Shut up!" Mariah laughed back, giving Marylin a playful slap on the head. "Maybe if I was dead drunk, which won't be anytime soon, by the way."

Montana nodded. "Rehab has done you well."

"It has," Mariah agreed. "I mean, here we are in this kind of place, and I haven't had the urge to drink even once. You know, I think getting busted for that whole bonfire mess did me good, weird as it sounds."

"And just think," Montana replied. "You'll actually remember my wedding tomorrow."

"And your party tonight," Mariah toasted her and Marylin with her Coke. "Life can't get any better than this. At least sober, I might actually stay out of trouble."

_At the bachelor party a short time later:_

"Having a good time, PL?" Brian yelled over the loud music.

"I'd have a better time if I could see what the fuck was going on," Paul replied, indicating the blindfold. "Get this damn thing off of me."

"Then you wouldn't having half as much fun," Brian said and then couldn't help laughing his ass off as he saw Sly taping the whole thing while the busty woman writhed in Paul's lap, her chest in his face.

"This sucks. I got what is probably a hot woman in my lap, and you assclowns won't let me see what's going on."

"Better bring in the next one, then," Brian laughed. "Looks like you might get a stiff one if this goes on any longer and we can't have your bride finding that out."

"Very funny. Come on, get this off; I want to see what's happening."

"What, and ruin the surprise? No way, homeboy."

"I think I have an idea what the surprise is, Spanky. I already _feel_ it."

"Oh, that's just the appetizer, dude. The 'main course' of sorts is coming up right now."

Sly barely restrained himself from laughing, motioning for the other guys to keep quiet as well while Brian beckoned the woman away and motioned for the next stripper to come over, putting his finger on his lips for them to keep quiet and do their routine.

Paul could hear gasps and snickers as the next stripper performed, first feeling up the groom off and on before doing a lap dance of their own.

It hadn't taken him long to realize something wasn't right as it had been with the first stripper. When he took a quick feel of his own…..it definitely wasn't right.

"**SPANKY, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?" **Paul bellowed, managing to knock the male stripper out of his lap before ripping off the blindfold, the club full of laughter and whistles.

Brian was doubled over in hysterical laughter, Sly not missing a moment with taping the whole thing.

"I'm going to fucking kill you," Paul continued, hot on his best friend's tail as Brian took off running around the building.

The laughter grew louder, but it was now aimed at the groom chasing down his best man. And Sly kept the film rolling. It was an interesting party indeed.

_The early morning hours:_

Montana had arrived home shortly after midnight; though her bachelorette party was relatively tame, she was tired.

Paul's mother had stayed with the girls and they were now long asleep. Montana checked on the two small sleeping figures before going to bed herself. Though tired, she couldn't sleep right away, so she picked up a book to read for awhile.

A short time later, she heard chattering in Spanish downstairs, followed by laughter. Montana looked at the clock and saw it was three thirty, not believing she'd been engrossed in her book that long.

_Thank goodness it's a late wedding tomorrow, _she thought before hearing familiar feet stomp up the stairs.

"Will you quiet down?" Montana asked when Paul came in the room. "You sounded like a team of horses coming up here and I don't want the girls waking up."

"Be lucky I came home and didn't call you for bail money instead," he replied.

"Why, what happened?"

"Let's just say Spanky almost didn't live long enough to see the wedding tomorrow, never mind the main event at Unforgiven."

Montana began to giggle. Evidently Brian _had_ pulled it off after all.

"What the hell is so funny….wait a minute! You _knew _about this whole thing, didn't you?"

She nodded, still giggling.

"Fucking hell. I should have known something was up when you didn't get pissed off about the idea of strippers being there."

"Paul, it wouldn't have mattered if _both_ of them had been women. You came home to me, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but who else knew about this? _Mami_ no doubt did; she got a laugh out of it too."

"Just a few of the girls," Montana shrugged.

"And now half of the fucking roster on top of that. My life is over," he groaned, collapsing beside her. "Congratualtions, Spanky, I am now the laughingstock of the locker room. I'm still going to kill his ass."

"Save the killing for another time," she responded. "Just think, this time tomorrow night, it will be just you and I heading for sunny Mexico."


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 49**

"What are you doing?" Montana asked the next morning as she set down Paul's breakfast and noticed him engrossed in something.

"Figuring out a way to get even with fucking Brian for that stunt he pulled last night. I figured since death isn't an option, something else should be done."

"Paul, really. Both of you are pushing thirty years old; isn't it time to grow up?"

"Hey, I wasn't the one who hired a male stripper for a_ bachelor _party to embarrass the shit out of somebody. On top of that, Spanky never told me he invited fucking Ezekiel. Have you _seen _that dude? He'd scare Satan and stared a damn hole in me practically all evening."

"I have and so has Daddy, who happens to like him. Look at it this way, you both got embarrassed at some point yesterday. I could almost imagine him picking up the girls' dresses and driving around town with them hanging in the back of the car."

"Oh yeah, he did shit a bitch about that. Then again, pale green isn't exactly his color. You would need more of either Pepto Bismol pink or baby shit orange."

"You are terrible," Montana chuckled.

"So what time is this thing again today?"

"I hope to hell that is just one of your jokes," she chided. "If not, it's five o'clock and your behind better be there if you want to live."

"Yessum." He gave her a look and laughed.

"I mean it, Paul. Today is not a day for you to be goofing off."

"_Oquela. _Jesus, woman, have you forgotten I went through this once before?"

"Yes, and Lord rest her soul, Reggie probably had to remind you too."

"Before or after she was puking up a lung in the bushes?"

Montana stared him down. "That was not funny. That poor woman was nauseated from carrying beautiful little Mackenzie because someone couldn't keep it in his pants."

"Oh sure, blame the Mexican dude. It takes two to tango, love. But at least we don't have to worry about that problem this time around…..do we?"

"No. Speaking of which, it's gotten too quiet upstairs. I better go check and see what's going on with those girls before I take them to get their hair done."

"Be thankful they're not like Spanky and practically burning the place down trying to figure out if they can really light farts."

Montana shook her head. "I don't even want to _know_ about that one."

_Meanwhile:_

"You sure this suit will be all right for tonight?" Jack Hayes wondered. "What about this tie?"

"Oh, for Pete's sake, Jack," Dotty shook her head. "You are such a worrywart. You are going to be absolutely dashing."

"I'm giving away my baby girl. I can't believe it."

"You've waited all your life for this moment ever since she was born. And to think you're going to get two lovely granddaughters as a bonus. He's a nice man, Jack. You have nothing to worry about."

He nodded. "And he has some colorful friends, I can assure you that."

"They seem like very nice boys. The little blond one, what's his name? The one that also hangs around the big bla–"

"Brian," Jack cut in. "He's been Paul's best friend for years. As for Zeke, he's a pretty decent fellow. Over here from Guyana. He just _looks_ scary."

"Could have fooled me." Dotty shuddered.

He sighed. "I still can't get over it. My sweet little Montana Naomi, a bride. Her mama would have been proud."

"I know, darling. She would have been very proud the way both of those kids turned out, not to mention loved Logan and those little girls to pieces."

"Montana's adopting Mackenzie and Kira, you know," Jack replied with pride in his voice.

"Oh? I didn't know that," Dotty said.

"She sure is. I guess they sat down and talked about it, given his profession, you know. God forbid something should happen to him, and unless she adopted them, she really wouldn't have any say where they would have gone. I guess they would go to their grandparents, but they're getting along in years too. So it was smart for Montana to start the adoption process."

"Oh, those poor babies," Dotty answered sympathetically. "They've had it so rough. Losing their mother so young, their dad trying to raise them himself while he worked."

"I think that's why they tend to be mature for their ages, Dotty. But now things are going to get a little better now that they'll have a mama again, at least in another six hours anyway."

"And who knows," she added, "maybe another year or so, they may have a little brother or sister come along."

"Don't push it, Dot. He and my daughter haven't even gotten married yet."

_A short time later:_

"Wow, you never told me you were a fashion genius," Montana praised when she saw the assembly of Paul's clothes on the bed. "Everything matches to the smallest detail."

"It isn't too much green?" he wondered. "I kind of wanted it all to coordinate, but not overdo it."

"Actually, it's perfect, and a black suit goes with everything. Where did you get the cuff links, though?"

"Wedding present from _Mami," _Paul replied. "_This_ wedding of course," he hastily added after seeing her eyebrows raised. "So you saw mine; let me see yours."

"Oh no, mister. Nice try, but you if anyone should know it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding."

"What? I'm looking at you now."

"You know what I mean. You'll see plenty tonight."

"Yep, I'll see plenty all right." He gave her a playful pinch on the ass.

"Easy, horny toad," she laughed. "There's still little pictures around. Of course, the challenge now is keeping them settled down once they've gotten their hair done."

"Can't you just wash their hair and curl it after they've had their baths?"

"They've already had their baths and this is _our wedding. _It's a special day and I'm not having them look like savages."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. There could be worse things, like Brian showing up in toe socks."

"Don't give him any more ideas," Montana laughed. "He just might."

She looked at the bedside clock. "I better get moving if we're going to make the appointment. We need to be down there by at least three and I want to be back before then."

"What takes you women so damn long to get ready? Just jump in the shower, wash your ass, get dressed, be done. Fifteen minutes max."

Montana rolled her eyes and sighed. "I guess you forgot from the last time the bride is the centerpiece." She kissed his cheek. "I'll see you later. Don't burn the house down."


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter 50**

"Come on, _nina, _stay still," Mac's grandmother said as she arranged the headpiece. She had been dressing the girls, and they had been a handful.

"It's itchy, _Abuelita," _Mac whined, trying to dig at an offensive spot.

"No digging! My gosh, child, you are just like your _papi. _I just got your sister settled and now you're acting up."

"Why do we have to wear these dumb dresses?"

"They're yucky," Kira added.

"Because your _papi_ is getting married and you're going to have a new _mami. _You need to look nice."

"Can't we just wear regular nice clothes?" Mac asked.

"No. This is a special day, and it's for special clothes. _Papi_ and Montana spent good money for these pretty dresses and it's only for one night."

"We got to wear this _all night?" _Kira wondered.

"Just until everything's over," the grandmother replied.

"Eww, that will be forever," Mac wrinkled her nose.

"Now you girls be good. Logan has to wear special clothes too and you haven't heard him fussing."

"Logan's a _boy_; he gets to wear pants," Mac said. "And no dumb flowers in his hair."

"But look how pretty you are. My precious little jewels. Come on; let's go show you off."

_The bride's room:_

"My goodness," Dotty sighed upon seeing Montana, "you are absolutely beautiful, dear."

Montana turned and smiled, giving the older woman a brief hug. "Hi, Dot. How's Daddy?"

"I think he's in worse shape than the bride, and he's only giving her away. You should have seen your father carrying on all day, wondering if this went with that, if his shoes were shined all right, if he looked old, and everything else on this green earth. Good lord, one would have thought _he_ was the one getting married!"

"Well, he didn't exactly have this opportunity at Sly's wedding. The only difference is that our captive audience will be much smaller."

Dotty nodded while fixing the arrangement in Montana's hair. "I always liked smaller weddings; they're so elegant and more intimate. Never saw the fuss in these big gala ones like your father told me about Sylvester and Tasha having. You know, Harold and I were married at the courthouse and then went out to dinner. We were only nineteen then, married for thirty five years before cancer took him from me. I thought I would be lost after Harry died and then I met your father at that widowed group."

"Well, I must say Daddy's been much happier since he's been with you too," Montana smiled.

"He had it so rough, raising you and Sylvester alone after losing Naomi," Dotty sighed.

"But he made it," Montana replied. "Daddy could have laid down, been defeated by his limitations and felt sorry for himself, but he didn't. You know, Dot, I see a lot of him in Paul too. Neither ones of them will back down from a challenge. Just like Daddy, he lost his children's mother unexpectedly too, but still continued to raise them despite those circumstances. I really think Reggie would have been proud of how well those girls have turned out because of their dad being in their lives, even though it wasn't always easy for him."

"Your mother would have been proud of you too," Dotty smiled at her. "Those little girls are just lovely and you adopting them is the most noble thing any woman could do outside of having her own children."

She handed Montana her bouquet. "So are you ready for your big moment?"

Montana gave a quick sigh and smiled confidently. "Let the main event begin."

_The groom's room:_

Paul had just finished giving himself the once over and had bent over to tie one of his shoes when he felt someone grab his ass. He let out a loud yelp, getting Sly's attention.

"Looking good, PL!" Brian laughed, giving it a playful slap as Sly chuckled.

"You're really asking to get your head ripped off and used for a bowling ball, aren't you, Midget?" Paul asked. "While I'm at it, I may rip off your dick too, especially after that shit you pulled last night."

"Go ahead, you could probably use the extra two and a half inches I got on you for your wedding night anyway. Then again, I wouldn't have anything to tap that fine ass of yours."

"Dude, come on; this is my wedding. Could you knock off the gay references for at least _one _day?"

"Hey, who can resist an ass like that sticking out in the breeze? It isn't like anyone could miss it or anything."

Brian turned to Sly. "I'm telling you, Sly, this is one dude that could make even the straightest man on earth gay in five minutes or less."

Sly laughed heartily. "Oh, I'm sure."

"Thanks a lot, Spanky; why not just tell the damn world?" Paul gave him an annoyed look.

"Don't worry, I already did. Anyway, I'm going for a smoke before bell time if anyone is looking for me."

Sly raised an eyebrow. "Uh, you know this is a church, right?"

"Only Brian would go out for a smoke in front of a church." Paul shook his head. "Hell, with no sense of shame he has, if he had his way, he'd do it naked too."

"Yep," Brian agreed. "I'm out. Be back in about ten unless things get underway before then."

"Lose that ring and you _will _lose your head," Paul warned, watching him exit.

_A few moments later:_

"Oh look at you two; such little living dolls!" Montana gasped with delight upon spotting Mac and Kira. "Your grandma did such a good job."

"This is yucky," Kira complained.

"Yeah, we look goofy," Mac agreed. "How long do we have to wear this stuff and carry these dumb baskets? These flowers on my head itch."

"You do not look goofy, and you can take the flowers off at the reception."

Mac brightened. "Promise?"

Montana smiled down at her. "I promise. And you don't have to carry the baskets anymore when the wedding is over."

"YAYYYY!!" they cried in unison.

"Okay, now go back with your grandma until you're told it's starting. I have to finish here."

_Outside:_

"Oh, that's attractive," Mariah said, flopping down beside Brian. "Nothing like smoking in front of a church."

"Be thankful I'm not smoking _inside_ one," he countered. "Aren't you divine in all your frills. For a second there, I didn't recognize you, Mimi. You actually look like a woman."

"Keep it up and one of these heels will be firmly planted in your ass."

"Jesus, is everyone out for a piece of me today? First PL wants my head, now you're after my ass."

"Yeah, I heard about the bachelor party and how he chased you around the building." She dug in her handbag. "Shit, I was going to join you for a smoke, but I loaned Shaun my lighter earlier and forgot to get it back."

He flipped his own lighter. "Allow me to light one for a fellow rebel."

"Hey, gee, thanks a lot, BK. This thing hasn't even started yet and I'll be glad when it's over."

"Well, at least they're letting us do casual at the reception once the photo sessions and all the other shit is over."

Cars passed by, their occupants staring at the two sitting on the front steps openly enjoying a cigarette and dressed in wedding attire.

"**WHAT?" **Brian yelled at one car, arms outstretched, before turning back to Mariah. "Jesus Christ, you'd think people never saw anyone fucking smoke before."

"Must be the wedding finery," Mariah joked, taking another drag.

"Hey Smokey One and Smokey Two," Tasha called to them. "I hate to interrupt your fun, but the big event is about to get underway."

"Ah, the time has come," Brian crushed out his cigarette and helped up Mariah. "Let's go watch PL make a total ass out of himself."

"The sooner, the better," Mariah nodded. "These shoes are killing me."


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter 51**

The wedding had begun with Shaun performing her solo as Mac and Kira came down the aisle tossing green-tinged white rose petals. Paul, Brian, and Logan were already in place.

Mariah then made her way down the aisle, followed by Tasha. When Tasha finally went to her place, everyone rose.

Montana slowly made her way down, Jack and Sly on each side of her. Both Dotty and Paul's mother dabbed away tears at the sight of her, and the groom looked on the verge of crying himself, she looked so beautiful.

Sly then took his place beside Brian. Jack gave away his beloved daughter, giving Paul a sly wink and muttering, "Take care of my little girl."

"I will, sir," he muttered back.

The rest of the ceremony had gone off without a hitch, though it had appeared that Paul had zoned out for most of it. Maybe it was nerves or even boredom, but he hadn't really paid attention to what was going on until he felt a sharp poke in his ribs.

"Dude," Brian said. "Earth to PL. You taking this woman or aren't you?"

Paul snapped to attention. "Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. No problem."

Everyone, including the minister, broke out laughing, save for Paul's father and stepmother. His father leaned forward, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. His stepmother rolled her eyes. Could this boy embarrass them any further?

"Good enough," Montana smiled. More laughter.

The comedy had continued when Brian put on an act of misplacing the rings, with Paul putting on his kill face.

"Never mind, I found them!" Brian announced, handing them over in the midst of more laughter.

"Of all people I could have chosen for best man, I had to pick the weirdest guy in the company," a relieved Paul muttered, barely restraining from laughing himself.

"Can't live without me, dude. Now be a good boy and exchange your rings."

_After the wedding:_

"Now that was what I call one good ceremony!" Shaun grinned as they all headed outside to greet the new couple.

"Sure was," Marylin nodded in agreement. "Of course, nothing is ever dull around Paul."

"Ladies, I don't think I'd ever laughed so hard in my life," Eve added. "If I didn't know any better, I'd thought this was a theater production instead of an actual wedding."

"I don't know what was funnier," Maria said. "Paul zoning out or that act Brian put on of losing the rings."

"Yeah, he stole that act from _me_," Chavo replied. "I did that on the Vickie and Edge wedding angle, remember?"

"Oh, don't be a spoilsport, Chavito," Lilian laughed. "Besides, we heard this three years ago when you claimed Paul stole the Cruiserweight title from you."

"He did," Chavo protested.

"Too late now, title's retired," Marylin responded. "Oh, get the rice ready, guys; here they come!"

The couple laughed as they were pummeled with rice on the way to their car. Guests then scrambled for the cars; Tasha, Logan and Mariah riding with Sly and the girls going with Paul's mother.

Paul knew immediately something was up when he spotted Mariah giggling as she got into Sly's car. "Uh…who is driving us?" he finally asked slowly.

"Greetings, happy couple," Brian said cheerfully, bowing ceremoniously toward the car in front of them. "My name is Brian and I will be your driver to your lovely reception this evening."

"Fucking hell," Paul groaned. "Of all people, we get the WWE's version of Mario Andretti."

"Oh, come on, dude, you'll enjoy it."

"Are you sure we'll arrive there alive and in one piece?"

"Sure, we'll even have our own bodyguard."

"_You got Ezekiel in there too?" _Paul went white. "Oh God."

"Come on, Paul; it's not that bad," Montana soothed. "Besides, if we have to detour through that one bad neighborhood, we'll have nothing to worry about."

"Uh….Zeke doesn't happen to be hungry, does he?" Paul asked.

"Oh no. I got the dude five Big Mac meals on the way here," Brian grinned. "He's good until dinner."

"Thank Christ….I think."

"Now let's get shoving. Can't have a reception without the bride and groom."

_At the reception that evening:_

Mariah kicked off her shoes, letting out a sigh. "Finally. My feet were killing me. Now I wish they'd finish these pictures already."

"You and I both," Tasha grunted, pushing off her own shoes. "I wear heels to work, but these things are torture."

"Yeah, and Montana wore flats. What's the justice in that?"

"Mom, I gotta go to the bathroom," Logan announced.

"Make it fast, scout, and don't mess up that suit. They're taking more pictures as soon as Paul and Montana get here. And tell Daddy to bring me something to drink if you see him."

A short distance away, Mac was scratching her head around the flower halo.

"Mackenzie Regina!" her grandmother scolded. "I said not to dig!"

"It's itchy," Mac complained. "And _Mami _said we can take them off when the wedding was over."

"They have to do more pictures first," her grandmother replied.

"And Sissy's picking her nose again," Mac added.

"Kira Buena, stop that. That's dirty."

"I was just scratching," Kira protested. "No picking."

"Well, ask for a tissue when you do that. My goodness, both of you, just like your _papi."_

"We are _Papi's_," Kira said proudly.

"And here they come now!" Mac said, excited, seeing Paul and Montana arrive.

Soon, Brian made his own arrival, being carried in by Zeke. Paul gave his best man an odd look.

"What?" Brian asked as Zeke put him down. "My damn feet were killing me. Hey, Zeke, I forgot my smokes. Think you can fetch them from the car for me?"

The big man nodded. "Yessir."

At the next table, Chavo turned to Bam as they watched the wedding party pose for final pictures. "How come you don't do that kind of shit for me and Vickie?"

"Give me a raise, and I might," Bam replied nonchalantly.

_Later:_

As the reception was fully underway and everyone was now dressed in comfortable casual wear, Brian his water glass brought everyone's attention up to the front of the room. "I'd like to make a toast," he said clearing his throat.

"Oh shit, here we go," Paul groaned good-naturedly.

"You know, PL and I have bagged on each other for many, many years. And sometimes, we beat each other's ass."

"Sometimes," Paul laughed. "Only I beat yours more than you did mine."

"Sure you did, dude. Keep telling yourself that," Brian grinned. "But in all honesty, I didn't think this guy would ever settle down again after Reggie passed. Then came along the lovely Montana. She loves you, the kids love her, you love her, you make her happy. Everybody wins. So here's to years of happiness, lots of sex, and ten more black haired babies."

"_Ten?" _Paul asked.

"Got to make it an even dozen, dude. You want a big family and you already have two. Congratulations, guys." Everyone applauded and went back to their meals.

Jack turned to Paul's mother and Dotty. "I will say one thing," he grinned. "I don't think my little girl is going to have a dull life from here on in."


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter 52**

"That bartender guy is really hot," Marilyn said. "You should play up to him, Shaun."

"Girl, are you kidding? Given my track record with men, I probably wouldn't progress very far. I'm lucky Paul gave me the time of day and even he's married now. Besides, a guy like that either has a woman or married himself."

"Won't know till you try."

"Why don't _you _hit on him then?" Shaun asked.

"Sure, and have Keith kill my ass."

"You're still with that loser? Has he even gotten a job yet?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, he did." Marylin began to laugh. "With TNA."

"Oh living hell, I bet you two have some fine conversations."

"We do." Marylin laughed again. "Besides, we know who works for the better company."

"Right."

"Here he comes!" Marylin said, indicating the bartender. "Now, sit up, smile and put on the Shaun Charm. Come on, what better chance to take than at a wedding?"

_In another area of the room:_

Mariah successfully bounced a quarter into a glass, then pointed at Brian. "Get to drinking," she ordered.

He stared at the glass of soda. "Aren't we supposed to do this with beer?"

"Normally, yes. But this is the sober version. Get to drinking."

He did, letting out a loud belch afterwards.

"Jesus, Brian," Mariah made a face as others turned to stare. "Were you rasied by wolves?"

"No, that would be the groom. PL's got a lot more fur than I do. He's a razor company's dream, or nightmare, depending on whom you asked."

Mariah shook her head and bounced another quarter, missing this time. "Shit," she muttered.

Brian then took a turn, hitting his target.

"Ha! Drink, bitch," he ordered. "and don't swallow the quarter."

Mariah began drinking slowly, trying not to take too much carbonation at once.

"God, what's with being dainty? Never knew you to be a wuss, Mimi."

"Oh, a wuss, huh?" Mariah retorted, putting up an arm. "I'll show you wuss, mister. You and me, arm wrestling, right here, right now."

He cracked his knuckles, preparing for a challenge. "You know you're risking that arm, lady."

"Try me." Mariah wasn't one to back down from anything or anyone.

_In the front room:_

The happy couple had slow danced several times, each feeling as if the other was the only other person in the room. Montana couldn't think of a time where she had been happier, and by the end of the evening, even though many were still around to enjoy the festivities, both she and Paul were ready to head up to their suite for bed. They would be departing for Mexico the following morning.

Mac began to whine about being tired and Kira had already fallen asleep on her grandmother's lap. The girls would be spending the week with her at Paul and Montana's place while the couple were away on their honeymoon, and she prepared to take them home to be put to bed. It had been a long enough day for the little ones.

Many others were saying good-bye to the couple and wishing them well as his mother told Paul she was taking the girls home and to have a happy, safe trip.

"I will, _Mami," _he replied. "Call me if you or the girls need anything."

"As if I'd interrupt your honeymoon, _hijo!" _she gasped. "No, I think we will be fine."

His mother then left with the girls; she was barely gone when Paul began to hear a loud commotion in the back room. The noise also hadn't been lost on Montana.

"Oh, great," he groaned. "I knew this night was too damn perfect. Now I suppose I have to go break up a drunken fight."

"Do you really have to?" Montana asked as she followed him. "This is our wedding night; don't do anything stupid."

"Well, at least let us see if anyone got killed first. Hell, Zeke's back here, maybe he can deal with it instead."

"Uh….yeah. Good idea."

When they got closer, it wasn't the sound of fighting after all, but loud cheers and whistles.

"What the hell is going on?" Paul asked.

At that moment, Mariah slammed Brian's arm on the table. He let out a yell, grimaced, and rubbed his arm. Loud cheers filled the room as Shelton, Jeff, MVP and Hunter howled with laughter.

"_Arm wrestling?" _Paul began to laugh.

"Thanks, fuckface," Brian said to him. "You broke my concentration!"

"No, someone just can't admit he just got his ass handed to him by a girl," Mariah giggled.

"Bite me, Mimi. I almost had that thing won and you know it. Then fucking PL had to come in here and run his mouth. On top of that, Hunter's over on the other side of the room." He glared at Paul. "Yeah, thanks a lot, dopefuck."

"My pleasure," Paul said, still laughing.

"You got beat by a girrrrrrrrrrrrl," Mariah taunted Brian, dancing around him and rubbing his head.

MVP patted Brian's shoulder. "No shame in being beat by a lady, dude."

"I didn't ask anything out of the Power Ranger section, Montel," Brian said. "Just because Mimi beat me at some lame arm wrestling doesn't mean Zeke and I won't have _your _balls at Unforgiven."

"So at the risk of being killed by a midget, what was the prize?" Paul asked in an attempt to defer a possible war.

"Loser has to have sex with the winner," Mariah kidded.

"In your dreams too, Mimi," Brian countered.

"Actually, there was no prize," Mariah explained. "This one made the mistake of flapping his gums and calling me a wuss while playing quarters. Guess I showed who was the wuss, huh, tough guy?"

"Wait, quarters? I thought you weren't drinking anymore," Montana said.

"I'm not. We used Pepsi."

"Good girl," Paul grinned. "Very creative. And to think you beat Spanky at arm wrestling sober."

"Keep going, PL, and I'll make sure someone slips something in your food during your honeymoon so you can't get it up the entire time," Brian said. "Oh wait, I can't be that mean to Montana."

"Speaking of honeymoon," Paul smiled at his bride, "it's time for us to go."

"Yes," she agreed. "Time to begin my life with Mr. Excitement himself."


	53. Chapter 53

**Chapter 53**

"Where did you go last night?" Shaun asked the next day as she and Mariah took advantage of the brunch buffet. "Last I saw, you kicked Brian's ass at arm wrestling and was teasing the hell out of him about it. I'm surprised he didn't kill you as a result."

"Eh, I got him settled down with another game of Pepsi quarters," Mariah replied. "Went back to his room for that one."

"Pepsi quarters?" Shaun raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, it's like the drinking game quarters, only without the beer."

"Uh huh." Shaun was skeptical.

"It's really kind of fun," Mariah smiled.

"Come on, girl, you did not spend all night up in that man's room playing quarters. Fess up, what really happened?"

"Well, you know that joke about the arm wrestling prize I said to Paul?"

"Yeah, so?"

"It turned out not to be so much a joke after all."

"Oh no you didn't!" Shaun said, nearly shouting.

"Will you pipe down?" Mariah said in a low voice. "I don't need the whole universe knowing about it. And it wasn't planned; just one of those things that happened."

"So was it…." Shaun began.

Mariah cleared her throat. "Let's just say urban legend _isn't exactly _urban legend." She spread her hands out as if to describe the size of something. "And to think this is the first time I did anyone while I was _sober_ and actually enjoyed it."

"That good, huh?"

"Oh yeah."

"You know if Paul finds out about this, he's not going to let you live it down."

"Probably, but he's probably too busy right now having his own fun as a married man as we speak."

"Yeah. So you got a date with that hot bartender Marylin told me about, huh?"

"Byron? Yeah, it's just for coffee, though."

"Well, you're getting your foot in the door," Mariah nodded. "Nice to see you're dating again."

"I figure since everyone else is hooking up, I should too. And yes, it's dating, not a quarter-playing booty call like present company had."

"Hey, what's wrong with scratching each other's itch once in awhile?"

"I know you've been wanting to scratch that itch for over a year, girl. But of all times, _Paul's wedding?" _Shaun was incredulous.

"Couldn't think of a better time. Besides, I had to cash in my prize for winning the arm wrestling contest."

"I thought you said there wasn't a prize."

"There wasn't until after I beat him a few times too many at quarters too."

"You are something else, Mariah."

"Yeah, I am," she grinned. "But we can't say we haven't really lived."

_In Mexico, a few days later:_

Montana was enjoying herself immensely; she had a wonderful new husband, was in a beautiful suite overlooking the beach, and they had explored parts of the city outside of the usual tourist traps.

Outside of their exploring many attractions Paul had seen before during his tours there, it would be a week of swimming, sun, sleeping, and sex.

They had been chided by her mother in law one morning; it had been raining and they were stuck in the hotel when Montana and Paul had called home to check on the girls.

The _bebés _were fine, the older woman assured them; shouldn't they be enjoying their time alone as a new couple?

Paul had also caught up with a few friends, dialing Shaun at one point, who filled him in on her coffee date with Byron.

"Hey, that's how me and Montana started," he reassured his longtime friend. "Never know where it will go from there."

"I guess," Shaun replied. "Speaking of which, if you see Brian in a goofy mood when you get back here, be warned he and Mariah did the nasty."

"Brian's always goofy… and _what did you say?"_

"The night of your wedding," Shaun clarified. "Let's just say a quarters game that went too far."

"Oh God," Paul replied. "You don't mean that Mimi was—"

"That was the best part. She was actually sober."

"Oh. Then this will be that much more fun to bag on both of them about."

"Don't be too rough on them, _Guapo," _Shaun laughed. "Meanwhile, I will let you get back to spoiling your bride."

"Which I intend on doing, my friend; rain or no rain."


	54. Chapter 54

**Chapter 54**

Montana and Paul were back from their honeymoon for several weeks, but not without incident.

He had gotten injured in a match; luckily, it was only a sprain and he wouldn't be out for long. Montana didn't complain either, being it meant she would get to spend some extra time with her husband and she loved spoiling him.

Shortly after Mac had turned seven and Kira four, Kira had gotten chicken pox from another child in her preschool. A whiny, itchy preschooler and a pained, whiny husband would have grated on any woman's nerves, but Montana took it graciously. The good part about the whole thing was that all of the others had already suffered through chicken pox sometime in their lives, so there was no danger of Kira infecting anyone else.

"What did I do to deserve you again?" Paul asked as Montana sat dinner down in front of him.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe just being a good man?" She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Eat, you. I just checked on Kira and she's asleep."

"How is my little spotted one?" he wondered.

"As good as a four year old with chicken pox can get, I suppose. I put socks on her hands so she won't be scratching and picking."

"Oh, that should be fun. What's that last, about a week or two?"

"That's what the doctor said. I gave her some baby Benedryl to help with the itching."

"Poor kid. She's probably going nuts up there."

"Well, I put the spare TV in there and Mac's been keeping her entertained with Super Mario between homework, so I don't think she's suffering too much in that department."

"Aha, nothing like being sidelined. This inactive shit sucks for me too."

"Well, you only have a sprain, thank God. You should be good in about a couple of weeks."

"A couple weeks too long. Hey, speaking of which, Spanky dumped Bitchzilla."

"Yeah, I heard about that weeks ago. He's going out with Mariah, where have you been?"

"Wait….dude hooked up with _Mimi_ and neither of those two shits has said anything? How the hell did this happen? I know they were good friends, but—"

"Let's just say you and I weren't the only ones having fun on our wedding night," Montana cut in.

"I knew about _that _part," Paul replied. "Shaun told me. Holy shit, though, I thought it was just going to be a booty call thing until he got married. I wasn't thinking they'd actually get serious. Wait until I see his happy ass next time."

"And happy ass your little buddy is."

"Well, I will admit Mimi is a far step _up_ from Bitchzilla as far as I am concerned."

"Shaun and Byron have been seeing a lot of each other also. Looks like things are going smooth for our crowd."

"Keith got a job with TNA too. I bet he and Marylin have some hefty battles."

"I would like to be paint on the wall for one of those conversations," Montana nodded, and then yawned.

"Why don't you go lay down for a bit?" Paul suggested. "I can keep an ear out for Kira."

"Yeah, that's like the blind leading the blind. Besides, I still have to do the dishes."

"Mac and I can finish that."

"Right, you're going to do that on a sprained ankle."

"I've done things on much worse, baby," he replied. "Go lay down. You've been running your ass ragged since we got back from Mexico anyway. You haven't even been to the doctor for your B-12 shot. Between the two, no wonder you've been tired."

"I haven't been _that_ tired," she chuckled.

"You're tired. Go lay down," he repeated again.

"All right, but if your leg gets messed up because _you _aren't doing what you've been told, it's no skin off my teeth."

"Just go to bed for a couple of hours. I think the kids and I can live without you that long."

_A short time later:_

Montana lay in bed in a way grateful for the break, but at the same time, worried about other things that needed to be done and how Paul was going to accomplish anything with that injury.

He had been right about one thing, though; she had been going practically nonstop since their wedding, even accompanying him to a couple of weekend shows here and there with the girls. Montana had immediately gotten into family life after their wedding, with the highlight being that the adoption of Mac and Kira had become official on Kira's birthday. She really was their mother now.

Then Montana's father had been briefly hospitalized for a mild heart attack and her mother in law had also spent two days in the hospital being observed after a fainting spell. Happily, both had fully recovered with no lasting effects.

On top of the present situation of Paul's injury and Kira's chicken pox; in addition to being more tired than usual (which she blamed on the chaos following the wedding), she hadn't had her period yet. This didn't concern Montana in the least, being her periods were always erratic from the time she was in her late twenties and her previous one had been light. One of her aunts had gone into early menopause in her mid thirties, so she had dismissed it as that.

Still, Paul had also been right about her not having a B-12 shot since she had gotten married. Yawning, she made a mental note to call her doctor in the morning. She was due for an annual physical checkup anyway.


	55. Chapter 55

**Chapter 55**

A week later, Montana sat in the examining room of her doctor's office. She had been in the previous Friday at both Paul and Shaun's insistence, and the doctor ordered blood drawn, wondering if both Montana's B-12 and iron levels were low, as well as ordered a hormonal panel.

Now the results had come back, and she was concerned; past experience had Montana knowing that if everything was normal, the receptionist wouldn't have scheduled an appointment to have her return so soon.

Dr. Weber then came in, smiling. He had known Montana and Sly since they were teenagers and had also followed Jack while he was in the hospital. He greeted her warmly, pulling a couple of sheets out of her chart.

"So give me the bad news first," Montana said, cutting to the chase.

"That's just it," Dr. Weber smiled. "There isn't any. Your iron levels are normal, your hormone panel is also normal. Your B-12 was a little low, but nothing a shot today won't cure. But there is one little thing that has come up that could explain the changes you've been feeling over the last several weeks."

"What is it."

"My dear lady," he smiled wider. "You are going to be a mother."

"I'm….._pregnant?"_

"Absolutely. Of course, we will need to examine you to determine exactly how far along you are, but your blood test is positive for pregnancy."

"But I just got married a little over a month ago, I'm almost thirty five; aren't I a little—"

"Montana, you're still quite young. There's women in their forties and even early fifties that are patients of mine having children."

"This is certainly something that is going to throw my husband for a loop."

"Well, let's examine you just to see how far along you are for starters."

_That must have been some honeymoon, _Montana thought as she lay back on the table.

_That evening:_

"You never did tell me what the doctor said," Paul said.

"Actually….I wanted to wait until the girls were in bed before I discussed that with you."

He was alarmed. "It's that serious?"

"Depends on what you mean by 'serious'," she sighed.

"Mon, whatever it is, just get it out. I'll be here to get you through it; you know that."

"Will you feel that way when a third addition to our family comes along?"

"Wait…._what?"_

"Yeah. I'm pregnant."

"_Oquela, _I know we had a great time in Mexico, but holy hell, this is awesome!"

"That's the other part I needed to discuss. It wasn't exactly on our honeymoon. I happen to be slightly further along than that."

"When the hell then did…oh fuck me sideways, _the make up sex in the locker room in Denver?"_

Montana nodded. "That would be my guess. We were pretty careful the rest of the time up to the wedding."

"Jesus. I hope this kid is never curious about where they were conceived. I don't think I'm going to live this down as it is, especially once Spanky gets wind of it."

She laughed. "I don't think either of us will hear the end of it up till the baby is born."

"But you're okay though?" He put a hand on her stomach. "I mean, being around Kira when she had that chicken pox shit—"

"I'm fine. The doctor said that shouldn't affect me at all, but the OB where I was referred is going to keep an eye on me the first few months just to make sure."

"Wow, another kid."

"You'd really be floored if this was another girl," Montana chuckled, knowing he was thrilled about the coming addition.

"Oh God, a house full of women as it is. I don't think I could take any more estrogen flying around."

"Get used to it," she nodded, "because for the next six months or so, you're going to have a cranky, bloated wife before this one decides to make their debut into the world."

"Wouldn't be the first time for me. I got two proofs of that sleeping upstairs."


	56. Chapter 56

**Chapter 56**

"Gee, PL, didn't waste any time, did you?" Brian gave him a playful slap on the back. "Nice to know after all these years your tadpoles are still strong swimmers."

Paul knew exactly what he was talking about. "Who the hell ran their mouth to you?"

"Mimi, who else?" Brian then counted on his fingers. "Montana talked to Shaun, Shaun talked to Kelly, Kelly told Stephanie, Steph told Hunter, Hunter told Shawn, Shawn told Chris, Chris told Randy, Randy told Phil, Phil told Charlie, Charlie told Shelton, Shelton talked to Dave, Dave told Montel, Montel talked to Jeff, Jeff told Evan, Evan told Matt, Matt gave Tiffany the details, Tiffany told Maria, Maria told Michelle and Natalya, Natalya told Victoria while Michelle told Eve, Eve told Lilian, Lilian told Mike, Mike told Santino, Santino told Beth, Beth talked to Marylin while Mickie and Kofi overheard her, Kofi told Mimi, and Mimi told me, Zeke, Bam, Curt, Zack, Chavo, and Vickie. The end."

"Fucking hell, why didn't Montana and Shaun just tell the whole damn roster and save everyone the trouble? No wonder people have been looking at me weird all day. Jesus, Spanky, we haven't even told the girls yet."

"What are you waiting for, a gold engraved invitation? You ought to know by now you can't hide this shit forever, PL."

"Thanks to the big mouths of both wife and friend, I certainly can't now."

"It's her first kid, what do you expect? Damn, even Reggie did the same thing when she was having Mac."

"The only difference being the whole fucking roster didn't know about it until she started to show."

"Oh yeah, like puking in the bushes at your wedding reception wasn't an indication." Brian cleared his throat. "Shit, it's nothing to be ashamed about."

"Who says I'm ashamed? I hadn't planned on announcing anything until Mon and I both had time to talk to the girls. She just found out a couple of days ago. Of course, that idea is shot in the head. Anyway, I got to find out if I have a match tonight or I'm stuck sitting on my ass counting tiles again."

"I can talk to the bosses, PL, maybe get some action thrown your way."

"Thanks for the sentiment, buddy, but you got a big ass PPV match to think about. I can manage, at least for now."

"You need to do more than just 'manage,' dude; you need to get some show time, especially since you're about to be a _papi _again."

"We'll be fine, Spanky. Jesus, you act like I'm destitute. I got a raise too, remember? Plus I got enough banked away to live off of for at least the next ten years. It's just a slow period."

"All right, but the offer still stands anytime you need it, especially now."

_Meanwhile:_

Mariah gave Montana a gentle hug. "There's the mommy to be!"

"I'm guessing Shaun told you," Montana replied slowly.

"Actually, it was Kofi."

"Wait, how did _Kofi_ find out? I only told Shaun."

"Honey, you should know by now if you tell Shaun anything, you may as well take out a full page ad in the _New York Post _or the _National Enquirer."_

"Oh hell," Montana groaned. "God only knows who else she told in that case."

"By the way, Brian knows too," Mariah added.

"That's even worse. Good lord, Paul is going to throw a fit. We haven't even had time to tell the girls yet with them being in school and him back on the road. And I only found out about the baby a couple of days ago. We were going to tell the girls this weekend."

"Oh wow. If I'd known that, I wouldn't have said anything."

"Well, too late now. But it could be worse, I suppose, and besides, it isn't something that is going to be a secret for long anyway."

"So did they say how far along you really were?"

"Mmm hmm. Nine weeks."

Mariah paused for a moment, as if to figure something out. "Oh, wow! That's around the time you and Paul did it in the—"

"Do not go any further, Mariah."

"_You got pregnant in the locker room in Denver after you and Paul fought? _Wow, make up sex at its finest!"

"For the love of God, you don't listen very well, do you? And one word to your little booty call boyfriend about any of this and I will kindly have Paul snap _both_ of your necks in two."

"Nobody heard nothing from me. FYI, Brian isn't exactly a booty call either. But wow, what a place to conceive, huh?"

"Things did get a little carried away. Considering once I found out how far I was, it didn't take long to figure out that's when it happened."

"So how does he feel about all of this?"

"He was a bit shocked at first, especially after I told him how far along I was, but now he seems pretty happy about it."

"Boy or girl?" Mariah wondered.

"I think it's just a tad early to tell _that, _Mariah. But he's happy with either as long as it's healthy."

"Most men want boys, though. You know, to carry on the family name and all that happy stuff."

"Quite frankly, I'm pulling for one myself, but if it is a girl, I guess we will have to try again," Montana replied with a giggle.

"Yeah, and in that event, maybe you can go to one of those places where you can pick the baby's sex."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Mariah. I haven't even started to show with this one yet, much less anything else."


	57. Chapter 57

**Chapter 57**

"How are you feeling, babe?" Paul asked, giving Montana a kiss after a show one evening.

"Like Aladdin's lamp," she replied. Montana was now starting to show and every other person had stopped to rub her expanding belly. "Would you mind telling your friends that I am not a magic lamp to make three wishes on?"

He laughed and rubbed her middle. "Why not? It's a cute little pouch."

Montana rolled her eyes. "I'm serious, Paul. I know you think you've accomplished something and like showing me off, but God, these people act like they never saw a pregnant woman before."

"Maybe because Reggie never wanted to come with me when she was having the girls." He looked around. "Hey, where are Mac and Kira anyway?"

"With Brian," she replied.

"Oh God. You had to go to the doctor and left Tweedle Dumb and his cannibalistic bodyguard in charge? Of all people, you could have at least asked Shawn."

"Shawn's got enough on his plate with Rebecca. I would also like to think I can trust your own best friend, and the girls love him."

"Sure, the last time they were with Spanky, the got the now-infamous sex talk. And I hope he fed Ezekiel first."

"Paul, really. I know the man's face would probably crack if he smiled, but in all reality, Zeke's a very nice man. At least with him around, I won't have to worry about anyone bothering the girls."

"Good point, come to think of it. And also just to think here we are in a dressing room, you and I, all alone…." He wiggled his eyebrows and put on a goofy grin.

"Forget it. That is the kind of thing that got me in my situation in the first place, and besides, someone could come in here at any moment."

"So everything went okay at the doctor?"

She nodded. "Mmm hmm. All is well. I even got the first baby picture to show you when we get back home."

"Aha, the ever present sonogram. I went through this before with Mac and Kira. Did I ever tell you I made baby books for them?"

Montana smiled, touched by the sentiment that a man that tore it up with other men for a living would make baby books of his own children. "No, you didn't. That is so sweet."

"Yep, right up to their first sonograms and a lock of their baby hair and everything. I keep their stuff in there while they're growing up. School pictures, shit like that. I plan on keeping them up until the girls are out of high school. I might start one for this little one too." He patted her stomach.

"And knowing you, you'll use them as weapons to embarrass those poor girls in front of their boyfriends."

Paul raised an eyebrow. "I never thought of that, but now that you mentioned it…."

"Don't even think about it," she chuckled.

"Hey, did I ever show you Spanky's baby picture? Doesn't have a stitch of clothes on him. I jacked it from his mom, with her permission, of course."

"You are terrible, Paul."

"Serves him right for trying to send a naked picture of _me_ all over the internet from his cell phone for a price."

"_What?"_

"A couple of years ago. I was…" he cleared his throat, "….between women and was sort of 'relieving some tension', you could say. Little did I know Spanky was in the next room and got a shot of me in the raw–no pun intended–on his camera phone. Next thing I hear, he was on the fucking internet offering copies of 'Paul in the Raw' for five bucks apiece."

"Oh my God." Montana couldn't help but laugh.

"Come on, babe, that's not funny. He's lucky it was only a body shot and my head was cut off, or I'd cut something of _his_ off the moment I had found out about it. Lucky for me, no sites got hold of it."

"Without your head, I doubt there would have been much interest anyway."

"Exactly my point. Anyway, we visited his mom a few weeks later and she's showing me all his baby pictures. We came across one of him butt ass naked and I asked her if I could have a copy. She told me just take the one I had. Spanky would shit a brick if he knew I had that thing. Then again, maybe not; we are talking about a dude that mooned some fans last summer."

"Good lord, I don't think I even want to know about _that."_

"And to think this is the person who is watching–and perhaps corrupting–our darling little girls."

"Well, better him than someone we _don't _know. If nothing else, he's also good for laughs."

"Yeah, when he isn't embarrassing the shit out of me. I'm telling you, Mon, dude has not one ounce of shame."

"No argument here. I heard about the times you'd gone to the gay bars holding hands and getting free drinks."

"Oh fucking hell. Montana, I—"

She laughed again. "You'd go into the bar, split up, and get free drinks, and when someone hit on you, you'd say, 'See the little curly haired blond over there? I'm his.' My goodness, Paul, knew you were the adventurous type, but not _that_ adventurous. I have to admit it is quite amusing, though."

"Jesus Christ. Okay, before I ban Brian from you forever, what the hell else has he told you?"

"That you actually punched some man out at a club one night for calling him a fag." She kissed his cheek. "My brave, protective man."

"Piece of shit deserved it. It's one thing for us to bag on each other, but when outsiders try that bullshit, I'm having none of it. Same goes in the case of you and the girls too."

Montana snuggled up to him. "Nice to know we girls are protected by such a brave soul."

"Just doing my job, baby." He gently rubbed her stomach.

"And you can knock off rubbing the lamp. I'm all out of wishes today."


	58. Chapter 58

**Chapter 58**

A little later, Paul had almost literally bumped into Ezekiel on his way to get the girls from Brian, noticing an object in the big man's hand.

"Gee, uh, Zeke. I didn't know you took up smoking," he said uncomfortably. Paul didn't care what his father in law or even Montana said, the guy was just plain scary.

"I didn't, sir. Had to take it off the boss," Zeke replied.

"Hate to tell you this, man, but if you're trying to get Brian to knock off the smokes, you're kind of wasting your time. Been there, tried that, no success."

"It wasn't that, sir. I had to protect the little ones. You see, the boss was 'passing gas' as it were, and—"

"Fucking hell, Zeke, are you trying to tell me he was teaching my _daughters how to light farts?"_

The big man nodded, saying nothing.

"To think this is whom my wife left in charge. Jesus. He's tried that shit before and nearly set himself on fire."

"Won't be now, sir." Zeke held up the lighter. "At least for the moment."

"Good, hang on to that at least until I'm done ripping your boss a new one and getting my kids out of there."

"Go on in, sir."

"Hi _Papi!" _Mac and Kira said cheerfully upon seeing him.

"Hi. Hey, could you two go out with Zeke for a couple of minutes? I need to have a talk with Uncle Spanky."

He glared over at Brian as the girls nodded and left the room. "Dude, what are you trying to do, kill yourself and take my kids with you?"

"Come on, Paul, we were just goofing off. I just wanted to show them that it was possible."

"So you demonstrate lighting farts? Nice. So help me God, Spanky, if I catch one of them even trying that, I'm going to kill your ass."

"Be thankful I wasn't successful this time, dude."

"I'm also thankful Zeke got that damn lighter off of you before God knows what happened. Like I don't have enough to worry about with Montana being pregnant and another possible release list coming out without this bullshit of yours."

"Okay, okay, no more attempts at fart lighting. Next time, I'll take them to the park."

"That's more like it."

"Could you tell Zeke to bring back my lighter on your way out? I could use a smoke while thinking about what stories I haven't told your wife yet."

"You know I can put a permanent ban on you from her and the kids, right?"

"Sure you can, PL, but you won't. They all love me too much."

"You are so full of yourself," Paul laughed. "And by the way, thanks for telling Mon about the gay bar stories, you little shit."

"That was her favorite," Brian grinned. "That and the one I told her about catching you stroking off."

"Is _nothing_ sacred with you?"

"Nope. You should know that by now."

"Oquela. Anyway, enjoy your smoke and don't burn the place down. No more teaching my kids stupid shit either. We're supposed to be _role models_, after all, and lighting one's own gas hardly constitutes a good role model."

_Later:_

After a long drive home from the show, Montana had put the girls to bed (while being subjected to the nightly patting and kissing of her belly with them "saying goodnight to the baby") before sitting down in the quiet house with Paul, handing over the sonogram picture.

He studied it for a long time, turning it at several angles, eyebrows knitted.

"What's wrong?" she asked him at one point.

"Are you sure everything's okay with this kid, babe? Something here looks a little off."

"The baby's fine," she chuckled.

"Seriously? Because what I'm seeing here doesn't look like what I saw of Mac and Kira's."

"Give me that." Montana took the photo back. "Look, it's a baby, obviously. Arms, little legs, its face…"

"Then what the hell is that?" he asked, pointing to something lower on the picture.

"The same thing you have, only in miniature."

It finally hit him. "You mean this kid is a…."

"Yes," she nodded and smiled. "Say hello to your _son."_


	59. Chapter 59

**Chapter 59**

"Oh my gosh," Shaun said, excited. "a _boy?"_

Montana nodded. "A healthy little boy so far."

"Paul must be beside himself about this."

"That doesn't even _begin_ to describe it, Shaun. If you think him walking around here like he made a major accomplishment when I discovered I was pregnant was something, imagine that in tenfold now. He thinks he's totally _the man."_

"I know he and Reggie were trying for a boy before she got pregnant with Kira and was a little let down when it was another girl. Of course, one wouldn't know it now the way he treats both of them."

"Really? He's never mentioned that."

"Well, I guess he doesn't like the idea of mentioning Reggie too much. So have you decided on any names yet?"

"Not really. I've kicked some ideas around, but haven't really settled on anything. Meanwhile, _Papi_ and Brian are out scouting things for the baby's room. I kind of gave Paul domain over the room. He wanted to do it himself."

"Oh, that ought to be a live comedy, especially with Brian tagging along."

"I'm sure, but it will at least give him something to do when he's home besides rub my belly and basically drive me nuts. Ever since I got pregnant, Paul's hanging all over me at every turn. You'd think this was his first child instead of his _third."_

"It's his first one with _you," _Shaun replied with a shrug.

"True, but my God. Add to that now that he knows that it's a boy, it's ten times worse. The poor child isn't even born yet, and Paul's already making lifetime plans about what they're going to do together."

"Well, I will say this much," Shaun replied. "You won't have to worry about him _not_ being an involved father."

_Meanwhile:_

"Dude, are you kidding me?" Paul asked when Brian showed him a can of paint while they were at the hardware store. "Robin's egg blue? _Oquela, _the kid's room is supposed to be soothing, not scare the hell out of him."

"You said try and find something in blue," Brian protested, "so I did."

"Sure, pick the ugliest damn thing you can find. What's next, baby shit orange?"

"That might not be a bad idea."

"Come on, Spanky, this is going to be my son's room; not exactly the time to be clowning around. I want a nice blue and I told Mon I'd go down to the baby store and look at some decent furniture too."

"Didn't you keep the crib from when you had Kira?"

Paul rolled his eyes while checking other paint colors. "I should have known to have asked either Chris, Shawn, or Lance to come along. No, I had to pick a doofus whose idea of a kid is having four legs, a tail, and sheds all year round."

"Hey, don't be bagging on Captain Jack. He doesn't require diapering or feeding, just eats out of a bowl on the floor, shits in a box, sleeps at least twelve hours a day, and only has to see the vet once a year. How many kids you know can do that?"

"I think I'll take the lesser of two evils, and I hope you're going to lock him and his box in another room anytime I bring Montana over."

"Why? She and Jack love each other. He purrs like an outboard motor every time he sees her."

"Cat boxes are toxic to pregnant women, dipshit."

"Oh hell, I didn't know that part, especially since Reggie rarely came over, and never did while she was in the family way. Glad you said something, dude; I'd hate to see anything go wrong with Mini PL because of my stupidity." Brian picked up another can. "I suppose you won't like this color either."

Paul looked at the tag. "_Peony blue? _Jesus Christ, Spanky. Let me get a salesperson."

"Why did I bother coming here again?"

"Just go find me some stuff for shelving. Can you at least do that without goofing something up?"

"How hard it is to find stuff to build shelves?"

"Exactly. Get out of here while I find someone that knows what the hell they're doing as far as paint goes."

_In another part of the mall:_

"Oh look at this!" Marylin picked up a pink layette set. "Isn't it adorable? And look at these tiny little booties!"

"Uh, Marylin?" Mariah replied. "There's just one problem. Montana's having a _boy."_

"Really?"

"Yeah. She had a sonogram yesterday."

"I suppose in that case pink is totally out. I guess I'm so used to Paul having little girls."

"Aren't we all? Anyway, we need to find something decent for a shower present."

"I hope some of the girls are having better luck than we are. I would prefer to get something that Montana won't have two thousand of already."

"The one thing good about baby clothes, though, is that one can't have too many of them. And if you get something a little bigger, they'll grow right into them."

"Hey, that isn't a bad idea. How did you know about that, Mariah?"

"Shopping for my cousin's baby last year. I also read that someplace in one of those baby books they have sitting around doctor's offices."

Marylin picked up a blue onesie, inspecting it. "You ever think about kids?"

"Uhhhh, not really. I can barely take care of the dog," Mariah replied.

"How is Skipper these days anyway?"

"Actually, he's doing great since his leg healed. I'm still trying to track down the assclown who threw that firecracker that hit him. Of course, Skipper's new hobby now is terrorizing Brian's cat. Poor Captain Jack takes one look at Skip and dives for cover. Thing is, all Skip wants to do is play."

"Poor kitty," Marilyn laughed before picking up a tiny pair of blue booties. "Hey, look at these."

"Cute. Those would go with this." Mariah held up a sailor suit.

"Wouldn't that be a little big for him?"

"Again, Marylin, he'll grow into it. Babies grow fast."

"Oh, right. So let's get this stuff. Montana should be set with all this and the diapers I ordered."

"You ordered _diapers?" _Mariah gave her a look.

"Yeah, it's this company that supplies diapers to new mothers for a year."

"Well, if nothing else, that will be practical."

"Exactly. And what new mother can do without diapers? At least she won't have to worry about sending Paul out for a pack of them in the middle of the night."

"Nor will he have to worry about being sent out for tampons the next several months," Mariah laughed. "Come on, let's go pay for our stuff."

_On the way home:_

"Montana's going to love the stuff you ordered," Brian grinned. "I guess this day wasn't so bad after all."

"Yeah, considering you embarrassed the hell out of me practically the whole time, especially while we were in the baby store and you were holding up that breast pump yelling, **'Hey, PL, what's this shit and what does it do?' **on top of your lungs. Jesus." Paul rolled his eyes. "One can dress you up, but they can't take you out."

"Well, I was just curious."

"Just be curious in a lower voice next time if you're not at least fifty feet away from me. At least you got the right stuff for shelves when we were at the hardware joint."

"Speaking of which, did your anal retentive self find some paint?"

"As a matter of fact, I did. A very soothing pale blue, thank you very much."

"So I guess you're ready for the big project to begin, huh Mr. Handyman?"

"Very much so. The less wifey has to do, the better."


	60. Chapter 60

**Chapter 60**

"Oh wow, this looks nice so far!" Montana praised when she peered in on the progress of the baby's room. "And to think you hid all this talent from me."

"Mon, what are you doing up here?" Paul asked. "I'm painting and the fumes from this shit could hurt the baby if you breathe them."

"I don't think checking on something for two seconds is going to hurt me. Will you stop being a worry wart? You're worse than I am and _I'm_ the one having the baby."

"Still, you saw it. Now get your ass back downstairs."

"Fine, I'll go if it means you not fussing at me. I need to fix the girls lunch anyway."

"That's _mi mami buena."_

_That man is going to drive me insane, _Montana thought, heading back downstairs where the girls were playing a video game.

"Why aren't you guys in the yard?" she asked. "It's a lovely day out."

"We're bored," Kira replied.

"Yeah, and _Papi_ won't let us help with the baby room," Mac added.

"Well, that's partially my fault; I gave him total control over it. It's not like he's around very often. In the meantime, I'm sure you girls can find something to do outside; you just got new bicycles for your birthdays. Scoot. I have to make lunch."

"Okay, _Mami," _they replied.

She then made a face toward a noise coming from upstairs that resembled some kind of crude caterwauling. "For the love of God, Paul, stop singing! You're making my ears bleed!"

"_Perdón, mi amor," _he called back down, followed by a loud belch.

Montana rolled her eyes, heading toward the kitchen. This was going to be a _long_ weekend.

_Later that day:_

After lunch, the girls had gone back outside to play; it was enough having her husband making noise getting the nursery together without two kids running back and forth up and down the stairs checking on the "progress" every five minutes. Besides, it was a beautiful afternoon, other children were also out, and she could use some quiet.

Montana sat on the front porch, keeping an eye on Mac and Kira to make sure they didn't go into the street while they played ball with two boys from a few houses down. She had to eventually break up a scuffle when another child began to tease Kira and Mac pounced on him.

It was that scuffle that had Montana make a new friend in the boy's mother when a woman that appeared in her early forties sprinted out of the house across the street, sending the child inside with "and your grandmother will deal with you, young man!"

"I'm terribly sorry," Montana apologized after scolding Mac and sending the girls into the house. "Mackenzie gets a little overprotective of her sister. She tends to get it from her father."

"It's quite all right," the woman answered. "Brady's been told about teasing girls how many times. I don't know what's gotten into him. He's been a terror since his dad and I split up."

"Well, don't worry; Mac's father will soon be dealing with her. She's been told about fighting."

"You're Paul's new wife, right?"

"Uh….yes. Where are my manners? Montana."

"I know," the woman laughed. "It was kind of a hot neighborhood topic that Paul was finally getting married again and then my mother saw you moving in shortly before your wedding. I'm Beverly, by the way."

"Good to meet you. So when is your baby due?"

"A few more long months," Montana laughed. "It's a boy."

"Oh my. I bet the husband is doing backflips over that one," Beverly said.

"Close enough; he's doing the nursery as we speak."

Montana then turned toward the house, where she heard Spanish being spoken hastily, followed by a "_Perdón, Papi."_

"That is, when he isn't scolding Mackenzie," she added. "Anyway, it was good meeting you; I need to figure out what to make the crew for dinner."

"Sure," Beverly said cheerfully. "Come over for coffee sometime while the kids are in school."

Montana then made her way back into the house, where she found that both girls had been sent to their room.

"And where did you go?" Paul asked.

"I was right outside talking to the boy's mother. I am guessing you talked to Mac?"

"Yes, both of them are on time out."

"Kira didn't do anything; she was the one being teased. And for the record, your older daughter pounced first."

"Yeah, I rather figured that. So what's for dinner?"

"Actually, I was about to work on that idea."

"Okay, as long as it isn't any more of that crazy stuff you did last night. I know you're pregnant and have weird food cravings, but Jesus, even the kids thought it was bizarre and they eat about anything."

"This coming from a man whose idea of dinner is usually Doritos and ice cream right from the carton."

"I like ice cream right from the carton. Look at it this way; it's one less bowl for you to wash."

"Good, I'll get you your own personal carton next time and you can live with your own cooties."

"Jesus, you're as bad as Brian."

They were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Yes?" Montana asked. "Who is it?"

"Special delivery from Spanky's House of Everything Dinner," Brian called from the other side.

"Oh, isn't that sweet!" Montana replied, inviting him in.

"_Oquela_, talk about Satan in midget form and he shows up," Paul joked.

"Love you too, PL. So did you guys eat yet?"

"I was just thinking about making dinner. Your timing couldn't have been better," Montana nodded.

"Yeah, the girls and I may have been spared from another night of Hawaiian pizza, dill pickles, strawberry mousse, and potato salad," Paul added.

"Dude, seriously, you need to leave kitchen duties to your wife." Brian made a face.

"That _was _from my wife," Paul replied.

"You ate it, didn't you?" Montana quirked an eyebrow.

"Yeah, it was either that or starve to death."

"Right. I'm not running a restaurant."

"Well, hopefully Mrs. Carrier of Mini PL and Her Funny Looking Half will enjoy feasting on ribs, baked beans and home cut fries."

"You picked something up to bring over here?" Paul asked.

"No, actually Mimi made it. This stuff is the bomb; I didn't think the woman had in her given her track record of usually only doing microwave shit. And she usually burns that."

"Just keep the beans away from Paul," Montana laughed, getting out plates and utensils and setting them down.

Paul shot her a look. "Gee, Mon, thanks a lot; I love you too."

"Good idea," Brian nodded "Wouldn't want you to suffer in bed tonight from the bombs he lays."

"Like you never ripped any, Spanky," Paul retorted.

"Sure I did. They just didn't smell like dead burritos."

Montana laughed harder. "I'll go get the girls while you two can set this stuff out. Then we can all enjoy a nice dinner."


	61. Chapter 61

**Chapter 61**

"What a day," Paul groaned when he collapsed in bed that night. "But I finally finished painting the baby's room."

"Already?" Montana asked. "That was quick."

"Ah yes, the joy of modern paint. It doesn't take long to do a project these days."

"At least you seem to be enjoying yourself with it. Were you this enthused when the girls were coming?"

"Um…I guess. I really don't remember."

She propped up on one elbow and looked at him. "Come on, four and seven years is not that long. For what it's worth, it's perfectly fine to talk about Reggie. I don't have a problem with it if that is what you're worried about."

"No?"

"Of course not. For all the time we've been together, I don't really know that much about her at all, except she was the girls' birth mother and passed away unexpected when they were still pretty young."

"Yeah, well, you know, she's been gone awhile, and no use bringing up old history."

"But I thought you loved her."

"Well, yeah. I mean, she was kind of a hook up at first, but I didn't really fall for her until she got pregnant with Mac. But contrary to popular belief, things weren't always peachy between me and Reg."

"Truly, are most marriages?"

"No…but just coming out and saying it makes it sound even worse. I'll offer an explanation why I don't like talking about me and Reggie though, but you might not take it very well."

"Try me. I have all night."

"Things weren't too bad at first. Yeah, she was sick a lot when she was carrying Mac, but it was all good. It was beautiful seeing that kid being born, and with Reggie, I thought I found my soul mate really, cheesy as it sounds. Anyway, we thought about trying for a boy when Mac got a little older. Reggie wanted her potty trained and all that shit first, though. I was okay with that; I was enjoying Mac when I was at home. Next thing I knew, Reggie was knocked up again."

"With Kira."

"Yeah. Only Reg wasn't so happy when she found out it was another girl. Now I'm really going to sound like a dick. I wasn't exactly thrilled about it either."

"You could have fooled anyone from the way you treat that child," Montana nodded.

"Well, let me give you the story on that. See, once Reggie found out she was having another girl, she kind of change. Now granted, she was crabby and slept in a separate room when she was having Mac because she was 'uncomfortable' and sexwise, I saw more action from my hand than I did from her. But with Kira, she was a total hag, except when we were in public, which was rare. All she did was bitch at me the whole nine months, like it was _my_ damn fault she wasn't having a boy. It was like I couldn't do anything right. Just criticizing all the time, from the way I did the room to how I cooked, hell, she'd get on my ass if I was too loud going up the steps. Jesus."

Montana pondered a moment. "I guess that explains the shocked look you gave me when I gave you total control over doing our baby's room."

"Yeah, to say the least. Frankly, I was waiting for you to come in and bitch my ass out because something in there wasn't done right."

"Why would I do that? It's absolutely beautiful so far."

"Up to you, my track record with women wasn't so good, Mon. Anyway, the thing with Reg I kind of tried to blow off as pregnancy hormones from hell, figuring she'd get better and totally fuss over the baby just like she did with Mac. Yeah, she fussed all right."

"Well I know Kira was born at home and she came awful quick. Your mother told me that."

"Yeah, but what _Mami _didn't mention was that Reg threw her out of the room and screamed at me the whole time, calling me everything but a Mexican dude. There I was busting my ass delivering this beautiful little creature and all Reggie could do was yell that I wasn't getting 'it' out of her fast enough."

"_It?" _Montana's eyebrows shot up.

"Yeah. Her mother–may she rest in peace– and _Mami _both ended up naming Kira. Mon, I fell in love with that little girl the first time I laid eyes on her, bloody mess and all, and felt guilty about being disappointed a first that she hadn't been a boy. Reg wouldn't even nurse her; Kira was bottle fed. She'd barely acknowledge her. Come on, it wasn't Kira's fault she was born a girl. And don't get me started on when Kira had colic."

"Oh no," Montana groaned. "That bad?"

"Four months of a 'fussy, screaming creature that was supposed to be a son,' the way Reggie put it. Who the hell rubbed Kira's tummy and rocked her when she'd get like that? Yep, yours truly, when I was home. God knows what went on the rest of the time. About the only thing Reg did for her was change her diapers, give her baths and a bottle. Anything else? My job."

"That poor child."

"Yeah. At the risk of sounding like an asshole saying it out loud, maybe it was a good thing Reggie passed while Kira was still a baby. She'd probably been one fucked up kid otherwise, knowing her own mother didn't want her because she was born the wrong gender. You know, even if she was pretty young, I think Mac picked up on it too, which may explain why she's so protective of Kira."

"Perhaps," Montana agreed, nodding. "That and they didn't have a mother figure for over three years afterwards. Mac seemed to grow up quicker than most girls her age."

"That too. Then of course, there's _Mami _giving me hell once in awhile because I tend to be a little softer on Kira about things than I am on Mac. It isn't just about Mac being older; I have to confess, Kira's been kind of a _Papi's_ girl from the minute she was born."

"I knew it," Montana replied, smiling. "I could tell something along those lines was up, the way she's so affectionate toward you. I know Mac loves you too, but just the way Kira looks at you, you're a special person in her eyes."

"Well for a long time, Mon, I figure if that girl was ever going to know love, it was going to be from me and her sister."

"How could anyone _not_ love her? She's just the sweetest little girl."

"Yeah, even Spanky wants to kidnap her, and he's not exactly moving too fast into having his own kids. I told him it would be over my dead body."

"And mine," Montana added. "She's just so excited about the baby, did you notice?"

"How could I _not? _It's about all Kira talks about. '_Papi, _when's _Mami_ having the baby?' It every freaking day. I keep telling her it will be a few more months yet. That boy's going to be in for one hell of a spoiling from those two when he gets here."

"They wanted to help you with the room too."

"Much as I appreciate the sentiment, not such a good idea to mix kids with paint, especially when doing a nursery. Maybe when there's like some little things to do, like put stuff in drawers or something else I know won't hurt them, they can pitch in then."

"I think that would be a good idea," Montana smiled. "They should have a little involvement in getting ready for the baby."

Paul then glowed. "So you _really_ like it so far?"

"I think you did an excellent job. Just think how much we saved not paying a paint contractor or anyone else."

"You don't think the white trim is gay?"

"How can a room be gay? Actually, it looks very tasteful. Where did you get the cloud pattern for the ceiling?"

"Saleslady at the store helped me pick it, as she did the paint. Sky blue, of all things."

"It's a beautiful color."

"Yeah, well, next time you hit the hardware store, you can thank the salesperson called Carmen. If it wasn't for her, our son would be sleeping in a room painted robin's egg blue or some other puke color if it had been up to Spanky."

"Sometimes, it's just better to ask a salesperson," Montana chuckled.

"No argument about that." Paul then yawned. "Okay, _mami pequeña_, we've done enough soul searching and yapping for one night. Time for us to get much-deserved rest."


	62. Chapter 62

**Chapter 62**

"So how is the nursery coming along?" Beverly asked during a coffee klatch with Montana a few days later while the kids were in school.

"Paul's done a beautiful job with it," Montana nodded. "I don't think a professional could have done better."

"He always seemed to have liked tinkering around with things, and of course doing things with the girls, especially the little one."

"Kira? Yeah, he and I had a talk about her the other night."

"There's nothing wrong with her, is there?" Beverly wondered.

"Oh no, just about how Reggie seemed so indifferent when she was pregnant and after Kira was born."

Beverly nodded. "Yeah, I am all too familiar with that. I thought at first Reggie might have been going through postpartum depression when she had Kira; I'd gone through it myself not long after I had Brady. I advised her to get a checkup and some other things, but she insisted she was all right and that Paul was 'just being a pain in the ass for wanting another baby.' It wasn't until later I found out Reggie was just put off because Kira hadn't been the boy she wanted."

"Which was no fault of that child's own," Montana shook her head.

"She seemed fine with Mackenzie," Beverly went on, "but as far as Paul and Kira were concerned after that little one came, they were like….a pain in the ass to Reggie. Frankly, there were times Paul would tell me he was glad to go back on the road because he got tired of Reggie complaining and yelling all the time, and at least traveling, he could get some peace, even though he hated leaving the kids. I honestly think, Montana, if it weren't for Mackenzie and Kira, he would have left her long before she passed away."

"I know. He would never leave those girls behind, at least voluntarily."

"There is one thing I never told him, though," Beverly said. "See, I used to go over and stay with Reggie when Paul was away and her mother couldn't come to town. Roger and I were still together then, and of course, I had Mom living with us, so someone was there with Brady and it wasn't a problem. Anyway, I mostly took care of Kira at night, because she had colic at the time. Well, one night, I did manage to get Kira to sleep and had gone down to the living room to go to sleep myself. A little while later, I think I had to use the bathroom or something, and I heard something in the hall upstairs, so I went to have a look. That's when I saw something in Kira's room, and when I got a closer look, there was Reggie standing over the crib with a pillow!"

Montana gasped. "Oh my God, you mean she was going to…."

"I don't know for sure," Beverly replied, "but it certainly _looked_ like she was about to suffocate Kira to me. Thank God I got up there when I did and asked what the hell she was doing."

"I presume you managed to talk sense into her, being Kira is still with us."

"Yes, but I never told Paul about what happened. It just would have upset him, and Kira wasn't hurt."

"My God, who would want to kill their own baby? So help me, if I am ever like that with this one, no matter how frustrated I am, you and Paul are both welcome to shoot me."

"Well, I wouldn't shoot you, Montana, but I'd certainly try to talk some sense into you and to get you some kind of help."

Montana nodded and smiled. "And I think while I am at it today, some sweet, pretty little girl is going to get some extra hugs when she gets out of preschool."

_Later:_

Montana watched as a gaggle of small children spilled out of the building where Kira attended preschool, each sprinting to their respective mothers, babysitters, or nannies. She then spied Kira's familiar dark head, calling out and going over to the little girl.

"There's my little baby doll," Montana said, hugging the child close to her.

"_Mami," _Kira asked, a little confused, "why are you hugging me so tight?"

"Because you're a good girl and I love you." She kissed the top of Kira's head.

"I love you too. Are you going to hug Mac like this when she comes from school too?"

"Come to think of it, I just might. Did you have fun in school today?"

"Uh huh. Are you going to have the baby yet?"

Montana chuckled. "Didn't you, your daddy and I go through this already? The baby isn't coming for another three months."

"Not sooner?" Kira pressed.

"Trust me, love bug, if I had my way, it would have been here already. Would you like to go get ice cream?"

"_Papi_ says we're not allowed stuff before dinner."

"Well, _Papi _won't be around until at least Wednesday, and what he doesn't know won't hurt him."

Kira glowed. "Can we get some for Mac too?"

"Absolutely. We can put it in the freezer until she comes home."

"She'll be really surprised."

"Oh yes she will. You know what? Just because your daddy isn't around for a couple of days and I happen to feel a little lazy tonight, how about you girls and I having some pizza for dinner?"

"With all kinds of stuff on it?" Kira asked happily.

"Anything you girls like," Montana grinned. "Even anchovies."

"Ewww!" Kira wrinkled her face. "None of those! They smell."

"Okay, no anchovies," Montana laughed, strapping Kira in the car, "but we will get some good ice cream to start our girls' evening off right."


	63. Chapter 63

**Chapter 63**

Montana had enjoyed herself that evening with the girls, pigging out on ice cream and pizza before watching endless movies and playing video games. In all her years of adult responsibilities and now being a wife and expecting her own child, she'd forgotten what it was really like to be a kid at heart sometimes.

After the last movie had finished, the phone rang. Mac lunged for it, picking up the receiver.

"Hi, _Papi!" _she said excitedly.

"Mac, what have I told you girls about answering the phone?" Paul asked.

"_Mami's_ here and she says it was okay since it was probably you. She was right."

"She was lucky. I could have been some predator for all you know. Put her on."

Mac handed Montana the receiver. "He wants to talk to you."

Montana chuckled. "But of course." She then took the phone. "How's it going, King of the Road?"

"Mon, why are you having the kids answer the phone? I've told them about that."

"Because I figured it was you anyway and maybe they would like talking to their dad. Besides, your number came up on the Caller ID and it isn't like I let them do it all the time."

"Consider yourselves lucky I wasn't some pervert breathing into the phone, or worse."

"Hmmm, _you_ can breathe in my ear all you want, sweetheart."

"You know what I mean, Montana. Jesus."

"Anyway, what's happening with you, big boy?"

"Nothing really. Some of the guys went out to a club."

"And you didn't go? I can't believe a man like you is holed up in a hotel room by himself."

"I'm kind of past that club shit. I'm a married man with kids, after all."

"So are most of the roster. It doesn't mean you're dead."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't always the party animal type even when I was married to Reg and before the girls came along. Guess nothing's really changed. And some of those so-called married dudes? Come on, babe, you worked for this company long enough to know at least half of them screw around. Personally, I don't do the cheating thing; I have my hand and lesbian porn for _that _job if it's needed."

"Ewww, TMI," Montana replied, making a face.

"Of course, being practically jumped by my wife every time I come home kind of helps curb that too."

"I do not!" she laughed. "You dirty boy, I can't help if my hormones are insane right now."

"Have you heard any complaints?"

"Hmmmmm, come to think of it, I _haven't."_

"So what are my ladies doing this evening?"

"Watching movies, playing Super Mario–though I have no idea what the hell I am doing on that one–helping Mac with her homework, pigging out on pizza and ice cream."

"Awww, you guys are having the real fun."

"Yes, a great time to be had by all," Montana laughed. "Nothing like living it up with a four and seven year old."

"Yeah, well, I should be joining your fun in a couple of days. Sure beats the hell out of watching a bunch of dudes drink and make asses out of themselves or sitting in a room counting the bathroom tiles."

"And to think there's people out there who actually believe you guys have such glamorous lives," she replied.

"Riiiiiiiiiiiight. They won't think it was so 'glamorous' after they've tried it for a day or two. Which reminds me, I need to go find Spanky and make sure he isn't practically burning the place down again like he did the other night when he let a cigarette ash fall on the bed while watching TV. What a dumb ass."

"Mariah isn't with him?" Montana wondered. "And where's Zeke?"

"Mimi's already gone on to the next town and Zeke went out with the rest of the guys," Paul said, "so it's basically me that is preventing a fire. Frankly, I'd rather be home working on that room."

"Don't worry, your project still awaits you when you get back."

_A short time later:_

Once he was reassured that Brian hadn't been in a position to start any fires, Paul had returned back to his room, flipping on the TV and wishing he was home with Montana and the girls. It was enough he had to be away from them under normal circumstances, but it bothered him even more now that Montana was pregnant. What if something went wrong while he was gone? So far, nothing had, but it still nagged at him.

She was still three months out from her due date and he was counting the days he would get the time off to be with her at their son's birth and a few weeks afterward to enjoy the little guy.

It was a stark contrast to what he'd gone through when Reggie was having each of the girls; she hadn't been so bad with Mac, but pregnant with Kira, Reg had been a holy terror. Being on the road had been a total reprieve then, but now it was almost torture.

How different the two of them had been, Paul thought. Pregnant, and even after Kira was born, Reggie had been miserable to be around. She seldom went out and his friends had driven her nuts. Sex even after Mac was born was few and far between, and only if _she_ had been in the mood.

Paul figured at the time as much jacking off he had been doing at the time, he may as well stayed single; the only time they had really gone at it was when they were trying for a second child, the result being Kira's conception instead of a son. Even the last night of her life when they had had sex had been a rare occasion.

Then there was Montana. Jesus, the woman was incredible, and for as long as she had worked for the company, it was all he could do not to kick himself for not noticing her long before he did. Sometimes Paul wondered exactly how his life would be had she not come into his life at all, and he thanked God every day for her.

Even pregnant, she was cheerful most of the time. There was also no question she loved the girls to pieces, especially Kira, insisting they be part of the whole thing surrounding her pregnancy. Montana would read baby books to them and show them the non-graphic pictures, have them helping him with the smaller tasks in the baby's room, take them to baby stores and let them pick out little outfits for their new brother. He couldn't even recall Reggie even doing even _one_ thing like that with Mac, much less anything else.

Montana also treated him like a king. Whereas she would laugh and kid around when he would rub and gently poke her belly, Paul thought if he'd ever done that with Reg, he'd been lucky to get his hand back, recalling the time Reggie yelled about not wanting him 'pawing all over her' when he wanted to give her a massage to relax her.

Sex? Shit. Reggie had moved into another room when she carried both girls. She was uncomfortable, it would probably hurt the baby, and what was he, some kind of freak?

He had slept around during the time Reggie was pregnant with Kira. _Once._

It hadn't been intentional; luckily, no one had ever found out and Mariah had kept her mouth shut, feeling as guilty as Paul had.

Mariah had split from her previous boyfriend at the time and Paul had been frustrated with the whole Reggie situation. Both had been a bit tipsy, gone back to his room, and the next thing either had known, ended up in bed.

They may have eased each other's "frustrations" at the time, but extreme guilt had set in on both parts the next day. It took awhile for each to see each other the same way again, but happily, they had remained friends and Mimi was crushing on Spanky anyway, much as she would initially deny it for the next year or so.

One thing about now, however, that even though Reggie may have been stingy with sex–pregnant or not–Montana had been more than generous with it while they were dating right up through their wedding night and even the whole honeymoon in Mexico.

It was almost like she was in the mood the same time he was, not to mention she was hot as hell in the sack. Paul could certainly attest to older chicks being better lovers, and now that she was pregnant, the woman would practically rape him when he came in the door.

Not that he was complaining, of course, he thought with a grin.

The girls weren't the only ones Montana spoiled; any time Paul had been sick or injured, she refused to let him do_ anything._ He was lucky he hadn't lost his job when she had called the offices to give them hell for making him work with a temperature of nearly 102 degrees, which turned out to be pneumonia. Were they out of their minds? He could have dropped dead, and they were expecting a child!

Yeah, he thought. There were things that _could_ chap his ass about Montana at times, but for the most part, he had struck pure gold in finding his current wife and hoped for years to come, his good fortune would continue.


	64. Chapter 64

**Chapter 64**

A few days later, it was good for Paul to be home.

The girls were in bed and the house was quiet except for the TV, which Paul glanced at, but wasn't really paying attention. Montana was reading some pregnancy book, snuggled beside him.

He took a swig of the strawberry kiwi water he had been drinking before glancing down to check out something that had caught his eye.

"Uh….Mon?"

"Hmmm?" she asked.

"Either this water is spiked with some serious drugs that are making me see things or your shirt is moving."

"Where have you been?" she smiled up at him. "That's your son kicking around. He's been doing that for quite awhile now. I can even time it; he starts his little floor show at or around seven each night and usually quits around one in the morning. Here," she took his hand, "feel."

"Holy shit. Doesn't that hurt, though?"

"Once in awhile he kicks a little too hard, but for the most part it feels more fluttery than anything else. Didn't you feel the girls moving around like this?"

"Are you kidding? If I'd tried this with Reg, she'd chopped my fingers off."

She kept his hand on her stomach. "Oh, you poor thing."

For several moments after that, the only sound in the room was the droning of the TV in the background. Soon Paul felt something and jumped. Montana quirked a brow and gave him an odd look.

"_Oquela, _that little dude just kicked me!" he exclaimed.

Montana had to laugh. "Actually, I think he was just saying hello."

"He's got one hell of a way of doing it. Now tell me _that_ didn't hurt."

"Not really. Just pressure."

"You really get used to this stuff?"

"Well, I really don't have much of a choice. Good thing we're both night people, huh?"

"Yeah, you aren't kidding. I'm going to get a snack. You want something?"

"No, I'm fine. And don't keep the fridge door hanging open; we don't own stock in the electric company."

"I would like to think I already know that, babe," Paul replied from the kitchen while peering at the contents of the refrigerator. "When was the last time you were at the store? There's nothing to eat in here."

"For crying out loud, I just spent eighty dollars a few days ago. Surely you can find _something_ out there. You've already caught hell from management for gaining weight anyway."

"Gee, thanks a lot for pratically starving me, Mon."

"It's for your own good. You heard what the heart doctor said. Besides, the girls have had no problem with it. As much junk as you've consumed on the road, a couple days of _decent _food isn't going to kill you."

Paul finally came back with a jar in his hand, taking his place back beside her before beginning to pop the contents into his mouth.

"What are earth are you eating, or is it safe to ask?" Montana asked.

"Jalapenos," he grinned, popping another. "Want some?"

She shuddered, making a face. "No thanks. And you talk about _my _weird food cravings. At least I have an excuse."

"_Sabes que, _I do too. It's called I'm starving and my wife didn't get anything edible. You should try one. It will give the kid a cast iron stomach early."

"Right, more like make me hurl for a week. Just for that, I should have your son kick you again. Now a real food craving would be a run to Taco Bell."

He perked up. "You want some?"

"You know, that sounds pretty good right about now."

"Now we're talking!" He put the jalapeno jar back in the refrigerator and grabbed his keys. "Anything in particular the _mami pequeña _would like?"

"No, you can decide, as long as it isn't that flaming hot crap you tend to get. While you're at it, could you stop by the twenty four hour pharmacy? I forgot to pick up my baby vitamins earlier today when I got Kira from preschool."

"Wow, there's a winning combination, Taco Bell and vitamins. Yep, my wife is totally _embarazada, _all right."

"Get more used to it," Montana grinned at him. "It won't be long before you'll be going on runs for diapers and formula at all hours."

"Don't remind me," he replied. "Been there, done that twice already, but then again, it beats being sent out for tampons. I'll be back in about half an hour."


	65. Chapter 65

**Chapter 65**

A few days later, Montana had gone through her list of things to do. There was a project Mac needed to do for school and needed supplies, the visit with her OB, an appointment to have her hair trimmed, new sneakers to buy for Mac to wear at recess so she wouldn't mess up her good shoes and Paul throw a fit as a result, pick up a few things she needed at the grocery store to make cupcakes for the bake sale at Kira's preschool, and of course, picking up Kira herself.

She had kept her cell phone off the entire time, figuring Paul was hanging out with Brian and wouldn't be bothering with her, the girls were in school anyway, and Montana was never one to use her phone in public unless it was totally necessary.

When she had turned it on after picking up Kira and headed home, she had found ten calls from Mariah's number. Puzzled, Montana wondered why Mariah would be calling so many times, Montana thinking she would call Mariah back after she'd gotten home, put things away and gotten Kira settled in for the afternoon before Mac came in from school.

She had barely gotten things organized and put away when the phone rang again. Once more, it had been Mariah.

"Montana, Jesus, where have you been?" she asked anxiously when Montana answered.

"Well, I had to go to the doctor, had a ton of errands and then pick Kira up at preschool. Why, what's going on that's so important?"

"Brian's been going insane for the last couple of hours and had me try to get hold of you. Paul got sick with this weird pain in his shoulder and it went all over the place, and then he passed out. Bri went with him to the hospital."

"Oh my God! Has Bri been able to tell you anything?"

"They're still there," Mariah answered. "Last I heard, they were doing some tests on Paul."

"I'm going to see if the lady across the street can stay with the girls, and then I'm on my way."

Montana hung up quickly, then dialed Beverly's number. She hastily explained to Bev what was happening and needed someone to stay with Kira. Mac would be in from school in a couple of hours.

Beverly stopped her; of course she could come over. She had dinner made already and all that had to be done was have her mother heat it when Brady came in from school. It would be no problem to stay with Mac and Kira.

Montana sighed with relief, explaining the best she could to Kira that she needed to go out again and Beverly was coming over. There was no point in getting into it with the little girl why Montana had to leave; it would only upset Kira and that was the last thing Montana needed right now. As soon as Beverly arrived, Montana took off for the hospital.

When she arrived, at first they though _she_ was a patient, possibly in labor. Anxiously, she explained the sitation, stating she'd gotten a call about her husband, and was Paul still there?

He was and a doctor would be out to speak with her in a few minutes. It was all Montana could do not to cry.

_Meanwhile:_

"Dude, come on, fuck off," Paul grunted at Brian. "I think I can take a piss by myself."

"Sure, this is the thanks I get for getting you here after you practically drop dead on me. No skin off my ass if you fall to the floor and get covered in your own piss stink. And hell, it isn't like I haven't seen your tiny dick before."

"Very funny. Did you even _bother _calling Montana? The last thing I need is her going into early labor from worry because I've been gone so damn long."

"Mimi got hold of her; Mon got the chick across the street to stay with the girls and the last I knew, she was on her way here."

"Thank God."

"You whizzing okay?"

"No, Spanky, I just whip my dick out in the middle of the ER bathroom because I feel like it. Of course I'm okay."

"Geez, just checking, dude. No need to be cranky."

"Much as I appreciate the sentiment, Spank, I'm kind of scared shitless right now. It's been almost two hours since they did all that shit on me and not one person has come in to tell me anything, plus I have a pregnant wife who's probably going batshit herself wondering what's going on. How the hell am I supposed to feel?"

"Well, they say no news is good news."

"Or I could be on the brink of death."

"Come on, PL, this is no time to be a downer. You got Mini PL coming, remember?"

"Yeah, you're right. No use jumping to conclusions without hearing anything first."

"That's better. Now let's get you back to your room before you excite all the nurses with your sexy ass flapping in the breeze."

"_What? _Jesus, Spanky, why didn't you say something?" Paul hurred to cover himself.

"Hey, come on, even a place like this needs a little excitement that doesn't involve death, disease, or blood. Who better than to provide the happy kind?"

_Later that early evening:_

Montana had finally talked to the doctor, who filled her in with as much detail as possible; Paul was going to be all right, but they did want to keep him that night for observation. They were now in the process of transferring him upstairs and she was welcome to see him in the meantime.

She couldn't help but shed happy and relieved tears when she finally saw him.

"What the hell is this?" he asked, wiping them away. "I'm not going anywhere yet, baby."

"I know," she replied. "I've been filled in on everything. It just all scared the daylights out of me."

He gently patted her stomach. "Like you don't have enough to worry about with the little man here. Besides, everything's fine. Nothing a few meds won't cure and I'm hanging here overnight. You can quit worrying now. Go home."

Montana shook her head. "Not a chance. The girls are with Beverly, doing fine and I've gotten everything else done. You're stuck with me for at least the next couple of hours, mister. Remember 'in sickness and in health' as part of our wedding vows? I'm living up to those right now, whether you like it or not."


	66. Chapter 66

**Chapter 66**

For the next few months after Paul's health scare, things seemed to move along without incident. Montana and Beverly had become close friends, and it was good to have someone to chat and hang around with when Paul was away.

Brady and Mackenzie had even become friends not long after their initial scuffle, and the boy no longer teased Kira. Brady was also a regular at their house on Monday and Friday evenings, since his grandmother wasn't into wrestling.

After all the horror stories she had heard over the last several months about first pregnancies, Montana was both surprised and considering herself lucky she was having such an easy one. She didn't even have morning sickness in the early stages, and she felt strong and healthy now, even six weeks before her son was due to be born.

Montana had finally chosen a name for the baby after she had agonized over naming him for months. Paul hadn't been much help; he'd told her "whatever she liked was fine."

"As long as it isn't Felix," Brian had joked. "That's the name of Paul's _dick."_

She really couldn't complain, though, being he'd done the baby's entire room himself right down to getting the furniture, and even getting little things to "baby-proof" the house when the newest family member would get older.

_Talk about preparing far ahead of time, _she thought. Then again, if Paul was anything, it was being well-prepared.

Shaun had come over that afternoon for a visit, something she didn't do very often anymore after being promoted to one of the heads of event security. She wouldn't be needed for that weekend's house shows, so she took the opportunity to pay Montana a visit.

"Are you sure that's just _one_ baby?" she asked, observing Montana's now well-expanded middle.

"I've had enough sonograms," Montana laughed, "and all they can find is one."

"That's going to be an awful big kid then."

"Well, I guess no one will complain about a big boy."

"Hard to believe the big day is getting closer. So are you feeling all right?"

Montana nodded. "Never better."

"So how has _Papi_ been throughout all of this?"

"Actually, pretty good. He did the whole room himself, even picked out the furniture."

"You're kidding!"

"No. Want to have a look?"

"Oh, girl, I have to see this."

"He did a great job," Montana nodded, leading Shaun upstairs.

They arrived at the baby's room, Shaun looking it over for awhile.

"Oh, girl," she agreed, "this is absolutely brilliant."

"I don't think anyone hired could have done it better."

"No doubt, and he picked out all this furniture?" Shaun asked.

"And the paint, trimmings, and shelving," Montana replied.

"Wow, I am impressed. Who knew the man had such hidden talent?"

"That's probably just one of them," Montana laughed.

"Hey, talking about kids, where are the girls?"

"Oh, they're over at Beverly's across the street playing with Brady. Frankly, I was rather enjoying the quiet when you came over. There won't be many of these days left."

"I'm sure. And probably not much sleep either," Shaun chuckled.

"More than likely, that will be the case."

"So Paul hasn't been having any more sick spells?"

"No, at least not to my knowledge. Even if he was hiding something, someone is always going to tell me anyway. As they say, no news is good news. And he passed the drug test."

"But of course. Then again, that isn't any shock."

"Yes. He wants to set an example for all of the kids about the dangers of drugs and alcohol. He won't drink, smoke, or use drugs around them and gets pretty upset when other people do that stuff around the girls. He's given Brian hell for smoking in front of them more times than I can count."

"That's our _Guapo_ all right. Always wanting to set a good example."

Montana couldn't help but smile. "Well, if it's any indication on how well he's done with the girls, he's going to be one hell of a _papi _to his little boy."

"So I hear you picked a name."

"I have. It took me awhile, but I finally settled on something."

"Any hints?"

"Nice try, Shaun. No, not until he's born. Don't worry, it isn't going to be some bizarre, 'out there' name or anything like that."

"Well, whatever the name is, I am sure it will fit that little man of your nicely."


	67. Chapter 67

**Chapter 67**

All may have been going well, but there was a kink in it all:

As she got closer to her due date, Montana had begun to notice Kira "acting up." This was also not lost on Paul, and it had confused both him and Montana. The girls had been thrilled about the coming baby and it had been Kira for the most part that would constanly ask when it was coming, but though Mac hadn't really changed, it seemed that her little sister had.

"Sissy, quit poking me!" Montana heard Mac cry out one evening as she passed their room. "I got to do school stuff!"

"Kira?" Montana asked. "What are you doing, little lady?"

"I'm bored," Kira whined. "Nobody will play with me."

"Well, Mac has schoolwork to do ans she can play later. Come downstairs with me for awhile, okay?"

"Where's _Papi?"_

"He had some things to do and went out for a little bit. He'll be back soon."

"I'm bored," Kira complained again.

"Sweetie, your daddy just brought you some new dolls from his last trip. Why don't you play with those?"

"You mean I'm _allowed?"_

"I don't think he got them for you for any other reason."

"Usually _Papi _says we're not allowed to play with good stuff."

"I honestly think he means by that, Kira, is not to play with _his _things. Those dolls are meant to be played with, sweetie. They're probably as bored as you are just sitting there looking pretty."

Kira smiled. "Okay!"

She scampered off to play, leaving Montana to attend to her own business at hand and engrossed in work for a period of time before hearing something come out of Kira that caught Montana's attention."

"Will you guys still love me when the baby comes?" she heard Kira ask the dolls.

_Later that evening:_

"She said that?" Paul asked when Montana relayed to him what Kira had done while playing with her new dolls.

"I heard it with my own ears," she replied, nodding. "What would make her think such a thing as not being loved when the baby is born?"

He sighed. "I guess this explains why she's been acting the way she has lately. Crazy thing is, Mon, I never went through this with Mac. I don't even recall _one_ time when she was jealous of Kira."

"The irony of all this is that Kira's usually been the one that asked when the baby is coming. I thought she was excited about it."

"You know what? Let me talk to her. Chances are pretty good Kira will open up to me more; she's probably afraid to tell you because she thinks she might hurt your feelings."

"Perhaps you're right, though she should know better than that."

"Anyway, there's no better time than the present. It will be good to reassure her before she goes to bed."


	68. Chapter 68

**Chapter 68**

"Are you giving me my bath?" Kira asked, smiling when her father came into the room that evening.

"As soon as Mac's done with hers," Paul replied. "First, though, I want to talk to you for a minute. Come here." He patted his lap.

"Are you mad?" Kira wondered.

"No, baby, I'm not mad. I just want to talk to you about something." He picked the child up, placing her on his lap.

"Okay."

"Kira, _Mami _heard you say something today when you were playing with your new dolls that kind of concerns me, so I want to ask you a question."

"What's that?"

"Are you worried _Mami_ and I won't love you anymore after the baby comes? Is that why you asked the dolls if _they_ would still love you?"

Kira paused for a moment, then looked up at him, wide-eyed. "Uh huh. Is that bad?"

"Of course not. I'm sure your dolls will love you as much as you love them. But listen, I want to let you know that even after the baby comes, both _Mami_ and I will still love you and Mac, no matter what."

"Even if we're bad?" Kira asked.

Paul chuckled. "If you're bad or good, it doesn't matter. We could be busy sometimes and might not have time for you right then because a baby is a lot of work, but it won't mean we will love you girls any less."

He then cuddled her a little closer. "Besides, you'll always be _Papi's_ girl even when you're all grown up and having your own baby."

"That's a long time."

"Exactly. Now no more acting up and wondering if _Mami_ and I will still love you. Okay?"

"Okay. Will the baby love me and Mac too?"

"Of course he will, shorty, why wouldn't he?"

"_He?" _Kira wrinkled up her face.

"Yep. You and Mac are going to have your own baby brother."

"How you know it's a boy baby?" Kira wondered.

"Well, there's a special test where the doctor can see inside _Mami_ and know what kind of baby she is going to have. And it's a little boy."

"Are you sure?" Kira looked a bit skeptical.

"Come with me for a minute; I want to show you something."

"Okay."

She followed Paul to a shelf of books in the playroom next door. He pulled out the baby books of her, Mac, and the coming baby, showing her the sonogram pictures of her and Mac.

"That's _us?" _the little girl asked, amazed.

"That's you guys before each of you was born. Now," he pulled out the sonogram of the coming baby, "here's your little brother. See how different you and he look?"

Kira studied it for a moment. "What's this?" she asked, pointing. "Me and Mac didn't have that in our picture."

"I certainly hope not; that's because you are girls. That's for a little boy."

"Oh, okay."

"See how we know you're having a baby brother now?" Paul asked.

"I think so, yeah. Will he pee standing up like you do when he gets bigger?"

"Uh…yeah. Kira, how did you know boys pee standing up?"

"Uncle Spanky left the door open one day and me and Mac saw him."

_I am going to kill his ass, _Paul thought, and then cleared his throat. "Well, that's enough explanation."

"I tried that too, but I guess girls can't do that."

"No, Kira, girls have to sit down for that reason. You're going to find out as you grow up that boys and girls can't always do the same things because we have 'different parts', you could say."

"I guess I can't give _you_ a bath then."

"Not exactly a good idea, shorty. Speaking of which, I think your sister is done."

He picked Kira up, hoisting her onto his shoulders. "Let's go get your pretty little self cleaned up."


	69. Chapter 69

**Chapter 69**

"Dude, did you close the door?" Paul demanded, yelling in the direction of the bathroom. "I swear to Christ I do not want to hear or see you pissing!"

"Okay, okay," Brian replied. "Damn, if I didn't know better, crabby as you are, I'd think _you_ were the one that was nine months pregnant instead of Montana."

"It's common courtesy, Spanky. Besides, Kira caught you in the act one day."

"_What? _She saw me using the john?"

"To say the least. You're lucky I'm letting you live. Seriously, man, when the kids are around, try to be a little more careful what you're doing, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. If I'd known that, dude, I'd shut the door in the first place. The last thing I'd need on my head is a four year old being corrupted. That's your job."

"Very funny, Spanky."

Soon Paul heard flushing and water running before the door opened. "So anyway, what did you need for me to do?" Brian asked.

"I have to go to this meeting thing; think you can run Montana to the doctor? Beverly's already gotten picking Kira up from preschool covered."

"So let me get this straight. You want me to take a pregnant chick to the doctor? "

"Yes. Is there a problem?"

"Uh….no. I don't think so anyway. But what if…?"

"Dude, she isn't due for another three weeks if that's what you're worried about," Paul reassured him.

"Oh…then it shouldn't be a problem."

"Right. And it's only a twenty minute drive anyway. I don't want her being alone when she's this close to being due. Think you can do this without screwing it up?"

"What can go wrong in twenty minutes?"

"Given your record, Spanky, just about anything. And don't drive like a maniac either."

"Okay, okay, PL; don't open a vein. I can do this. I'll take wifey to the doctor and bring her home. No problem."

"Good. Her appointment is at one thirty, but they usually want her there about ten minutes early to register and shit."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"I know, especially at times when she has to sit there for another half an hour."

"Oh gee, thanks for letting me know _that_ part, dude." Brian rolled his eyes.

"You don't have to stay with Montana," Paul replied. "She'll call you when she's finished."

"In that case, I can pick up some cat food, and then have a few smokes and some coffee while I'm waiting then," Brian grinned. "Have a nice meeting."

_Several hours later:_

Paul had come back from his meeting and had picked up Kira from Beverly's, spending time with his younger daughter before Mac had come home from school. It was then he had realized that Montana _still _wasn't back from the doctor yet.

She had run over at her appointments before, but never this long, and Paul was a bit annoyed that no one had called him; even more so, Brian hadn't answered his own phone.

Just when he was about to try again, Paul's phone rang, with an exasperated-sounding Brian on the other end.

"Dude, I'm at the hospital, and you better get here quick! I think Montana's popping out Mini PL!"


	70. Chapter 70

**Chapter 70**

"Oh fucking hell," Paul groaned, laying on the car horn and then yelling out the window. "Hey, buddy, move it or park it, will you? _Oquela!"_

_Great, no better time to get stuck in rush hour traffic, _he thought, groaning again.

When traffic finally did move, it was at a crawl, only to have him hit a stop light. Paul banged his head on the steering wheel, swearing in Spanish.

The light changed, and traffic finally moved again at a steady pace before Paul swore in Spanish again at someone who had cut him off.

"Am I supposed to get to this hospital at all? Jesus!"

_Meanwhile:_

"What do I do again?" Brian asked, totally clueless and wondering what the hell was taking Paul so damn long to get there.

"Just….sit….and….be….quiet…for…now…" Montana managed to get out through clenched teeth.

"Are you in pain?"

"No, Brian; actually, labor is quite ticklish."

"Something tells me we're going to be here awhile."

"You could say that," Montana replied. "Did you get in contact with Paul at all?"

"Yeah, God knows where he is, considering he drives like he's a hundred years old. Of course, knowing dipshit, he probably had to stop for gas or something."

"Jesus, Brian."

"Well, just saying. I need to remind dude that he's also paying for the mess on the car upholstery; no fault of yours, by the way."

"Thanks," she said before another contraction hit.

"Should I get a doctor or something? I don't think you should be suffering like that."

"Thanks for the sentiment, but I don't think I'm ready yet."

"O…..kay, then." _Paul, your ass better be through that door within the next five minutes or I am going to fucking kill you when you __**do**__ get here, _Brian thought.

_A short time later:_

When he managed to get out of the traffic clog, for the first time he could remember, Paul stepped on the gas and went full tilt toward the hospital, only to see the dreaded red flashing lights in the rear view mirror.

Another loud groan escaped his lips before he pulled over.

"_Oquela_….." It was almost as if Murphy's Law had taken full effect.

A female officer had tapped on the window. "In a hurry to get somewhere this evening, young man?" she asked, taking his information.

"Uh…actually, my wife's in labor and I'm on my way to the hospital," Paul managed to choke out.

"Right," the officer nodded. "I'll be back in a moment; sit tight, Dale, Jr."

_Great, _Paul thought, _now I have some lady cop thinking I'm some smart ass kid with a lead foot flying down the road for the fun of it. Meanwhile, Montana's probably had the kid by now or close to it, Brian's with her, but doesn't know his ass from his elbow about this kind of stuff and probably shitting razor blades, both of them are probably going to cut my balls off by the time I get there, and now I'm going to get a ticket on top of it all. As if this day couldn't get any worse._

Before Paul knew it, the cop had returned, but she was smiling this time, handing back his information. "Got yourself a nice clean driving record. I don't see that very often on my job."

"Uh….thanks."

"What hospital is your wife having the baby?"

Paul told her.

"Need a police escort?"

He brightened; maybe things were going to get better after all. "Are you serious? Where's the ticket?"

"I'll let you off with a warning and escort you to the hospital. Come on, time's wasting, Papa."

_In the delivery room:_

"So are we ready to be proud parents?" the doctor asked cheerfully.

Montana shot him a look. "I think I've been ready since two thirty this afternoon."

"Oh, no, dude; I have nothing to do with this," Brian interjected, jumping up. "I'm just filling in."

"Brian?" Montana asked.

"Yes?"

"Sit down and shut up."

"Okay then." _Oh, PL, you are going down when you get here._

"The head is crowning," the doctor said. "Not much longer now and you'll be able to greet your new baby."

"Wait, what?" Brian asked, snapping to attention.

"IT'S ALMOST HERE!" Montana yelled, giving one final push.

The delivery room went silent as the baby finally entered the world. The silence was soon replaced by the sound of tiny cries….and Brian dropping to the floor in a single thud.

"Oh that is just lovely," Montana sighed, rolling her eyes. "Fantastic."


	71. Chapter 71

**Chapter 71**

Paul was crestfallen; by the time he had finally arrived at the hospital, Montana had indeed delivered the baby. He knew for sure his ass was on the line for sure.

He finally found Brian, in a room with an ice pack on his head. Paul had gotten the scoop on what had happened, and couldn't help but break out laughing.

"One word, dude, and my foot goes up your ass," Brian warned. "You're lucky I like you or you'd been Ezekiel's dinner tonight."

"Look at it this way, Spank; this prepared you for your own kids."

"More like to get myself _neutered, _thank you very much. Where the hell were you anyway?"

"Murphy's Law," Paul replied. "Traffic jam, every other fucking light turned red, then I got pulled over by a cop for speeding…"

"Hold on!" Brian piped up. "_You_ got pulled over for _speeding?"_

"Save the smart ass remarks, Spanky. But yeah, considering my wife was in labor, I wasn't exactly thinking straight. So this lady cop pulls me over, which delayed me further."

"And you got nailed for a fine."

"No, that was the good part. She gave me a warning and offered to be a police escort. Of course, by the time we got here, I found out Mon just delivered the baby and the nurses told me 'Daddy' passed out in the delivery room." He began to laugh again.

"I'm glad you find my agony amusing, PL. By the way, the upholstery in my car is going to need cleaned from where your wife's water broke, there's going to be the bill from the fucking orange-sized lump on my head, and of course, the cab fare to get Mimi here so she can drive me home."

"Yeah, sure, no problem. Thanks for being with her, man."

"You should go down and see him, PL. Cute little fucker, mini version of you. Well, not so little; he's ten pounds and about this long." Brian spread out his hands.

"That might not be a bad idea, but I was going to see _Mami_ first," Paul nodded, " provided she doesn't kill me on sight."

"After popping out a ten pound kid, I doubt she'll have the strength, dude. She might let you live another day."

_A short time later:_

As Michael Preston Sanchez-Garcia London slept in the nursery down the hall, Montana rested in her own room. A female police officer had just left, filling her in on what had had exactly delayed Paul.

At that moment, he hesitantly poked in his head. "Is it safe to come in?"

"Of course."

"Um, Mon, I'm really sorry about not being here to—" Paul began before Montana cut him off, raising her hand, smiling and nodding.

"There was a nice lady police officer in here just a bit ago," she replied. "She told me everything. I have to admit, though, the last person I'd expect to be stopped for speeding is _you."_

"Oh, not you too. I just got heckled about this from Brian. _Oquela."_

"So I'm guessing you saw him too," Montana said.

"Oh yeah, after one of the nurses told me about him passing out in the delivery room." Paul began to snicker.

"Paul, come on, that isn't funny. I'm just glad he wasn't hurt worse than he was."

"Yeah, true, and if nothing else, it's prepared him for birth up close and personal."

"Yes. So have you seen Michael yet?"

"_Who?"_

"Michael Preston. Your son. I named him for yours and Daddy's middle names."

"Oh, okay. Actually, I came to see you first. Spank says the kid is ten pounds. He's that big?"

Montana nodded. "Ten pounds, twelve ounces, to be exact, and twenty one inches long. Talk about pushing a bowling ball through a keyhole."

Paul shuddered. "You aren't kidding. Jesus."

"Don't knock it, _Papi_; you may have a World Champion on your hands someday."

He raised an eyebrow. "You really think so, huh?"

"Either that or delivering some knockout punches like his Grandpa Hayes did in his day."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, missy; the kid isn't even a day old."

"I'm just messing with you," Montana smiled. "All I know is whatever Michael decided to do with his life, I will be more than happy to support him."

"Yeah," Paul agreed, putting an arm around her, "as will I."


	72. Chapter 72

**Chapter 72**

Montana lay in her room the next morning cuddling Michael, carefully studying her newborn son from top to bottom. He had latched on and begun to nurse immediately once he had been placed in Montana's arms.

"One thing about it," she chuckled, "you certainly don't wait to get down to business."

He was indeed a big, solid baby, with the same features and caramel-colored skin as his father and older half sisters. She also noticed Michael also had Paul's long fingers, and while Mac had been bald as a cue ball at birth and Kira only a small patch of dark fuzz, Michael had a full head of near-black hair.

Montana couldn't help but laugh when she saw her son's feet. "My God, child," she giggled, "you even have your dad's feet!"

She looked up from the baby just as Paul and Brian came into the room with sodas they'd gotten from the cafeteria, Paul staring at her with an odd expression on his face.

"What's with you?" she asked, burping Michael.

"Don't mind me," he shook his head. "It's been awhile with this baby thing. It's going to be even more different getting used to another _male_ in the house."

"I'm sure you will have little difficulty adjusting to _that_ part, dude," Brian said, shaking his head and pulling a chair over to the bed so he could see the baby. "Hey, Mikey, what's happening, big guy? You see that dark, hairy beast over there? That's your _papi."_

"See the blond midget sitting beside your _mami_ with the lump on his head? That's the weirdo who passed out when _Mami_ was having you," Paul retorted, laughing.

"Hey, I earned this lump."

"He did," Montana nodded, still patting and rubbing Michael's back. "How is your head today, Bri?"

"Eh, a little sore, but I'll live."

"He'll just get a bunch of shit in the locker room come the weekend," Paul replied taking another swing of soda.

"Doubt it. Zeke's got me covered."

Soon the room filled with a loud belch.

"Fucking hell, Paul," Brian made a face at him. "Were you brought up by wolves? There's a lady and a baby in the room!"

"Uh, Bri?" Montana spoke up with a chuckle. "That was _Michael."_

"Thank you, sweetheart," Paul replied, glaring at Brian.

"That was the _baby? _Jesus, that sounded like one of _yours, _PL. Looks like Mikey here is going to take after his old man in that department."

"Oh, you're just a barrel of laughs today, aren't you, Spanky? You sure you don't need to get that head checked out? I think something got rattled in there."

"Nope, I'm fine. I answered all the questions right down in the ER yesterday anyway."

"Questions?" Montana wondered.

"Yeah, like who the current President is and shit like that."

"To make sure his brains weren't totally scrambled, although no one is really sure if they _weren't_ scrambled to begin with," Paul added.

"Back at you, dude," Brian responded.

"Maybe that's why you two blend so well," Montana said. "_Both_ of you have a screw loose."

_A few hours later:_

Jack had brought the girls to meet their new baby brother, Kira peering into the window excitedly as a nurse brought Michael over to them.

"That's him? That's our baby?" Kira asked.

"That's your new brother," Jack smiled at her. "What do you think?"

"He's really cute," Mac replied.

"What's his name? We can't just call him 'baby'," Kira wondered.

"Of course not. His name is Michael," Jack answered.

"That's _Papi's_ middle name," Mac nodded. "It's nice."

"I think that is why Mommy may have picked it," Jack said.

"When do they get to come home?" Kira asked.

"Probably tomorrow, most likely," Jack answered. "They don't keep people around too long these days. Then you'll get to enjoy your baby brother all you want."

"Yeah, but that won't be much fun till he gets a little bigger," Mac said. "Right now, all he'll do is sleep and stuff like that. They don't do much when they're real little."

Kira wrinkled her nose. "He won't? How boring."

"It won't be long," Mac reassured her. "Then next thing we know, we can play with him all the time."

"That's right," Jack agreed. "But right now, the little guy needs his rest, and I'm sure your mom would like to see you girls for a few minutes too before we leave. How about it?"

"Okay!" they cried in unison.

"Then you can tell her how much you like your new brother. Come on, let's go."


	73. Chapter 73

**Chapter 73**

A few days after Montana had brought the baby home, Montana had a follow up appointment and left Michael with Paul. Brian had been over to visit, both of them taking turns entertaining Michael.

"You know, he's a pretty good baby…sometimes _too _quiet," Paul said, giving Michael a bottle. "Considering what I went through with Mac having ear infections every other month and then colic hell with Kira, it's like Utopia with this kid."

"Wow, third time's a charm, huh?" Brian asked

"Looks that way so far," Paul said pulling the bottle from Michael's mouth and checking to make sure he hadn't given him more than Montana specified before burping his son. He placed a burp cloth on his shoulder and placed the boy on it, patting his back.

"All right, Mikey. Give your _papi _a good one while they still think it's cute."

"You heard him, kid," Brian agreed. "When you reach _Papi's_ age, _Mami _won't think it's so cute anymore and will give you these really dirty looks."

"As most women do," Paul added as Brian headed for the kitchen to check out the refrigerator.

"Dude, don't you have any food at home?" Paul asked.

"Yeah," Brian said. "But all Mimi has is that organic shit. I need me some dead animal." He grunted and beat his chest.

"You are hopeless," Paul laughed. Before Michael let out a loud belch.

"And I swear that damn thing your kid just let rip vibrated the walls," Brian replied. "Jesus, PL, what did you do to that poor baby?"

"That's my boy," Paul said he wiped away the spittle and gave Michael back the bottle.

"You aren't kidding there." He took a glass out of the cupboard and poured from a container, drinking, and then made a face. "You might want to tell your wife you need some milk. This tastes kind of funny."

"I hope so," Paul said, trying to keep a straight face. "You just drank some of Mikey's midnight snack."

Brian spit it out into the sink and coughed. "You knew the whole damn time _and watched me do it anyway?" _You asshole!"

"Speaking of which, think you can burp Mikey for a sec? I need to make a pit stop."

"Uh……"

"Just burp him, Spanky. He won't break. _Oquela."_

"Right," Brian said, placing Michael on his shoulder and patting his back. Not long after, a burp echoed through the quiet room.

"Good one," Paul called from the bathroom. "See, was that so hard?"

"Uh, Paul?"

"Yeah?"

"Got a little problem out here."

Paul flushed and washed his hands before coming out and seeing the mess on Brian's shoulder. "Didn't use the burp cloth, didn't you?"

"The what?"

Paul picked up the cloth. "This. It's used to prevent things like _that."_

"Oh, right. Well, nothing like the fresh scent of sour baby milk."

"I'll loan you one of my T-shirts while I try to get that mess out," Paul offered.

"Thanks, dude. Look at it this way, it could have been worse. I could have been smelling like baby shit instead."

"True, but lucky for us, the little guy there already dropped a load earlier for _Mami, _so with a dry ass and a full tummy, he should be good for awhile." He tossed Brian the shirt before taking Michael and heading to the nursery to put him in his crib before going to wash out the sour stain and hanging it over the shower.

Montana came home a little over an hour later while they were surfing news sites, one ear on the baby monitor for any slight noise Michael could make.

"How was everything?" she asked.

"Great," Paul replied. "The little prince is still asleep. Is Kira still over at Beverly's?"

Montana nodded. "She and Mac both are. They're going to dinner with them, so it will be just us tonight. I thought we could just order something. You can hang around if you like, Bri."

"As long as it involves some kind of dead animal, it will work for me," Brian replied.

"As long as it involves _free food_, it works for Spanky," Paul added, only to be rewarded with a smack on the head.

"How come you smell like sour milk?" Montana asked.

"Long story."

"He burped Mikey without the burp cloth," Paul explained.

Montana let go a chuckle. "Watch and learn, sweetie."

"So what dead animal are we eating tonight?"

"There's a ton of menus in the drawer by the refrigerator."

"Great. Thanks for sparing me from another night of Mimi's organic hell, by the way."

"Since when does Mariah do organic?" Montana wondered.

"That's what I want to know. Ever since she got out of rehab, she's gone plain nuts. If she wants to do that organic shit, fine, but does she have to make _me_ suffer too?"

"That's what women do best, make us suffer," Paul quipped, getting another smack on the head, this time from his wife. "What?"

"Never know when to be quiet while you're ahead, do you, PL?" Brian grinned as noises came over the baby monitor.

"Make yourself useful and go get your son," Montana said. "Meanwhile, I'm going to arrange for our dinner."


	74. Chapter 74

**Chapter 74**

Michael was now eight weeks old when the guys had a rare weekend off after a PPV. They and the girls had been taking in a DVD since it had been raining outside, Paul holding Michael in the crook of his arm while Mac and Kira spread out on the floor in front of them munching popcorn.

"I'll be in the den doing bills," Montana announced. "Want me to take Michael?"

"Nah, he's cool," Paul said, grinning down at the baby in his lap as Brian plopped down on the couch beside him, handing him a soda. "Here you go, dude."

"Thanks, Spank." He popped the can open.

The only sound in the room was the occasional giggle from the girls at something on the screen or Brian making commentary during the movie. Soon they heard a strange sound and Paul jumped.

Brian quirked a brow at him and the girls turned around and gave Paul a look, all three making a face at the smell that filled the room.

"_Papi!" _Mac cried. "You are so gross!"

"Ewwwwwww!" Kira complained, holding her nose. "_Papi_, you stink."

"Damn, PL, what the hell crawled up your ass and _died?" _Brian asked, glaring at him like he was responsible for the offensive odor.

"I swear, guys, it was Mikey," Paul said. "I felt vibration."

"Oh, that's real class, dude, blaming, a poor, defenseless baby." Brian rolled his eyes.

"Then _you_ hold him and pray it was just a fart," Paul retorted, handing him Michael, who began to fuss.

"Poor kid," Brian said, beginning to take the baby. "Your _papi_ rips one, tries to lay the blame on you and…._Jesus Christ! _Phew!" He made a face.

"Told you so," Paul said.

"Montana! Could you come out here for a minute?"

"What's going on out here?"

"Take a whiff and find out," Paul replied. "What the hell is in that milk of yours anyway?"

She picked up Michael. "Oh, for the love of cookies; all this fuss over one little dirty diaper. Come on, sweetheart, let's go get this nasty thing off of you."

She took Michael up to the nursery, laying him on the changing table and unsnapped his onesie, removing the soiled diaper with as little fuss as possible and depositing the offensive item in a plastic bag before cleaning the baby up and putting on a fresh diaper.

"You know, I will never figure out your daddy," Montana chattered to the baby as she snapped up his onesie. "Those two out there think nothing of beating up men twice their size in front of millions of people, but they're afraid of a little bit of baby poop. If only the world knew, huh?"

Michael's green eyes shone as he smiled up at his mother. Montana picked him up along with the bag containing the dirty diaper, carrying both back downstairs.

"Here," she said, tossing the bag on Paul's lap. "Make yourself useful and take that to the Dumpster."

Paul jumped. "Jesus!"

Brian leaned to the back of the couch laughing.

Paul took the bag and plopped it in his lap. "Just for that, smart ass, you're coming with me."

"Fucking hell, dude!" He tossed the bag back at Paul, who tossed it back at him. This continued for a few minutes.

"Will you two knock it off and take that to the Dumpster?" Montana shook her head and sighed, going back into the den, this time taking Michael to put him down for a nap.

"What's the big deal anyway?" Mac asked. "It's only baby poop."

"Then _you_ can take it out," Paul said.

"Uh uh." Mac shook her head. "_Mami_ said you had to."

"You are no help at all," Paul sighed, finally picking up the bag.

"Sorry," Mac shrugged as the girls went back to the movie.

_Later:_

Montana had still been working in the den after Brian had gone home; the girls in the basement giggling while playing Twister, and Paul messing around on his laptop checking email. She heard Michael over the baby monitor waking from his nap.

"Paul, could you do me a favor and check Michael?" Montana asked.

"Yeah, sure, no problem," he answered, getting up to get the baby.

He walked into Michael's room, where he was greeted with a grin. "Ahh, there is my little prince, greeting me with a big smile. You must have had a good nap, huh?"

Paul then picked him up. "And greeting me with a wet ass too. _Oquela, _the things your _mami_ sticks me with. Okay, kid, let's take care of this."

He lay Michael on the changing table, going for a clean diaper and a dry onesie, before removing the wet items and cleaning the baby up, making sure he was immaculate.

It was then that Michael peed a perfect arc, some of it landing on Paul's shirt.

He jumped back. "Aw, Mikey, come on, dude! This was my best T-shirt! Couldn't you have done that while the diaper was still on?"

Michael looked up, a wide, toothless grin on his face as Paul ripped off his shirt, throwing it in a nearby hamper.

"Oh yeah, yuk it up now, kid, but just remember, one of these days, you'll be doing diaper changing to your own kids and we'll see who's laughing then."

He finally managed to get the diaper and clean onesie on Michael before picking him up and heading back downstairs where Montana was still in the den.

"Here's your human fountain," Paul said, handing the baby over.

"Where's your shirt?" Montana asked.

"Mikey christened it while I was changing him. What a day. First I got to take a shit bag out in the rain, then I get pissed on by my own son. I should have stayed in bed."

"Paul, if I had a dollar for each time I got peed on, pooped on and spit up on by this child, you could go into early retirement right now," Montana replied. "Compared to most days, this was a mild one, so consider yourself practically unscathed. Besides, you're washable and so are your clothes, and I need to do laundry anyway."

"I'm just glad Spanky wasn't here when _that _happened or I'd never heard the end of it."

"Right. See, things aren't so bad after all, are they?"


	75. Chapter 75

**Chapter 75**

The following night, Brian had slept over at Paul's insistence. They had been watching a basketball game and it had been late when it had ended, plus he had drunk two beers.

"It was just _two, _dude," Brian had protested.

"Two too many," Paul countered, bringing out blankets and pillows while Montana put the girls and Michael to bed. "Your ass is staying here. I'm not risking you getting pulled over because of your own stupidity."

"All right, but you've traveled with me enough to know my habits."

"The fact you snore like a bear and the gas bombs you lay? Yeah, so what else is new?"

"As if you never farted a day in your life, PL."

"Yeah, yeah, well, at least now, I don't have to worry about you humping my leg," Paul laughed.

"And I don't snore."

"Right, keep telling yourself that, Spanky. Good night."

Brian grunted in response before Paul headed upstairs.

Montana was already in bed reading when Paul got there. "Kids all down, huh?" he asked.

She nodded. "I called Mariah and told her Bri was staying over. She was fine with it."

"Yeah, I got the 'it was only two beers' bullshit, but it would be both our rotten luck he would get pulled over on the way home or get into an accident. No way would it be worth the risk."

"You're right," she agreed, then frowned, watching him dig around for something. "What are you doing?"

"Where's the remote?"

"Probably up your ass where you left it."

"Very funny, Montana."

"Did you look in your drawer?" she suggested.

"Oh yeah, that might help."

He opened the drawer, pulling out the remote. "Here we go."

"What would you do without me?" Montana smiled, checking the baby monitor before going back to her book as Paul flipped on the TV.

"I have no idea."

Soon they heard a strange sound, causing Montana to look up from her book.

"Paul, what on God's green earth are you watching?"

"That isn't the TV. Spanky's snoring downstairs."

"Good grief."

"I'm serious. Dude is down there sawing the forest. That gives me an idea."

"What are you going to do?" she wondered.

Paul grabbed his cell phone. "Midget insists he doesn't snore. I'm about to prove his ass wrong."

"You are absolutely evil."

"Yep, that's me," he laughed, getting out of bed. "But this will make some good video."

_The next morning:_

They were awakened by both noises coming from the baby monitor and the girls giggling in the bathroom while Brian continued to sleep downstairs. Montana went to check on Michael; meanwhile, Paul found Mac and Kira in the bathroom, having discovered Montana's cosmetic stash.

"Guys, what are you doing?" he asked.

"Um…just looking," Kira replied, wide eyed.

"You aren't mad, are you, _Papi?" _Mac asked.

"No, but you really shouldn't get into stuff that isn't yours," he replied before an evil grin came to his face. "Wait a minute. I got an idea."

"What?" Mac asked.

"Get some of that stuff and follow me downstairs. Let's do something funny."

"What's funny?" Kira asked.

"You guys will like this."

"What about _Mami?" _Mac wondered.

"She's busy with Mikey; it will be just us. Come on, let's go."

Paul grabbed his phone on the way downstairs, followed by the girls, heading toward Brian, who was still spread out on the couch, asleep. The girls giggled as they and Paul appled cosmetics on him, Paul shushing them while restraining from laughing himself, and then taking pictures with his phone before they disappeared back upstairs, giggling.

Brian had just woken up shortly afterwards, scratching and on his way to the kitchen when Montana had come down with the baby. Both had given him strange looks.

"What?" he asked. "I know I look strange in the morning, but _damn."_

"Actually….I was just wondering what that mess all over your face was," Montana replied.

"What mess? I just haven't shaved yet. I guess I need to bum a razor from PL."

"Frankly, I think you better do a lot more than that."

"What the hell……"

"Go look in the mirror," Montana finally said, shaking her head.

Brian did as instructed; things were quiet for a few moment before a loud gasp came out of the bathroom, followed by a yell and a loud stomping up the stairs.

"**PL, I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR FUCKING MEXICAN ASS!"**

Howls of laughter came from upstairs, followed by Paul flying downstairs and out the patio doors, Brian hot on his trail.

Montana shook her head, still holding Michael. "I will never be able to figure out your father. I think he's still stuck on childhood in a grown man's body."


	76. Chapter 76

**Chapter 76**

Montana found a large hairy object sitting beside Michael's carrier seat and jumped. "Oh my God!"

Brian came in and picked up the object nonchalantly, stuffing it in a bag. "Oh, I was wondering where I put that. I was hoping I'd find it before PL did."

"Exactly was _was_ that thing?" Montana asked. "For a minute I thought it was real and was going for the baby!"

"Just something I picked up as sort of a payback to your husband for that little 'makeover' prank of his. We all know how much PL _loves_ spiders; remember how he screamed like a girl when one crawled out of the bathtub drain the other night?"

"Oh yes. He's been checking every drain in the house like clockwork ever since."

"Well, after I had to scrub his handiwork off myself this morning, I made a trip down to this Halloween shop and got the biggest, hairiest, ugliest fake spider I could find to shove in his bag."

"It certainly looked convincing enough to _me_. Good lord."

"Imagine how it's going to look to PL when he opens that backpack. Buahahahaha."

"Bri, really, that's cruel."

"And sticking make up on me while I'm sleeping then taking pictures of me _isn't? _If that wasn't enough, he took video of me _snoring_. Asshole. Of course, I do have the one of PL dancing in his underwear….."

"What?" Montana asked.

"I didn't tell you about that one?"

"Come to think of it, I don't think you did."

"Hang on a minute; I still have it. It's funny as hell, especially the part where his ass is pointing toward the camera."

"Only _you_ would come up with this kind of stuff, Brian."

"Aha! Found it!" he glowed after going through a menu on his phone. "There you go, your other half, all in his half naked pleasure. I can send you a copy for Mikey to laugh at someday."

"I'm sure he'll enjoy this," she giggled, right before Paul came in, headed toward his backpack.

"And now the _real _fun is about to begin," Brian muttered.

"Are you still goofing around?" Paul asked.

"Nope, I'm ready any time you are," Brian answered as Montana handed back the phone. "I was just showing Mon something."

"Yeah, I'm sure she enjoyed seeing your X-rated phone video collection." Paul rolled his eyes.

"That's not exactly all he has on there," Montana interjected, grinning, giving Michael a bottle. "There are actually some milder things."

"I'm sure." Paul unzipped the backpack and jumped back.

"Um….guys? Nobody move…"

"What's wrong, dude?" Brian asked, trying to keep a straight face.

"Big….hairy….eight….legged….._freak_….."

"Oh, come now, no spider can be that big."

"Yeah, well, this one can be the size of a small colony."

"Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration. I have to see for myself."

"I'm telling you, Spanky, don't go near that thing. It's huge. It'll _bite."_

"Do you mean this?" Brian asked, pulling the fake spider up. "Yeah, it is kind of big, isn't it?"

"**SPANKY, DON'T FUCK WITH ME; THAT WASN'T FUNNY!"**

Brian doubled over in laughter, holding the fake spider in the air. "Dude, the look on your face was a riot!"

"I despise you," Paul growled.

"No you don't," Brian said, placing the spider on Paul's head.

"Get that freak off of me!"

"What? All it is is rubber and fake fur."

"I don't care what it is; get that thing away from me, you asshole!"

"Well, at least now we're even. And no children were used in the purchase of said spider, unlike some people, who recruited them for my crude 'makeover'."

"Fine, we're even. Now if you don't mind, we have a flight to catch, which by the way, I'm driving. I'd like to have us get there in one piece and without a traffic ticket."

"Okay, but we better leave now, because as we all know, it takes half an hour just for you to go two blocks."

"Ass wipe," Paul said, throwing his jacket at him.


	77. Chapter 77

**Chapter 77**

"What's the matter with Grumpy Gramps?" Mariah asked a few days later, indicating Paul, who was snoring on the couch in front of the TV.

Montana yawned, pouring coffee. "What's the matter with both of us; we're worn out. Michael was up all night with some kind of tummy bug and he didn't go to sleep until about five this morning. I'm surprised the girls slept through it all and got off to school today."

"Poor baby," Mariah said sympathetically. "Is he going to be okay?"

"Michael or the lump snoring on the couch?" Montana joked.

Mariah laughed. "I meant the _little_ baby upstairs."

"He's going to be fine. The doctor said to just keep giving Michael as much fluid as he can take and let him sleep. At least he quit spitting up so much and the diarrhea stopped too, thank God. I think I was changing diapers in my sleep at one point."

"Where would he have gotten that?"

"I think he got it from Kira. She got sent home from preschool the other day with it. Then Grumpy in there had it and passed it to the baby. Lucky for us, Mac and I have been spared, at least so far."

"Oh God, and we know what he's like when he's sick," Mariah chuckled.

"Actually, sometimes he's _worse_ than Michael," Montana nodded.

"I'm back!" Brian announced loudly, slamming the door. "Breakfast has arrived."

"Fucking hell, Spanky," Paul grouched, jarring awake. "Why not get a little louder? I don't think anyone heard you."

"Seriously," Mariah added. "Good God, is all that noise necessary?"

"Got to make my presence known."

"Well, do it a little quieter and not come in here like a team of horses. You'll wake up the baby."

"I thought I already woke him," Brian grinned, gesturing at Paul. "He needs to get his lazy ass up anyway."

"You're an asshole," Paul responded gruffly.

"I meant _Michael_," Mariah said. "The poor kid was sick all night."

"Yeah, and I'd like to see _you _clean up baby barf, change shitty diapers on the half hour, and listen to a kid yell until five in the morning," Paul added.

"Jesus, PL, what did you do, give that kid your cooties?"

"Which Kira passed to me. It's been a fascinating two weeks, to say the least."

"Well, buck up, grumpy. Be a good boy and have a breakfast burrito. They made them fresh for a change."

"If this and that coffee didn't smell so good, I'd dump them on your head right now for being so damn cheerful."

"Ahhh, nothing like having breakfast with a grouchy Mexican first thing in the morning."

"Back at you, Spanky."

"How is the little guy this morning anyway?" Brian asked.

"So far, he's still asleep," Montana replied.

"Yeah, be thankful Mikey didn't wake up when you stomped in here bellowing or I would have kicked your ass," Paul said.

"Sorry, dude."

"How'd you rate getting fresh burritos anyway? Usually when I go down there, they give the ones that sat there for at least two hours."

"Must be my charm and outstanding good looks."

"Better get the shovels, Montana; it's getting deep in here," Mariah laughed.

"Hey, you weren't objecting last night, Mimi," Brian interjected.

"Dude, come on, some of us are trying to eat here," Paul grunted. "We don't need the sordid details of your sex life to ruin breakfast."

Brian wolfed down the last of his burrito and let out a loud belch. Mariah glared at him.

"What?" he asked. "One would think you'd be used to this by now, Mimi."

"Were you raised in a barn? Jesus, Brian. There are women in this place."

"Be thankful he didn't fart," Paul replied. "Lord know how many times I've had to deal with _that_."

"Shut up," Brian yelled, tossing a couch cushion at him. Paul tossed one back in response, sparking a war.

"Hey," Montana interfered. "I've talked to the girls about doing stuff like that; I don't need it out of you two savages. Good grief, you're grown men; start acting like it."

"He started it," Paul said with a mock pout, making puppy eyes.

"And you're stopping it," Montana responded, hearing sounds on the baby monitor. "Michael's awake. Think you can go get him?"

"Oh lucky me. Wonder if I'm going to get puked on or shit on this time?"

"I don't know; he isn't fussing. That's a good sign."

"Okay, but if I come down smelling like puke or baby shit, consider yourself warned."

Montana smiled, rolling her eyes and shaking her head, going to prepare a bottle in the kitchen.

A few minutes later, he returned with Michael, who was smiling.

"Looks like someone may be feeling a bit better," Montana said, taking him. "Let's try a little bit of a bottle to see how you do."

"Butt's still dry," Paul replied.

"I guess whatever he had is finally out of his system."

"Thank you, Jesus," Paul sighed, plopping back on the couch to finish his breakfast.

Brian made a face. "Phew," he said. "No offense, PL, but you need to hit the shower and some deodorant. You got some serious pit stink going on there."

"It isn't half as bad as yours after you use your dollar store Men's Stick," Paul retorted. "Talk about getting what you pay for."

"Yeah, yeah. Seriously, man, you fucking reek. Go get cleaned up."

"Not to mention that shirt could stand up by itself," Montana added. "Go ahead, I can take care of the baby and clean up after I'm done with him."

"Phew, since when did Mr. Anal Rententive let himself go the stinky route?" Brian asked, fanning the air.

"Since last night when the little one here was sick," Montana said, picking up the baby to burp him.

"Well, I guess that is a valid enough reason. Let's hope that doesn't happen too often."

"Of course not," Montana laughed as Michael let out a tiny burp. "I have to wake up beside that thing every morning, remember?"

"Yeah," Brian snickered back. "Poor you."


	78. Chapter 78

**Chapter 78**

"Catching up on your highbrow reading with the latest girlie issue?" Paul asked.

"For your information, this isn't a dirty magazine," Brian replied. "It's one of those catalogs with Halloween shit. They got some cool costumes in here. You know, you'd be pretty hot as a Mexican maid."

"Very fucking funny, Spanky."

"Seriously, man, we should get some costumes for crashing some parties. Didn't you say you wanted to get some for the girls anyway to take them trick or treating?"

"Yeah. Do they have anything decent in there? Mon and I haven't found anything but overpriced shit in stores."

"Kind of nice stuff, and even cute things for babies. You could dress up Mikey."

"I think four months is a little young to be going trick or treating, dude. The kid isn't even eating solid food yet."

"Still, who could resist a cute mini PL in a costume? Hey, check it out, they got costumes for pets in this thing."

"You're going to dress up your _cat?"_

"Mimi would fucking love it. They have costume contests for animals, you know."

"I always knew you were weird, but holy hell."

"She's more into that shit than I am, but if she wants to get clawed to death by Jack, no skin off my ass. First prize is a hundred bucks. And if it's anything chicks dig, it's animals and babies."

"Uh, Spanky, aren't you forgetting something here? First, you're with Mimi, and second, I'm a married man with _three_ kids. Jesus."

"I know. I was just seeing if you were paying attention."

"Asshole."

"Anyway, there's a cute pumpkin costume in here for Mikey. I should show this to Montana."

"What you think is 'cute' is probably something stupid."

As if on cue, Montana came in with Kira and Michael, setting down the baby and then some groceries. "Hey, guys. What's going on?"

"Halloween costume discussion," Brian replied, holding up the catalog. "I was just telling PL there was something cute for Mikey."

"Oh?" Montana seemed interested. "Let me see."

"He's too young for trick or treating," Paul protested.

"But not too young to dress up, _Papi," _Kira replied.

"She's right," Montana agreed, looking at the catalog. "And this thing is cute. I think they have nice things in here for the girls too. I think when Mac comes in from school, you two can pick something out, Kira. What do you think?"

"I think it would be fun!" Kira said happily.

"Good, then that's settled."

"I still say PL would be hot as a Mexican maid," Brian laughed. "Especially with that ass."

"Cut the shit, Spanky," Paul warned.

"I don't think that costume comes in his size anyway, Bri," Montana added, chuckling.

"Thank God," Paul said.

"Does it come in yours?" Brian asked mischievously.

"Hey," Paul spoke up again. "I will have you know that's my wife you're speaking to and if she gets a maid costume, it will be for _me."_

"Down, padre. I was just pulling your chain."

"And really, clean it up, you two; there's a child in the room," Montana added, indicating Kira, who was now engrossed in cartoons.

"Oh, yeah. So what did you get good to eat?"

"For the love of God, Paul, you act like there's never food in this house."

"Sometimes there isn't."

"We need something to subsist on besides junk food. Those girls are growing and developing and so is Michael."

"Could be worse, dude," Brian interjected. "She could be killing you with mostly organic shit like Mimi does. At least now I've managed to convince her to give me some dead animal now and again."

Paul dove into one of the bags. "All right! Chocolate heaven!"

"Paul!" Montana cried. "God, you're worse than the girls. Those are for Halloween." She smacked his hand away.

He rubbed his hand. "Not even _one_ piece?"

"No. They're for the trick or treaters. And one piece for you will end up being the whole bag."

"You're no fun."

"If it's any consolation, there's Doritos in the bag over there on the counter by the sink," she said.

"Now you're talking!" he said cheerfully, heading for the indicated bag, digging out the chips and the salsa jar that accompanied them, studying the label.

"This is the mild stuff," he whined.

"Paul, not all of us are of Mexican descent with cast iron stomachs," Montana reminded him.

"Yeah, homeboy," Brian said. "Remember the stunt with the cayenne pepper in my noodles you thought was so fucking funny?"

"You mean the time you coughed and puttered until you had water and steam coming out of your ears? How could I forget?" Paul gave a cheesy grin.

"Oh yeah, total hilarity at my expense. You're lucky I didn't end up in the ER because of that prank, ass wipe."

"Not my fault you got a wuss stomach, white boy."

"Hey, watch it with the white comment," Montana said, "or I cut off your Dorito supply."

"Guess she told you, holmes," Brian gloated, stealing the bag.

"Give me that, Spanky!" Paul cried, swiping it back.

"I forgot, PL's Dorito's are sacred ground."

"Damn right," Paul said, munching the chips.

"Well, at least share some of your 'sacred ground' with your daughter," Montana reminded him.

"Do I have to?"

Kira perked up, joining in on the joshing. She went over to Paul, holding out her hand and batting her eyes. "Yes. It's nice to share, _Papi."_

He rolled his eyes playfully before surrendering the bag. "Fine."

"Better watch that little lady, dude," Brian said. "She bats those eyes more often, she's bound to get just about anything."

"Yeah, women seem to have a talent for that kind of thing."

Michael began to fuss a little, making his presence known.

"Yes, my little man," Montana said, picking him up to take him out to the kitchen for his bottle. "I didn't forget about you; I have something for your tummy right out here."

"Apparently Mikey has his own way of getting what he wants too," Brian laughed.

"At least for the moment," Paul agreed, "but there's plenty of time to teach him some of charm of the men in this family."


	79. Chapter 79

**Chapter 79**

"Dude, don't throw that stuff out," Paul said a few days later, indicating the pile Brian just dug out of a pumpkin and was about to dump in a nearby wastebasket while they were carving jack o' lanterns. "Those will make some good snacks."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Brian muttered. "I know you eat about anything, but hell, _pumpkin guts?"_

"I meant the seeds, Spanky. Put that stuff in the colander that's sitting in the sink. Then we'll rinse the crap off, put the seeds on a cookie sheet, bake them with a little salt and spice, and _voila, _fresh pumpkin seeds."

"Hey, that sounds like a pretty good idea, only I think I'd leave that to Montana. Knowing you, you'd taint them with that flaming hot shit and kill everyone in the house."

Paul batted his eyes playfully. "Not _me_."

"Yes, _you, _PL. Don't play innocent with me, dude."

"I have Mexican and Indian blood; it's only natural I like spicy stuff."

"That's great, Paul, but Jesus, it doesn't mean you have to attempt murder on the rest of us while you enjoy it."

"You're just jealous," Paul said with a goofy grin.

"Yeah, that's it," Brian rolled his eyes and laughed, scooping out more pumpkin innards. "I'm jealous because I can't eat jalapenos from the jar like popcorn without a three-alarm fire breaking out in my stomach and flames coming out of my ass each time I take a dump. Whatever you say, PL."

"Will one of you get that?" Montana called out when the doorbell rang. "I'm changing the baby."

"You're closer," Brian told Paul. "I'm up to my elbows in pumpkin guts and it's probably one of your goofy friends anyway."

"No," Paul said, wiping his hands on a towel before heading for the door, "he's already here."

Brian flicked his hand, sending pumpkin mess on Paul, who laughed and got the door.

It had been one of the neighbors who had been holding a package for them, which he took, thanked them, and then studied the box. "Jesus, are these here already? Mon just ordered this stuff."

"What?"

"The Halloween costumes are here."

"Wow, that was quick."

Montana came out, carrying Michael. "Who was at the door?"

"Neighbors held a box for us," Paul nodded, gesturing at the large box. "The Halloween stuff has arrived."

The girls then came running. "COSTUMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!"

"Take it easy, you two," he said. "The big night isn't till Friday."

"They should at least try them on," Montana suggested. "That way, I can see if Beverly needs to take in anything before then."

"Yeah, I guess that wouldn't hurt, huh? All right, have at it but be careful."

"YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

"You're just trying them on!" Paul reminded the girls as they ran off with their costumes.

"How did you two do with the pumpkin project?" Montana asked.

"Spanky made weird faces," Paul said with a mock whine.

"I did not," Brian protested. "I was being _creative. You're _the one that was a doofus."

"Dumbass here was going to throw out the seeds," Paul countered.

"Which you planned to douse with the hottest spices you can find which would have made anyone who ate them spontaneously combust," Brian shot back.

"Frankly, these aren't bad," Montana said as she studied the finished projects. "As for the seeds, I think we're all better off if I take care of _those." _

Brian looked up at the ceiling. "Thank you, Jesus."

"Am I really that bad with the spicy stuff?" Paul asked.

"Yes," they said in unison.

"Here," Montana said, handing him the baby. "You guys can entertain Michael for a little bit while I clean up and do the pumpkin seeds. First, I'm going to check on the girls, though."

"This I can handle," Paul grinned.

"Till the kid shits himself," Brian muttered.

"I heard that, Spanky."

The girls came out, wearing their costumes. "LOOOOOOOOOOOKIE!" they cried.

"Come over here." Montana said. "Let me see if they fit all right."

She inspected Mac for a few minutes, pleased that the costume fit the older girl perfectly. "Looks like the Good Witch is going to be perfectly fine," Montana said cheerfully. "Good thing I got the smaller size. This is just perfect. As for you," she said, turning to Kira, "unless we can fatten you up in the middle by Friday, I'm going to need Bev to take you in a few inches in the middle. Otherwise, you'll be fine."

"Wait till you see me and _Papi_ here," Brian grinned. "You'll freaking love it."

"Never mind," Paul glared. "You and your bright ideas."

"I think it's going to be a great idea," Montana smiled.

"You would," Paul sniffed. "The whole world isn't seeing _you_ in it."

"We want to see!" Kira cheered.

"I'm sure you girls would," Montana replied, "but you can't until Friday when you get dressed up too."

"Are you going to dress Mikey?"

"Of course. He's going to have his little pumpkin costume and stay here with me to pass out candy while you go out with your dad and Bri."

"That will be cute," Mac nodded. "We should take pictures."

"Oh, I plan to," Montana agreed.

"Especially of _Papi," _Kira giggled.

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT," Paul spoke up in protest. "Shouldn't you two be getting ready for bed anyway?"

Montana looked at the clock. "Come to think of it, it is getting that time. I need to make Michael a bottle too. All right, ladies, time for you two to hustle upstairs and put on your pajamas. Bring these back down when you're finished and then it's bedtime."

"Awwww…." they began.

"Guys, come on, you know there's school tomorrow. Now get moving. I have to get the baby settled."

_Later:_

The girls and Michael had been settled in bed, and Montana had come out of the kitchen, the pumpkin seeds done and kitchen cleaned up and went to join the guys in the living room, pulling the baby monitor out of her pocket and sitting it on a table.

"I can't believe they broke up!" Brian whined.

"I told you that was going to happen, dumbass," Paul said.

"I'm surprised you knew what was going on the way your eyes bug out of your head every time the chick comes on the screen."

"My eyes do not bug out of my head."

"What are you two watching?" Montana asked.

"Some goofy thing on VH1," Paul answered.

Brian laughed. "If no one ever believes PL's a tit man, they should watch an episode of _I Love New York _with him. Those knockers draw his eyes every time he watches that show."

"For fuck's sake, Spanky! I was reading the tattoo!"

Montana began to laugh. "I'm sure you were, Paul. Just like you said my pink maternity blouse was your favorite. Now I know why."

"Oh yeah, because he's been reading the "Princess" tattoo eight thousand times and got a new fetish for pink maternity blouses. Paul will look at _any_ pair of tits, and he's bad at hiding it," Brian continued.

"Shut up!" Paul yelled, turning read and tossing a cushion in Brian's direction, hitting him in the head.

"Your husband is a dirty old Mexican," Brian said, laughing.

"You think I haven't figured that out by now?" Montana responded, getting into the spirit.

"_He _corrupted me," Paul said.

"Hey, I'm an ass guy. You were corrupt long before I came into the picture, dude. I wasn't the one that knocked the crucifix off the wall fucking my first girlfriend."

"Jesus, Spanky!"

"What?" Montana asked, turning to Paul.

"You didn't hear about the first piece of ass PL got, Mon? He was sixteen and—"

Paul clapped his hand over Brian's mouth. "Stop right there."

Brian removed the hand. "Don't know why, dude. I still have the article where you mentioned it anyway."

"_Oquela. _I don't believe this."

"Oh yes, the high school one. I think I may have read that one once," Montana nodded. She then pinched her husband's thigh. "Come to think of it, you _are_ a dirty old man."


	80. Chapter 80

**Chapter 80**

The next morning, as Montana slowly started to gain her bearings, she realized she felt arms around her and heard soft snoring in her ear.

_Talk about a satisfied customer, _she thought, chuckling to herself and recalling their lovemaking the night before.

She tickled Paul's bellybutton. "Hey, sexy, did I wear you out that bad?"

"Huh?" he muttered sleepily, opening one eye.

"And good morning to you too," she laughed. "I need to get the girls up for school. Think you can take care of Michael?"

Paul yawned loudly. "I guess so."

"Don't worry, if he has a poopy diaper, you can glove, mask, and gown up."

"Very funny, Montana. I'll be fine."

"Think of it as quality time with your son," she smiled, getting up to put on some clothes.

As she got Mac and Kira ready a short time later, Montana could hear Paul talking silly and singing to Michael while bathing him, the baby laughing.

"All right, _mi hijo bebé_, now let's go get some clothes on you," Montana heard him over the monitor as he carried Michael from the bathroom.

She picked up the baby monitor and put it in her pocket as she ushered the girls downstairs for breakfast.

"Aw, Mikey! _Oquela_." Montana heard Paul cry over the monitor, the baby laugh, and then the hamper lid close. She presumed he'd gotten "christened" yet again.

"Guess your dad still hasn't learned to dodge Michael's aim yet," she chuckled as the girls giggled.

"I forgot my backpack," Mac announced, heading back upstairs. "I'll be back in a minute."

"All right, but hurry up," Montana answered. "Beverly will be over soon for you girls."

Mac nodded, rushing upstairs to grab the backpack from her room. Things were quiet for a few as Kira gathered her own things before a cry of "Eww, _Papi!" _emerged from the top of the stairs, and then Mac reemerged.

"What's wrong, honey?" Montana asked as Mac came back, making a face.

"I need eye bleach. _Papi's in his underwear!"_

Kira wrinkled her nose. "Ewww."

"Yeah, you aren't kidding, Sissy. Be glad you didn't see _that."_

Montana shook her head, calling up from the bottom of the stairs. "Hey, _Papi, _would you mind putting some pants on? You just traumatized your oldest daughter and Bev's going to be here any minute."

"Your son just pissed on me, _tam bien_! It isn't my fault Mac came up here while I was changing. _Oquela."_

"Better put a shirt on too. You don't want to get Beverly too excited."

"Yeah, I'm going to excite her with the beginning of a gut and my fat ass."

"Bullshit. You are not fat. You just did Pilates and ran three miles yesterday without running out of breath."

"Right."

"Get decent and bring the baby down here. I have his bottle ready."

"Ah the days where I could just sit around just in my boxers. Where did they go?" he asked.

"You had children," she laughed as he came downstairs with Michael.

The girls' eyes were covered. "Is he dressed?" Mac asked

"Yes, Mac, I have clothes on. Good God."

She and Kira both sighed with relief as the doorbell rang.

"Right on time; that's probably Beverly to get these two," Montana said. "Button your shirt."

"Anything else?" Paul raised an eyebrow.

"No, you're fine."

They greeted Beverly before sending off the girls with her for the trip to school and closed the door behind them.

"Jesus," Paul said after they were gone and Montana gave Michael a bottle. "You'd think Mac seeing a guy in his boxers was the end of the world."

"To a girl almost eight years old, seeing her own father like that can be a little……shocking."

"It isn't like she's going to see plenty of half naked and naked men in her coming lifetime. Still, I got to admit it _was_ kind of embarrassing to let the kid see me like that."

"Hey, be thankful she didn't see you completely in the raw."

"Yeah, I've already made the poor girl suffer enough today." He handed her a mug of coffee. "Enjoy. I can finish the little prince."

She handed over Michael, the bottle, and the burp cloth. "Thanks."

Montana took a sip of coffee and smiled. "Wow, this is great. Chocolate and cinnamon. What is it?"

"Ancient Mexican secret," Paul grinned.

"Smarty pants," she laughed, then saw how he was feeding Michael. "Paul, hold the bottle up. You don't want him to suck in air and be gassy. Lord knows it's enough I have to deal with _yours_ on a regular basis."

"Be glad it's mine and not Spanky's. He's a fucking pig that doesn't care where he burps or lets it rip from the other end. No wonder Mimi walks eighty feet ahead of him in public sometimes."

"Anyway, one gassy man in this house is plenty, thank you very much."

"Time to burp the little prince. At least I won't have to worry about him barfing directly on me. Thank Christ for burp cloths."

He placed the cloth on his shoulder before putting Michael there, patting his back. "Come on, Mikey. Give _Papi _a little burp."

Michael fussed a bit, not appreciating his breakfast being interrupted. Paul continued to pat the baby's back, alternating rubbing in between pats. Soon he let out a loud belch.

"That's _Papi's_ boy," he praised.

"Well, at least I know what side of the family he gets it," Montana teased. "And your shoulder was just initiated."

"As I said, good thing there's burp cloths. The kid's already pissed on me today. I never had _that_ problem with the girls."

"I'm sure you had moments where you aimed at your parents too. You boys very likely peed on your mother, shit on her, sneezed on her and puked on her."

"Among other things as we got older," Paul grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.

"I'm sure. You three were probably the biggest hell that poor woman ever raised."

"Hey, we were perfect angels," he protested.

"My mother in law begs to differ," she laughed. "So what are you planning to do today?"

"Go to the gym, I suppose. Then I have to go to some meeting, Spanky and I have to take his cat to the vet, then pack shit to do our weekend shows. Then we got the trick or treat stuff tomorrow night. And Spank and I will probably terrorize Mimi in between."

"Sounds like fun," she chuckled. "It will just be me and Mikey until Kira comes home."

"Want me to take Mikey so you can hang out with your girlfriends?" Paul offered.

"Thanks, but he'll have the rest of his life to learn your bad habits, let alone Brian's. Besides, he's got his well baby checkup later today before I pick up Kira."

"Oh, right."

"But I appreciate the offer, and if either of us are going to get anything done, we better shove ass."

"Damn," he sighed. "Not even time for a quickie."

Montana shook her head and smiled. Only Paul would have sex on the brain in the midst of a busy morning ahead.


	81. Chapter 81

**Chapter 81**

"How did your meeting go?" Montana asked when she returned that afternoon with Kira and Michael. Kira sprinted off upstairs to change, then over to play with Brady.

"Meh, same old shit," Paul yawned. "Got a bunch of overseas stuff next month, the usual thing we go through every year."

"But you are going this year, right?" she wondered.

"If I'm on the card, yeah." He took Michael, who laughed and patted his face. "And how is our little Londonator here?"

Montana smiled. "Passed with flying colors. Actually, he's progressing faster than most babies his age usually do."

"Whoa, are you saying we may have a baby genius on our hands?"

"I wouldn't go _that_ far, Paul, but he does seem to be doing quite well. So how was the rest of your day?"

"Well, you know I couldn't get through it without heckling Spanky about Jeff handing his ass to him last week."

"Paul, that's terrible," Montana chided him.

"What? He's bagged on me about jobbing all the time. I have to admit, though, that offense he put on Hunter was pretty impressive. What other one hundred and eighty four pound midget could knock Hunter down?" He began to laugh.

"Better be careful about heckling him or he may knock _you_ down," she teased.

"Wouldn't be the first time," Paul replied. "Besides, Jeff isn't the only one that can kick his ass."

"Mmmm hmm. We'll see about that one of these days when you tease him one time too many."

Paul smiled. He knew Montana tolerated most of his friends because he worked with them and she liked to keep peace, but there was no question that she sincerely liked Brian and enjoyed having him around, even at times when the guy drove _him _nuts.

On top of that, the girls and the baby were crazy about him, and Montana was also close with Mariah and Shaun, who also thought well of him.

_Hell, Mariah worshipped the ground the little fucker walked on, _Paul thought.

"By the way, Mimi called," he said. "There's some Halloween thing going on down at the fire hall Saturday night and she wanted to know if we wanted to go and take the kids."

"Let me guess," Montana chuckled. "There's a big blond kid that wants to go."

"Damn, you're good," Paul nodded.

"And there's free food," she continued, "which means there's also a big half-Mexican kid that wants to go."

"_Mami's_ really good, Mikey," he said to the baby. "So are we in?"

"I don't see why not," she smiled. "One thing about parties like that, they're supervised and we don't have to have the candy x-rayed."

"Good point. And the kids will get to wear their costumes more than once."

"Speaking of costumes, I can't wait to see you guys tomorrow night."

"Oh yes you can. Frankly, I'll be glad when it's over."

"For heaven's sake, Paul, it could have been worse; he could have gone with the Tarzan idea where you wore the loincloth."

"Thank Christ I talked him out of that one. I was not about to go out like that with my daughters. What the hell was he _thinking?"_

"Well, you would have been the talk of the neighborhood, that's for sure."

"Yeah, like some of these old hags don't gossip enough about me already when I don't have a shirt on to go get the mail. Jesus. They think you're this nice girl that's married to some savage."

Montana batted her eyes playfully. "Well, am I a nice girl?"

Paul raised an eyebrow. "Depends on who you ask and when, baby."

She went into the kitchen, peering into the cupboards and refrigerator. "So what does my savage feel like for dinner?"

"Mikey and I vote for steak."

"Paul, he doesn't even have teeth yet. But I guess we can do that."

"_Gracias_. Do we have any Tabasco left?"

"Yes, and you're putting it on your portion when it's done."

"Want me to go fire up the barbecue?"

"Sounds good, but think you can change Michael first? Just make sure you stand off to the side and….."

"Right. So I don't get rained on again. Thanks for the warning."


	82. Chapter 82

**Chapter 82**

"I cannot believe you actually talked me into this shit," Paul groaned on Halloween. "You honestly expect me to walk around with the girls like this?"

"Well, it was either this or Tarzan and Cheetah," Brian shrugged. "Consider it the lesser of two evils."

"Sure, and since when is the Lone Ranger short and blond?"

"Since Tonto became half Mexican. And if I say so myself, you make one hot looking Tonto." He pinched Paul's ass.

"Fucking hell, cut that out!" Paul yelled.

"I think this warrants a second opinion," Brian grinned. "Hey, Montana!"

"What's up?" she called back.

"Need an opinion on Tonto here. What do you think?"

"Holy hell, Spanky," Paul groaned. "Why not embarrass me further?"

"What? It isn't like you're going to be walking around the neighborhood half naked while I'm suffocating in a monkey costume. Come to think of it, I'm glad you talked me out of that one."

"And I'd been stuck as Jane," Montana said, coming in with the girls. "Wow, I never thought Tonto looked so good. I think I wouldn't mind being your squaw later tonight."

"Jesus, now the Indian jokes commence."

"_Papi, _you make a really good Indian," Mac praised.

"Yeah, you look like a real one," Kira agreed.

"Guess you're outvoted on this one, PL," Brian said.

"I despise you. Did Tonto ever scalp the Lone Ranger?"

"Nope."

"Guess there should be a first time for everything."

"Right. Here, Tonto, put your headband on; we got a stash to get your kids." He put on his black mask before going over to pose in a mirror. "Damn, I am one fine ass Lone Ranger."

"In _your_ world maybe," Paul laughed.

"Hey, I was going to rent horses to complete the whole effect."

"_Oquela, _can you draw any more attention to us?"

"I said _was_. First, there was the issue with permits and stuff, and second, I wasn't keen on the idea of cleaning up horse patties off the street. Long story short, I decided to pass on that idea."

"Thank God."

"And here is our little pumpkin," Montana said, picking up Michael.

"Awww, he's so cute!" the girls cooed. "Can we take him with us? _Please?"_

"Maybe next year. He's too young to go out now. He's going to pass out goodies with me."

"Besides, he might rain on Tonto," Brian joked.

"Shut up!" Paul said, playfully punching him.

"Why is the bag of Snickers miniatures already open?" Montana wondered while emptying candy into large bowls.

"_Papi_ ate some," Kira spoke up.

"Busted," Brian said.

"Paul!" Montana scolded. "They're for the trick or treaters!"

"Some little fairy princess has a big mouth," Paul said, raising an eyebrow. "Besides, I was hungry."

"We just had dinner two hours ago. Good lord."

"Tonto's a growing boy," Brian laughed.

"Well, luckily, the 'growing boy' left some for the expected callers."

"I only had a few pieces," Paul protested. "It isn't like I killed the whole bag."

"Good thing, or I would have killed _you_. Now, if you all are ready, it's time to go out and fill some girls' bags."

"And maybe mine," Brian said with a wicked grin. "Let's go, Tonto. We have some work to do. High ho, away!"

_Later that night:_

Montana was tired; when the last of the kids had gone and the treat bowls empty, she sighed and kicked off her shoes, easing into a chair. Beside her, Michael yawned.

"You are not kidding, my little man," she said to him. "I think someone had a long evening and ready for his bed, isn't he? Well, let's get you there before the tribe returns or I will never get you down in peace."

She carried Michael upstairs, putting on a clean diaper and sleeper before putting him in his crib, waiting until he had gone to sleep before going back downstairs with the baby monitor to clean up.

Montana had just finished up when everyone had arrived home with bulging trick or treat bags, their bounty fully checked and x-rayed at the local hospital. She had rationed treats out for the girls to have before they had to dress for bed and putting the rest away.

"Don't make a lot of noise up there," she warned them. "Michael's asleep."

"What a night," Paul said, beginning to pull off his costume.

"Damn, PL, why not strip in the middle of the living room?" Brian asked.

"My pants are still on."

"You should have see it, Mon," Brian said. "There were people thinking PL looked like a real Indian. It was great."

"It wasn't great. It was embarrassing as hell," Paul replied.

"And then we went to this one house where this one chick lives. She had some pretty good candy, but that wasn't all."

"Spanky….."

"Oh?" Montana smiled, very interested.

"The Lone Ranger didn't have anything better to do than check out women," Paul retorted. "Wait till Mimi gets wind of this."

"Nah, she wasn't my type, but damn, PL was sure hers. She was checking his ass out. I'm telling you, Mon, this chick was a bleached blond with a pair of huge—"

"**SPANKY!" **Paul bellowed.

Montana began to break out laughing. "I think I get the idea."

"Yeah," Brian continued. "Good thing you totally snatched this one up, Mon. He'd have tons of prospects otherwise."

"Not funny, Spanky," Paul growled.

"You're a tit man. Nothing wrong with that. Imagine if you'd done the Tarzan costume. Woo woo. Even the gay dudes three houses down were looking him over, Mon."

"I'm not surprised," Montana smiled.

"Is NOTHING sacred with you?" Paul shot him a dirty look.

"Hell no. But look at it this way. God forbid, should something happen to our lovely Montana here, you should have no problem finding a replacement of _either_ gender."


	83. Chapter 83

**Chapter 83**

They had just returned from the Halloween party that Saturday night, accompanied by Mariah and Shaun, all of them now collapsed in various parts of the living room.

"Oh God, I think I'm going to puke," Paul groaned, laying back on the couch with his hand on his stomach and his arm thrown over his eyes.

"Well, that's what you get for making a pig of yourself," Montana said, shaking her head. "I think you and Brian ate more than the girls did."

"_Papi_ ate a lot," Kira giggled. "Especially candy."

"Thanks, shorty; I'm glad you're enjoying my agony."

Brian let out a loud belch. "Ah, finally," he sighed. "Been trying to get that fucker out since we left the hall."

"Oh, that's romantic," Mariah rolled her eyes. "Jesus, Brian. You just burped in my ear."

"What do you expect, Mariah? It's _Brian_," Shaun replied, laughing. "One would think you'd be used to it by now."

"Gee, Shaun, thanks a lot." Brian blew a raspberry.

"Yep, classic Spanky," Paul agreed. "At least when I belch, I don't do it in some woman's ear."

"Yes you did," Montana spoke up. "On our wedding night."

"When did that happen?"

"You had too much champagne, _marido," _she reminded him.

"I thought champagne made you fart," Brian said, looking over at Paul.

"Oh, we had that happening too," Montana nodded. "It was an interesting night, to say the least."

"Gee, Spanky, why not just tell the whole neighborhood?" Paul shot Brian a dirty look.

"Thanks, I think I will."

"Paul, you if anyone should know by now you may as well take out a full page ad in the newspaper when you tell Brian anything you don't want the world to know," Mariah reminded him.

"Kind of like you, huh, Mimi?" Brian retorted. He was rewarded with a whack on the head.

"Ow!" he yelled. "Bitch, watch the hair."

"Screw your hair. Stop being an ass wipe."

"I think both of your mouths need to be locked shut sometimes," Paul answered.

Michael began to yawn and the girls slowly nod off, which was not lost on Montana. "I think our little costume champion is ready for bed," she smiled, picking him up, "and so are two little girls."

"Can you get me some Alka Seltzer while you're up?" Paul asked.

"Paul, you have two legs and two hands, and if they are working and you can get it yourself, don't you think you should?"

He groaned in response.

"You heard the lady, lazy ass," Brian said. "Get your own shit."

"Bite me, Spanky."

"Sorry, dude, you aren't my type. Besides, I'm not hungry."

"I'll help you with the kids," Shaun offered, following Montana upstairs.

"So did you decide?" Mariah asked after they were gone.

"Decide what?" Paul wondered.

"Mon's Christmas thing you were telling us about, dumb ass," Brian reminded him.

"Oh yeah, the mother's ring. I think I know which style. I'm going down to order it Monday. I want to get it done as soon as possible before they start the holiday rush shit."

"You didn't pick out that chintzy one that you showed me, right? If I were Montana, I'd kill your ass if I saw that," Brian said.

"No, I found something better. You can add stones if there's more kids or something like that."

"Wow, dude, I'm impressed. That's some serious bucks."

"You think Mon will have more kids?" Mariah asked.

"After Mikey, I doubt it, but one never knows," Paul shrugged. "And he's not even crawling yet, so it might be awhile even if she _was_ thinking about it."

"Good, there's enough of your DNA running around as it is," Brian joked.

"It could be worse; it could be _yours_ that is running loose. Now there's a scary thought," Paul shot back laughingly.

"Yeah, little blond people that burp in women's ears," Mariah giggled. "I should totally snatch this one up. He may have tons of other prospects."

"That's right, I do, Mimi. And don't you forget it."

Montana and Shaun came back downstairs. "Three little angels off in dreamland," Shaun announced.

Montana was carrying a bag that she dropped in Paul's lap. "Take that to the Dumpster for me?"

"How come I get stuck taking the shitty diaper bag out?"

"Because, one, I just put three kids to bed, and two, it's dark out and you know enough martial arts to kill someone if they decide to attack."

"I'll go with you, dude. Then we can both kill the killer," Brian offered.

"The smell of this bag alone would make a serial killer run the other way." Paul made a face. "Jesus, what does that kid eat?"

"Baby food," Montana replied. "Go."

"All right. Geez."

They headed out toward the Dumpster.

"You know what would really be funny?" Brian asked.

"Humor me."

"Lighting that bag, throwing it on the porch of one of those old hags that gives you a hard time about going around with no shirt on and yelling "FIRE!"

"Spanky, that trick is done with a paper bag and dog shit. We have a whole different thing here. Besides, it would be just my luck to get caught and have the cops called on us, not to mention we're a bit old for Halloween pranks anyway."

"Oh well, it was a thought. Plus I don't think you'd want to listen to Montana raise hell about you lighting baby shit and throwing it on porches."

"That too. Not exactly a role model I want to be for my own kids.And if they ever want to pull Halloween pranks someday, they have to do some Londonator style. You know, something no one will expect or predict that is coming."

They dumped the bag into the bin, and then headed back to the house.


	84. Chapter 84

**Chapter 84**

A few nights later, Montana had gone shopping for some items to freeze for Thanksgiving, something she'd done for years in order to avoid the last-minute rush. She knew by going early, she stood a better chance of getting a good turkey, and it could be frozen far enough ahead of time. The only things she would need at the last minute would be perishables such as produce, and that usually wasn't difficult at all.

Now with the girls and Michael tucked away in bed and Paul out doing whatever he and Brian were into, Montana had some rare quiet time to herself, and she took advantage by sipping some of her favorite herbal tea and watch a few of her favorite programs in peace.

The late news had just ended when Montana had heard tapping on the front door. She opened it and saw Beverly standing there.

"Bev," she said. "Is everything all right? It's late and the kids are sleeping."

"I just wanted to give you advance warning," Beverly replied in a low voice. "My boyfriend's police scanner was on and a call came over. Paul and Brian got picked up!"

"_What?" _Montana stared at her in shock. "What on earth happened?"

"Not sure on the entire story, but something about disorderly conduct and urinating in public."

"Dear God," Montana sighed. "This has to be some of Brian's doing. Could you stay here with the kids while I go figure out what the hell is going on?"

"Of course. They're down at County in case you were wondering, most likely still in the holding tanks."

Montana nodded, sliding on a pair of shoes. "Thanks. I hopefully will be back with the two rebels in awhile."

_A short while later:_

"Why is it every time I go out with you anymore, we end up in some kind of trouble?" Paul asked while they were in a holding cell.

"_You're_ the one that came up with the idea to piss on an electric fence," Brian slurred.

"I didn't know it would send shock waves."

"Dude, even the biggest moron would know power and piss don't mix. And it wasn't cool when you pushed me into the thing either. You're lucky I didn't get fried."

"You shouldn't have laughed at me, dumb ass."

"Hey, I may have pissed on the fence, but I wasn't the one that climbed under it and ran all over the pasture half naked before the cops showed up."

"Yeah, too bad. That one cop had a nice ass."

"Jesus, Spanky. From now on, you are not touching any more Corona."

Paul then noticed that Brian was staring at him with a drunken smile.

"What?" hel asked. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Brian plopped himself into Paul's lap, much to Paul's dismay. "I love you so much, PL. Why you put up with all my shit, I don't know, but I really love you."

"Get off of me, Spanky," Paul grunted, trying to shove him off.

Brian didn't budge, wrapping his arms around Paul's neck and planting a huge kiss on his cheek.

"**GET OFF OF ME!" **Paul yelled, shoving Brian to the floor. "Jesus Christ, you really want people to think we're homos?"

"Is that a problem?"

"This is not the time, drunk ass."

A guard then knocked on the cell door. "Hate to interrupt you lovebirds, but someone is here to pick you two up. Either one of you know someone named Montana?"

"Yes," Paul replied, and then glared at Brian before turning back to the guard. "She's my wife."

"Then you're free to go." The guard then unlocked the door, releasing the pair.

"Come on, Alkie," Paul said, dragging Brian. "Let's go sleep off your cocktails."

They arrived at the lobby after collecting their personal belonging several minutes later, finding Montana with her arms crossed and shaking her head.

"Uh, Mon, listen, I can–" Paul began.

"Save it," she replied. "You're lucky Beverly's uncle is an attorney and was able to help me get you two out before this got on the news sites, or worse, back to management. What the hell were you thinking?"

"PL pissed on an electric fence," Brian slurred as Paul dumped him into the back seat, where he had begun to doze off and snore not long after.

"Great, you not only get into mischief, you're also trying to get yourselves killed. Sometimes I think you're worse than the kids."

"Oh, you haven't heard the best of it," Paul continued. "After the pissing thing, Spanky's drunk, half naked ass went under the fence and chased cows around."

"What?" Montana gave him a strange look.

"I was like 'Poor Betsy,' " Paul replied.

"Well, I guess that proves the theory _anything _looks good when you had a few too many." Montana shook her head.

"I hope _that's_ not what he was doing. He was going up to each cow, petting them, and being like 'Can I have some milk?' It was at that point it was time to cut off his Corona supply and not long after, the cops showed up."

"Um, remind me not to go out drinking with you two anytime soon." Montana made a face.

"Remind me not to go out drinking with Spanky _period_ after this. How did you find out we got busted anyway?"

"Beverly came over. She said she heard about you two getting picked up on her boyfriend's police scanner. That's when we called her uncle and she agreed to stay with the kids while I came to get you guys. Lucky for you two party boys, the two charges are misdemeanors, so you shouldn't be facing too much trouble."

"Okay."

"He's going to try to get things wrapped up as quietly and fast as possible so no sites get hold of this. I don't want either of you in trouble, especially with the push Sleeping Beauty back there is currently getting."

They soon arrived home, Paul poking at Brian. "Hey, Drunky Boy, we've arrived back at

_la casa_. Let's get inside and get you comfy."

"Carry me?"

"Forget it. Move your own ass."

"I'll call Mariah," Montana offered when they got inside. "I think at this point someone should stay here if we want to keep him alive."

She then turned to Beverly. "Were the kids okay?"

Beverly nodded. "The girls never woke up. Michael woke up for a bottle and then went right back to sleep not long after I fed him. He is such a good baby."

"Yeah, I have more trouble with the _big_ baby here," Montana answered, indicating Paul.

"Come on now, I only had a couple."

"Which was still a couple too many and you peed on an electric fence."

"Yeah, true. Still, it was Spanky that got wasted and chased cows."

"Chased _what?" _Beverly looked confused.

"You know Brian has had too much to drink when he's asking farm animals for a beverage," Paul clarified.

"Uh, I don't think you need to elaborate," Beverly chuckled. "Anyway, Mon, I need to head back home while you put these big babies to bed."

"Right," Montana nodded. "Thanks again for everything."

She turned to Paul after Beverly was gone. "Go get your drinking buddy there some pillows and blankets while I call Mariah. Be lucky it isn't _you_ that will be on the couch tonight."

"Sure. I'll meet you upstairs in a bit."

_Jesus, _he thought as he got out the blankets and pillows from the linen closet_, how do I always get myself into these things?_


	85. Chapter 85

**Chapter 85**

"Morning, Grumpy Gus," Paul said the next morning, carrying Michael before setting him down for breakfast and starting the coffee pot. Montana was gone for an early appointment and the girls had already left for school.

Brian grunted in response.

"Hung over yet?" Paul asked

"I'm not grumpy and hung over, you asshole," Brian snapped. "And why is that fucking coffee pot taking so long?''

"Sorry, had to wipe the little prince's ass and now have to feed him."

"How hard is it to make coffee? I thought you were my and Montana's slave boy. We could make you mow the lawn, you know!"

"I actually suck at lawn mowing, unfortunately for both of you," Paul grinned, spooning cereal into Michael's mouth. The baby made a face a few times, but ate with little fuss. "Anyway, your beloved coffee will be ready in a few minutes. There's some corn flakes and eggs out there too"

"Ahh, thank God."

"And by the way, you are so done with the Corona after last night."

"Huh? What? I know a little about the cops picking us up, but what the hell else did I do?"

Paul said nothing, but began shaking his head and snickering instead.

"Come on, PL, what happened?"

"You don't remember Betsy?"

"_Who?"_

"The cow you molested."

"What kind of girls was I _flirting_ with last night?"

"Big chunky ones with huge tits." Paul broke out laughing. He didn't have the heart to tell Brian the actual story, though Mariah already knew and had laughed hysterically.

"Oh….okay."

_Dumb little shit, _Paul thought. _He thinks he was only chubby chasing last night._

"Anyway, think you can stay with Mikey for a few? I have to shave."

"Better wash your pits too," Brian joked, getting coffee. "I can smell you clear out here. It's a wonder that poor kid hasn't keeled over yet. Jesus, how does Montana sleep next to that reek every night?"

"They always say one knows they found their soul mate when they can stand the smell of your pits."

"Montana must really be yours to tolerate that stink. Dude, seriously, you need a shower."

"As do _you, _Drunky Boy. You smell like a stale brewery."

"Think I can join you?"

"NO. You need to stay with Mikey." Paul shot him a look.

"Okay, can't say I never offered."

"I'll be back down in about twenty minutes. Just give Mikey the rest of his cereal and the bottle."

Brian looked at the cereal jar after Paul had gone upstairs. "_Farina? _Damn, no wonder you were making weird faces while your _papi_ was feeding you. You must go through torture with your parents. You got to eat and drink like a _man_, little dude. Here, try some of this."

He gave Michael a mushy corn flake, followed by a tiny, cooled-offed amount of coffee. Michael smiled and smacked his lips, seeming to enjoy the new food and beverage.

"Yeah, that's more like it, huh? Let's try a little more before _Papi_ gets back down here." He then looked around. "Here, let's try a little egg, too. I don't know about you, Mikey, but we're dumping this fucking farina shit before the king returns."

Michael laughed, receiving more of the new, tasty items happily for a few more moments before Brian heard a noise upstairs.

"Looks like your _papi_ is headed back down soon. Time for the bottle. Wouldn't want us to get busted, would we?" Brian winked at the baby, who smiled back at him as he dumped the remaining farina into the wastebasket.

"Thought you fell in," he commented when Paul came back down.

"Very funny. Your turn. I guess the kid finished eating?"

"You could say that. The bottle is sucked dry too. He's all yours."

"Ahh, good Mikey." Paul picked him up as Brian headed to the shower.

"What's wrong, buddy?" he asked at one point when Michael began to fuss a little. "It's _Papi_. Surely I'm not that damn scary. Wait…you need to burp? You got gas, kiddo?"

Paul patted the baby's back as he spoke soothingly to Michael. Soon he let out a loud burp, following by the unmistakable sound of a baby spitting up.

"What the hell…." Paul began, observing the foreign objects on the burp cloth. "Jesus, Mikey, what did Brian give you? Some of that isn't baby cereal; I know that for sure. I should kick his ass."

"All done, dude, and I cleaned up the john for you," Brian announced, drying his hair with a towel.

"Spanky, how did this baby get pieces of corn flakes and scrambled egg in him?"

"Thought he'd like a little variety. Dude, no offense, but farina isn't where it's at."

"He's not even six months old. What part of Mikey needing only baby food don't you understand? You know Montana will have my ass in a sling if this kid gets sick because of your goofy ideas."

"He liked black coffee with Splenda too," Brian added with a grin.

"_Oquela. _You're really enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Little guy's got to eat like a man sometime."

"He has at least the next twenty one years, dumb ass. Seriously, it's baby food till his _mami_ or I say so. Got it?"

"Okay, fine. Little dude isn't sick, is he?"

"No, I think he barfed up most of it."

"Oh….good. Wouldn't want you in trouble with _Mami _because of me."

"Yes, I've been in enough trouble the last twenty-four hours because of you, thanks very much."

"So I was really coming on to some chick called Betsy?"

Paul grinned again, trying to restrain himself from laughing. "To say the least, yes."

"Damn. Mimi's going to kill me when she gets wind of this."

"I doubt that very much. She might be amused."

"Yeah, after she kicks my ass to the curb."

"Mimi? Nah, I think in this case, she might think you've suffered enough being locked up for a few hours last night and give you a pass."

_After she's done laughing her own ass off, _Paul thought silently.


	86. Chapter 86

**Chapter 86**

A few nights later at Raw, all three brands were present. Beverly had been keeping the girls so they wouldn't miss school as well as was taking care of Michael, leaving Montana free to go with Paul, a chance she rarely had.

Mariah was still amused about the whole drunk Brian and the cows incident (which he still didn't remember and no one had filled him in), and Brian _still_ couldn't figure out why she had taken everything so well.

Also still laughing about it, Paul wrote in the men's room at the arena, "Brian loves cows" on the wall right above the toilet paper dispenser and drew a cow for future reference.

"You are horrible," Montana chuckled when he'd told her what he had done.

"Serves him right for dragging me into all the shit he's done," Paul replied. "Besides, I doubt anyone outside of us would get the joke anyway."

"I don't think he's going to even get it," Montana smiled. "Poor Brian."

"Oh, wait until you see that he's hosting Kiss Cam tonight," Paul laughed.

"What? I thought the divas did that."

"Usually yeah, but they had Khali do it once, so I decided to be a smart ass, suggested Spanky, and they loved the idea. So he's up for tonight. He's going to piss himself. Zeke's already back there laughing his ass off, and that dude _rarely_ cracks a smile."

"I'm guessing Bri doesn't know about this."

"Not yet," Paul nodded. "That's going to be the fun part; the cocky heel kicking ass and taking names with his Chippendale-esque dance moves and the bodyguard so scary, a serial killer would probably run away, hosting the Kiss Cam." He began to laugh.

"You better hope he doesn't try to kiss _you_," Montana said with a giggle.

"Not a chance. I'll will be plenty of distance away, preferably back here with you. I probably won't be on the card again anyway, so I may as well go count tiles."

"Oh, for Pete's sake." Montana shook her head.

"You have any better ideas?"

"We could watch the show together," she suggested. "It's not like I get to come with you all the time without the kids. Speaking of which, I should check in with Bev to see how they are."

"You just talked to her earlier."

"She called me to ask about how much to give Michael in his bottle," Montana reminded him. "It's been awhile since she cared for a baby on an extended basis."

"Well, at least she isn't giving him coffee and eggs," Paul said, referring to the incident of Brian sharing his breakfast with Michael a few days before.

"Yes, not exactly a good thing for him just yet, even if he did like it."

"I didn't exactly enjoy _wearing_ it, burp cloth or otherwise."

"Relish the time now; in twenty years, you'll be crying at his wedding." Montana gave him a smile. "I'll be back in a minute."

_Later:_

They had been halfway through the show of promos, matches, videos, and commentaries before Brian had gone out for a promo and found he would be doing the Kiss Cam afterward. A few people had bitten their lips to keep from laughing, and he hadn't been thrilled at first, but Montana had thought she had spotted a familiar gleam in his eye.

She had an idea what was coming, and prepared herself, not saying a word to Paul. He wasn't paying much attention anyway.

The usual couples kissed here and there when they were shown on camera before Cole and King's commentary snapped Paul's attention and he realized the camera was on him.

"What the…." he began.

It was then Montana grabbed him in a deep, passionate kiss, resulting in cheers of approval from the crowd and a slick smile from Brian. It was all Zeke could do to keep his straight face.

"Jesus, Mon, you just made out with me in front of millions of people!" he complained.

"Since when are you objecting?" she grinned. "We have a license anyway."

"**SPANKY! **I'm going to kick your ass!" Paul bellowed, taking off after him it was over and Brian had gotten backstage.

Brian howled with laughter, getting a quick start while Paul chased him around backstage, cursing him in both English and Spanish.

"What a couple of goofballs," Montana chuckled, shaking her head. "I will admit this beats another evening at home in front of the TV."


	87. Chapter 87

**Chapter 87**

After the show was over, Paul, Montana, Brian and Mariah made their way to the car to after saying goodnight to Shaun.

"Where are we eating?" Brian asked.

"Leave it to you to think about food," Mariah laughed.

"Hey, I worked hard tonight. I didn't get it off unlike some people."

"Yeah, Kiss Cam took a lot of effort," Mariah quipped.

"Smart shit."

"More like he worked up his appetite from Paul chasing him around backstage," Montana nodded.

"And I still owe you an ass kicking, Midget," Paul added.

"Right, old man. You couldn't even catch me in the arena."

"Old man?" Montana asked, amused. "Bri, you're a year _older_ than he is."

"And smokes like a forest fire," Paul reminded them. "Go figure."

"Yeah, and to think I can still run from Mr. Clean Living Family Man here," Brian laughed. "So who's driving?"

"I am," Paul replied.

"Nice. It will be two hours before we get food and another two hours before we go back to the hotel."

"I will have you know I am a safe and defensive driver, _tam bien."_

"Yeah, for an _old woman _maybe."

"I'm not the one with a glove compartment full of traffic tickets," Paul countered. "I drive the speed limit. Not one mile above, not one mile below. _Oquela."_

They had just gotten to the car when a loud bang got their attention. "What the hell…." he wondered.

"Probably some truck backfiring, dude," Brian responded.

"No, that was pretty loud for a backfire. And no trucks passed by. I'm checking it out."

"I'm going with you," Brian nodded. "It's probably nothing, but better to go in pairs."

"You're a nosy shit anyway, but yeah, you're right." Paul turned to the women. "You girls stay here and watch the car. We should be back in a few."

They headed in the direction of where the noise had originated, seeing nothing at first, before Brian saw a figure out of the corner of his eye running and Paul spied a woman on the ground.

While Brian took off after the runner, Paul went to what appeared to be someone seriously injured.

"Montana!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. "Call 911! This lady's been shot!"

_A short time later:_

"Oh my God, Paul, this woman's pregnant," Montana gasped, working quickly to make the unconscious and bleeding woman comfortable as possible.

Quick on his feet as always, he had ripped off his shirt, not caring about the chill in the air, and made a tourniquet, wrapping it around the wound to stop the bleeding. So far, he had been successful.

"Where the fuck are the medics and the cops?" Paul asked anxiously, before swearing in Spanish.

"I think I hear them now," Montana answered. "And where did Brian go?"

"He saw someone run from here and went after them. I just hope to Christ he didn't do anything stupid and get himself killed."

"My God, Paul, that could be the shooter!"

"Exactly my point."

Montana bent over the woman. "She's still breathing. The bleeding's stopped too."

A few feet away, Mariah directed the ambulance toward where the woman lay, heading down toward Paul and Montana. She too was holding her breath that things would turn out for the best.

_Meanwhile:_

Brian had flagged down the first police car that arrived at the scene as the man groaned underneath him.

"One more move, asshole, and you'll live to regret it, if I let you live that long," he seethed. "I don't take kindly to people who shoot women."

Two officers came over. "This the guy?"

"Yeah, this is who saw running and went after him. My buddy is over there with the person this scum shot. He heard the blast and went to check it out. That's when I saw this guy running."

Another groan came from the suspect.

"Go ahead, motherfucker, and you'll get drop kicked again. Now, make no scene, go with these officers quietly and there will be no problems," Brian said.

"You know, you took a big risk tackling this guy," one officer warned him.

"I've kicked asses of guys bigger than that loser," Brian nodded as the suspect was cuffed by the second cop. "It's part of my job."

"Hey, wait a minute. Aren't you…."

Brian nodded, smiling. "Yes, sir." He stuck his hand out to shake. "Good to make your acquaintance, though too bad it wasn't under better circumstances, Officer…."

"Sergeant," the man replied, returning the handshake. "Sergeant Todd. My daughter is a big fan of yours. She's ten. Listen, do you think I could…."

"No problem. I have some photos in my bag back at the car as soon as your business is taken care of."

"Great," the sergeant nodded. "In the meantime, you're going to need to go over and give a statement to the detectives before we haul this guy down to the precinct. You got lucky this time. We usually don't encourage citizens to go after suspects, especially when they're armed."

"Well, better me getting killed trying than letting that poor woman suffer and not knowing who was responsible," Brian replied, heading back to the scene to speak with detectives.

_A few hours later:_

"How is she?" Montana wondered.

Detective Marilyn Fontana was touched by the concern of the woman in front of her; doctors had already told Detective Fontana and her partner that if Paul hadn't acted as quickly as he had, chances were good the victim would not had survived at the scene, much less made it to the hospital and through surgery. The baby had been delivered via C-section, but it was a full term and healthy boy.

"The baby's all right?" Montana asked with concern.

"Both mother and baby are going to be fine, thanks to your husband's quick thinking," Fontana smiled at her. "It's probably going to be a few days before my partner and I can talk to her and find out what happened, but the doctors are optimistic she will recover."

Montana sighed with relief. "Thank goodness. Does her family know?"

"My partner was able to contact her husband. He's on his way here."

"Why would anyone want to shoot a pregnant chick?" Brian asked. "I don't know about anyone else here, but that's fucking pathetic in my book."

"More than pathetic," Mariah added. "It's disgusting. I hope that scumbag you caught gets the book thrown at him."

Brian jerked his thumb over at Paul, who had dozed off. "Looks like our hero's rough night finally caught up with him."

Montana smiled over at Paul's sleeping figure. "Let him sleep. You know, I should check on the kids first thing in the morning. This whole thing tonight just makes me want to go home and hug all three of them."

.


	88. Chapter 88

**Chapter 88**

"Paul," Montana said, waking him gently the next morning.

"Hmmmm?" he moaned, turning back over.

"Come on, wake up. I know we got back late, but come on."

He grunted again in response. "uhhh uhhh."

"You have a call," she said, giving him another shove.

"Tell them I died."

"It's the husband of the woman who was shot in the arena parking lot last night."

"Jesus, Mon!" he exclaimed, jumping out of bed. "Why didn't you say something?"

"What do you think I've been trying to tell you for the last five minutes or so? It's not my fault you're grouchy in the morning."

"Between the excitement of last night and then your attack on me when we got back here, I didn't get much beauty sleep."

"I don't recall you complaining about the 'hero's welcome' part last night, mister," she teased.

"Wonder how this guy got the number?"

"At this point, who knows and who cares?"

"I hope this dude isn't some kind of psycho."

"I seriously doubt it, Paul. The man's poor wife was shot last night. Go talk to him."

Paul had talked to the man for awhile while Montana showered and packed their things, getting ready for their flight home. The conversation had lasted at least forty-five minutes before he finally ended the call.

"How is everything?" Montana asked when he was finished.

"You won't believe it," Paul said.

"What? Did something go wrong?"

"On the contrary. They named the kid after me and Spanky. That's where he got the number. Evidently, Mimi talked to him at the hospital last night, gave him Brian's number, he called Brian, who told him what I did to the wife, and then gave him my number. By the way, she's doing great and probably will be out of ICU in a day or two."

"That's wonderful!"

"Anyway," Paul continued, "Ted–that's the guy's name–said Kristen, his wife, had had some trouble being stalked by her ex in the past. Evidently she was at the show last night with a couple of friends and was on her way to a coffee shop to meet them when the ex decided to use her for target practice. That's who Brian saw, took off after, and of course, ambushed and held down till the cops got there. Of course, that part is pretty funny to picture, though."

"How so? I don't find someone shooting their ex very funny." Montana shook her head.

"Oh no, not that. The guy that shot Kristen is like over two hundred pounds, and shit, we've all seen Spanky. I knew I loved that little fucker for some reason. Talk about the size of the fight in the dog."

"Yes," Montana agreed. "Still, I'm just glad he didn't get himself hurt or worse, killed."

The phone rang again; Paul checked the Caller ID. "Hey, speak of the devil," he grinned before answering it. "Hey, hero. What's happening?"

"If anyone deserves the 'hero' title, it's _you, _dude," Brian replied. "Did the pregnant lady's husband call you? I kind of gave him your number. I hope you aren't pissed."

"Actually, not at all. I just talked to the guy. He seems pretty cool. He tell you about the baby?"

"Yeah. A kid named for us. Imagine that. Poor baby might be scarred for life."

"Oh I don't think so!" Paul laughed. "Actually, it will make quite a story when the little guy gets older."

"Shit!" Brian exclaimed.

"What?"

"Dude, Mimi just showed me the paper. The shooting is in it on the second page."

"Damn, are you serious?" Paul asked.

"Yeah. They got our names in the article and shit."

"Oh fucking hell."

"Guess the whole universe will know by now."

"We got plenty of time before our flight. Why don't you two come over and we can check stuff out on the laptop?" Paul suggested.

Montana shot to attention. "Check out _what_ on the laptop?"

Paul told her.

"Wow, good news spreads fast. Let me turn it on," she replied eagerly.

"Hey, you want to stop by the hospital later before we leave to see if they will let us see Kristen?" Paul asked.

"I don't see why not," Brian responded. "By the way, we'll probably get a summons or something to come back for court as witnesses once they get this thing there. I don't know if anyone told you or not."

"Oh yeah, I think someone said something about that last night before we came back here."

"Who would have thought a normal show night would end like this?"

"Yeah, especially after you hosted the Kiss Cam?" Paul laughed. "And I got to chase you around afterwards."

"Does this mean you're still going to kick my ass?"

"Nah," Paul replied. "I think you tackling and holding down a gunman was getting yourself in enough danger."


	89. Chapter 89

**Chapter 89**

"Look at him," Montana sighed, peering at tiny Paul Brian Southerlyn through the nursery window. "Isn't he adorable?"

"Beautiful," Mariah agreed. "You know, he looks like a smaller version of Michael when he was born."

"Wait a minute!" Paul said. "I had _nothing_ to do with this one!"

"I think you did," Montana smiled. "If it weren't for you and your quick thinking, neither that sweet baby nor his mother would be living right now."

"She's right," Mariah nodded.

"All I did was–"

"Only strip off half your clothes to stop that woman from bleeding to death," Brian grinned. "Good thinking there, PL."

"Oh, I'm sure _you _enjoyed that show," Paul grunted good-naturedly. "And why are you walking so weird today?"

"I think you better direct that question to Mimi," Brian responded, causing Mariah to giggle.

"On second thought, some things are better off _not _knowing."

"What? Heroes are _sexy_," Mariah replied with a twinkle in her eye.

"No argument from here," Montana agreed.

"Yeah, maybe I should chase and tackle dudes with guns more often," Brian joked.

"Right, you're going to risk getting yourself killed just for a piece of ass from your woman," Paul said. "I don't think so, dude."

"Anyway, how's Kristen doing?" Montana inquired.

"She's great. Her husband just showed up so I gave them some quality time," Brian answered.

Montana looked at her watch. "In the midst of all of this excitement, I still haven't called Bev to check on the kids. I'll be back in a moment. She should be giving Michael his breakfast by now."

"Ahhh, they typical _mami_," Paul said lowly. "Always worried about their little _niños."_

"You don't have to hide anything from us either, PL," Brian smiled. "I saw the look on your face when they took Kristen away last night. You were worried about the little guy in there. It was almost as if it were Mikey instead."

"Yeah, well…it was an innocent life. He wasn't even born yet. He and his _mami_ almost didn't live."

"That and you're just a soft old sap." Brian patted his shoulder. "I'm still proud of you, dude. Thanks to you, that kid in there has a chance to grow up to be President."

"And thanks to you," Paul responded with a grin, "the psycho that could have killed both of them has been caught and is going away for a very long time."

"Just another night at the office, PL. I think I could use some coffee right now. Anyone else want to join me?"


	90. Chapter 90

**Chapter 90**

"**SURPRISE!" **the girls yelled when they all came in the door that evening.

"Well," Montana asked, obviously pleased. "What is all of this?"

"We heard what happened," Beverly explained, "and a hero's welcome was in order."

"What a spread," Mariah commented. "You must have spent a king's ransom."

"We all chipped in," Shaun nodded. "It was worth every nickel. By the way, we saved all the articles too. Thought you'd like to have them for your photo albums."

"_Papi_ and Uncle Spanky are heroes," Kira said proudly. "Real life heroes!"

"I wouldn't go that–" Paul began.

"Yep," Mac cut in. "He kept a _mami_ and her baby from dying and Uncle Spanky caught the bad guy."

"You know, not many people would have risked that," Shaun added. "You guys took a very big chance."

"Kind of a good thing we thought to see what the hell was going on when we heard the shots," Paul replied. "I would have hated to think what the outcome would have been otherwise."

"Hey, check it out, lots of dead animal!" Brian said cheerfully, digging into the buffet.

Mariah rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "You'd think I starved that man to death all the time."

"No offense, Mimi, but most of the time, you do. Hell, recently, _you've_ been even puking up some of your own shit. Now that's pretty bad."

Montana turned to her. "You didn't say anything about that. Have you been sick?"

"Um….just a little. Listen, Mon, could we discuss that in private a little later? I meant to talk to you about something, but with what happened the last few days, I didn't get much time to get around to it."

"Sure, we can talk later."

"Hey, Spanky, save some for everyone else," Paul warned laughingly, digging in himself.

Montana picked up Michael, who gave her a wide smile. "Come here, you," she said. "Let's get your own dinner. We can't let you have that little tummy empty, can we?"

"Of course not," Shaun laughed, giving Michael's stomach a little tickle. "We're a growing boy, aren't we?"

"He grows any more, he's going to pass up his _papi _by the time he's toilet trained," Montana joked, preparing Michael's baby food.

"Speaking of _Papi_, what's with the humble act? He saves two lives and acts like it's nothing."

"Oh, you know him, Shaun. He's not one that doesn't want a big fuss made over everything he does. But this _is_ a big deal. Mr. Southerlyn came so close to losing his entire family and a gunman almost got away. It was almost as if those two guys were meant to be there at that time to prevent a further tragedy from happening."

"Amen to that," Shaun agreed. "As they say, things happen for a reason."

She then turned to Mariah. "You've been awful quiet."

"Yeah, well, I got some stuff on my mind."

"I kind of gathered that. There isn't anything wrong at home, is there?" Montana wondered.

"No….it isn't that. Everything's fine, at least for now."

"Wait, does this have to do with you being sick lately?"

"Something like that," Mariah nodded. "Let's just say I missed a couple of pills."

"Oh God, Mariah," Beverly said softly. "Are you trying to say…."

Mariah nodded. "I'm late anyway. I've never been late in my whole life."

"You don't know for sure?" Montana pressed as she fed Michael. "How long has this been going on?"

"Just the last week or so."

"We're getting you tested," Montana said firmly. "No use jumping to conclusions until we have a firm answer."

"Something tells me if this thing's positive, I am so dead," Mariah sighed.

"Or maybe not," Montana reassured her. "I had my doubts when I first found out about Michael too, but as you can see, things worked out for the best."

"Yeah, Mon, but you were already married, plus Paul already had two girls to boot. I'm in a totally different situation."

"Bri's great with kids," Shaun replied. "You just never know."

"Yes, but those are the ones he can _give back_," Mariah sighed. "One of his own, I'm not so sure."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves just yet," Montana said. "I'll call my doctor in a little while and set up an appointment for you to get a test. Once we get the results, then we will know how to proceed."

Mariah smiled a little. "Thanks, guys. I feel a little better now. And maybe you're all right; this just might work out for the best."


	91. Chapter 91

**Chapter 91**

"What's the matter with you?" Paul asked a few days later. "You look like you found out your apartment is haunted or something. There isn't anything wrong with your mom or something, is there?"

"No, Ma's fine," Brian replied. "But did you ever wonder why Mimi ended up going to _your_ wife's OB/GYN the other day?"

Paul sipped more coffee. "No, thought nothing of it. I really don't get into Montana's or her friends' 'female issues'. Jesus, Spanky, what brought this on?"

"Well, the phone call came in yesterday," Brian said. "Mimi's knocked up."

Paul spit out the coffee and coughed. **"WHAT?"**

"Glad you're taking it so well, dude."

"No, no, I was just thrown off for a second. I thought Mimi was on the pill, though."

"She missed a couple, apparently."

"This is why there's something called pulling out," Paul responded.

"Uh, PL? There's at least three times where _you _didn't exactly do that either. Just thought I'd point that out."

"Yeah, but you know what? I couldn't be a happier guy with Mikey and those girls in my life."

"I'm just not sure I can be as good as this dad thing as you are, homeboy."

"I'll let you in on a secret. I was in the same position you are now when I found out Reg was pregnant with Mac. Hell, I was a little shocked when Mon came home and told me she was having Mikey. I thought I was going to be the lousiest _papi _in the world, but I guess I turned out all right, because the kids are all healthy, and Montana hasn't killed me yet. Besides, I've seen you with Mikey and the girls; you already gave the girls 'the talk'–a little more crude than I would have liked, but you did nevertheless– _and _experienced labor when Mikey was born, even if you did pass out. You'll be fantastic, Spank."

"There's a difference, PL. I won't be able to give _this_ kid back to you and Montana at the end of the day."

"How's Mimi taking all of this?" Paul asked.

"She's as much in shock as I am. Damn, PL, we're going to be parents. We never even _thought _about getting married, much less talked about it."

"Who says you have to?"

"Yeah, but it's best to do the right thing, you know? Give the kid a name and all that happy shit. You did that with Reggie when she was having Mac, remember?"

"Good point. Anyway, you know Mon and I are here to help if either of you need anything."

"Thanks, buddy. Damn…..I still can't believe we're having a kid."

"The shock wears off, don't worry," Paul reassured him. "You'll eventually get used to the two AM feedings too."

"_Huh?!"_

"It's only for the first few months or so. Of course, if you have a girl, you'll have to worry about things such as that 'time of the month,' training bras, boyfriends….."

"PL? You're not helping much here."

"Just giving you a heads up what the next twenty-one years may hold in store for you, Spanky."

"How about I just let Mimi do the raising for the first fifteen years and then I take over when the kid is sixteen? Teach him to drive, wrestle, and all the good stuff?"

"Tried that one with Montana," Paul laughed. "It doesn't work."

"Damn."

"You know, they have books about this stuff. I think I still have them around; at least I went back and read them for reference when Mon was pregnant. There's also websites you might want to have a look at. You might want to go to a few Lamaze classes with Mimi too."

"A _what_ class?"

"Lamaze. It's a birth method that that lets mothers tap into their innate birth wisdom and give birth simply and easily."

"Jesus, I am so lost."

"I feel you, dude," Paul patted his shoulder. "I was in your exact position a little over seven years ago. It's perfectly normal to be a little nervous; this is your first one. There's going to be some bumpy roads through the coming years, but the bottom line is having kids is a real blessing. I tell you, Spank, much as they drive me nuts sometimes, I wouldn't trade those girls and Mikey for all the money in the world."

"I guess I broke the law after all, huh?" Brian asked with a grin.

"What are you talking about?"

"Remember you said it was illegal for me to duplicate my DNA?"

"Dude, I was joking around with you," Paul laughed.

"You know, this kid's going to need godparents," Brian said. "Mimi and I were kind of thinking you and Montana. How about it?"

"Well, I can't speak for the wife, but I'll talk to her about it. I'm sure she'll be thrilled with the idea, though. Thing is, if it's a boy, the world better be prepared big time for two of you weirdos."

"Verrrrrrrrrrrrry funny, PL."

"Come on, expectant _papi_," Paul grinned. "Let's go check and see how the _mami_ to be is getting along."


	92. Chapter 92

**Chapter 92**

"Wow, what is that smell?" Mariah asked a few weeks later.

"Watch out, people; the little mother is on an eating mission," Brian warned. "Whatever that is, guys, hide it."

Mariah smacked his head. "Very funny. I happen to be eating for two now."

"You sure it isn't _four?"_

"I certainly hope not!" she laughed.

"Let me guess," Paul called from the kitchen, "Mimi's already got you making fast food runs in the middle of the night."

"You got it, PL," Brian answered.

"Yep, been there, done that a few times."

"Oh, for Pete's sake, Paul, I wasn't _that_ bad," Montana protested.

"Taco Bell at three in the morning? Yeah, whatever you say, dear. It's a wonder Mikey wasn't born wearing a sombrero and saying '_Yo quiero Taco Bell'_."

"Oh, you're just hilarious, Paul Michael. If I remember correctly, you got things from there as often as I did."

"Ah, sympathy hunger!" Brian nodded. "I think Ma said something about that."

"So anyway, what's good?" Mariah wondered.

"Homemade chili," Paul replied cheerfully.

"Oh God," Brian groaned. "We're all going to die."

"There is nothing wrong with my chili," Paul said in protest. "The girls happen to love it."

"Considering how much green sauce and Tabasco you put in that shit, I'm surprised you haven't been picked up for child abuse for feeding it to them. And you raised hell at me for giving Mikey a few corn flakes and a bite of egg."

"Which he can't exactly digest yet, doofus. And I know what I'm doing with my chili!"

"Come on, it's his mom's receipe," Montana spoke up.

Paul ticked off the ingredients list. "Green sauce, Tabasco, cream cheese, three cans of chili, mix it all together in a big pot and we have ourselves a home cooked meal."

"More like weapons of mass destruction," Brian joked. "I'll just microwave some of Montana's fine spaghetti for me and the mother to be in there."

"There is nothing wrong with my chili. It's my _mami's_ recipe, therefore made by and for a Mexican."

"And kills everyone else," Brian said.

Paul grinned wider. "We try to leave that part out."

"If it's any comfort, I can't tolerate very much," Montana replied, "but the girls love it."

"They were practically raised on it," Paul said, "Besides, you should try some, Spanky."

"I'll go get a gallon of water," Montana offered laughingly.

"And some Tums," Paul added. "I keep those around just for him. He should still try this stuff, especially when I bought his damn smokes earlier."

"You bought him cigarettes?" Mariah perked up. "Brian! You said you weren't going to smoke!"

"I said I wasn't going to smoke _in the house around the baby," _he replied.

"Oh geez, you're impossible."

"Hey, I can't give up everything or I may as well be dead."

"Just one bite of this, Spank, and I'll leave you alone," Paul pressed.

"Okay, but you better pray my life insurance covers this."

A few moments went by before a howl was heard from the kitchen. "**JESUS CHRIST**! It tastes like it was made by the devil himself! Oh my God, I can't feel my mouth! Ow ow ow!"

Montana gave Paul a concerned look.

"What?" he asked. "Tastes fine to me."

"Yeah, wait until the flames shoot out of my ass when I have to use the john later," Brian coughed.

"Oh there's an image I need while I'm eating."

"Serves you right, homeboy. You are not putting that lethal brew anywhere near my baby's mama. I will not have you burning up my kid."

"Oh, come on, Bri, it can't be _that _bad," Mariah spoke up.

"Are you kidding? I think my esophagus has a hole burned in it!"

"He doesn't like how I cook anything, _tam bien _He says even my top ramen is hot, but only because I put my special sauces in it," Paul replied. "I'm MEXICAN on my _mami's _side, put no blame on me."

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that may not hold up as a defense in court if you get charged with murder by spicy food," Montana teased.

"Brian's drinking out of the faucet," Paul laughed.

"He may need to use the _garden hose_," Montana grinned.

"It's not that bad, _tam bien_. Sheesh, whities." He blew a raspberry.

"Easy for you to say. Not all of us have cast iron stomachs. Good lord, poor Brian."

"Oh he's not poor; _oquela, _he's being a drama queen."

"With his intestines in flames. My God, Paul, what did you do?"

"Nothing. He's just a pussy."

"Your husband's trying to kill me, Mon!" Brian called.

"Have a Tums," she offered, "and the spaghetti is on the second shelf in the fridge."

"Thanks, it's good to know someone cooks around here without criminal intent on their minds."

The girls had come bouncing in from playing. "Is that _Papi's_ chili?" Mac asked. "I want some!"

"I wouldn't eat that stuff if I were you. It burns up little girls' tummies," Brian warned.

"Uh uh!" Kira said. "It's good!"

"Imagine that. A four year old can handle it better than you, Spanky," Paul laughed.

Brian let out a loud belch.

"Eww, Uncle Spanky!" Mac scolded. "That's gross!"

"Thank you Jesus. I'm going to live after all. Sorry about that, girls, but for a moment there, I thought your _papi _was going to kill me with that chili."

"Drama queen," Paul snorted playfully, filling bowls for the girls. "By the way, wuss, your spaghetti is warmed up."

"Put lots of cheese on mine," Mariah called. "And maybe a little of that special pepper Paul has out there."

"Is she fucking _kidding?" _Brian asked, wide eyed.

"Get used to it, Spank," Paul answered. "You'll experience all kinds of weird food cravings from Mimi now until Baby Midget arrives." He handed Brian the pepper with a grin. "Don't say I didn't warn you far enough ahead of time."


	93. Chapter 93

**Chapter 93**

Shaun had gotten off from a late shift at her second job when she had spotted Brian after stopping to get something to eat.

"Hey," she called. "Out awfully late, aren't you?"

"Yeah," he answered. "First at the 7-11 for peanut butter, and now here for tacos. Mimi's gotten some weird ass tastes."

"Ewww," she made a face. "The joy of impending motherhood."

"Yeah, PL warned me about things, but I never thought it would be _this_ bad."

"I thought Montana's donuts and Pepsi was something when she was pregnant with Michael," Shaun laughed, "but _peanut butter and tacos?"_

"Not my idea," Brian replied. "I would have gone with traditional dill pickles and ice cream. Not Mimi. Jesus."

"Count your blessings she doesn't want any of Paul's famous chili."

"Oh sweet Jesus," Brian groaned. "Do not remind me of _that_. He just tried to bump me off with that stuff a couple of nights ago. Worse, there was two little girls that ate that shit and neither even as much as had a bead of sweat."

"They're their father's children, what can we say?" Shaun chuckled.

"I found that out the hard way. Anyway, I've arranged that Mimi stays with Montana and the kids when I'm away. You know, in case anything goes wrong with the little one."

"She seems all right so far. You worry way too much, kiddo. So what kind of tacos did mother to be have in mind?"

"According to her, 'the greasier and spicier, the better.' Jesus, if I didn't know any better, I'd think this was PL's kid instead of mine."

"Perhaps she's training it _in utero_," Shaun laughed.

"If you're right, that kid is going to be weirder than I am, if that is humanly possible," Brian said, making a face. "In any case, I have to get home with El Prego's snack before she thinks I was abducted by aliens or God forbid, ate this crap myself. Frankly, a smoke would be a lot more attractive right now."

"See you around then," Shaun nodded before turning to place her order.

_Meanwhile:_

"_Peanut butter and spicy tacos?" _Montana asked, wrinkling up her face. "And you had the nerve to make fun of me for wanting donuts and Pepsi when I was carrying Michael."

"Don't forget green pepper and sausage pizza with strawberry ice cream," Mariah giggled.

"Ugh. And I thought _Paul _ate crazy things. Of course, he hardly qualifies as normal to begin with."

"I don't think any of us qualify as normal."

"How is the baby doing?"

Mariah gently patted the small bulge. "So far, so good. It shouldn't be long before I know what it is for sure."

"I thought you wanted it to be a surprise."

"At first, but it would be my stinking luck I'd decorate the nursery the wrong color."

"You can't go wrong with a pale yellow or white," Montana suggested.

Mariah thought a moment. "Come to think of it, that wouldn't be a bad idea. I wouldn't go wrong with either, and I wouldn't have to listen to Brian yell about having to redo it."

"Speaking of which, I haven't heard anything about you two making it legal," Montana said with a knowing smile.

"Neither have I," Mariah replied. "If and when that happens, it probably won't be until after I have the baby. No way in hell am I walking down the aisle with a huge belly."

"Mon?" Paul called from the kitchen, interrupting them. "Who's been in my peppers?"

"Who on earth would want _jalapenos _besides you?" she responded before Mariah gave a small burp. "Wait, never mind."

"Sorry, Paul," Mariah said. "I got a little hungry waiting for Brian to get back here with my tacos and peanut butter."

"Fucking hell. First my jalapenos, now peanut butter and tacos? Christ. You are one strange pregnant chick. Then again, look who knocked you up."

"Paul!" Montana scolded.

"Sounds like the midget is back," Paul said. "There is a sound of a team of horses coming up the front steps anyway."

"Here's your food I had to run out and get at midnight," Brian said, dropping the bags into Mariah's lap.

"Oooh, spicy tacos too! You are wonderful!"

"Jesus, it's a wonder you have any room left for more spice after you raided my peppers," Paul said.

"You ate jalapenos?" Brian asked. "You _hate_ those things."

"For some reason, they tasted pretty good now," Mariah answered.

"Oh yeah, guys, I ran into Shaun. She says hi."

"Out awful late, wasn't she?" Montana wondered.

"Yeah, she was just coming from work when I stopping in for El Prego's taco bounty."

Mariah offered a taco. "Want a bite?"

"Hell no, that thing will kill me as much as PL's cooking does. Besides, I picked up a mild burrito for me."

"Oh gee, thanks a lot, Spanky," Paul snorted.

"Speaking of all things household, remember, it's your turn to do the kitchen tomorrow," Montana reminded Paul.

"Jesus Christ, I just did the bathroom today. I cook, I clean, I really DO feel like a housewife, even _with _a wife."

"Consider it part of our partnership," Montana said, giving him a quick kiss. "And you did a fantastic job in the bathroom. There's something for you on the kitchen counter."

"Whoa, Doritos!" he cried cheerfully. "With the _hot _salsa. Baby, I love you!"

"I'm glad you're pleased," Montana smiled.

"Hmm, maybe I should try something like that with _this_ one," Mariah said, indicating Brian.

"Oh no!" Brian protested. "I am not getting roped into being your personal slave! I'm already working on the nursery and going on your damn food runs at all hours when I'm home."

"Yeah," Paul agreed. "You don't want Midget doing stuff, especially if it involves fire, sharp objects, or anything mechanical."

"Paul? You're not helping here," Brian said.

"What? Just putting out a warning."

Brian then looked back at Mariah. "Tell me you just did not put cayenne pepper on that taco."

"Why not? Paul may be on to something with this spice thing."

"I can drink hot sauce straight out of the bottle, _tam bien_, you have seen nothing," Paul grinned.

Montana made a face. "Ugh. I wasn't even that bad when I was pregnant."

"I'm Mexican, food without a kick isn't food at all," Paul protested.

"As I have found out the hard way," Montana nodded. "Even so, sometimes I wonder if we should get you a pregnancy test too."


	94. Chapter 94

**Chapter 94**

"You won't believe it," Mariah said when she came from the doctor one afternoon.

"What?" Montana asked. "Is everything all right?"

"More than all right," Mariah answered with a tone of excitement. "It's a boy!"

"I thought you didn't want to know," Shaun said, puzzled.

"At first I didn't, but then the curiosity was starting to kill me," Mariah grinned. "So I gave in and had to ask."

"I felt the same way with Michael," Montana nodded. "So are you going to tell Papa or is this going to be a big secret?"

"I'm still debating on that one," Mariah replied, "but I guess he's bound to find out sooner or later, so no use torturing him."

"Eh, torture him for a week or two," Shaun laughed. "It will be fun."

"It would, but I think Brian's suffered enough between me being restless in bed and all the night time food runs he's made for me. Plus he's been a trooper with the nursery even if Paul had to come in and fix up some of the mess Brian had made."

"Beats hiring a contractor," Montana smiled. "And you have to give Bri kudos for at least making the effort."

"Exactly my sentiment," Mariah agreed, nodding. "And contrary to what he thinks, I still say he's going to be a great dad."

"Amen to that," the other women chimed.

"Considering he's practically a kid himself, I don't think it will be too difficult for him to adjust," Shaun grinned.

"Not in the least," Montana added. "But you may want to keep an eye on him with the feeding and changing issues."

_In the next room:_

"Come on, Mikey," Kira said, encouraging her baby brother, who smiled up at her. "On your knees like this. You can do it. You're a big boy."

"Sissy, what are you doing?" Mac asked.

"Teaching Mikey to crawl."

"Sissy, you can't _teach_ a baby to crawl. They do that by themselves when they are big enough."

"But he's already up on his tummy and pushing up with his arms," Kira pointed out. "I think he's ready!"

"Girls?" Montana called. "What's going on in there?"

"Kira thinks she can teach Mikey to crawl," Mac said, coming in and rolling her eyes.

"I can!" Kira cried from the other room.

"Sweetie, she's not yet five; she doesn't know any better. You know how Kira loves spending time with Michael. If she thinks she can show him how to crawl, let her."

"I still say he's too little," Mac shook her head.

"Well, he's had plenty of tummy time lately, so you never know," Shaun reassured her.

"And pushing himself up a few times," Mariah nodded. "From the books I've been reading, it should be about the time he should be crawling soon anyway, right?"

"So they say," Montana nodded, "but each baby is different and it's known that boys tend to develop slower than girls."

"Well, that explains Brian," Mariah laughed.

"And perhaps Paul at times," Montana replied, joining in on the teasing.

"You two are awful," Shaun chuckled, shaking her head. "Hey, where are those two anyway?"

"Fixing more of Brian's nursery disasters," Mariah answered. "I feel so sorry for Paul, I sometimes think that I should give him some kind of hazard pay, especially the times when Brian calls him his Mexican slave boy."

"I don't think Paul really minds," Montana said, stirring a pot in the kitchen. "He's always enjoyed all that handy stuff. He did Michael's entire nursery himself. I have a feeling we will have two very ravenous men when they do get back here, though."

"Judging from that smell, they will all over whatever is in that pot out there," Shaun said.

"Homemade beef vegetable soup," Montana responded. "It's Daddy's recipe. He got it from his mother. It was one of my and Sly's favorite things when we were kids. It's probably one of the few non-spicy things that Paul actually eats without complaint that doesn't come from a fast food joint. I just helped Dotty make and freeze some of this the other day."

"It smells goooooooooooooooooooood," Mac said. "I can't wait to have some."

"Well, you'll have to wait until Brian and your _papi _get back here," Montana replied, "plus it needs to simmer for at least another hour."

"Provided they survived the latest disaster," Mariah laughed.

"If Paul's there, they will," Shaun nodded.

_Meanwhile:_

"Jesus, Spanky, you ever hear of when in doubt, read the directions?" Paul asked. "I had to take this whole damn crib apart and put it back together right."

"They were in _Spanish_," Brian shrugged. "I had to kind of wing it."

"Dude, the English ones were on the _back_," Paul said, pointing to the sheet.

"Guess that explains why I had parts left over, huh?"

"That would be a sign you screwed up somewhere, yeah. But on the good side of things, you did a kick ass job with the painting."

Brian glowed from the praise. "Yeah? You like the yellow?"

"It's a good color. Not so bright it's scary, not too dark. It's perfect."

"Well, there was this chick at the paint store that helped me pick it. Mimi and I don't know what we're having so we figured if we painted this room yellow, we won't fuck up, no matter what the baby is."

"Good idea," Paul nodded.

"Thanks for fixing the furniture and all the other shit I messed up, man. I should have known better than to take something like this on."

"No problem. What are friends for? Besides, a contractor would have charged you up to the balls for all of this."

"Speaking of what are friends for, Mimi and I are going to need witnesses."

Paul was taken aback. "_Huh?"_

"We discussed it. As soon as she pops the kid, we're going down to the courthouse and make it official. We need witnesses. So are you and Montana in?"

"Can't speak for the wife, but as for me, hell yes!" Paul replied with a wide grin.

_A short time later:_

"You're getting married?" Montana asked.

"As soon as I have the baby," Mariah replied. "It's nothing fancy; we're just going down to the courthouse."

"That's not going to be much of a wedding, Mariah."

"No, but that's what we want. I'm not into all the pomp and circumstance, and I figure we're already going to have a baby, so why have a major gala? On top of that, all the gossip sites won't get hold of it, either."

"Well, at least let Paul and me throw you two a party," Montana offered.

"I guess that wouldn't hurt, but just a few people."

"Of course."

"_Mami!" _Kira called. "Come here quick! It's Mikey!"

Montana grew anxious, heading into the next room. "Oh God, Kira, what is it?"

"Look!" Kira's eyes were glowing with pride.

_Michael was crawling!_


	95. Chapter 95

**Chapter 95**

"When did he start this?" Paul asked, watching Michael crawl around the room.

"A few hours ago while you were over at Brian's," Montana replied.

"_Papi, _I showed him!" Kira said excitedly.

"Oh boy. I guess next you're going to show him how to walk, huh?" Paul winked at his younger daughter.

Kira nodded. "When he's big enough. But he's still a baby right now." She then went off to play with the baby.

"Unless we put Michael in the playpen, we really have to watch him now," Montana explained, "not to mention you guys are going to have to make sure the sliding door is closed."

"Oh God," Paul groaned. "He hates that damn playpen."

"I know, but it's either that or risk Michael getting in Lord knows what or being hurt. You know, putting up those outlet covers and having the house 'baby proofed' were very good ideas. I'm glad you thought of that so far ahead of time."

"I've had those outlet covers since Mac started crawling," Paul grinned. "And I figured with Mikey getting bigger, it was time to have a few safety checks to keep my little Londonator here from as much danger as possible. I can't have anything happen to my heir, can I?"

"Oh heaven forbid," Montana chuckled. "So how is the big nursery project?"

"I think poor Spanky is lost."

"I'm sure you were too before Mac came along."

"Yeah, compared to where Spank is right now, you aren't kidding. I was a freaking mess. But I guess I learned as I went along. I guess by the time Mikey got here, I pretty much had it down."

"I certainly hope so. You raised the girls practically yourself the last few years before we started dating and got married."

"And girls are a challenge, let me tell you," Paul said.

"Wait until they're teenagers," Montana smiled. "We'll have challenges for sure. But can you keep a secret?"

"I guess so."

"Not a word to Brian. Promise? It's up to Mariah to tell him."

"What? There's nothing wrong with the baby, is there?"

"No, all went very well. But she's having a boy."

"Oh God, Abraham, and Moses," Paul covered his face. "Not a _mini Brian_."

Montana couldn't help but laugh. "You say that like it's a bad thing when I know damn well you're going to spoil that baby as much as you have your own son."

Paul looked up and gave a goofy smile. "Who, me?"

"Yes, you. And remember, not a word to him. I don't know for sure if Mariah wants him to know yet for sure, and if that is the case, _she_ should be the one to tell him."

"My lips are sealed," he promised. "So everything really did go all right at the doctor for Mimi?"

"She says everything is progressing as it should," Montana nodded.

He then sniffed. "Is that your soup?"

"Yes," she replied, "but don't make a pig of yourself. Save some for everyone else. The other happy couple will be back shortly; they went to get crackers and dessert."

"Provided Mimi doesn't eat the dessert herself before they come back."

"Paul! Really."

"I was kidding. Hey, she's got to keep the little guy fed too."

"The way you've been fussing around, one would think _we_ were having the baby instead of those two."

"Speaking of babies….Kira, where's Mikey?" Paul asked her.

"I'm looking for him!" she called back. "Oh no! The sliding door wasn't closed all the way, _Mami!"_

"Dear God," Montana gasped. "I knew something like this would happen. Let me go find him."

Just then, Brian and Mariah had returned with their bounty and Brian carrying a laughing Michael.

"Someone lose a cute little creepy crawler?" he asked, putting the baby down. Michael crawled away toward a grateful and relieved Kira.

"Where was he?" Montana asked. "I was about to go out to look for him."

"Just out on the porch. I figured maybe either PL or one of the girls must not have closed the sliding door all the way and Mikey there managed to get out."

She sighed with relief. "Thank goodness he didn't get far before you two showed up. Seriously, though, you and the girls need to make sure that door is closed. We may not be so lucky next time."

"You're right," Paul agreed. "Better yet, I may just keep it locked when we aren't using it." He then peered in a bag. "Hey, pecan pie! And it's intact! Mimi didn't destroy this after all."

"You are just a walking bag of hilarity, aren't you, Paul?" Mariah shook her head.

"He's just teasing," Montana reassured her. "To be honest, I think he'd really be concerned if you _weren't_ eating."

"You got it," Paul grinned. "No way in hell will I sit by and see any godchild of mine starve without me saying something about it! Now, let's go dig into some fine soup and kill this pie."


	96. Chapter 96

**Chapter 96**

Several months had passed since Michael had started crawling, and he was more active than ever. Paul and Brian were watching him one afternoon while Montana had taken Mariah to the doctor. Mariah was eight weeks away from her due date, and so far, things had looked well.

Michael had eyed the remote control to the TV Paul dropped on the floor besides the couch and was now trying to eat it.

"Mikey, dude, get that out of your mouth," Paul said, gently taking the remote away from Michael, who stared back at him quizzically. "You don't know where that's been."

"Especially when your _papi_ has sat on it most of the time," Brian added, joking.

Paul smacked him on the head. "What?" Brian asked.

"Always have to be a smart shit, don't you?"

"Well, every time someone turns around, you're looking for that thing, and nine times out of ten, it's usually under your ass."

"Kind of like the few times either my phone or iPod ended up under _yours_," Paul countered.

"Speaking of which, PL, I think Mikey found your phone. You need to start keeping stuff off the floor, man."

"_Oquela! Hijo de bebé, _no!" Paul jumped up, taking the cell phone from Michael.

"Welcome to hell," he sighed, putting it in his pocket. "To think this is what you and Mimi have to look forward to."

"Wait until he starts walking."

"Jesus, Spanky, he's been barely crawling for how long now. That's been torture enough. Let me tell you, he's moving faster than either of the girls at that age."

"His eyesight's good too," Brian pointed out, spotting Michael pulling on the laces of a pair of shoes. "He found your green Nikes."

"Mikey, Jesus! Will you stop?"

Michael fussed a little while Paul put the shoes into a closet. "It's like he's finding things every thirty seconds. I'd put him in the playpen, but then he'll scream bloody murder. He hates that thing."

"I can't blame the little dude. If someone stuck me in there, I'd scream too. That thing looks like a mini-prison."

"Which is why I leave that part to his _mami," _Paul nodded. "While on the subject, how has the _mami-a- es _been?"

"Doing good. Seems to be expanding more every day, though she doesn't seem as big and cranky as Montana was at that stage."

"Well, maybe Mimi's going to be lucky and not pop out a ten pounder."

"I can't believe we're this close to having a kid. It didn't seem that long ago we'd found out she was pregnant. Holy shit."

"Yep, be prepared for middle of the night feedings, puked on, peed on, shit on, and a few big boogery sneezes in between," Paul said with a grin. "Of course, you see what happens when they start to crawl, then the challenge really comes when they start to walk."

"Jesus, Paul, you make it sound like a disaster," Brian shuddered.

"I've been through it twice already," Paul replied, "and of course, working on the third time. Mikey, shit! Not my socks! Ewww!"

"To think Mimi and I have all this to look forward to," Brian muttered, watching Paul take the sock from Michael.

"Dude, your pocket's ringing," he told Paul as the phone went off.

"Keep an eye on Mikey for a sec while I get this thing, will you?" Paul asked, then took the call, going into the next room.

He returned about ten minutes later, looking a little pale, explaining they had to leave. Beverly was home and would take Mikey and would also get the girls when they came in from school.

"What's going on, PL? What happened?"

"It's a long story. I'll tell you in the car, but we have to leave ASAP."


	97. Chapter 97

**Chapter 97**

They arrived at the emergency room not long after Paul had filled in Brian on what happened on the way to the hospital.

Montana had been en route to taking Mariah to her obstetrician when a car had run a light and run into the passenger side of their car. Mariah had been knocked out immediately and the impact had sent her into premature labor. Worse, the fire department had to cut both women out of the car.

Montana hadn't _appeared_ to be injured, but the doctors wanted to keep her overnight for observation anyway. Though both she and Mariah had been trapped in the car, Montana had been able to get to her phone to call for help and keep Mariah stable until it arrived.

She was just thankful both of them had been wearing seat belts though concerned that though her air bag had activated, Mariah's hadn't.

Perhaps, looking back, it could have been a good thing that it didn't.

The baby had been delivered in the emergency room; the boy had barely weighed five pounds. Shortly after, Mariah had gone into cardiac arrest, but thanks to the diligence and skill of the medical staff, she had been brought back and was now in stable yet guarded condition.

Mariah had a broken leg, two broken ribs, some lacerations, and was weak from labor, but she would fully recover.

The tiny boy was named Leif, a Scandinavian name (Mariah had Scandinavian on her mother's side) that translated into "descendent, heir" and she had chosen the middle name for his dad, which Mariah had previously found the name 'Brian' had been possibly related to the old Celtic element _bre_ meaning "hill", or by extension "high, noble." It was perfect.

Leif too was under observation; he had been take to the NICU, but so far hadn't shown any outward trauma. Nevertheless, he was closely watched and examined at every opportunity, and every minute detail charted.

Both Brian and Paul had been incensed when they discovered the other driver had been intoxicated when he had run into Montana, and Brian had already made arrangments to consult an injury attorney for both Mariah and Leif–just in case.

Brian had also made a point to attend the other driver's arraignment the following morning; it was important to not only have a member of the victims' families there, but also be kept up to date on exactly how and when this guy was going to be prosecuted. To think he had nearly lost his own child to some person's own irresponsibility annoyed Brian to no end, and he wanted justice for both Mariah and little Leif.

Montana was sent home the next day, a little sore and her arm bruised from it hitting the steering wheel, but other than that, she was no worse for wear. Still, Paul fussed over her like a worried old woman, not even letting her pick up Michael to take care of him.

"Paul, really, I don't think I would have been sent home if the doctors didn't think I was all right. I don't think it's going to be a strain to let me change our own son. Shouldn't you be packing to do a show this weekend anyway?"

"They heard about the accident and Leif and gave me and Bri both time off," Paul explained.

"Oh lovely," Montana sighed.

"Beverly's bringing over dinner and the girls are over there doing homework and playing."

"For Pete's sake, as if she doesn't have enough to do with her mother and Brady over there."

"Hey, _her_ idea, not mine. By the way, Bev gave me a number for an agency to get a lady for Mimi when she comes home with the baby. Being she's going to be laid up with a cast on her leg for awhile, she's going to need some help."

"Yeah, she's going to need a lot of help right now," Montana agreed. "Any word on when they're coming home?"

"Mimi's supposed to be home sometime early next week if she keeps improving, but I think they're going to keep the kiddo awhile longer just to be on the safe side."

"Considering what they've both been through, that may not be a bad idea."

"Guess the shotgun wedding will obviously be postponed."

"Paul, good lord! It's not a shotgun wedding. They just didn't want anything fancy. And I seriously doubt Mariah would want to get married with a cast on her leg anyway."

"Yeah, yeah. So,_ mi amor, _what else can I do for you?"

"How about letting me go to the bathroom in peace? I don't think you can pee for me."

"You think you can…."

"Yes, Paul, I can walk there just fine. You can make yourself useful and get me a couple of Tylenol when I come back, though."

"Consider it done. I have to get Mikey a bottle anyway."

Montana looked around. "Where did he go?"

"I thought he was in the living room with you," Paul answered, confused.

"Oh God," she groaned. "Here we go again."

"Just go use the bathroom," Paul nodded. "He couldn't have gone too far."

At that moment, Michael crawled out from behind the couch with a wide smile, much to his mother's relief.

"Good lord, child," she said, sighing with relief. "don't you think I've had enough close calls this past week?"


	98. Chapter 98

**Chapter 98**

A week later, Montana had come home after she, Shaun, and Beverly had visited Mariah. Paul had stood with Michael being he was on "compassionate hiatus" anyway, and he had some exciting news for her.

"So how is Mimi progressing?" he asked, getting out of the way first things first.

"A lot better than everyone normally expected," she smiled. "And she's going to be able to bring Leif home with her when she's discharged on Friday."

Paul brightened. "No kidding?"

"Yes. To quote one of the nurses, 'Leif may be the smallest in the nursery, but he's also the loudest.' I guess if nothing else, his lungs are just fine."

"He's his father's son, what do you expect?" Paul asked, laughing.

"By the way, the preliminary hearing for the other driver is next week," Montana added. "We'll have to go to court."

Paul nodded. "Is Mimi going to be up to that, though?"

"Well, I don't know if she'll do much good or not, being she was knocked out on impact. I pretty much know more what actually happened and can help the case more than she could, but I suppose the lady prosecutor wants Mariah there to make a point of the whole thing."

"You know Spanky's going to want to go too. He's already filed papers for the civil case. From what he's told me, he's going after everything but the guy's balls, especially since the dude let his insurance lapse too."

"Not very intelligent, being it wasn't enough he was _drunk_ in the middle of the day to begin with."

"Yeah, and it's pretty clear one has hell to pay when they cross Spanky."

"Taking into consideration Mariah could have lost that baby, I can't say I blame him for going after what he can."

Paul nodded. "Me neither. Stuff like this really chaps my ass. I hope the judge throws the book at that asshole."

"Well, I certainly hope he gets some kind of time for this, being he all but practically walked away _unscathed, _and I know how sensitive you are about this kind of thing, especially since you lost a brother to such a person."

"Right, which is why I'm going to stress to both these girls and Mikey when they're old enough to drive not to do something so stupid. Now I can use Leif as an example, even if the kid got somewhat lucky."

Montana nodded. "Well, there is a good side to all of this. There's going to be a very happy wedding once Mariah's cast comes off."

Paul grinned. "Yeah." He then began to snicker.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing."

"Come on, Paul, you're not about to split your gut open over nothing."

"Just thinking about Spanky as daddy."

"What's so funny about that?"

"He was the _last_ person I thought that would settle down."

"That goes to show how some things can turn out in a way we don't expect. Besides, I'm sure he'll be a wonderful father to Leif. Look how well he had done with Michael from time to time."

"Yeah, but he could give Mikey back," Paul replied. "By the way, that was the other thing I wanted to discuss with you."

"What? There's nothing wrong with him, is there? Oh lord, the last thing we need is–"

Paul cut her off, pointing down at the baby, who had pulled himself up on Paul's pants leg. "Actually, there isn't a better time to tell you than now. Looks like it won't be long before we have ourselves a little walker."

Montana glowed. "Well, he is close to a year old," she pointed out.

"And more shit he can get into," he answered. "Looks like I'm going to have to keep the coffee and end tables cleared up too, aside from telling the girls to keep their stuff picked up. Of course, they've been pretty good about that anyway."

Paul's phone then rang, which he checked the Caller ID. "Aha," he grinned. "It is the new papa. I'm guessing he is on his way to visit his heir and queen. Let me get some details."

_A short time later:_

"The attorney said what?" Paul asked, shocked.

"Up to three mil," Brian replied. "We can recover for both Leif and Mimi's medical expenses, the pain and suffering bullshit, of course the car, her loss of work, and if needed, future care for Leif. There's some other shit too, but he was rambling on."

"_Three million? Oquela."_

"Well, I couldn't exactly ask for rubles. But you know, PL, if I'd lost both of them, all the money in the world wouldn't have mattered, whether this asshole could afford it or not. Montana said he was driving some kind of tricked out Jaguar."

"Yeah. She told me the preliminary hearing is in criminal court next week and they want Mimi to be there too."

"They do, and even if they didn't, she's insisting on going anyway. Mimi's as pissed about this whole thing as we are. You're coming with us, aren't you?"

"You bet your sweet ass I am," Paul replied. "Montana tells me Leif has some great lungs."

"Are you trying to say my kid has a big mouth?" Brian asked laughingly.

"He's his _papi's_ boy already," Paul responded.

"Hey, we little people have to be loud, so you all have to look down and hear us. Lucky for my boy, he's already learned early."

"Lucky for us, he's going to be here to learn a lot more in the coming years," Paul said. "And I'm sure he and Mikey will keep us both hopping as we all get older."


	99. Chapter 99

**Chapter 99**

"Good morning, sunshine!" Shaun called out toward the porch area a week after Mariah had come home with Leif.

Brian responded with a grunt and a half-wave, going back to his coffee and cigarette.

"It's kind of a cardinal rule around here lately not to speak with the king until after his smoke and second cup of coffee," Mariah said. "If it isn't bad enough he's gotten a throat infection, Leif here had us up most of the night with diarrhea and the fussing that came with it."

"Oh my. You with a broken leg and two sick, grumpy men. Not quite the happy household."

"I can relate to that," Montana nodded, sipping her own coffee. "I have my own Grumpy Gus. But did you call the pediatrician they referred you for Leif about the diarrhea? I just hope he didn't pick up anything at the hospital."

Mariah nodded. "Just make sure he gets enough fluids and keep an eye on him for anything else."

"You poor little thing," Shaun said, lifting up the small, blond bundle gently. "You've had a rough start in life, haven't you?"

Curious, Michael waddled over to where she was, studying the baby and reaching out to him.

"Michael," Montana warned him softly. "No poking. Be nice."

"I think someone likes the new baby," Shaun grinned as Leif wrapped a tiny fist around Michael's finger. "Don't you, Michael?"

"I think they all do," Mariah laughed. "Even the girls have Leif spoiled silly."

"Those girls would dote on _any_ baby," Montana nodded with a smile, "especially Kira. You know, we were so concerned when I was having Michael. She actually thought her dad and I wouldn't love her anymore when the baby came, yet when you see the two of them now, Kira is practically glued to Michael. I don't think I've seen that little girl get so excited in my life when he started crawling and again when he walked."

"Someone adores her baby brother, huh?" Shaun asked.

"That's an understatement," Montana chuckled. "Kira was attached to Michael from the time we brought him home. She and Mac both treated him like this live, big doll. Of course, Mac's not so enthused now that he's gotten bigger, but Kira? Heaven forbid if this boy is out of her sight more than thrity seconds when they play."

Michael soon drifted away from Shaun, who had now given Mariah the baby, making his way over to his mother, plopping on his bottom on the way.

"_Mami_," he exclaimed as he pulled himself back up to a standing position on Montana's chair.

She stared in shock for a moment, and then looked at the others. "Did he say what I think he did?"

"Sounded like _'Mami' _to me," Mariah smiled.

"_Mami_," Michael repeated, grinning.

"My God," Montana said, thrilled. "This is amazing!"

"_Mami_," Michael said again, having an idea it was something good.

Montana scooped up her son. "Yes, sweetheart, I'm _Mami. _You are getting to be such a big boy. The next thing your dad and I will know, you'll be in high school."

Mariah nodded, staring down at her own son, who had fallen asleep. "Yeah," she agreed, "I guess the best time to enjoy them is right now."

_Later that day:_

"_Mami_," Michael said, grinning up at Paul.

"What the hell?" he asked lost. "Sorry, kid, but I am one funny looking _mami, _and when did you start talking?"

"When we were over at Brian's this morning. Michael came out with that all of the sudden," Montana answered.

"Where was I?"

"On the porch overdosing on Mexican coffee with Bri."

"Oh, right."

"_Mami_," Michael said again.

"No, buddy, _Mami_ is out in the kitchen. I'm _Papi. _Can you say _Papi?"_

"_Mami._"

"No, Mikey. _Papi."_

"_Mami_."

"_Papi, _dude. Say it. Say _Papi."_

"_Mami."_

"_Oquela_. Why do I have a feeling my work is going to be cut out for me?" Paul asked.

"Taking into consideration as much time he spends with me, his first word should be _Mami." _Montana couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"_Mami_," Michael repeated, grinning widely.

"Okay, Mikey, you win," Paul grinned back down at him. "You'll be talking in sentences soon enough anyway."

He then turned his attention back at Montana. "I have to admit, though, it makes me wonder what kind of words Brian will be teaching Leif when the time comes."

"Let them cross that bridge when they get to it," Montana answered. "I'm sure in any case Mariah will be more than happy to step in to make sure Leif doesn't learn anything too inappropriate, at least not right away."

"Good point. Thank God for Mimi, or we'd really have a miniature Spanky on our hands if not worse," Paul said, laughing. "One of those is enough, thank you very much."

_The next day:_

Montana checked in with Mariah after getting the girls off to school, keeping one eye on Michael as she did so.

"How's Leif?" she asked when Mariah picked up.

"No more runs, thank goodness," Mariah replied. "He actually slept right through last night except when I had to feed him at one-thirty, but that's par for the course."

"Ahh, the good old days of me getting up to do the same for Michael."

"Oh, and he peed on Brian this morning. Papa was not a happy camper. I'm beginning to think that man knows curse words I never thought existed in the English language."

Montana broke out laughing. "If I had a dollar for every time Michael had done that to Paul! Poor Bri; I should have warned him about getting out of the way of 'the aim' when changing Leif."

"You've gotten Mike walking and saying his first word. It won't be long now before you're potty training him," Mariah said.

"Yes," Montana answered. "They grow up fast. It's hard to believe Kira's going to be in kindergarten next year and Mac in third grade. My goodness, soon they'll be in junior high before we know it. Right now, though, Paul's newest project is getting Michael to say _'Papi'."_

"Any luck?" Mariah asked.

"No, Michael's still stuck on _'Mami'."_

"Well, be thankful it's _'Papi' _he's trying to teach the kid and not Spanish cuss words."

"Give it time," Montana responded. "It's only a matter of time before Paul gets the wild idea to do that, that is, if Michael doesn't learn on his own. His pediatrician said he's at the age now where he'll pick up things. It's just that he is learning so fast."

"Well, you and Paul have read to him a lot since he was born," Mariah pointed out. "And of course, the girls spent a lot of time with him. Frankly, I was thinking of doing the reading thing with Leif, since I've seen it worked so well on Michael."

"Yes, he may like that," Montana said. "And they're never too young to teach things, especially since Leif had such a rough beginning."

"Speaking of rough beginnings, I didn't want to say anything yesterday, but the attorney for the other driver settled out of court."

"Oh?"

"I guess with the publicity surrounding the upcoming hearing on the criminal charges, they wanted to keep the civil suit hush hush."

"They didn't try to give a smaller settlement, did they?" Montana was concerned.

"Are you kidding? Even if it isn't about the money, Brian wouldn't stand for it if they had tried that. If nothing else, he was fighting to make sure Leif gets the care he might need. But they offered the three million."

"Wow, that's pretty generous."

"Considering our attorney uncovered more assets of this guy's worth? I would say so. I also think that's why they chose to settle too. Needless to say, Bri took the offer and did his little victory dance."

"Now let's hope he does a bigger victory dance when that guy gets the book thrown at him in criminal court," Montana said firmly. "And I will make damn sure not to leave one detail out, either. I too, am doing this for little Leif."


	100. CONCLUSION

**Chapter 100-CONCLUSION**

"259 days in the joint?" Paul asked, outraged.

"Yeah, with credit for time served, then he gets house arrest after that for another six months. It pissed me off too. I guess it's true that money talks and bullshit walks," Brian replied. "I guess that dude had one hell of a good attorney, even with Montana's testimony. I really can't bitch, though. He's going to be paying for Leif's care anyway."

"I guess one out of two isn't bad," Paul sighed.

"On the good side of things, you won't believe it."

"What?"

"Did you know judges can perform weddings?"

"Well, duh, I kind of figured that was why you and Mimi were going to have a courthouse wedding when she got her cast off, dumb ass."

"We planned on going to a _justice of the peace. _Anyway, this judge somehow heard about my and Mimi's plans and offered to marry us when the time came."

Paul gave a low whistle. "No shit?"

"Yeah. Go figure."

"Well, I will admit it's one hell of a story, Spanky. I think Leif's going to dig this whole thing someday."

"Come to think of it, I think he will too. As they say, things happen for a reason. Knock on wood, he seems to be all right so far."

Paul grinned and toasted his best friend with his coffee mug. "And may the little Spankinator stay that way in all the years to come."

_Later on:_

When Leif was two months old, Mariah and Brian were married by the judge that had presided over the drunk driver's trial. Mariah resigned from her job with the ring crew soon after and went to work with a non-profit organization dealing with families of DUI victims, allowing her more time to spend with her son, who went from a tiny newborn with rocky beginnings to an active, cheerful blond toddler.

Shortly after Michael's second birthday, Montana discovered she was pregnant again. Though they hadn't planned on any more children, Paul was thrilled, and Montana gave birth to a daughter, Naomi Paulina, shortly after Mac entered fourth grade and Kira first. They had the house expanded and inspected so Montana could obtain a license to open a day care center, a business she would co-own with Beverly, and where Leif was a regular when Mariah was at work and Brian was on the road.

Shaun returned to college to obtain her degree in criminal justice via evenings and online classes between working security before landing a solid job in the state crime lab as a criminalist. The company would miss her; she was one of their top security personnel for many years, but Shaun was now realizing her long-term dream and grabbed her own gold.

One night while he watched Michael and his two older daughters playing while cuddling three month old Naomi in his arms on the porch, Paul reflected back on the last few years of his life. He had gone from struggling to balance his career with raising two little girls by himself as a widowed father to having a new wife and two more children. All those times of being alone except for his job, Mac and Kira were a thing of the past, and now all he knew was pure happiness and contentment in life.

It was all he needed.


End file.
